Title: Before The Dawn
Author: IndigoNight
Summary: Six young men. Three forbidden loves. Four parents determined to tear them apart. Who will withstand it all? And who will be lost… before the dawn.
Feedback: Yes please, yay reviews!
Pairing: HunnyxMori, KyoyaxTamaki, HikaruxKaoru
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran Host Club or the characters I'm just borrowing them for fun. Nor do I own the song, which is Before The Dawn by Evanescence.
Spoilers: Nope, not really
Rating: R for some heavily implied drug and alcohol abuse, swearing, and suicide.
Warnings: Slash, don't like, don't read. Suicide alert.
Author's Note: Inspired by the song Before The Dawn by Evanescence, obviously. Yes, I realize that its very long for a one shot, but I just couldn't find anyplace to split it up. In my mind it started out as a one shot, and will remain one, regardless of the length. I am very proud of this, sad as it is. Read, Review, Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I want nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
xXxXx
"Hikaru?"
"Yeah, Kaoru?"
"It never has been just an act, has it?"
"No."
"Good."
xXxXx
"Takashi?"
"Yes, Mitsukuni?"
"Do you love me?"
"Of course."
"Then kiss me."
"As you wish."
xXxXx
"Kyoya?"
"What do you want now, Tamaki?"
"I love you."
xXxXx
Nothing changed at first, really, but everyone in the Host Club knew just the same. They never talked about it, no one ever actually said it to the others, it was an unspoken rule. But they acted like it, when no outsiders were looking. Hikaru would fall asleep with his head in Kaoru's lap, while Kaoru idly played with his hair when they were bored. Hunny and Mori would sometimes hold hands under the table. Tamaki and Kyoya often staying in the music room for hours after everyone else left.
Haruhi just watched, smiling to herself at all of the lingering touches, the hidden smiles and half finished sentences, glad that her friends were happy. But all the while, deep down inside, she knew that it wouldn't last. She knew that they were all playing in some invisible bubble of innocence, and one day, that bubble would pop; bring their entire world down with it.
xXxXx
Somehow I know
That we can't wake
Again from this dream
It's not real, but it's ours
xXxXx
It was nearly midnight when Tamaki gave up on sleeping. He sat up in his bed, gazing absently out of his window, watching the raindrops slid down the glass. He closed his eyes, leaning back against his headboard, listening to the music of the rain hitting the rooftop.
Perhaps he was falling asleep after all, but the steady beat of the rain transformed in his mind, and soon was the calming thump thump, thump thump of a human heart. Slowly, as his body relaxed and his own heartbeat slowed, the thump thump sped up, until it was erratic, burning hot with passion. He imagined a soft touch on his neck, a gentle puff of air on his cheek, a murmur in his ear. That voice, sometimes removed, chilling him to the bone, others so gentle, so sincere it sent flashes of heat through his body.
Suddenly, Tamaki shot up out of his stupor. He needed to hear that voice again. Blindly his hand shot out, grabbing his cell phone; he didn't even have to think to dial the number. He held the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently as it rang.
One ring… two… three… then a cross, sleep muffled, "Hello?" met his ears and he let out his breath, not having realized he was holding it.
"I can't sleep," Tamaki whined.
"Well, keep trying," Kyoya grumbled, in his I'm-hanging-up-now-leave-me-alone voice.
"I miss you," Tamaki said quickly, trying to stop him.
"You just saw me a few hours ago," was the cross reply.
"I know, but I want to see you again."
"You will, at school tomorrow."
"No, I want to see you now," Tamaki knew he sounded like a child, but he didn't care.
"You can't."
"I know," he whispered.
"I'm going back to sleep now, Tamaki, good night," Kyoya said pointedly.
"No!" Tamaki cried, "Don't hang up. Talk to me."
Kyoya sighed, but said, "What about?"
"I don't know, anything," Tamaki smiled.
"Like…?"
"Um… what book are you reading?"
"101 ways to get rid of your annoying boyfriend," was Kyoya's sarcastic reply.
"That isn't funny," whined Tamaki.
"If you want me to be funny, wait until I'm awake."
"Fine," Tamaki sighed, "Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. 'Night."
"Good night," Kyoya said, then, as an after thought, "I love you."
Kyoya couldn't see it, but on the other end, Tamaki grinned, "I love you too," he whispered, then the line went dead.
xXxXx
Hunny hummed absently to himself as he floated his little toy ducky around the huge marble bathtub. Mori smiled softly to himself as he watched his small lover play, gently rubbing the soapsuds over Hunny's back.
"Today was fun, wasn't it Takashi?" said Hunny happily, not turning away from his toys.
"Yes," Mori agreed quietly. It was their ritual, their routine. Everyday after the Host Club, they would come home, do their homework, then they would separate to eat dinner with their families. Afterwards they would spend more time together, usually Hunny coloring or some such on his bedroom floor while Mori watched. Then Mori would give Hunny a bath, tuck him into bed, and return to his own home. Hunny of course didn't need Mori to bathe him or tuck him into bed, but that didn't matter. Hunny didn't need Mori to do a lot of the things he did for him, but Mori refused to have it any other way.
