Some Comfort

The heart wrenching sobs that shook my body were nothing compared to the hole forming in my chest. For so long, I had believed that I was going to be a father, and all of a sudden, it had been taken away from me. I felt as if I'd lost my own daughter. It felt as if she were dead. And there was no one I could turn to, anymore. No one to talk with about the loss I was feeling, the hurt, the anger; all the emotions that had boiling up inside me before and during Sectionals was overflowing, here and now, on the cold, wet bleachers. Mr. Shuster's car was in the parking lot, just barely visible from my high vantage point, even through the fogginess of the evening.

It didn't even feel like we'd won, really. I mean, I felt so utterly broken and exposed that it didn't even feel like we'd won the damn thing. But we had, because of me, while my life was crashing down around my shoulders.

Life really is a bitch.

The sound of footsteps, light and soft, made my heart race. I didn't bother looking up. I had a feeling it was Rachel, coming to apologise, or maybe just hold me in my misery. I didn't want her to. I felt this irrational anger toward her, even though she had been the one to tell me the truth; I couldn't look at any of them right now. Not Quinn, not Puck, not Rachel; I wanted to be alone in my mourning. I was mourning the loss of my child, my Drizzle, and there was nothing that could be said to stop me from doing that.

The footsteps stopped not far from me, sitting on the highest row of bleachers, and I waited with baited breath for Rachel to say something. But my heartbeat thudding in my ears and the gentle dripping of rain hitting metal were the sounds to be heard. I felt a very small person sit beside me, and a tiny hand touch my shoulder. I knew then that it wasn't Rachel. She is much more vocal in her comforting.

I lifted my head from where it had been resting against my knees, turning to the person beside me. I would have made some kind of sound of surprise if I hadn't been occupied by crying my eyes out. The fact that Kurt Hummel, the biggest diva in Glee, was sitting in the rain beside me, letting his hair get ruined and his clothes get wet, was absolutely astonishing.

We sat together for a while, not saying anything, because there was nothing to say. Kurt rubbed small circles on my shoulder as the rain washed away my tears, and there was something comforting in that. Eventually, when I was basically cried out, I put my arms around him instinctively. Kurt stiffened in my arms, seemingly frightened, at first. But then he relaxed and hugged me back, his thin arms wrapping around my waist and giving me a quick squeeze.

It was while I held him like that, another guy in my arms, that I realised it was Kurt who had come looking for me. Not Rachel, not Quinn, not Puck— just Kurt. I knew he had a thing for me, the whole call me thing during "Lean on me" was a dead give away, and so was the ballad that he wanted to sing for me. And, of course, those puppy-eyed looks he shot me when I thought I wouldn't notice. He wasn't exactly subtle about it. But still, I felt some comfort in the fact that it was him who had come here.

I let him go, my mind reeling at the sudden realization: we were sitting here, not a soul but us in sight, and I felt cared for, for the first time in too long. The only one who had cared about me enough to see if I was okay was Kurt.

Kurt had slushied himself for my sake. I had a feeling that no one else— not even Rachel— would have done that for me. Kurt had always been the loyal one, the one who had never looked down on me or pitied me, the one who had always been there for me, even now.

I wasn't gay. I'd never be gay. But, as Kurt gave me a small smile that said he understood, I wished, for a second that I could be. I wished that I could be everything he wanted, because I never wanted to let him go— he was the only thing I had left.

A/N: Glee tonight! I am totally freaking out! Finally! -fangirl squee-
PS: I don't actually ship Finn/Kurt, but I had this idea, and it seemed plausible. I think that Finn does love Kurt, in an extremely platonic way. It's so sad, that Kurt's feelings for him will never be reciprocated. But I just don't see Finn ever switching teams, and it kind of bothers me when he does it so readily in other fanfictions.