This is the first fic I'm publishing here, so I hope you like it~ I got the idea when I was with my fellow Homestuck at Disneyland, oddly enough... but we live right next to MM, so it's pretty normal to talk about it I guess? I'm going to shut my face now and let you read :x

== Be the excited teenaged boy.

Your name is John Egbert, and you are an excited teenaged boy. That's because you are in California with your three best friends in the whole world, and you are all staying in a hotel room together right smack dab next to Magic Mountain, where you are headed to today. You all came to the agreement that you are comfortable enough around each other to all share one room together, instead of getting one for you and Dave, and another for Rose and Jade. Of course, you split the beds that way, leaving you, up early, to stare at the sleeping blond boy next to you with an eager grin on your face as you wait for him to wake up. He's just as emotionless in his sleep as he is during the day, and just as cool too. He insisted the night before that he did not need to take his sunglasses off, and he hasn't moved an inch since falling asleep, leaving them sitting on his face, not even crooked in the least. Finally you just can't take it anymore, and nudge him, hoping he's a light enough sleeper that you won't have to do much else. He shifts, but you can't tell if he opens his eyes or not behind the shades until he smirks and sits up a little.

"Hey Egbert," he mumbles.

"What." You pout. "No ironic morning greeting?"

"I'm not a morning person. Mornings are like the bane of my existence. If you gave me the option between fighting an anaconda and getting up in the morning, I'd pick the anaconda. If I had to get up early to fight the anaconda, I'd still pick that, because at least then I can do something badass early in the day and fill my quota before promptly going back to sleep."

"Uh…"

"So no, Egbert, no ironic morning greeting."

"Man, you're off your game. You shouldn't have stayed up so late last night."

"Why are you even awake already?" He tilts his head up to glance at the clock and groans softly, burying his face in the pillows. "It's not even eight o'clock, and it's Saturday."

"Do you ever take those glasses off, Dave?"

"No. Go back to sleep."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered and all that you put my present to use at least. But jeez, what a hipster."

"Not a hipster. Go to sleep."

"You keep them on at night. You're one of those stupid douche guys that wear their sunglasses when it's too dark to see even with them off."

"Egbert."

"And you're not a hipster?"

"Egbert."

"You brought an old fashioned camera."

"Goddammit Egbert, go to fucking sleep." He lifts his head enough to pull the pillow from beneath it and smacks you in the face. You grab it and hit him back, but his face is in the pillows and your attack is completely ineffective. Plus, then you get hit with another pillow on the other side, and you turn to see that Jade is also wide awake and grinning, and Rose is waking up gracefully beside her, rubbing at her eyes lightly.

"Dave won't get up," you complain.

"There could be several reasons for that," Rose answers sleepily, hair mussed slightly without its typical headband in it. "including depression, insomnia, pressure facing reality—"

"God, Lalonde, I'm a normal sixteen-year-old. Dislike of getting up in the morning is the same for nearly everyone, except apparently you three."

"It's nearing eight."

"I'm still a time zone or two ahead," Jade says with a sheepish smile, "I fell asleep early; I've been awake for a while…"

"We can't all live in the middle of the ocean, Harley," Dave speaks into the pillow.

"May I remind you, Strider, that as far as time zones go, you're better off than I am, and I'm already up."

You watch the conversation unfold and start to feel a little bad for your friends, because, living in Washington, you didn't have to change zones. You just got on an airplane and headed straight south to Valencia. Or rather, to LA, then north to Valencia.

You take an immensely short time to get ready, essentially rolling out of bed and just changing into your regular clothes, in the closet for the sake of the girls (queue the gay remarks from Dave). Jade and Rose are ready around the same time after you, and somehow the three of you manage to get Dave out of bed. He changes without entering the bathroom, like the girls had, or even the closet, like you had.

"You guys can stare at my hot bod if you want."

"He said ironically?" you question.

"Fuck no," he answers, "I am fucking sexy in the most unironic way possible."

"Yes Dave," you say with a laugh as you put your shoes on, "You are such a sexy beast."

"Shut it Egbert."