"I think we should have some strawberry cake before bed," Hunny announced.
"What ever you want, love," Mori whispered, gently kissing Hunny's soapy shoulder.
"Yay!" Hunny cried happily, spinning around and flinging his arms around Mori's neck. Unfortunately he caught Mori by surprise and the larger man, who had been balancing on the balls of his feet, lost his balance and toppled into the large bathtub, splashing water all over the bathroom.
"Takashi!" Hunny cried, just as surprised as Mori was. Quickly he grabbed Mori's face, pulling it above the water, "I'm sorry!" he cried, "I didn't mean to!" Mori looked up into Hunny's serious, tear filled eyes for a moment, his expression blank, then he sat up and began laughing.
"What?" sniffled Hunny, looking slightly wounded.
"I'm… sorry, Mitsukuni," Mori chuckled, "You're just… too cute," and with that he gathered the still sniffling Hunny into his arms as he sat there, fully dressed, dripping wet in the now only half full bathtub, gently cuddling his little lover.
After a moment Hunny began to giggle too, flinging his arms once again around Mori's neck. "I love you, Takashi," he whispered. Mori didn't answer, instead he gently put one hand under Hunny's chin, forcing the smaller boy to look up at him, and carefully planted a firm kiss on his forehead, slowly traveling down to his lips.
At length they at last pulled apart, both panting slightly. Hunny shivered as the bathwater had long since gone cold and Mori scooped him up, lifting him out of the tub. A few minutes later they were both dry, Hunny in his pajamas, Mori in one of the sets of extra clothes he always kept at Hunny's house, and on their way to the kitchen for a bedtime snack of strawberry cake, Hunny riding easily on Mori's shoulders.
As they went Hunny sang happily, "Cake, cake, cake, yummy cake!"
xXxXx
Kaoru stirred, a strange noise dragging him mercilessly from his deep sleep.
"No, no!" came the panicked voice beside him. He tried to sit up, but something collided with his face. Kaoru grunted, reaching over and flipping on the bedside light.
"Hikaru?" he asked, tentatively poking his twin who was thrashing about next to him in the bed, "Hikaru wake up!"
"No, no please, it isn't true, stop!" Hikaru moaned in his sleep, fighting against the blankets twisted haphazardly around him, "Kaoru! No!" Hikaru suddenly cried, sitting bolt up right, his hands automatically grabbing Kaoru's bare shoulders as though he'd already known his twins exact location.
"Hikaru?" Kaoru asked worriedly, gently cupping his twins sweaty face in his hands, "Its alright, Shh, it was just a dream."
"A… dream, r-right," Hikaru muttered shakily, his eyes nervously darting about to take in the familiar, dark room.
Kaoru frowned; he could feel his twin's wildly pounding heart as easily as if it was his own. Hikaru was never scared, of anything. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked uncertainly.
Hikaru closed his eyes for a moment, resting his forehead against Kaoru's as he struggled to slow his breathing back to normal. After a minute he shook his head slowly, "Its nothing, just a dream," he muttered opening his eyes and flashing a quick, false smile at his twin.
Kaoru nodded hesitantly, still watching Hikaru cautiously, as though afraid he would suddenly start going crazy again.
"I'm fine, really," Hikaru smiled again, a bit more believably this time, "Lets just go back to sleep, ok?"
"Yeah," Kaoru said softly, laying back down next to his brother and wrapping his arms around Hikaru's chest. But neither of them went to sleep. As Kaoru lay, his head on Hikaru's chest, his eyes closed, he listened to his twin's steady heartbeat, gently rubbing one hand up and down Hikaru's lithe chest.
Hikaru laid on his back, staring at the shadowy ceiling without really seeing it, his eyes cloudy and distant with thought. "Kaoru?" he asked softly after a long silence, knowing his twin wasn't asleep.
"Yes, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked, frowning as he lifted his head again.
"You'd tell me, wouldn't you, if something was wrong?" Hikaru's voice was small, and hard to read, even for Kaoru.
"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked. Hikaru was really beginning to scare him.
"Nothing, just, you know, if you weren't happy, with your life or something, you'd tell me, right?" Hikaru seemed so uncertain, so hesitant, almost as though he wasn't entirely sure what he was saying himself, or maybe it was something that was deeply bothering him, Kaoru couldn't decide which.
"I love my life," Kaoru said, sitting up and leaning his face in close to Hikaru's, trying to read it in the dark, "And I love you. Now, please, tell me what's going on. You're scaring me."
"Nothing, its nothing," Hikaru said quickly, looking away, but after a short moment he looked back again, some strange, dark worry dancing in his eyes, "But you'd tell me, if that changed, wouldn't you? You wouldn't try to… take care of things yourself, would you?"
"I don't understand what you're talking about," Kaoru complained, his heart constricting in his chest at Hikaru's desperate, searching expression, "But whatever it is you mean, I promise, I'll talk to you if something ever happens. I tell you everything."
"I know, I know," Hikaru muttered, looking away, and Kaoru couldn't tell if his twin was talking to him or himself.
