The air was fresh above the biting glow of New York City. The darkness was folded into small snippets and tucked beneath alleyways and corners to hide it from the beauty of the centre, but if you dared to travel farther out into the suburbs that scraped at the edge of the city, you would find a completely different world.

It was in this forgotten world that Leonardo waited and watched the artificial sunlight of the city out burn the stars above the humming glow. He sat atop a tall building, legs dangling over the side and swaying back and forth in a soothing motion as he leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes. He had no worries of being seen. The darkness shrouded him from the broken, overhanging chimney of the abandoned factory. Nobody would spot him in the shadows. Not unless they were looking, and why would they chance to look up at the degraded broken rafters of the dying building? There was no cause to it. No need. And therefore no purpose.

A faint smile tugged at his lips, honest and true, and he inhaled deep the scent of his old life as he attempted to drown out the memories that plagued him. Over the dim din sirens scuttled back to him and the screeching of tires became as common as the call of birds. He had missed it, he had to admit, but it frightened to think that if he was given a chance to go back to the jungle, to attempt to find what he had lost, that he would take it.

His smile slipped.

He couldn't take that chance. His last absence had almost ripped his family apart, and even if it was unintentional, the loss had struck him as almost odd and forbearing. Would he want to go back after everything that had happened? And if he did, and he was met with whispering trees and silent answers, could he live with it? Or was he better off not knowing?

Behind him there was a shift in the breeze and the sound of soft steps met him. The occupant was smooth and slick, but there was a slight deliberate scuff in the steps that had him knowing instantly who the occupant was without him needing to turn about. Keeping his eyes firmly closed, he shifted his weight to his left hand and rolled his aching shoulder back, wincing at the stiffness from sitting still for too long.

"Master Splinter send you out?"

His question was soft, and the scuff in the steps stopped. No longer attempting to keep his silence, the figure stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight. Amber eyes glanced up at the moon, wonder, confusion and bafflement lost for a split second under the fade of perplexed anger. And then amber eyes lowered, locked upon the blue bandanna trails floating out of the shadows to glide through the wind, and narrowed in soft suspicion.

"Yeah, somethin' like that." His voice was rough, and as Raphael stepped up to his brother he crouched down, his hands coming to pool over his thighs. He flicked a rock off and over the edge of the derelict building, watching it fall. Its crumbling echo stopped, and the awkwardness settled thick and heavy between them, the tension of repressed emotion bearing down on both their shoulders. "Not like you ta be out this late… normally me." His forced laughter died out when his brother failed to join in, and a frown slipped onto his face. "Listen, Leo-"

"You think I'm going to run off again…" Raph glanced to his brother. Leo's eyes were open again, the same sad smile held on his face as he stared up at the moon. "You think I'm going to go back to the jungle, right?"

"What? No! Leo, it ain't like that. Splinta' was just worried s'all."

"And he sent you out here to bring me home?" Leo shook his head, the smile fading; slipping; disappearing; gone. "Does Master Splinter really know you're out, Raph?"

The growl was from Raph's throat before he could register it. But he bit it back in an instant, looking back out and over the rooftops. Taking a deep breath, he attempted to overcome the barriers they had built up between them as brothers. They had both agreed that something had to give after the Winter's incident, and both had agreed to do their best to mend the broken bond. Neither knew just how difficult that would be. "I'm a big turtle, Leo. I can be out on my own, yanno?"

"I know." It was a small registration of acceptance to the rest of the world, but between them both, in that instant, it meant so much more. Trust was shown in those two small words, and their weight was worth more than any paragraph, phrase, or Oscar winning speech. Because it meant something. There was meaning hidden in the shallow depth of those words. A hesitant grudge settled in Leo's throat, but he swallowed it back, straightened up, and exhaled heavily. "Just…humour me, okay?"

"Humour you?"

"Mhmm. Just for tonight. Tomorrow I'll go back to chasing you around the streets of New York…but for tonight, humour me. Go home, Raph. I just want to be alone for a little while. I'll come home, I promise."

A light-hearted scoff was his answer. Leo flicked his eyes over to Raph, his gaze questioning as Raph chortled into his hand and shook his head slowly, his ripped red bandanna falling over his shoulders. "Ain't we all heard that before, Fearless? Do me a favour, if you're gonna make up bullshit at least wait 'til Mikey and Donny are about. I don't wanna be the one to tell 'em Fearless has gone soul searchin' again."

"You really don't trust me, do you?"

Raph shrugged, his laughter all but gone as he caught his brother's eyes. "Whaddya want me ta say, Leo? Honest and truthfully, ya think it's all just gonna go away? It's not that easy ta forget-"

"I never said I wanted to forget."

Silence settled. Impeccable, unwanted, frustrating silence. Raph's eyes squinted and he looked back out over the city, mirroring Leo's own actions as the two brothers searched the stars for an answer. But the stars mirrored the world, and silence crept into the city that never sleeps. Raph flexed his fists and Leo sighed. The wrong words had been said once more. They both knew it.

