Title: Why Am I On Fire? (and Other Such Nonsense)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Percy Weasley
Prompt: #28 – Children
Word Count: 410
Rating: K+ (for active use of fire.)
Genre: Humor/Family
Summary: Percy muses over his children and their ability to still surprise him.
Author's Notes: This is the result of a completely random thought I'd had.
Disclaimer: I own nothing …

Growing up in the Weasley family definitely had its moments – mostly of insanity. I, being third in a crowd of redheaded children, tended to have the misfortune of being witness to (or even victim of) everything that went on in our house. Aside from what the rest of my siblings did for the sole purpose of amusement, having the twins as your siblings pretty much took care of experiencing everything strange or surprising. Before I'd had children of my own I had been pretty sure I'd seen it all and said it all thanks to my rather… inventive siblings.

However, I have since come to the realization that there are a lot of things I never thought I'd ever hear myself say. Things like "why is the owl pink?" or "Son, please don't bite the pigmy puffs…". And yet I say them all the time! Other such phrases include: "Where is your sister's hair?", "Why are there tater tots in your pants?"(1), and "You put what in your ear?".

A number of phrases I am beginning to say with alarming frequency include, among other things: "Children, please put Uncle Knick Knack back in the closet…"(2) and "How did you get that on your feet?".

Thankfully, "Why is there a fish stapled to the bathroom door?" only happens once a year – on August 14th, as is tradition… apparently. And so far I've only had to ask "Why is the house-elf on the fence dancing Hawaiian style in a grass skirt singing about bananas while playing a ukulele?"(3) once – though the gleam in my eldest son's eyes makes me nervous of there being a repeat performance.

And, of course, there's my personal favourite, and fast becoming #1 on my list of bizarre common phrases directed at my offspring: "Why am I on fire?"

This one being the current reason for my musings of the daily insanity of my children, as I use a water charm to douse the flames currently travelling up my left pant leg. I suppose it's better than what my wife goes through. She's recently decided to keep her hair cut very short as it has taken on the permanent look of someone who has recently been electrocuted. I can't help but grin as I hear the pounding feet of my children running through the house and the echo of laughter as they make yet another get away.

I wonder if the twins would be willing to baby-sit.

- 30 -

THE END

Footnotes:

(1) reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.

(2) a cookie to whoever catches this reference!

(3) this one makes me think of Dirty Dancing, lol.

completed: July 10, 2010
updated: August 16, 2010