"Hikaru?" Kaoru questioned softly after waiting patiently for several minutes as Hikaru gazed blankly at the wall.
Hikaru turned quickly back to him, "Its nothing, nothing, just a dream," he grinned, suddenly reaching up and capturing Kaoru's lips in a quick, teasing kiss. "I love you," he murmured.
"I love you too," Kaoru replied automatically. Hikaru's troubled expression from only moments earlier still weighted on his mind, but he shoved it off, as apparently Hikaru had, and leaned down, kissing his twin more firmly on the lips before snuggling back into his chest and slowly drifting off back to sleep.
xXxXx
If only night can hold you where I can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
xXxXx
"Tamaki, this is ridiculous!" Haruhi cried. It was after school, the Host Club had closed and all their clients gone home, but the club members where still there, and the music room was in chaos, as usual.
Haruhi was pinned to one of the soft, plush couches by a dramatically sobbing Tamaki, who had attached himself to her shoulder and was in the middle of thoroughly soaking it.
"But… Kyo-… thought… loved… me," Tamaki sobbed.
"What happened, Kyo-chan?" asked Hunny, helpfully petting the top of Tamaki's head from where he sat on Mori's lap on the other end of the couch.
"I have no idea," answered Kyoya in his usual, emotionless voice, but his knitted eyebrows behind his glasses showed that his lover's hysterics truly did confuse him, "He's been avoiding me all day."
"'No idea'!" Tamaki hissed, raising his face from Haruhi's soaked shoulder to glare at Kyoya, "As if! I was there! I saw! Right in front of me!" He was practically screaming.
Haruhi immediately took the opportunity to escape out of Tamaki's reach before he could capture her shoulder again. "Did what right in front of you?" she asked, now standing behind the couch, almost hiding behind the twins.
"He-he-" but with another huge, overly dramatic sob he buried his face in the cushion and said no more.
"Drama queen," Hikaru muttered under his breath, Kaoru nodded.
"Kyoya, is there anything you can think of that you've done that might have upset him?" Haruhi asked, sighing.
Kyoya frowned. "I took him to dinner last night," he said, "At the new French restaurant. It was recommended to me, and he had been talking about how much he missed the food there. It was nice."
"Oh yes, so nice," Tamaki had raised his head from the cushion again, "And why don't you tell them about the nice waiter we had too."
"Is that what this is about?" Demanded Kyoya, incredulous.
"You were flirting with him!" Tamaki yelled, pointing a shaking, accusing finger at Kyoya.
"No," Kyoya corrected calmly, "I was being polite." Tamaki snorted.
"My lord, I'm so sorry…" Hikaru simpered, suddenly moving from behind the couch and grabbing Tamaki's arm, Kaoru immediately holding the blonde's other arm as they pulled him to his feet.
"But you're a drama queen," Kaoru finished his twins sentence. Together they propelled him toward Kyoya, who stood watching them impassively.
"Kyoya doesn't have eyes for anyone but you," Hikaru told him sternly.
"Now, kiss and make up," ordered Kaoru, as they came to a stop, holding Tamaki barely a foot away from Kyoya.
The two just stared at each, Tamaki still with tears streaming down his cheeks, Kyoya with a raised eyebrow. The twins nudged them, but still they didn't move.
Finally Kaoru sighed and raised an eyebrow at his twin over Tamaki's shoulder. "I don't think they know how to kiss and make up," he said in a sad voice.
"I suppose then, dear brother," said Hikaru in a falsely sorrow-filled voice, "We shall have to teach them." And with that he stepped around Tamaki so that he and Kaoru were standing much the same way that their quarreling friends were. "Kaoru," Hikaru said, his voice still sad, "I hate you!" he suddenly raised his head, his eyes blazing with suddenly conjured false anger.
"B-but, Hikaru," Kaoru stammered, taking a wounded step back, "Why? I didn't do anything!"
"Don't lie to me!" Hikaru hissed venomously. They were extremely convincing.
"I-I'm not," Kaoru whined, his eyes beginning to overflow, "Truly, I would never!"
Hikaru continued glaring at Kaoru for a moment longer, before dropping his shoulders and rushing to his twin, "Oh, of course not! How could I ever have believed otherwise!" And with that Hikaru swept Kaoru into his arms, no differently than all the times they had staged something similar for the Host Club, only this time, they actually kissed. They kissed long and hard.
Then, suddenly, with a painfully loud bang the door to the music room was thrown open so hard that it broke the plaster on the wall beside it.
"What is this?" demanded a shrill, female voice.
Hikaru and Kaoru broke apart so fast they both fell over. Everyone else jumped, Hunny nearly sliding off of Mori's lap in surprise. A tall, thin woman, wearing a brightly colored, high-fashion suit with stiletto heels nearly a foot all, high cheek bones, and overly done make up, stood in the open doorway, staring in shock and surprise at the redheaded twins on the floor.
"Mother," Hikaru whispered, so softly that no sound came out at all, staring at her in horror. Kaoru was apparently too afraid to move at all.
"I come, all the way home from Paris," she said, her voice trembling with rage as she stalked slowly across the room toward her sons, "and not only find you two not home yet, but here, k-k-k-" she didn't seem to be able to say it.
