Something You Miss
I'm still shook up inside, sitting in the middle of the floor with a devastated heart. It was as if I was bleeding out every ounce of emotion in clots upon his big flannel shirt I was wearing, and yet he had no idea how bad I missed him and why I was so miserable. Dean Winchester may have been a complete stranger, walking into my life unexpectedly and then swoops down like Superman in a black '67 Chevy Impala with his brother Sam by his side, but there was something about him that made me feel alive.
Now I'm here feeling dead as he is far, far away, most likely on a back country road doing whatever it is he did- fighting paranormal creatures? Yeah, I thought it was insane at first too, but when Dean and Sam saved me from being a werewolf's dinner, killing the creature without hesitation I knew that it was true; there really was a supernatural world out there and these boys weren't psychotic liars; they were heroes. Maybe not to others, but they sure were to me. I think that's what made me fall for Dean even more. I already had a knack for his arrogant sense of humor and his matching grin, but the fact that he saved people too- it was remarkable.
At first I thought he was just another man trying to get me in bed with him. I mean what kind of man doesn't ever have sex on his mind? Needless to say, he did have that cocky side of him that turned me on, and then one thing led to another. Either way that was another story and itself, I judged him because I thought he was a crazy asshole that didn't care about me but all he was endeavoring to do was protect me from evil. Sounds a bit corny, but it was the truth.
Soft, saline tears began to sting my distressing eyes as pictures started to reel in my mind like a presentation, taking me back to when Dean held me close to his torso with his big, strong arms wrapped around my slim waist; his green eyes staring down into my blue ones, smiling just enough to make everything in the room fade away. It was that one moment where I never wanted to let go or to just pause and replay it every three minutes. His lips tenderly connected with mine, deeply composing the moment into something more passionate and everlasting. I never imagined we'd up like this- this being our last kiss. Why did you have to go?
The rain was pounding against the open glass window, mocking my emotions kindly as the images continued to flash by. Whenever I'd ramble on about how ridiculous the whole hunting the supernatural craze was way out of proportion and how it wasn't even slightly possible, Dean would kiss me in the middle of my gibberish. As much as I wanted to tell him how ignorant that was, I didn't care. Feeling his large, soft lips collide with mine made a smile form upon my face. Of course, I wasn't going to let that distract me and he knew that too well, but like he always told me:
"Not everything is what it seems."
And he was right too. I was always judging people on anything that would make them seem a little 'off their rocker.' A part of me believed that he was too adorable to be that kind of weirdo, but these days you could never be too careful. That's why I took caution, though Dean however showed me in some strange way of his that he wasn't here to impress me, he was here to do his job. I wasn't sure whether to take that in a good reaction or not. Was I just a part of his job- save me from these werewolves and any other mythical creature known to man?
I started to get angry with him, not caring if he was attempting to get me to calm down or not. It was in my nature to point out certain objects that turned my thoughts on overdrive, wondering if he really cared about me or I was just another case- another girl in a lonely world that needed to be swept off her feet by immorality. It only sounded crazy, but I had to wonder.
Dean and I shared a lot those five days he was in my home town, coming to my doorstep with the usual smug smirk across his face when I opened the door. The way he breezed passed his brother as he entered my house, hands in his pockets. They were disguising themselves as FBI agents, so they could ask me a million questions about the bizarre occurrences throughout the neighborhood without it being awkward. It took me a couple greetings before I confronted them that they weren't who they claimed to be. You would have thought that by them lying to me that it would be a major turn-off, but like I said- Dean was an attractive man. Just one word that rolled off his tongue made everything honey again.
Every day since was like clockwork; research and ask more questions. I barely had time to get to know Dean. Somehow we managed to hit it off one night and everything was almost perfect. Once day five came around, their job was done and being mad at him for at least twenty-four hours was definitely a huge mistake. I wish he could have stayed because after he had pulled me in close to him for that last kiss, I couldn't help but feel guilty and ashamed of myself. I had closed the front door behind them after they said their goodbyes, sliding my back against the door until I crashed to the floor; tears flowed down my cheeks like a raging river ready to break the levee. Regret of being angry over my foolish thoughts; it was twenty-four hours less I could have been sleeping in his arms.
Your name: Dean Winchester, forever the name on my lips... that's all I have left you anymore, except for this tear-stained flannel. I will love you for all eternity, whether you still think about me or not. I hope the weather is better than what I have before me, so maybe you'll remember what we had once shared together. I never planned on changing your mind, but maybe someday I'll cross your mind and be something you miss.