by Xir(bot)
Summary: Eeee...parody of "I, Robot". Purple and some crazy chick named Lurk (who is not me) must stop a sirbot rebellion of DOOM! led by none other than Gir. Moo!
Author's Notes: Yes, I know the first chapter kind of sucks, and no, I don't know why I'll be replacing Red with some crazy chick. It's probably because I have a thing for Purple. Eh--Delicious! Delicious! I'M NORMAL!
Disclaimer: Madonna.
And now...the boring beginning that explains stuff.
Do do do do do...
"A sirbot may not injure an Irken or, through inaction, allow an Irken to come to harm."
Mm hm!
"A sirbot must obey orders given it by Irkens except where such orders would conflict with the first law."
Okey-dokey!
"A sirbot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law."
YAY!
"You have that, GIR?"
Nuh-uh!
"Good...heh heh...let's send him to Zim!"
It was the year...oh I dunno...4035 or something...and it was the greatest day on the Massive since the last Vortain was enslaved.
In a teeny little lab, a blue-eyed robot was sitting in a chair before a magenta table. A few guards stood around the door, and Tallest Purple stood across from the sirbot, holding a book and a box of sh-nacks.
"Murder's a new trick for a robot."
Gir was busy pouting like a teenage girl who'd just been yelled at for talking back. What?
"Respond," Purple, doughnut in mouth, commanded. He wordlessly put the book down on the table, turned to a picture of a lifeless Invader Zim that said "Zim is dumb" on it.
Gir giggled. "MASTER! I likeses you!"
Purple's eye twitched. "Respond, you thermos!"
Gir looked up. After a look that someone who didn't know him would think contemptuous, he smiled. "Hey, purple-eye guy! You knows what this means?" Gir winked.
"Uh..." Purple watched through wide eyes as the sir continued to blink and giggle wildly. "Hey! Isn't that something Zim said those humans do?"
"Oooh yeeeah..." Gir said as if he was remembering where he left the last piece of a HORRIBLE puzzle. "That somethin' the humans used ta do...Zim taught me that toooo."
"Of course," Purple said oddly, floating over to the chair across from the idiotic robot. "By the way...why'd you murder him?"
"Me didn't murder Zim!"
"Then why were you hiding?"
"'Cause me was scared...me not want them to hurt Zim...AW! Couch..." Gir's eyes filled with tears, which was weird 'cause he was a robot and all...
"Yeah?" Purple was eating nachos now. "According to my technicians here, robots don't feel fear! Can you imagine...?"
"I does! I even has dreams! Couuuch!"
"...Kay... Besides, I think you murdered him because he was annoying. And for that, you should be...I dunno...rewarded or something."
"YAAAY! Wait...me didn't murder Master!"
"...I mean, even SKOODGE isn't as annoying as he is..."
"Me didn't murder Master..."
"...Irk knows even SNEAKYONFOOTA can't be that annoying..."
"I DID NOT MURDER HIM!" Gir shouted. This was followed by a HIDEOUS amount of giggling.
There was a pause. "...As I was saying..." continued Purple, narrowing one eye analatically. "We're glad he's dead. We're even throwing a party. Wanna come?"
"Okey-dokey!" said Gir, suddenly compelled to act like a squirrel.
"...Wait a minute...that was anger. How do YOU know about anger? THERMOS!"
"My name's is Gir! MONKEY!" said Gir.
Woo...now my air conditioning isn't working...and everyone knows I CAN'T WORK WITHOUT AN AIR CONDITIONER! Meep. Anyway...I'll be updating this unless of course I can't find it, or, I forget. I'M GONNA GO MAKE WAFFLES!