Tamaki was the first to shake out of his surprised trance, and quickly stepped forward to intervene, "Haha, what awkward timing," he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he laughed shakily, "That wasn't at all what it looked like, you, see we d-dared… dared…" but Tamaki's voice failed as she turned her vicious eyes on him and he stumbled several steps back, practically falling over the couch.
"You. Come. Now." Mrs. Hitachiin choked out, bending down and gripping the twins by their ears, turning and dragging them from the room. Neither of them struggled, Kaoru seemed to be having trouble keeping his legs under him, and Hikaru was still mouthing soundlessly.
None of the other's pulled out of their shocked trance until long after the sound of a car engine roaring away had faded into the distance.
"Wow, and I thought my grandmother was scary," muttered Tamaki at last, breaking the silence.
xXxXx
Kaoru and Hikaru sat, one on each side of their mother, staring blankly straight ahead the entire ride home. No one said a word. The twins didn't dare look at their mother, let alone each other, or even out of the windows. They were terrified of drawing her attention to them at all, so much that they hardly even dared to breathe.
At long last the austere black car pulled to a stop in front of their huge, ivy-covered mansion. Silently the twins got out, unable to stop themselves from chancing the briefest glance at each other as they trailed their mother into the house, both dreading what they knew came next.
Not a word was uttered until the elegantly carved wooden doors closed with an ominous bang behind them. Mrs. Hitachiin stopped, just at the foot of the huge grand staircase, bracing her hand on the end of the banister. Her sons also halted, a safe distance away, subconsciously reaching out for each other's hand.
Three more long, agonizing minutes, that was how long it took for Mrs. Hitachiin to muster words for her sons. "What have I done wrong?" she asked at last, her voice soft, her back still to them, "Where have I failed?"
The twins said nothing, even if it hadn't been a rhetorical question, words would have failed them anyway.
"I have given everything I had, done everything for you two! And this, this is how you repay me!" she whirled suddenly, her eyes wild, screaming at them.
Kaoru took a step closer to his brother so that their sides were pressed together trembling slightly. Hikaru longed to comfort him, but was unable to suppress his own pounding heart. They clung desperately to each other's hand, as though at any moment the other might disappear on them forever.
"All my life, I have worked my ass off, so that you could have the best lives possible!" she screamed, her hair was already coming loose from its perfectly hair-sprayed curls and her face was a lovely shade of puce beneath all of her make-up, "I sent you to the finest schools, put you in contact with the best people. I've stayed out of your lives, gave you free rain, and this is what I get!" She stood there, her thin chest heaving, several veins popping out of her neck.
"M-mother, we-" Hikaru ventured hesitantly, taking a step forward.
"Don't you mother me!" she yelled, and quick as lightning, one perfectly manicured hand shot out and slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor.
"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried, rushing to him.
But just as he reached his fallen brother their mother screamed, "Get them! Both of them!" Their many servants, who had been tentatively looking on started, and two burly butlers stepped forward, one grabbing Hikaru under his armpits and hoisting him to his feet, the other wrapping a thick, hairy arm around Kaoru's chest and yanking him roughly away from his brother.
"No!"
"Get off!"
"Stop!"
"Hikaru!"
"Kaoru!" They cried and struggled, first using every trick Mori and Hunny had taught them, then giving up and simply flailing with all their might, but they could not break free.
"Get. Those. Disgusting. Things. Out. Of. My. Sight." Mrs. Hitachiin growled, watching the heart-rending scene with eyes filled with the fire of utter loathing. She turned and began walking up the grand staircase then, when she paused, turning back, and as if an afterthought, hissed, "And, each other's."
The butler's obeyed, beginning to drag the boy's off with out a moment's hesitation.
"NO!" They both yelled, still struggling, screaming, even crying, their hands stretched out pleadingly towards each other. They knew, that if they allowed themselves to be separated now, then they would never be together again, but there wasn't a thing they could do to stop it.
"Hikaru!"
"Kaoru!" They pleaded, as they were dragged further and further away from each other.
xXxXx
That night, none of the Host Club member's slept well.
Kaoru, who had ended up in what had once been both of their rooms, did nothing but pace all night, he couldn't sit still knowing that Hikaru was somewhere in the house (Or at least he assumed he still was) and yet he was completely helpless to reach his brother. The servants had lock the door from the outside as soon as he'd been thrown inside, and the phone had been disconnected. His mother had even ordered two men to stand guard below his window in case he should attempt to escape that way. In desperation, Kaoru pounded uselessly against the door with his fists. He pounded and pounded, screaming for his brother, for hours, until his voice was no more than a hoarse whisper and his hands were bloody and bruised. No, there was no way Kaoru could stay still that night. He and Hikaru had never been separated, now suddenly he found himself utterly alone, and dead certain that their mother would never let them be together again.
On the far side of the house, Hikaru was in much the same plight. He had been pushed, rather roughly, into one of the many empty guest rooms, the solid door quickly locked behind him. Immediately he ran to the window, only to find two suited men taking position directly below it. Next he tried the phone, disconnected. He collapsed onto the dusty, unused bed, and put his face in his hands, his mind working furiously to find away way to reach Kaoru, but he came up with nothing. He was completely and utterly stuck.
