Beta'd by LikaDcriss, who, without her nagging, is the reason I posted at all.

Enjoy! :D

I Kind Of, Sort Of Love You

Love. What a strange, complicated thing, no?

For the typical high school student, love is a new and strange thing they expect to find, but at times, don't. Kurt Hummel wasn't a typical high school student. He was a lot of things: A great singer, a critic of many of his classmates, a fashionable teenager (although, most didn't realize it), and a kid meant for greatness. What this greatness was is hard to know for sure but now, Kurt Hummel was a teenager who has gone through more than his fair share of heartache and tears.

Being gay wasn't the most important fact about him. Right now, the most important thing people had to know was that he was happy.

He woke up with a smile, or at least one soon appeared on his face once he realized it was a school day. Burt even noticed the little skip in his step whenever he was in the kitchen, looking for his low-sodium cereal. Even Finn noticed. But neither said a word about it. Burt just smiled knowingly to his wife from across the counter as his step-son listened to Kurt about something Finn wouldn't quite remember by the end of the day.

It didn't matter though.

Kurt didn't mind it if Finn forgot to put down the seat for Carole, or if he used his toothbrush by accident because his brother was in a rush to get ready (Kurt would just end up getting a new one either way). The usual things that would've unnerved him only nipped at his side, barely putting him into a discontent mood. He was happy. He was in love, or close to it.

School and his classes breezed passed him. He got work done, even when the Warblers decided to do a spontaneous practice session during study hall. Hell, he even manged to keep his mouth shut after Rachel called him at one in the morning – on a school day too – eyes balling and high-pitched because she found a scrapbook she made of Finn and her. Instead of hanging up on her like he would normally do, Kurt consoled her and actually managed to sleep that night.

Losing at Regionals didn't leave him in too bad of a mood either. The day after the fateful day, the Warblers couldn't carry a tune and a somber mood followed them for a week. He was happy for the New Directions, ridiculously proud as well despite the bittersweet undertone. But what actually made him jump for joy every morning since the week after was Blaine.

Not because of the New Directions' victory.

Not because he'll have a free day of bullying.

Not because he can walk out of the house without making Burt worry.

Because he had Blaine, and Blaine had him.

In the middle of the night, particularly every night for the past two weeks, Kurt would wake up after a dreamless sleep and stare into the dark of his room and think of his life. Past, present, and futures that could come.

There is something sweet and a little innocent about your first boyfriend. It was almost like having a crush, but it ended better (Finn was a perfect example of that, but now he had a brother). Whenever Kurt looked back at his last year at McKinely and the years before it, many of his firsts didn't turn out the way he wanted.

His first "girlfriend" came to be in a poor attempt to get attention from his father, amongst other things he rather forget. The first person to accept him for being gay he accidentally lead on – it was extremely difficult to explain to his father as to why his car windows were busted out – and eventually his first, actual best friend. And then there was his first kiss, the one that counted.

He always imagined the first time he kissed a guy it would feel...amazing. But when it happened, he never felt more confused and scared in his entire life. To him it seemed that the world had turned into a hypocritical, prejudiced place flooded with poor souls who were too ashamed of themselves to be who they were, and those who weren't afraid to step into the light were judged endlessly by ignorance.

From then on, McKinely turned into a beacon of that sort of world, shinning its acceptance on those unlike Kurt, and leaving him in the shadows. So he left, to Dalton, to where it was safer. He was thankful for it, even if it hurt to leave a family that embraced any fault he had. Now, perhaps for the first time in his life, he was happy.

His clock read 5:54 am. He couldn't sleep again.

The house was dead; spare for his parents sleeping in their bedroom and Finn snoring in his room. There was something special and romantic about waking up early on a Sunday morning. There was no rush around the house; everything was calm and relaxed. Often it was his step-mother and father to be the first to slip out from under the warmth of bed and start the day. By the time either Finn or Kurt stepped out of their rooms, a breakfast was on the table and a lazy, easy day was set before them.

Kurt rolled onto his back, staring into the white of the ceiling. He closed his eyes, searching for sleep and found none. He always had a restless mind, often drifting to things that made him day dream, but that night – or really morning; he could hear the morning birds – his thoughts were a seldom few and vanished just as quickly as they came.

Peaceful. That was the word; that was how the moment felt. Laying in his bed, staring to the heavens, and thinking of nothing. It was peaceful.

He turned his head to his nightstand. "6:03," he muttered, his throat dry. He flicked the covers off and disappeared to the bathroom. Soon the entire Hummel-Hudson household awoke, breaking the silent harmony Kurt had only started to appreciate.

Not that he minded very much. He had a date today.

Neither Kurt or Blaine set a specific day for 'Date Night' or whatever you wanted to call it, partly because they weren't a married couple in their mid 40's with two children (Kurt could dream though), and because that would've been terribly hard to explain to Mercedes. Yet, visiting the Lima Bean on Sunday afternoons became a tradition.

Blaine was the master-mind behind the whole idea. Each Sunday, Blaine would order the first thing he saw on the menu for Kurt and him. Each Sunday they both ended up eating cheesecake with whipped cream and hot coco.

Each time Kurt would glare from across their usual table at his boyfriend when he brought over their lunch. "You know," he said, "Because of you I deliberately avoid cheesecake since I know I'll get some on Sunday."