"So, ya mean…you wanted ta stay away that long? I thought you said-"

"I never said I wanted to stay away-"

"Ya just said, Leo!"

"I said," he placed extra emphasis on the words, yearning to get his point across and avoid a confrontation. He couldn't deal with it at the moment. "I don't want to forget. That doesn't mean that I don't feel bad for staying away for so long, Raph. I hated being away from you, from being away from my family, but…" he trailed off, standing and dusting his hands together. Shaking his head once more, he avoided his brother's interrogating stare. "Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"What doesn't matter, Leo?" Raph stood, his hands coming to fold across his chest as he felt the frustration rise up and hold him chest in a vice like grip. They had called a truce. They were supposed to be past forgiveness. They had both apologised, they had both accepted what had happened, so why was it still so hard? So heartbreakingly hard to the point where he wanted to shout and yell at his older brother for ever leaving and keeping them in the dark on the untold secrets of his journey. Even Master Splinter didn't know, and nothing and no-one was able to force Leo to crack. It had been months, and still silence was kept. Strangling them in a choke hold to the point where they were turning blue with annoyance and still, still, Leo refused to speak up.

Leo turned and began walking away. He knew the confrontation was coming; knew that his family were desperate for the answers he wasn't ready to give. But he had promised to protect them at any and all costs…If that meant secrets had to be kept, then he would take them to his grave before he spilled them.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me, Leo! Not a-bastard-gain! I've had enough of it! Of all the damn silence! I'm tired of tiptoeing around you like I'm stepping on broken glass!"

Leo stopped and let out a fragmented laugh. Broken glass; such a fitting metaphor. He waved Raph away, shouting back over his shoulder as he made his way through to the shadows of the buildings edge. "Go home, Raph. I'll be home soon. I promise."

Raph watched, his muscles tense and shaking with barely repressed rage as his brother faded into the shadows and left him alone atop the abandoned factory. Biting back a string of curses, he straightened up, his chest heaving against the cooling wind. Turning back around, he looked over the city with forlorn eyes before he pulled them away with a disgusted grunt. He loved New York City, but she was filled with more scum than the bottom of a fishing boat. She needed a good clean, and Raph felt ready to bust open the heads of as many nasty fermented pests as he could find.

Pulling out his cell, he flicked to a regular number and waited with as much patience as he could gather. The ringing tone echoed in his ear before finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting, Casey picked up.

"…'lo?"

"Casey? Wake up already, will ya? What ya doin' in bed this time a'night, anyway?"

"Raph…? Raph, that you?"

"No, it's the Tooth Fairy. Corse it's me, numbskull." The smile fell across his face and he laughed into the device.

"Raph, geeze, it's like, what?" There was the sound of shuffling before a sharp inhalation of breath like a shrill whistle forced Raph to pull the phone back slightly. "Three am! You're calling me at three am?! Why? Has somethin' happened, or-"

"Everythin's fine. Listen, you busy?"

"...Does sleeping count?"

"No."

"Then no. Why, what's up? Somethin' on your mind?"

Raph glanced back to where Leo had left. "No, just… can't sleep, you know?"

"Biggest bitch. 'Side's you wakin' me up. You're second biggest."

"Good to know."

"You're welcome, bro. So, meet you at mine in ten?"

"Sure."

"Right, see ya soon, then."

Raph closed the phone, tucking it back into his belt. Without faltering he headed out into the night between the shadows, so slick the moon itself couldn't catch him.

The lair was despondent and quiet, as it always was at five in the morning. Silence reverberated throughout, magnified by the hollow walls as a lone leaking drip dared to dwindle into the dim darkness. The thrum of the heater Donatello had just fixed earlier that day seemed to hum and hover like a merciless cocooning net of sound, adding to the comfort that was the background noise.

Stepping out of his room and sliding the door closed behind him, his footsteps so soft the trickle of water failed to hear them, Master Splinter stepped into the open space of their home. The lair was swamped by darkness, invading every crook and cranny, but there was one resilient torch that failed to be taken over by the cold; the TV. As it crackled and fuzzed, the black and white static followed by the low muted tune signalled the end of the TV station for the day casted its light over the couch and the vicinity around it. Popcorn littered the floor along with something sticky and purple that resembled jam and a bowl that was tipped over and moving ever so slightly.

Master Splinter stopped and cast his eyes over the bowl, listening to the faint noises that came beneath before Klunk stuck his head out from under the bowl, the satisfied look of a full belly coming to his face as he licked his lips. Smiling, Master Splinter watched as the small cat jumped up onto the couch and onto a snoring Michelangelo's plastron. His youngest son was sprawled out in a way that only Michelangelo could find comfortable. His head rested over the back of the arm, one foot trailed on the floor as the other remained curled up with one arm slung over his chest and the other lying amongst the discarded popcorn.