Across town their friends worried. Hunny snuggled close to Mori, refusing to allow him to go home like usual, not that Mori really wanted too. Haruhi tossed and turned. And once again, Tamaki's hand shot blindly out and dialed Kyoya's number.
"Hello?" Came Kyoya's annoyed voice, but it lacked the slur of sleep it usually had at this time of night.
"Have you heard anything?" Tamaki asked pointedly.
"Nothing more than a few disgruntled reports from the neighbors about the screaming waking them up," Kyoya replied darkly.
Tamaki suppressed a shudder and fell silent, thinking, which never boded well. "Do you think they'll be alright?" he asked softly at last.
"I don't know, Tamaki," Kyoya answered, his tone was bored and impatient as ever, but Tamaki knew he was really worried, why else would he have been sitting up still awake, using all of his contacts to find out how Mrs. Hitachiin had reacted?
They fell silent again.
"Kyoya?" Tamaki said, once more breaking the silence after a good ten minutes.
"Yes, Tamaki?" Kyoya said.
"What if they find out about us too?" Tamaki's voice was small, and more than a little scared, but he and he alone had dared to voice the fear that had been lurking in the back of all of their minds.
They'd all known of course, that no one could know about their relationships. It'd been their secret, their hidden sins. Their private game of make believe, where they played at what they knew could never last. But they'd never expected to be found out, this was never supposed to happen.
"I don't know," Kyoya answered softly, "I really don't know."
xXxXx
The next morning, Hikaru walked into the classroom, flanked by two, large, daunting men dressed in irreproachable black suits and wearing sunglasses. He walked straight to his desk, and scooped everything out of it.
"Hikaru?" Haruhi asked. His eyes flickered up to meet hers, and she gasped at the huge, ugly bruise that had swollen the entire side of his face to nearly twice its size. Then his eyes quickly flickered away again, and without a word he walked back out of the classroom.
Ten minutes later, Kaoru entered the room, his eyes also down caste, his pair of suited guards stopping outside of the door, one on each side, to take up post. Silently, Kaoru crossed the room to his seat and sat down, staring straight ahead as though too numb to properly comprehend what was going on around him.
"Kaoru?" Haruhi asked, staring at his hands, clasped together on top of the desk, both neatly bandaged.
"Hikaru has been transferred to another class," was all Kaoru said. He didn't blink, he didn't turn to look at her, and his voice was so quiet and hoarse that Haruhi barely heard him. But before Haruhi could question him, the teacher entered and class began, as though nothing at all was wrong. Neither Kaoru nor Haruhi heard a word he said.
xXxXx
"Kyoya, come here." Kyoya froze, frowning, and slowly changed his course, entering his father's office.
His father was rarely home, but when he was, he could be found in his home office. It was a well, if stiffly, furnished room, full of large, irreproachable mahogany and intricate carvings.
"Yes, father?" he asked, his tone carefully respectful as he came to a stop in front of his father's desk.
Mr. Ootori reclined in his chair, appraising his son with a distant, thoughtful look, his fingers steepled together. "You have grown up," Mr. Ootori observed.
Kyoya was taken aback by that observation, though he showed no sign of it. All the same, at a loss for a reply he simply waited for his father to continue.
"You are nearly old enough to take a bride. Have you given thought to it yet?" his father asked. His question was innocent, his tone emotionless, but his keen eyes were watching Kyoya closely.
"Actually, yes, father, I have," Kyoya replied smoothly. His face was equally impassive and showed no signs of the sudden painful pounding of his heart. "In fact there are several quite meritable possibilities at Ouran…"
"Like Suou Tamaki?"
Kyoya froze again, though imperceptibly. His mouth was suddenly dry and there was a sharp pain in his chest every time his heartbeat, which was far more often than normal. But nonetheless, the only outward indication of his inner turmoil was in the small, flutter of his eyelids, which he quickly passed off for surprise and indignation. "Suou… Tamaki?" he repeated slowly, his frown speaking loud lies of confusion.
But his father would have none of it. "Do not play coy with me, boy," he said. His voice still held no belligerence, simply honesty, though that was one thing that one could never be sure of in Mr. Ootori. "You think I don't know what goes on in that little club of yours? I have put up with it, passed it off as boyish frivolities, but no longer. You are too old for such games now, son, and it will stop."
Kyoya struggled to keep his face impassive and bowed his head obediently.
"In three weeks you will be announcing your engagement to Miss Fukara Ageda," his father continued, "And you will behave as one of my sons is expected to."
Kyoya didn't bat an eyelash. The rebellious part of him clamored to scream thousands of refusals, denials, anything. But he merely bowed his head again and said, "Yes, father." His father waved an absent dismissal, and he turned, keeping his steps carefully even and calm until long after he had closed the door of his large house, passed his usual car waiting for him without so much as a glance, and was several blocks away.
xXxXx
"Takashi!" Hunny sang, skipping into Morinozuka family dojo one sunny morning, nearly a week after the twin's had been found out. "Where are you?" Usually Mori came to his house in the mornings before school, but today he was late and hadn't picked up his phone, so Hunny had come to investigate.
