I can't believe that no-one had already made a fanfic like this. At least not that I know of. I mean, I've already seen a couple of fanarts. Unless requested otherwise, I'm keeping this a oneshot.

Re: Zero and its wonderful cast of characters do not belong to me.

Chapter 1: I Just Wanted Some Noodles...

Night time was a pretty dangerous time for me, well, for anyone really. You get told all kinds of horror stories, and every now and again you hear some kind of outrageous rumor that you'd normally find in a campfire situation.

It's kinda scary to admit it, but soon enough, you don't pay attention to those stories. It's not as if you don't believe them anymore! Scary things do happen, after all . But overtime the stories just... lose their meaning. So what if that happened to someone a hundred miles away? It's a tragedy, yes, but I'm a person who likes to focus on the positives of the world. Which is why I wasn't afraid of a short walk to the convenience store in the middle of the night.

Turns out, I really should have been.

One pack of noodles, check. A small(ish) bar of chocolate, check. Fifteen minutes wasted checking a manga I'm probaby never gonna buy, check! Haa... what an unhealthy lifestyle. Ah, well, a couple of stretches and a nice jog will work it out.

I was just pondering how to burn off the small candy bar (it was small, I swear!). I was minding my own business. Just another person wandering dangerously in the darkness...

And then one second later, it wasn't darkness anymore.

I said that I like the positive stories right? You probably already figured out that I'm a big fantasy nerd, too. I've read plenty of light novels an manga where the main guy gets transported to a video game, or an alternate dimension, or a fantasy world, or all three. And as cliche as some of them are (and believe me, I've seen things) I'm a huge sucker for them. Although, I've always wanted to see what would happen if a girl got caught up in those stories.

That being said, it didn't mean that I was ready to see a freaking dragon pulling a carriage.

My reaction was kind of: "Huh. A dragon."

Underwhelming, I know. In my defense, I did think it was pretty awesome. But at the time, I was about eighty percent sure that this was a dream. It was the middle of the night in my 'old world' so it wasn't a stretch by any means. I figured, if it was a dream, might as well go with it. If it was real, then standing around gawking wasn't gonna do much, was it? I knew this was gonna go, I'd get sucked into some big adventure and get a harem of hotties along the way. Author-kun, please try not to be so predictable.

So I walked around, and I'm got some pretty strange looks because of my clothing. It was the same kind of feeling I got when I walked through the city cosplaying, they were confused, but didn't really care enough to ask.

...Although, I suppose acting like a total idiot in the middle of the streets trying to activate my Sacred Gear didn't help much.

I got to what looked like a market and saw that the writing in this world was definitely not Japanese, or English or any language I recognized. That would've been way too convenient. But luckily, from the snippets I overheard from the people bartering around me, the spoken language was pretty much Japanese. I even had a nice conversation with this guy trying to sell me appas.

...I call bullshit.

Anyway, what followed was another silly mistake of mine that I have always been warned against: entering a dark alley. I mean, come on, it was the middle of the freaking day, who would be stupid enough to attack me in broad daylight? Turns out, no matter what world you're in, reckless/desperate idiots are a constant. And here they took the form of an ogre, a visual kei reject, and the mushroom guy from Super Mario.

I have no idea what they wanted, unless my tracksuit looked like noble clothing in this world, and how much of a fashion tragedy would that be? Of course, one can never discount the possibility that their motives were a bit more sinister...shudders...

I did have a hope of a slight reprieve when this adorable little blond girl passed through the alley. I really thought that this was the first event of this situation! Isn't this how it usually goes? The MC gets into a tussle, and is saved by a strong female character, who ends up falling in love with said protagonist. But no... the cheeky brat just passed by without so much as a by-your-leave!

...Bitch.

Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was expecting too much from a few crappy light novels with bizarrely long titles. But come on! If this is just specifically me, then that's discrimination, I say! Well, author-san, I'll have you know, I can take care of myself. I said I was positive, not stupid.

"Aarrgh!"

