You let her go
A/N: This is a short, angsty, break up-themed one shot. Also, it's inspired by Passenger's Let her go.
Disclaimer: These characters are not my creative propherty.
You woke up in the morning to warm rays of light coming through the window. You reach out to her, expecting to find her soft form next to you, sleeping peacefully. But all you find is a cold sheet. No warmth. No sound of her sleeping soundly, nothing. Then you remember.
It's the same every morning for almost a month and you don't know how much more you can take. You ask yourself weather you'll ever get used to this. You tried to go back, to remember what was it like before you met, but to no avail. Part of you doesn't want to get back to that and another part of you left with her when you let her go.
Cos that's what happened. You didn't go after her. You missed your chance to be happy and knowing so is killing you a day at a time. There are still pictures of a once happy couple, seemingly wherever you look. The appartment is full of them and one night it gets too much and one of them ends up in a heap of glass by the wall. And you continue to drink the pain away.
It doesn't help though, and it comes back when you wake up the next day. Calling and hanging up seems like a routine now. God, you're such a coward. Such a fucking coward. At least something hasn't changed.
You haven't stepped a foot out for who knows how long. You can't take the risk of running into her. What would you do if you did? Cry? Beg her to take you back? Or would you just stare at her, lost for words and frozen in spot? Like a true coward. Probably the latter.
Your parents are worried. You sound off through the phone. When they come over, you pretend you're not at home. You don't want to see anyone, you barely talk to anyone. When you do, it is to stop them from coming over. You say that you're fine, better. You ask yourself if anyone believes you anymore or they finally decided to leave you alone.
The only one who you talk to and who gets past the doorway is your son. You feel better when he's around. The place is cleaner on that day and you took a shower. It's considered an accomplishment. Although, being on a first name basis with the delivery guy, isn't.
When the doorbell rings and you open it to see a tall, short-haired boy there, he hugs you and damn you if you start crying again. You don't. Watching tv, eating and talking about his school and whatever is new in his life, you can't help it so you ask. And he answers.
She isn't dating anyone. It's been almost a month and a half so you don't expect her to. Your heart would break in two if she did and it surely will when she does. She cries at night too. She barely smiles and you want with all your heart to change it.
So you go to her house one night. It's almost two and you can neither sleep nor stop thinking about the kid's words. You want to come back, to get another chance and you don't know where this sudden courage came from but you're not giving up now. She opens the door after your persistant knocking and it's impossible to stop the torrent of words that comes out of your mouth.
You tell her everything. How your life is empty without her. How much you miss her. How much you love her. How sorry you are with a promise to never leave her side, to never betray her again. It's pathetic but you're on your knees, promising you'll always be there, always believe her words before anyone elses. And you mean every word with your heart and soul.
If the town turns around her a hundred times over, you won't let them come anywhere near her, let alone touch her. The scar she now has on her back is your fault. Maybe she'll let you heal her someday. Sure as hell, you're gonna work for it, earn her trust and respect once more.
You swear she's some kind of deity because she lets you into her house, her bed again. No more words were spoken that night as you lay down, with her by your side, both with tears in your eyes and hope in your hearts. It was a start.