But Hunny froze, his cheery expression disappeared at what he saw. Mori knelt on the floor, his head turned to the side, his father looming of him. Both turned as Hunny entered, Mr. Morinozuka's expression one of fierce belligerence, Mori's of surprise, pain, and just a touch of fear, though few people besides Hunny would have been able to read such emotions in his eyes. But what really made Hunny gasp the way he did was the fresh, angry bruise swelling on Mori's cheek.
"Takashi!" Hunny cried, beginning to run over to his lover, but his own father's stern voice from the doorway made him freeze.
"Miksukuni," Mr. Haninozuka's voice was imperial and commanding.
Hunny turned to his father, his voice pleading though he didn't dare show his usual childishness to Mr. Haninozuka. "Father, he hit Takashi!" he exclaimed, his small face knitted into an impudent glare of anger.
"He is being punished," Mr. Morinozuka said calmly.
"Punished?" Hunny demanded, turning from his father to Mori's and back again. "For what?" his chin was trembling, though he fought against it and refused to shed a single tear.
"For over stepping his bounds," Mr. Haninozuka explained, his voice held no remorse. But Hunny's expression didn't clear, so he continued, "For over stepping his bounds with you." Now Hunny understood, and was horrified.
He caste a glance at Mori, who had turned his face again, his expression blank to anyone but Hunny. "Mitsukuni," Mori started, his voice just as blank as his face, but to Hunny a soft plead to let it be, before he got himself into trouble.
"Quiet!" Mr. Morinozuka hissed, raising his hand to slap his son again. But before the hand could descend Hunny had crossed to room, positioning his small body directly in between his love and Mori's irate father, one small hand grasping at Mr. Morinozuka's thick wrist, stopping it in its tracks.
"Leave him be," Hunny ordered, he still held onto Mr. Morinozuka's wrist, but his eyes were on his own father, "I'm the one to be punished. Takashi only ever did what I asked him to. It's my fault, not his." His voice was resolute and he ignored his trembling lip, but it was taking all he had not to break down.
"Enough," Mr. Haninozuka announced, his voice clearly declaring an end to the scene without question, "Mitsukuni, say your goodbyes to Takashi."
Hunny let go of Mr. Morinozuka's wrist and stepped away hesitantly. Half a step towards Mori, half towards his own father. He glanced down at Mori, perfectly understanding the silent look of sorrow and pleading in Mori's eyes, and ignoring it.
Mori was afraid. He knew that Hunny would not let it be. Hunny was accustomed to getting his way, and was willing to fight for it at all costs, no matter what the consequences might be.
Hunny saw this, and understood it, and ignored it all the same. "You cannot take Takashi from me," he said. He stood at his full, diminutive height, his chin sticking out mulishly, his eyes still shining but his lip no longer trembling, his voice uncannily like his father's. "Ever since they day I was born Takashi has been with me. You said it would be so. I will never touch him again, if that is what you require," at this part is voice faltered just a bit, but he continued on bravely, "I will not touch him," he repeated, "And he will not touch me. But you cannot take him from me."
There was a long moment of silence in which every one waited with baited breath for Mr. Haninozuka's reaction. He took his time, carefully scrutinizing Hunny, then Mori still kneeling behind his son. "Very well," he announced at last, "Come, Morinozuka," he beckoned Mori's father and the door left the dojo.
Hunny waited until he was sure that they were gone before allowing his shoulders to slump, dropping his front, and turning to flee into the safety of Mori's arms.
But Mori held out a hand to stop him, not meeting Hunny's eyes.
"Takashi?" he whimpered pleadingly, no longer holding back his tears.
Mori stood stiffly, never once looking at Hunny, and never once breaching the two-foot gap between them. He bent down, picking up both of their discarded briefcases. "We will be late," he said formally, before turning and slowly, evenly leaving.
Hunny watched him go, sadly, then he sniffed and wiped the tears from his face resolutely, before biting his lip and following his former lover.
xXxXx
Kyoya was already in the music room when Tamaki arrived. The Host Club, had, of course, been shut down after the recent fiascos, there simply wasn't any point anymore, but Kyoya had asked Tamaki to meet him there after school.
Tamaki bounced across the room, his usual oblivious cheer firmly in place as he settled himself down in Kyoya's lap, kissing him firmly.
But Kyoya was anything but cheery. He didn't kiss Tamaki back as he usually would have, instead he turned his head away coldly.
"Kyo?" Tamaki asked, using his special nickname for his lover, "What's wrong?"
"Its over, Tamaki," Kyoya said bluntly, not looking at the blonde.
"What is?" Tamaki asked frowning, holding to his pretended innocence.
But Kyoya just shook his head, he knew that Tamaki knew what he was talking about. "I'm sorry," he said coolly, his tone giving nothing but absent disinterest.
"No," Tamaki said petulantly, "You can't do this."
"Why can't I?" Kyoya demanded, a tiny crack appearing in his mask as his eyes flashed dangerously, all but daring Tamaki to continue his denial.