Shrek collapses from the force of over one million volts flowing through his body at the rate of five milliamps, thanks to my handy quality stun gun. You didn't honestly think I would walk aroun with no protection did you? There was only so much I could learn in terms of self-defense in the comforts of my apartment. I may not get the generic superpower, or the generic heroine, but I still have the generic hax item!

...That didn't really sound cool, did it?

"Hah! How do you like that?!"

Mushroom and Mr. Emo didn't seem keen to follow their friend. "A metia?" One of them mutters. Wasn't exactly sure what a metia was, but considering where I was, I could take a guess. Alright, time to ham it up.

"That's right!" I declared, channelling my inner performer. "This metia harnesses the power of lightning. And if that isn't enough, I also have another which has emits a smoke to burn your skin like fire!" Stretching it slightly, but they seemed to buy it. "That's right. So why don't you take care of your friend here and we can all go about our own business, hm?"

Unfortunately, with all my grandstanding, I forgot the number one rule of fantasy worlds: whoever is doing the gloating, good or bad guy, will end up being thwarted. And rule number two: just because somebody is down, does not mean they're out.

Shrek roared as he rose up and managed to grab a hold of my left arm, which held the stun gun. I immediately tried to twist my wrist to hit him again, but Toadstool tackled me, digging his strangely phallic shaped head into my stomach, knocking the breath from my lungs, right before he grabbed my other arm. Hey, you little brat, you were getting close to dangerous territory there, you know!

The last of the assailants advanced towards me, apparently going for the stun gun, or metia, whatever they called it. I lashed out with one foot, aiming for the area that should only be treated nicely. Underhanded perhaps, but so was three-on-one. Whatever you label it, they didn't like it. Ogre punched me in the stomach and the fungus twisted my arm back.

"You're gonna pay for that..." My victim growled, clutching his groin. A little tip, no man ever managed to look or sound intimidating while holding their crotch, graning in agony. Nevertheless, he probably didn't appreciate me pointing it out, judging by the kick in the ribs. I really need to stop running my mouth.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Something plowed into Minor Character #1, something that shattered on impact but sent him sprawling on the ground. My captors were just as shocked as I am, and that's when I saw her.

For the generic heroine, she was breathtaking, even compared to the ridiculous kind of beauty you see on fashion magazines. Silver hair, with a flower placed above her ear, intense purple eyes assessing the situation. She wore this loose, white and purple outfit that seemed to flow around her even without the wind.

Another two bits of crystal flew from somewhere on her left and slammed into the thugs holding me captive.

"Fuck, a spirit user!"

"Let's get the hell out of here!"

The three musketeers bolted into the alleyway, one of them still holding their groin, funnily enough. Hopefully that will teach them to be a bit more cautious about who they try to jump. Wait... No, if they're that dumb, I think we can afford to lose them.

I stayed kneeling on the ground, I had just been punched in the stomach. The girl knelt in front of me, holding my face in her hands. Whoa, should you be getting so close to a stranger. Actually, nevermind, you're my heroine, come here!

"Are you all right?" Ah, even her voice is beautiful.

"I'm fine. It will take more than those three to take me down." I try to grin roguishly, but it didn't exactly reassure her. Or it creeped her out, I couldn't tell.

"I'll say." Another voice spoke up. I turned my head and saw... uh... I guess a kind of floating cat. A really, really cute floating cat. And it was holding up my stun gun. "Looked like this thing could have taken care of all three of them at once." The cutie started fiddling with the stun gun, in ways that made me worry.

"Uh, maybe you should be abit more careful with that." I warned.

"Relax, I think I know how to handle a meti-AAHH!" Unsurprisingly, all his (her, its?) fiddling soon had it press the trigger, just as the prongs were at its tail. The creature dropped the stun gun, while holding its slightly steaming tail. It didn't seem that injured, just surprised. "A mechanical action metia? That's rare!"

"And that's why you shouldn't play with it." I snatched the stun gun away and pocketed it. "Anyway, thanks for helping me out!"

That's how the first event of my fantasy world life began.

