Feels Like Tonight

Lilly stood on the beach, staring out at the ocean with her hands clasped behind her back. She found herself coming here more and more often in the past couple weeks. Maybe it was the stars twinkling down at her from the sky, or the sound of the waves as they pounded the beach, or the light from the moon reflecting off the surface of the water, or the huge vastness of the sea in front of her, or the fact that she felt completely and totally alone. Or maybe it was the fact that if she turned around, she could look directly into Miley's room through her balcony doors.

Closing her eyes, Lilly sat down on the sand, digging her fingers into the ground and feeling the moistness between her fingers. It had been getting harder and harder for her to think, to speak, to act normally around Miley lately. She didn't know why, but whenever she was around her brunette best friend, her heart started beating faster, her hands got really sweaty, she got really nervous, and she tended to fall down a whole lot more. Miley didn't seem to notice, except for when she fell down, but she was getting some weird looks from everyone else. Oliver, Jackson, Sarah, even Liam (her brother), her mom, and Mr. Stewart.

"You know, Miley is wondering where you are."

She turned, her heart almost leaping out of her chest, to see her brother standing behind her, his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he stared out at the water. He glanced down at her and gave her a smile before looking back out at the horizon.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," Lilly gasped, clapping her hands together to get the sand off them. "And how do you know that Miley is wondering where I am?"

"You forgot your cell phone at home and it wouldn't stop ringing," Liam answered, stepping forward and pulling her cell phone out of his pocket. Lilly reached out and took it, flipping it open to see that Miley had called thirteen times in the past hour and a half and had sent her over twenty text messages.

"So why're you spending so much time out here without Miley?" Liam asked nonchalantly, sitting down next to Lilly. He stretched out his legs in front of him and leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. "I mean, her house is only a couple hundred yards away and you guys are practically tied together by the hip."

Lilly glanced over at Liam and, seeing that he wasn't trying to mess around with her, decided that she would answer him honestly. "I don't know," she murmured. "I just… need some time to myself to think things over."

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Ask who what?" Lilly asked.

Liam laughed. "Lilly, I'm not stupid," he said, lying all the way back and crossing his arms behind his head. "I've seen you around Miley. I think I'm the only one who's seen it for what it is, but other people have seen something there, as well. You act different when you're around her. Just go ahead and tell her that you like her."

"She knows I like her," Lilly said automatically, her heart starting to beat faster. "We're best friends."

He stopped laughing and sat up, looking at her seriously. "Come on, Lilly, you know what I'm talking about," he murmured seriously. "Don't torture yourself like this. No one is going to hate you for this. I know Mom won't, and Miley won't because, as you said, she's your best friend. Sure, things might be a little awkward at first if she doesn't end up liking you back, but you guys'll get over it just like you get over everything else."

"It's really none of your business," Lilly snapped, looking away.

They were both quiet, listening to the sounds of the night. Lilly heard footsteps and turned to see a figure walking towards them from the direction of Miley's house. Liam stood up, bending over to whisper in her ear, "Tell her," before walking away. A minute later, Lilly saw that it was Miley walking towards her.

"You didn't answer your phone," the brunette said accusingly, stopping a few feet away from Lilly and crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been trying to contact you for the past hour and a half."

"I'm sorry," Lilly murmured, her voice sincere. "I forgot my phone at home and Liam only just brought it to me about fifteen minutes ago."

Miley sighed, sitting down next to her. "Lilly, what's been going on with you?" she asked. "You… you've been acting… weird lately. Is it something I've done? I've been trying to figure out what I did wrong but I just can't think of anything…."

"No, Miley, nothing's wrong," Lilly assured her with a small smile.

"Are you sure?" Miley asked doubtfully.

"Positive."

They were both quiet, standing side by side, shoulders touching, as they stared out at the ocean. Miley leaned her head on Lilly's shoulder and the blonde stiffened considerably, instantly regretting it when Miley lifted her head again and shuffled sideways a few steps.

"Lilly?"

"Yeah?"

"Are… are we growing apart?"

