I stared out of my bedroom window, clouds filling up the sky, covering the town with an eerie shadow. A chilling wind spread through every crevice, leaving my bones shaking. The street was quiet. The children that usually spent their afternoon playing baseball on the house next door's lawn weren't there, giving me a sense of unfamiliarity. I watched their games, keeping score, and rooting secretly for the team that I wanted to win. They played, rain, sleet, snow or hail. Nothing stopped them. So why today, on a cool cloudy day they aren't playing, I can't guess.
I ran my finger over the jagged needle, sending a trickle of blood running down my skin. My mother wanted me to sew for the longest time, always laying out a sewing kit on my bed whenever I got home from school, or anywhere. But no matter how many times I attempted it, I ended up with a mass of multicolored fabric, and blood. I watched as the blood trickled down my palm, and stopped at my wrist. I rubbed the warm liquid around, until I felt it turning dry.
Just then, the curtain fluttered about, stretching its carefully woven fabric toward me, as it rippled in the breeze. The clouds swelled, and turned a dark grey color, until finally, rain started to come down in gallons. I pushed the window closed, as I heard the pitter-patter of rain drops pour down onto our cape house. But as I saw the rain, and clouds, and the street, I thought about him. Eli. That painful look across his face as I pulled from his grasp, and the cut on his forehead, and that one tear escaping his eye. And I'll never forget that night, when I went home, I couldn't close my eyes without seeing his face.
And finally, months later, when I thought I could maybe finally get to sleep, when I was with Jake, that look came into my mind. It scared me to death. And then, a week later, Jake broke up with me. At first I was a wreck. Laying all night on my bed in a fetal position, being careful not to let the strangled cries come out of my throat as I sobbed into my pillow. And now, my feelings are hard to manage. I'm still trying to tell if I really loved Jake, or if it was all an illusion. And no matter how many times I tried to convince myself, Clare Edwards, that I truly had something beautiful with Jake Martin, something told me I never did.