'I wonder what mid-morning horror Michelangelo has failed to finish watching tonight…'Master Splinter thought, shaking his head as he made his way over towards his son's rooms. The first room he passed was Michelangelo's, but seeing as his youngest was safely snoozing before the screen he felt no pressing urge to enter. The second room he came across was Donatello's and again it remained empty, however the soft snores that were uneven with Michelangelo's loud racketing snorts found his sensitive ears from across the other end of the lair where the lab waited and emitted a buzzing, artificial, yellow glow.

Shaking his head at his son's habits, he continued until he found himself coming to rest before a pair of doors; one red and one blue. Both were stationed opposite each other. And both were closed. Folding his ears back, he found a worrying thought settle heavily on his mind at the thought of the loss in both of his eldest sons. They were not home. He did not need to open their doors to see that. Letting out a heavy sigh, Splinter headed back the way he had come. Although both Raphael and Leonardo had attempted forgiveness and both had said the words, both still refused to heal. He had tried to make them see past their differences and understand, however Leonardo was still harbouring secrets of his travels, and Raphael was unwilling to forgive both his older brother for the abandonment he felt, and himself for the actions he performed.

Until they came to terms with that, Splinter feared all he could do was guide them. This was something they both had to see to themselves, and in time, he hoped, they would come to understand, forgive, and forget.

He walked back out into the living room and listened as Michelangelo mumbled incoherently, grabbed poor Kunk tightly, and buried his face into the cat's soft fur whilst gently rolling over. Repressing the urge to smile, Splinter turned and listened to the sound of the lair door opening and closing softly. His smile fell as he caught sight of Raphael attempting to sneak in, his stance wobbly from the intoxication of alcohol as he leaned heavily on one side, his hand holding onto the wall to help him hold his balance.

Fogged over amber eyes caught Splinter's stern twitching whiskers and Raph's shoulder's slumped forwards. He brought his free hand up to sloppily cover his face. "Oh cra-"

"Raphael, you have been outside despite my specific instruction not to leave the lair." Splinter's tone was even and faultless; he never had to raise his voice when scolding his children.

Raph hiccupped and shrugged, wobbling further into the lair. "Wha's the big deal? Leo's out." He swung his arm backwards to prove his point.

"Leonardo has also disobeyed me. However, I do not expect Leonardo to return intoxicated beyond his senses and unable to speak without dangerously teetering." Raph scoffed, but had the decency to look down in slight shame. "I will ensure I speak with Leonardo when he returns."

"Wha's goin' on…" Mikey slurred, lifting his head and still cuddling Klunk as he looked over to where Raph was wobbling. "You drunk, Raph?" His speech was slurred, one eye still closed with sleep as he slowly lowered his head and placed his arm over his tired eyes. "Nout new…"

"Shurrup, Mikey! S'not like you never done it, freakin' angel child."

Raphael's answer was a snort of laughter from the couch before Splinter let out a weary sigh. "Raphael, go to bed. Training will begin in a few hours, I expect you to be prepared with your brothers."

"Hai, Sensei…" Raph mumbled, his hand tracing the wall as he made his way around the old greying rat towards his room. He struggled with the stairs, fumbling and cursing slightly before he finally managed to clamber over the two illusive steps and make it to his room. He was too tired to attempt to show Splinter that he was growing up tonight. For the moment all he wanted was sleep. And that was exactly where he was headed.

Outside, atop another building farther away from the first, Leo looked over the harbour at the dawn that threatened to spill out over the water. He would have to leave soon, he knew it. His eyes stung from lack of sleep, his body and muscles ached for rest and he was sure he would be facing Master Splinter's scolding the moment he returned home. But it had almost, somehow been worth it. Almost.

Sighing, he rubbed at his arm absentmindedly, lost in his memories for the briefest of moments before he pulled himself back. Pulling back the braces that bound his wrists, he ripped the black and white pearl bracelet free. For a while he stared at it, turning the small worthless trinket that was abundant with memories over between his fingers. It wasn't his. It was hers. And he had promised he would return it to her…before everything changed and he ended up coming home. He had been gone far longer than he had thought…but it felt like mere seconds. They had both made a promise. And he had kept his. So why hadn't she?

He clenched it tight in his palm, holding it high above his head and prepared to throw it down to the streets below in a fit of crushing betrayal that grabbed at him and held him tight. But as he pulled his hand back and prepared to throw, he found himself unable to part with the small item. It was hers…and it was her memory. For a moment he struggled, wanting to let go but not knowing how, and eventually the sigh overtook him and he gave up instead. His hand relaxed around the small black and white beads, and he found himself tying it back against his wrist before he covered it with the bindings once more.

Exhaling heavily, he turned from the harbour and back towards his home, making his way back across the rooftops whilst avoiding the creeping golden glint of dawn. It was early, unbelievably early, and he had to get home before training started. He would deal with everything else afterwards. And tomorrow he would finally let go. Like he told himself every night. If he could have just one more night of hope and memories, he could all let it go tomorrow. But, as Master Splinter always told him, tomorrow never comes, and he found himself silently trapped.

Waiting for tomorrow.

Hope anyone who read enjoyed :)

R&R please!