The blonde looked over at her best friend, seeing that the brunette had tears running down her face. She sighed and stepped closer, taking Miley's face between her hands and gently wiping away the tears with her thumbs. Her fingers splayed across Miley's cheeks, she pressed their foreheads together, closing her eyes before reopening them. She pulled back, rubbed their noses together, and dropped her hands from Miley's face to clasp the brunette's hands together tightly.

"Miley, there is nothing, nothing, that could tear us apart," she murmured. "I will always be here for you, no matter what happens. Okay? You never have to worry about that. I've told you that a million times before and I've always meant it and I always will."

"But… whenever you're around me, you always… pull yourself away and distance yourself," Miley whimpered. "And I feel like… like you don't want to be around me as much anymore. Like… I don't know how long you've been here on the beach, and usually you would call me and ask me to come with you, but you forgot to even bring you phone with you. Please, Lilly, if you have a problem with something I'm doing or something I've done, tell me. I would rather that you tell me now than me having to find out myself later."

Lilly looked at her desperately. "No, Miley, you have done nothing wrong. You never do. You're perfect, okay? And maybe… maybe I… it's hard for me, looking at you and realizing that… maybe… maybe I want a piece of that perfection."

"What are you talking about?" Miley asked, confused.

The blonde let go of Miley's hands, running her right hand through her hand as she looked up at the sky. "When I was little, before you moved here, I was convinced that I would never get married and I would end up traveling all around the world by myself. I didn't have any hope of ever meeting someone that I would fall in love with and get married to.

"But once you moved here, something inside me… woke up. I started chasing after boys." She smiled, nudging Miley gently in the side with her elbow. "But something was all wrong. None of them were right for me. I kept getting cheaters or guys who were too affectionate or who were too caught up in themselves. After I broke up with Oliver, who would have been the perfect guy for me except for the fact that I didn't love me the way he loved me, I realized that I had been chasing after the wrong thing. I was chasing after what everyone else wanted for me. I wasn't considering what I wanted, what I needed."

"But what does this have to do with me?" Miley asked, still confused.

"When you came into my life, everything was so… so perfect," Lilly told her. "While you may disagree with that, that's what I thought. You had the perfect family: a dad who cared about you, a brother who was annoying but protected you when you needed it, and… and a mother who would have never left you if she could have helped it."

Miley looked sad and Lilly put a gentle arm around her shoulders, pulling her close comfortingly.

"And I always thought that you got the most amazing guys, and I was so jealous of you," Lilly continued. "I tried to have the same thing as you. I went after the same guys as you did, but that only ended up getting the two of us into huge fights, so I backed off. I tried to mold my family into what you had, but my dad didn't want anything to do with me or my mom, and my brother rarely comes home anymore. I mean, yeah, he loves me, but it isn't the same kind of relationship you have with your brother. And while my mom loves me… it just isn't the same as your dad. Then, a couple months ago, I realized that I wasn't jealous of you. I was jealous of everyone else around you."

"Lilly, what the heck are you trying to say?"

The blonde looked directly into Miley's eyes. "We're coming up to the end of our senior year," she whispered. "And everything around us is changing. All of our friends are making plans to go to college and some are already starting to say their goodbyes. And I can't find my place in all this chaos. I turn my head or blink my eyes, and when I look back, everything has been swept away and it's all changed. Except for you. You're the only thing in this whole mess that hasn't changed in the last four years. You're the unchanging pillar in my life, the lighthouse that keeps me out at sea, away from the rocks that could destroy my life. And I've finally, finally, recognized that. I'm just hoping that I don't mess this up."

"Lilly…?"

"Miley, please, just… let me finish," Lilly begged, her eyes pleading. The brunette nodded after a moment. "Miles, I… over the past eight years, we've grown so close together that we instinctively know if something is different with the other. And that is so, so rare. I treasure our friendship above anything and everything else in the entire world. But over the past couple months, I've come to see that… that there could be something more between us. And that I would particularly mind if there was something more."

"Lilly, what are you saying?" Miley asked.

Swallowing, Lilly gathered up the courage to speak the words that she had been longing to for the longest time. "I'm saying that I've fallen head-over-heels in love with you, Miley. I love you."

"You… you love me?" Miley asked uncertainly. "Like… like love love me?"

"Yeah," Lilly whispered.