I spent the next five hours getting to know the beautiful heroine, who I learned was called Satella, and her spirit friend/guardian, Puck. It was pretty surreal for me, actually. I was kind of a recluse back in the old world, and I don't really have any experience with talking to such beautiful girls. But somehow, words seem to flow. There was just something so charismatic about her that made it so easy to talk.

I was never really able to talk to pretty girls. It's not as if I was bullied or shunned or anything. But people with my kind of hobbies sort of form groups of their own. And I hate to say it, but there aren't a lot of hot girls in that community. Heck, I would probably describe myself as average, despite how muh it stings my pride.

And she was a kind girl. I didn't really know what to expect, but her clothes looked a cut above the norm in this world, so I assumed she was rich, and expected a matching attitude. A 'himedere', if you will. But no. She was sweet with that lost little girl, even though she was in the middle of hunting down that thief.

"You're a nice girl aren't you, Satella-chan?" I couldn't help but say after we waved goodbye to the little girl and the appa man.

"I guess. And why do you keep adding -chan to my name? Or Puck's?"

"It's just a sign of affection! Like nicknames! Haven't you ever called a friend by a nickname?"

"Umm... Well, I don't really have many friends." she said sheepishly. "Puck sometimes call me Lia, but... that's pretty much it."

The thing to do was pretty damn obvious, even I understood. "Well then, let's fix that, huh?"

"Huh?"

"Let's be friends, Sat-chan!"

"Eh?" Now she was even more confused, which really made her that much more adorable in my opinion. Even Puck seemed to be shocked. "Wait, where did that come from? We just met and-"

"Oh, never mind that!" I decide to take a gamble and loosely wrapped my arm around her shoulders. We were close now, her wisps of silver hair brushing against my face. "I don't have much experience being friends with girls my age. And you just said you don't have many 're not used to having people be nice to you, are you. Sat-chan?" It was an easy deduction. Anyone could recognize it. Satella was used to being overlooked as a friend for some reason, and I didn't like it.

Satella remained silent, biting her lip in hesitation. I decided to speak again.

"Tell you what. I've already decided to be your friend. You saved me from those creeps earlier, after all. Now, I'm helping you catch this thief. If by that time, I still haven't convinced you to be friends with me, well, I got nothing else. What do you say?"

Satella smiled beatifically, her eyes sparkling like amethysts. "I don't think you would have to worry about that."

Yeah, I think it would be safe to say we liked each other immediately. I would tease her and make some borderline inappropriate comment, she would scold me while trying to hide the smirk I elicited from her, and Puck would make his own wry comments on the side, at least until hegot off the clock. All in all, a pleasant walk with a new friend. A new experience to be sure. If this wasn't a dream, my new life in this other world might not be so bad.

I know I didn't say that out loud. But come on, you have to have known that even thinking that triggered a flag, didn't you?

I never even saw it coming. I don't even know what 'it' was.

One second, I was looking at some old man's carved up corpse, doing my best not to throw up. The next, Satella collapsed on her front. a sickening squelch accompanying her landing. At first I didn't know what the sound was, but I soon found out for myself.

The feeling of weakness overcame my body, the warmth of blood leaking down my body. I heard something plop down. Are those my guts? Ridiculous thoughts. Stupid thoughts. Thoughts trying to avoid the inevitability of death. I ignored the sense of weakness. I ignored the gross feeling of the blood and who knows what else underneath me. With huge effort, I raised my head to look at Satella. My friend.

I dragged my limp and mostly unresponsive body across the splintered wooden floor. There wasn't any pain. Maybe I was too close to death to feel it. All I could think of was her, still looking beautiful with her instantly fatal injuries.

I took her hand in mine, my thoughts running faster than they ever had in my life. My first mission, failed. My heroine, my friend, dead. No, murdered. Is this the end of my new life? Is this game over for me?

I couldn't tell you whether or not what happened next was the best opportunity of my life or the worst punishment I could have ever received.

"Hey, lady? Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna buy the damn appas? Wh-What the- Hey, hey wake up! Lady, what's wrong?"

Here I am. Natsuki Subaru. A teenage girl starting in another world. From zero.

So, what do you guys think? Should I continue this? Drop a review!