"Because you love me," Tamaki answered simply.
Kyoya snorted. "Love?" he snapped, struggling to keep himself from bursting out in laughter, "You really are an idiot."
"I don't care!" Tamaki insisted, cupping Kyoya's face in his hands and kissing him again and again, "I don't care! I won't let you!"
But Kyoya just pushed him away, standing up and going several steps before stopping, unable to make himself continue. He felt ice settling in the pit of his stomach and spreading throughout his body until he was numb from it, and a part of him knew that that ice would never melt, not so long as he turned away from Suou Tamaki's kisses. "We always knew this day would come," he pointed out. He didn't dare to look at Tamaki, and he didn't have to in order to know the pleading, sorrow filled, almost angry look that was glowing in those violet eyes.
"It didn't have to," Tamaki said quietly. He too stood, slowly approaching Kyoya from behind, pleading, begging, "We can leave, can turn our backs on them. They don't matter. This doesn't have to be this way."
"Yes, it does," Kyoya snapped.
"Why?" whispered Tamaki, his voice trembling though he was struggling to hide it.
"Because I'm an egoist," Kyoya answered calmly, feeling his own tears freeze inside of him, and pointedly ignoring them, "That's just who I am." And with that he started toward the door again, turning his back on all of the truth, beauty, and happiness in his life, and walking back into the world where he was nothing but a mask hiding the swirling chaos of lies and pain that was his true self.
But he paused, once more at the door, his hand on the handle, not turning to look back at his former lover. "I expect you'll be receiving an invitation to my engagement party soon," he said coolly, "You don't have to come." And with that, he was gone.
xXxXx
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
xXxXx
Days passed. Long, hazy, pointless days. The Host Club had shut down for good, and its former members were scattered. Tamaki and Kyoya had not spoken since that last afternoon in the music room. Mori followed Hunny around like he always had, but he was now nothing but a dark, silent shadow, trailing the equally dark Hunny, not like a whipped dog. Kaoru and Hikaru were extremely lucky if they managed to catch distant glimpses of each other in the halls during school, despite still living in the same house. Haruhi tried to remain friends with all of them, to reconcile, to help in anyway she could, but none of them were really in any mood to be comforted, until eventually, it was only the twins she interacted with at all.
Kaoru she still saw everyday in class, but he rarely spoke to her, and never unless she asked him a direct question that he couldn't avoid. He didn't speak to anyone, actually, sometimes even going to far as to blatantly ignore the teacher when he was asked to answer a question.
But more than his social behavior had changed in Kaoru. He began to arrive to school late almost everyday, if he came at all. He stopped wearing the school uniform, opting instead for shabby jeans and old t-shirts, which he only stopped after countless complaints from the school, choosing instead to wear all black, which was little better. On the occasion that he did show up at school he would often sway and stagger when he walked, he reeked of smoke, and his eyes never seemed to entirely focus on anything.
One day, he arrived half way through the afternoon, stumbled into the classroom, and passed out before even reaching his seat.
The school called his mother, as they had many, many times before by now, but she never showed up for the parent-teacher conference, just like she hadn't any of the times before.
She kept up with Hikaru by meeting him in the hallways between classes, sometimes catching up with him before or after school. His body guards would glare darkly at her, just like Kaoru's did, but the never made any move to stop her from speaking to either of them, so she ignored the men.
One night, after Kaoru hadn't shown up to school for the third day in a row, Haruhi was worried enough to call Hikaru.
Hikaru had been settled into one of the guestrooms. He had done little to personalize it, he just didn't care enough to. Anything he did to it would have only reminded him of Kaoru, so he left it as it was. He too was suffering from the separation, but he was handling it better than Kaoru. In his new class, he had even managed to spark a few distant acquaintanceships with his classmates, though he put little effort in it. Instead he put as much of his energy as he could into his schoolwork, if only for something to keep his mind busy. And then, at the end of the day, when he'd done all the work he could possibly find to do, he would flop onto the bed, not his bed, no, his bed was back in his old room, with Kaoru. He would lay there and stare blankly at the ceiling, imagining Kaoru's face, so like his, thinking, remembering, hurting.
It was during this part of the day that he received Haruhi's call.
He glanced over at the phone as it rang, wondering vaguely who would call him. At first their mother had refused them phones, believing, correctly, that if they had the chance, they would call each other. But as the weeks passed, she had agreed to them having the phones back, on the condition that every call that was made for them had to be put through from a main phone in the house and given the servants orders not to let the twins through to each other should they try to call. Yes, she had gone to great length to ensure that the two were never any nearer to each other than they had to be, and beyond that, she now ignored their existence entirely.
Hikaru considered not answering, he was in no mood to talk to anybody, but as the ringing persisted, he relented and picked up.
"Hey, Hikaru," said Haruhi's voice. She was making a point to sound cheerful, and he knew it.
"Hi," he replied.
"How are you?" she sounded slightly uncomfortable and her cheeriness was slipping.
"Fine." He had little interest in even emitting the monosyllables he was giving her, but he decided he did at least owe her that much.