Miley was quiet and Lilly felt her heart beating faster and faster, her throat and mouth dry up, her stomach start to churn, and her sight start to blur. For once, she couldn't tell what her best friend was feeling or thinking, and that was scaring her.

"Lilly, I… I need some time with this," Miley whispered. "I honestly wasn't expecting this. It isn't bad, and I'm not saying anything by this. I just… I need time."

"Okay," Lilly said, nodding slowly. "How… how much time?"

"I'll come to you, okay?" Miley asked.

Lilly continued to nod. "Okay…."

Miley gave her a small smile before turning and slowly walking away, her hands in her pockets. Lilly watched her wistfully before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

"I thought tonight was the night."

Lilly sat out on her back deck, staring out at the beach and the ocean. Three weeks had passed since she had told Miley that she loved her as more than a friend and that hadn't spent nearly as much time with each as they had before. They spent all of their time in school together, but afterwards, Miley was always practicing for Hannah concerts and made the excuse that she didn't want Lilly wasting her time sitting around and listening to her sing.

"It wouldn't be a waste of my time," Lilly murmured to herself.

"What was that?"

She turned to see Liam standing behind her and she just shook her head. "Nothing," she murmured.

"Miley's gonna see reason."

"And how do you know that?" Lilly snapped, standing abruptly and turning to face her surprised brother. "This is all your fault, you know. I was perfectly fine keeping these feelings to myself, but you had to go ahead and tell me that I should tell Miley, and that's completely ruined my friendship with her. Now we barely ever hang out outside of school. This is all your fault!"

"Lilly…."

"No, don't you try to explain yourself away," Lilly yelled, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you dare! You intruded on something that wasn't any of your business and you completely ruined it, like you always do! I wanted to do this by myself, and I knew exactly what I was going to do, but you made me think that she would be perfectly fine with it and maybe she would even love me back, but she doesn't. And now you've ruined it like you've ruined our family!"

"I did not ruin our family!" Liam yelled back. "You know that! We talked about this when Mom and Dad got the divorce! It was nobody's fault! And don't you dare try to blame your relationship problems with Miley on me! I was just trying to help!"

"Well I never wanted help!" Lilly screamed. Suddenly she was swinging her fist at his face and everything happened in a blur. Her mom was there, holding her around the waist and pulling her back as Liam swore at her and held a hand to his face. Something red and hot was on Lilly's hand and she realized that blood was leaking down Liam's face and through his cupped fingers.

"Lilly, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I can't freaking believe you did that!"

"What's gotten into you?"

Mr. Stewart and Jackson were there, both standing by Liam trying to help him.

"Lilly, honey, this isn't the way to handle situations."

"Come on, Lilly, you know you aren't supposed to punch people."

And then Lilly suddenly noticed the brunette standing in the doorway, staring at her with a shocked expression on her face. Tears prickled in her eyes and she pulled away from her mom roughly, shaking her head. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this," she whispered, turning on her heel and running for the edge of the deck. She jumped over the wooden divider and landed hard on the ground, sand spraying up around her.

"Lilly! Lilly!"

She ignored the sweet angel's voice calling after her and pumped her arms as she started to run across the sand. It was harder than running on pavement; her bare feet kept sinking into the sand, preventing her from running as fast as she normally would, but her anger, sorrow, and embarrassment fueled her store of nearly endless energy and she surged forward, away from her house, from her family, from her best friend, and towards the unknown.

The sun was sinking lower and lower in the sky when she came to the part of the beach where the sand turned to shale and began to climb steeply to the overlook that was hidden to almost everyone except for those who were brave enough to climb the sheer drop-off. Lilly had done it multiple times and she reached up, grabbing a protruding rock with her right and starting to pull herself up.

Lilly stared down at her hands, which were covered with blood. She had never tried climbing the overlook without gloves, and her hands showed why. Her feet were just as bad as her hands, if not worse, because she hadn't been wearing shoes, and there was no way down except for the way she had come. She sat down on the edge of the overlook, continuing to stare down at her blood-covered hands.

