There has to be a reason for keeping her around

Three, two, one…and there we go again. Dira dodges the poisoned spikes quickly, already prepared. She has seen the pressure plate from miles away. But she also knows that dear Lydia, bane of her existence, will inevitably step on it. It's like she can't help it; as if she is being drawn to it by some mystical power. Maybe she is – you never know in Skyrim.

Standing on top of the snow-covered mountain, surrounded by ice wraiths, Dira thinks about hiring someone competent to assist her in her travels, someone who is there when needed. Maybe that fiery Uthgerd from the Bannered Mare…Two minutes later, still standing there, surrounded by glowing piles of ice, she watches Lydia running up the hill towards her and just sighs…

Almost through…just one more tunnel and they should be out of this godforsaken cave. Only two more vampires between them and Skyrim's open plains – no problem. Not bothering with sneaking, Dira just goes directly at them, slashing left and right, wanting to get it over with quickly. And then, suddenly, fireballs start crashing around her ears. For one moment she wonders if she missed something, a secret entrance, a hole in the wall, anything. But a quick look back confirms her suspicions: Lydia has found a staff of fireballs somewhere – and is using it without the slightest care for whom she hits. After finishing the more resilient of the two vampires, Dira, still burning, marches over and wrests the staff out of Lydia's hands.

'Give me that!'

Marching away, she still hears Lydia's answer:

'I am sworn to carry your burdens.'

Yeah right…

Closing the chest, Dira turns around to exit the small room the bandits had stashed their loot in. But of course, Lydia, guarding the door, does not register that her Thane has plans to leave and just keeps on blocking the doorway.

'Lydia, move, we have places to be, bandits to slay…'

When she doesn't move, Dira tries to muscle her way out of the room, shoving forcefully at her Housecarl. But the only reward she earns for her effort is an enraged 'Ouh' from Lydia. Taking a step back, Dira sees the bandits closing in …and just waits.

Three Falmer ahead…Dira calculates quickly – take one out with the bow, wait till the other two have separated in their search for the intruder and then just sneak up behind them…

'I will kill you if I have to!'

So much for her great plans… She charges in behind Lydia, trying to keep the heat off of her as good as she can. Which is not as simple as it sounds when your comrade steps between you and your opponent while your sword is already descending. And then she has the guts to complain about being hit. Sometimes, Dira wonders why she keeps up with all of this…

But truth be told, Dira knows exactly why she keeps Lydia around. Coming out of a dungeon, covered in dust, blood and sweat, adrenalin pumping through her veins, there is just nothing better than pulling of both of their helmets and working of some of that left over energy on each other. And when she lies on her back, feeling the harsh winds of the North blowing over her bare chest, perking up her nipples, with Lydia sucking and lapping furiously between her legs, the perks of having her Housecarl with her on her travels suddenly seem crystal clear. And Lydia's moans and whimpers when she's writhing under her, screaming out her orgasm with Dira's fingers deep inside of her, more than make up for every annoying 'Ouh' and 'Watch where you're going' she has to endure on a daily basis.

Afterwards, lying sated in the grass of one of Skyrim's many plains, more often than not, one of Lydia's favourite sayings sneaks its way into Dira's mind.

'Whatever you need my Thane'

And at the end of the day, Lydia always keeps her promise.

Epilogue

Gathering her clothing, Lydia glances over to the Falmer nest escape tunnel the two of them exited half an hour ago.

'Oh, look, a cave! I wonder what's inside.'

Dira covers her smile, and her sigh, by putting on her helmet.

'Let's go, we have a bounty to collect.'

'Lead on!'