I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. This is inspired by the conversations that go on in the girls locker room...
Girl 1: I'm fat...
Girl 2: If you're fat, I'm a cow.
Me: If you're a cow, I'm a blimp.
I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Good-year, or Duff.
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Blond hair fluttered down as it's owned sank into a cushion between two other bodies. She sighed. "I'm fat," she complained.
"If you're fat, I'm a cow," reddish hair countered.
"If you're a cow, then I'm a blimp," brunette hair added.
"You're not a blink, Anzu," the red-headed one sighed.
"Then, Shizuka, you are not a cow," the brown haired one, Anzu, countered.
"Then Mai isn't fat," the red-haired one, Shizuka smiled.
"Problem solved," Anzu chirped, and the two of them turned to the blond, Mai.
Mai sighed. "I am too fat. I'm having such a fat day today."
Anzu rose an eyebrow. "Fat day?" she questioned.
Her rhetorical question went unanswered.
"If you think you're so fat, then well ask my brother," proposed Shizuka, knowing full well that Jonouchi was madly in love with Mai.
"Fine, but I know that he'll tell me the truth. He'll say that I'm fat," Mai insisted, though they still got up, and left to wherever it was Jonouchi was.
"Jonouchi!" Shizuka called up to her brother, who was on a garage roof, nails between his teeth, hammer clutched in his right hand, banging away at the roof.
"What's he doing?" Mai asked.
"He promised Mom that he'd shingle the house today," Shizuka explained with a small smile.
"Uh-huh?" Jonouchi asked around the nails.
"Do you think we're fat?" Shizuka called up to him, above the clamor of his hammer.
"Yeah," he answered, not paying attention. "If you say so."
All three of the girls' eyes watered. "Do you really think that?" Anzu whimpered.
Jonouchi grinned widely, taking their looks as joyous disbelief, thinking he had done something right. "Of course," he proclaimed, hoping none of the realized that he had no idea what the question was.
Shizuka's large tinted eyes widened more still, and the tears began spilling over her long, black eyelashes.
She rand down the street, crying. Anzu and Mai glared at Jonouchi, then ran after Shizuka.
Jonouchi watched the three of the run off after her, the confusion evident in his eyes. "Was it something I said?"
"There, there," Anzu comforted her two friends, both of whom were feeling very depressed and fat. "Jonouchi can be stupid sometimes, don't feel bad."
Mai nodded, forcing a smile upon her lips. She'd never admit it, but she did have feelings, apparently unrequited ones, for the pup. "You're right. There's Yugi and Bakura," she pointed towards the two boys who were dueling, and exchanging death glares and threats not a block away. "Let's ask them."
Anzu brightened. She was a little unhappy with Jonouchi's answer, but the prospect of seeing Yugi brightened her day.
"Hell Yugi," Anzu greeted. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was the other Yugi.
Yami no Yugi grunted in greeting, obviously to engrossed in the duel to pay her anymore attention. Obvious to everyone, that is, except the girls.
"Do you think we're fat?" Anzu asked.
Yami no Yugi grinned widely as he sacrificed two of his monsters for the Black Magician and destroyed one of Bakura's stronger monsters.
"Yes!" He announced grandly as the pixels shimmed and disappeared.
All the girls eyes widened. If Yami no Yugi claimed they were fat, then that must mean they truly were.
Anzu turned to the smirking Bakura, deaf to Yami no Yugi's "You mean...?" and blind to the sadistic glint in his eyes and smile.
"Bakura, you don't agree with Yugi, do you?" Mai asked.
"Of course," Bakura grinned in reply to Yami no Yugi. Of course, since the girls hadn't heard Yami no Yugi's question...
"Assholes!" Anzu screeched, he voice crying, and the three of them stormed off.
Yami no Yugi and Bakura both jumped with a start at her voice.
"Anzu!" Yami no Yugi cried. "Wait!"
Instead of slowing, however, the girls sped up.
"What did you do to her?" Yami no Yugi hissed at the other spirit.
"Nothing," Bakura answered honestly. "You're the one who called her fat." Bakura smirked, then continued on his turn, to allow Yami no Yugi to ponder what he meant.
Shizuka let a small smile play across her lips, as she saw Otogi and his ever faithful entourage of cheerleaders walking down the street.
"Otogi!" Shizuka sang. Otogi smiled and walked up to her and her two companions.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Otogi, do you think we're fat?" Mai asked haughtily.
"Of course not," he smiled, and ran his hand down Shizuka's smooth face. She blushed slightly, and all three of their faces lit up.
"Otogi?" His pyknic cheerleader called, walking up to his side. "Am I fat?"
"No, of course you aren't?" Otogi answered, flashing a grin at her.
Shizuka, Anzu and Mai all looked at Otogi, then at his rounded cheerleader, then at each other.
"Jerk!" The three of them exclaimed, then stormed off, back to Mai's house.
Otogi looked at them leave.
"Was it something I said?"
Mai, Shizuka and Anzu all sat in Mai's house, gorging themself on chocolate ice cream and chips.
"I'm such a blimp," Anzu pouted, stuffing a mouthful of ice cream into her mouth.
"I'm such a cow," Shizuke pipped up, stuffing a handful of chips into her mouth.
"I'm so very very fat," Mai sulked, joining Anzu at the Ice Cream box.
"I'm the Good-year blimp," Anzu sighed, moving onto the chips.
"If anything, you're the Duff Blimp," Shizuka sighed.
They all barely lifted their heads, when Yami no Malik walked into Mai's house.
"What are you doing?" Yami no Malik purred.
"Are we fat?" All three of them asked.
"Do you want to die?" Yami no Malik asked back.
All three of them began crying, wailing things like 'we're so fat,' and 'careful Mai, I think I'm going to break this chair because I'm so fat.'
Yami no Malik blinked. "What makes you think you're fat?" He asked, fingering the sharpened tip of his Sennen Rod.
"We asked Jonouchi, and he said we were," Mai started.
"And then we asked Yugi and Bakura, and they said we were," Anzu added.
"And then we asked Otogi, but he said we weren't. But then he told this really obese person that she wasn't either," Shizuka cried.
Yami no Malik sighed, then sat down beside them, and flicked a chip into his mouth. "You're not fat. And if you saw that one more time, I'll kill you," he said, chewing the chip. "Now, if you would like, I could go kill the cheerleader, the Pharaoh, the Thief and the... other two."
Shizuka, Mai and Anzu all looked at him hopefully. "Do you really mean that?" they asked.
Yami no Malik nodded. "I don't lie... much," he said, then walked out of Mai's house.
"I still think I'm fa –" Mai's sentence was cut off when Yami no Mailk appeared out of no where.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" All the girls smiled widely.
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Hope you liked ^_^ Please review.