The whine of a motor interrupts the peace of the ocean sounds and Lilly looked over the edge of the overlook to see someone below her dismounting a four-wheeler. The person took her helmet off and she her long, brown curls out, making Lilly's mouth go dry when she realized the person standing below her was Miley.

"Hey, Lilly, are you up there?" the brunette called out, looking up and shielding her eyes with her hand.

"Y-yes," the blonde answered tentatively.

"Come on down, Lilly. Everyone is worried about you."

"I… I can't," Lilly yelled back. "I can't come down."

"How did you get up there?"

"I climbed."

"Can you climb back down here?"

Lilly shook her head.

"For me?" Miley asked.

The blonde hesitated. "I guess."

"You can do it, Lilly; I know you can."

Biting her bottom lip nervously, Lilly slowly turned around and reached with her left foot to find some hold on the rock wall. Slowly, she lowered herself down, finding more footholds and handholds as she gradually made her way down the wall to the shale beach below. Finally, gentle hands touched her back, helping her complete the last few feet before her feet finally touched the ground.

"Thank God, Lilly, I thought… God, I thought I was going to lose you," Miley whispered, pulling Lilly into her arms and hugging her tightly.

"L-lose me?"

"I thought, when I saw you sitting on the edge of the overlook, that maybe you were going to… I can't even put it into words. I'm just so happy that you're here."

"Miley, it hurts."

The brunette pulled back, taking Lilly's hands into her own and gently running her fingers over them. "It's going to be okay," Miley whispered. She reached behind her, her fingers closing over the edge of her helmet, and she gently fitted it on Lilly's head. "Come on, I'm going to take you home, and we'll get you taken care of."

Miley helped Lilly up onto the seat of the four-wheeler and quickly mounted the seat in front of her. The brunette took Lilly's arms and wrapped them around her waist. "Hold on tight," she murmured.

Lilly closed her eyes, clasping her hands together tightly around Miley's middle as the brunette revved the engine of the four-wheeler and slowly turned the vehicle around before speeding down the beach towards her house.

Miley and Lilly were sitting side by side on the beach, Lilly's hands and feet wrapped in white bandages and Miley sitting cross-legged next to her, glancing over at the blonde every few seconds, a look of worry on her face.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Lilly sighed in exasperation. "For the fifth time in the last three minutes, yes. I don't know what was going through my head when I climbed up to the overlook with bare hands and feet, but the doctor said that I'm going to be fine as long as I keep off my feet as much as possible and try not to use my hands too much. Which means I practically can't do anything, but I guess I could survive on watching TV for a couple days."

They were both quiet.

"Lilly?"

"Yes, Miley?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Fine, but can I ask you another question?"

"You just…."

"Lilly."

"Okay, okay."

Miley sighed. "Why were you so mad at your brother?"

"Because he was being an idiot, as usual," Lilly stated simply.

"But you love your brother."

"Yeah, but don't you get mad at your brother?" Lilly asked, trying to rationalize.

"I don't punch him."

"Okay, fine, I was really mad at him and I punched him in the face and might have possibly broken his nose, it happens to the best of us," Lilly snapped. "I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay? He probably hates my guts now, anyways."

Once again, they were both quiet.

"I said that I'd think about it."

Miley didn't have to say what it was. Lilly knew, and she had been wondering about it since they had left from the hospital to come back to Miley's house. But she hadn't pushed Miley because… well, she didn't exactly know why. She just didn't. But now Miley was talking and she was going to listen.

"And I thought about it," Miley continued. "I don't love you, Lilly."

Lilly's heart sank, hit the ground, and shattered into a million tiny pieces.

"But I like you a lot. And I think that, if you gave me the chance, I could fall in love with you."

The blonde's breath caught in her throat and suddenly her heart was soaring off the ground into the sky. "Really?" she whispered.

Miley nodded and smiled. "Yeah," she answered quietly. "After all, as the saying goes, you end up marrying your best friend, don't you?"

Smiling, Lilly leaned her head on Miley's shoulder and she could feel the brunette smiling, as well. This was how it was supposed to be, sitting on the beach, watching the sunset with her best friend, who would quickly become more.

Yes, it definitely felt like tonight.

I decided that I'd finish this one-shot I've been working on for months and post it for you guys. I hope you liked it!

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