Blaine grinned. "Really? That doesn't seem fair. The cheesecake here isn't really that good."

"No, it isn't fair. But I don't mind; you pay for it anyway."

His boyfriend chuckled, taking his seat across from Kurt. His laugh was light and often teasing, and whenever his eyes crinkled and they looked like stars on a clear night, Kurt's heart would speed up – just for a moment – and he would shiver at the sight. God, the things Blaine did to him.

As Blaine ate, happily going on about his Saturday with Wes and Thad, Kurt only sat watching him in silence, his thoughts beginning to get the better of him. Delicately, his pale fingers twirled the fork in his hand and he sighed.

"Something wrong?"

Kurt looked up, back at Blaine still smiling gently, and eyes hinting at innocent curiosity.

Kurt felt like blushing. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't touched your food," he replied, somewhat worriedly.

Kurt glanced down to his plate and back. He could see the anxiety grow on Blaine's face as he began to fidget under his gaze.

After only a few weeks of dating, everything was still very new to them. Nearly everything they did as friends they did as boyfriends, although much of their outings ended with kissing rather than a simple "goodbye". For Kurt, he was very hesitant to lean over and kiss Blaine despite the urge to, and was equally cautious to even touch him. And yet Blaine didn't mind it as much as Kurt thought. Being the one to reach out and gently trace his fingertips over Kurt's wrist to gain his attention during study was often the best part of his day. Or when he would lean over and peck Kurt's cheek after leaving the theater because Burt wanted his son home by ten was, to Blaine, the perfect ending of an evening. Or during those brief moments with the Warblers when Blaine would catch his gaze and sing to Kurt. Blaine loved those moments.

And the moments he didn't enjoy were the ones when Kurt's eyes would fall to ground and he wouldn't speak to Blaine. It made him wonder if he had done something wrong.

"Kurt..." he began after no reply.

"Yes?" Kurt meekly replied.

"What's wrong? You're being awfully quiet."

Kurt swallowed down the tight feeling growing in his throat. Inside, his restless mind began to brew madly. In the middle of nights when sleep became a distant friend and his musing ran rapid, he also thought of what he had with Blaine and of things he wanted to tell him, but never had the nerve to. There were many things that danced on the edge of his tongue; so many things he wanted to say but couldn't.

Since the first moment they sang that duet by the fireplace, or held each others' hand after Regionals, Kurt wanted to say things he couldn't quite form into words that existed in the physical world.. He had no one to turn to and help him figure out what exactly he was feeling. The tight knot in the pit of his stomach was familiar enough, but it didn't turn him into a love-sick teenager that he was with Finn. In fact, the feeling wasn't sickening or over-powering as it was before, but exciting; it made him smile. Blaine made him smile. And when the feeling was gone, and he would glance over to Blaine, Kurt didn't mind its disappearance. It was always replaced by something better; more beautiful and fulfilling.

Happiness, he thought.

Tentatively, he looked into Blaine's eyes. His lips were dry, especially his throat but words still managed to come out. "Sorry, I..." he began. Out of habit, Blaine reached out and clasped his hand with Kurt's.

Looking down at the hand over his, Kurt's expression slackened and felt at ease. "I...I was just thinking." he confessed.

The worried look on Blaine's face didn't disappear. "About?"

Kurt stammered."Uh..." The tightness in his throat returned. "I was thinking about..." I was thinking about how much I love you.

His eyes widened and rapid thoughts came to a sudden halt.

"Kurt?" said Blaine.

Kurt looked down, but returned his gaze once again in question. He must have look close to terrified as Blaine reached for his second hand, which rested alongside his untouched coco.

"What's wrong?"

Kurt licked his lips. "I was just thinking about..." How much I love you, and that I hope you love me too. "I was just thinking about McKinely."

Blaine's eyes softened at his words, his grasp on Kurt tightening. "Do you want to talk about it?"

No, I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about how much I love you. He sighed and smiled loosely, returning a squeeze of his own for reassurance. "It's alright. History class has just kept me up and haven't slept properly. You know me; my thoughts get the best of me when I haven't slept."

No, Blaine didn't know that, but made sure he wouldn't forget.

"Yeah?"

Kurt nodded and smiled again. "Yeah."

Blaine's grin returned. Without even hesitating, he reached over across the table, careful to not knock over anything – he's done this before, Kurt remembered – and kissed him gently.

Pulling back, he opened his eyes and said, "Does that make you feel better?"

Kurt looked scandalized and ridiculously pleased. He quickly glanced to his left and right, spotting the old couple outside laughing sweetly at them before he blushed. "Yes..." he whispered.

A chuckle nearly left Blaine. "Come on," he said, suddenly getting up from his seat. He tugged at Kurt's hands. "Let's head over to Rachel's for a while. You said she had a Katy Perry CD you wanted to borrow."

"But the cheesecake..."

"I paid for it. I don't mind."

Kurt nodded, a little speechless and a little embarrassed. "Alright."

God, I love you.

Author's Notes:

As always reviews, concritc, suggestions for other one-shots are welcome. I'm sorry for any mistakes that my poor editing skills didn't pick up on, but live and learn right? :P

Until next time, Gleeks! :D