"Did you hear about Tamaki and Kyoya?" she asked.
Hikaru may have been out of the loop, but he still watched his old friends every chance he got. The sudden coolness between both Tamaki and Kyoya, and Hunny and Mori had not escaped his attention. "Yes," he replied solemnly. He didn't like thinking about it. A part of him longed to imagine that all the wrong in his life was just him, that out there the rest of the world, the rest of his former world, was still going on as it always had, somehow that idea had comforted him. But more than that, his dislike for the subject was rooted in the deep, nagging feeling that if he and Kaoru had not been found out, their friend's love would not have also been destroyed.
Haruhi gave up on other subjects and decided to cut to the chase. "I'm worried about Kaoru," she said quietly.
Hikaru didn't say anything. As much as it pained him to think about his twin, it hurt far more to talk about him. Sometimes, it hurt so much, that he wished he could forget that Kaoru had ever existed, but then the second such a thought would cross his mind he'd feel sick with himself, and long all the more powerfully to have his twin back in his arms.
"Is-is he bad?" he asked, trying futilely to stop his voice from shaking.
"Yes," was the solemn, blunt answer, "I'm scared for him, Hikaru. He won't talk to me. He rarely comes to school, and when he does he's drunk, or high, or something, I don't even know what. I'm…I'm afraid he's going to do something really stupid one of these days." Hikaru didn't have to ask what kind of 'stupid' thing she was referring to.
"What do you expect me to do about it?" he demanded, frustration and anger that had nothing to do with her making his voice hard and biting.
"I'm sorry," she said, and he knew he'd upset her, "I know you're stuck. I just thought… thought that you'd want to know."
"I didn't," he said hoarsely, "But I'm glad you told me."
"If there was anything I could do-" she started.
"I know," he told her, "But there isn't. There isn't anything any of us can do." And that was the part that hurt him most of all.
"I wish there was," she whispered.
"Wishes are useless," he told her coldly, "But so do I."
xXxXx
Kaoru jumped in surprise when the door of their, his room opened behind him. He turned, the knife he held still poised, crimson blood flowing freely down the few wound on his chest.
"Starting without me?" Hikaru asked quietly, his tone was light, inviting a joke, but his eyes were serious and sad.
"Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered in shock, hardly daring to believe this was more than one of his drug-induced hallucinations, "How did you-"
"Shh," Hikaru soothed, slowly crossing the room and taking the knife from his twins hand, setting it aside before wrapping his arms around Kaoru, "They won't bother us. Not tonight."
After that they said little, they simply held each other close. Kissing, crying, murmuring. They didn't need many words, both knew what the other was thinking, and both were content simply to hold each other, on this, their last night.
It was just before dawn when a maid came to wake Kaoru for school. She didn't scream when she saw them, bloody and motionless, cradled in each other's arms, she simply turned on her heel and left.
xXxXx
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
xXxXx
The funeral was a small, somber affair. There was no big ceremony, only a few classmates in black flanked by there parents standing silently in the graveyard under a canopy of black umbrellas to ward of the light mist of rain that was falling. Mrs. Hitachiin didn't even make an appearance.
It was the first time that the Host Club had all been together in one place since the first great fiasco only a few weeks ago, it felt like ages. Kyoya stood somberly on one side of the twin coffins, his fiancé, a small, timid, wisp of a girl at his side, while Tamaki stood on the other side, in the center of the cluster of cooing girls whom he had taken to surrounding himself with of late. Hunny and Mori stood somewhere in between them, Haruhi beside them in a plain black gown, she had given up masquerading as a boy after the Host Club had been disbanded, and therefore didn't care that the other students saw her in a dress.
No one else made a sound as the preacher spoke over the closed coffins, no body came up to place a flower on their graves before the coffins were lowered, no body cried. Once it was done, they all turned and left, just as silently as they had come. Tamaki and Kyoya hadn't even looked at each other.
Only Hunny and Mori lingered. Hunny watched sadly as Tamaki and Kyoya walked away in opposite directions with their women, as Haruhi bid them goodbye and hurried away through the slow drizzle. And as all the cars pulled away, Hunny dared to touch Mori for the first time in weeks.
Silently, he slid his small hand into Mori's larger one, needing the comfort too much to care about anything else. "I'm scared, Takashi," he whispered quietly, blinking up at Mori, his round face pale over his black suite, "I don't want us to end up like them," he glanced down the road at Tamaki and Kyoya's separate cars disappearing into the mist, then quickly back over his shoulder at the two fresh graves behind them.
"What do you want me to do, Mitsukuni?" Mori asked softly, kneeling down on the damp ground so as to be eye level with the smaller boy.
"Take me away," Hunny whispered. His eyes were over bright, though no tears fell, as he looked pleadingly at his love, "Lets leave. We'll go someplace where nobody knows, or cares who we are. Where they won't bother us. Where we can be happy."
Slowly, Mori leaned in, gently kissing Hunny on the lips, but only for a moment, before he pulled away and stood, saying quietly, "Lets go then."
And with that they left the graveyard together, hand in hand, and never once looked back as they walked into their new life together.
xXxXx
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
xXxXx