On the beginning

Nymphadora's POV:

I don't think I quite remember the first time we met. It was probably during one of the first meetings of the Order. I remember that I was acutely aware of being in the presence of many older, and more experienced members of the group, some of them had even been around in the First Wizarding War! I often felt young and really immature, but I loved it when they did not exclude me and asked about my opinions during deep, serious discussions about strategies, moves and possible counter-moves from the Death-Eaters. At that time, during those early days, I did not even think of the possibility of falling in love with anyone! The atmosphere was always so tense, and I tried to brighten it up by making jokes about certain things, which did not sit well with certain individuals. But it was all very exciting to me, and all I could think about was, I was part of something big, and that it was dark times, but we were all going to make the best of it! I was never afraid of death, to be honest. I was only afraid of the consequences of death; my parents are still around and I do not know how they would take it if they know that their only daughter has left the world. (As you can tell, she tends to stray in her train of thoughts)

I think I started noticing Remus when we went out to do overnight duties together for the Order. I had always been comfortable being around boys, being a tomboy myself, and I sometimes feel I think like them. As I grew up, I was never really that much interested romantically in boys around my age. After graduation, Alastor (Mad-Eye) Moody always kept me on my toes, and for better or for worse, Auror training really took away the greater part of my days. At first, I was very curious about Remus "the werewolf" as it was well-known in the circle that he was one, and he had to undergo transformation every full moon. I was also very interested in the part that he played during the First Wizarding War. Imagine to everyone's surprise when we found out that my poor cousin, Sirius, was actually innocent all this time, and that it was Peter Pettigrew that had been the culprit in the case of Harry's parents' death! Poor Sirius, he had to endure all those years in Azkaban! So, I asked Remus a lot of questions about his previous battles, and his experience during the First War and his adventures with Sirius, and of course, about techniques to improve my dueling skills. As it turned out, I could learn a lot of things from him, but you have to get them out of him! He was so quiet and reserved in the beginning! It was me doing most of the talking; otherwise, we would have long, awkward silences during those nights. Then, we started talking about children, I mean, children of the members of the Order like Harry, Hermione, and Ron. I really love them, and so does he, him being a professor at Hogwarts previously and all. And I think that's when we really clicked it off.

At first, he had a sort of "fatherly" feel to him (I knew he was not of the same generation as me, and man, does he look old with all those scars around his face, and his greyish blonde hair, and that receding hairline!) But I knew I always looked up to him, and it was only later on, that I think that sort of feeling grew into something else. He was such a contrast compared to Mad-Eye, my primary mentor; the latter was strict and impatient, while Remus was really polite and accommodating. So, I think it was more like a gradual process. I think I became used to him, and then eventually, grew fond of him. I saw the first signs that he was interested in me when he asked me a lot of questions about my past, about my friends back in school, about my favorite subjects, about my tutelage under Mad-Eye, but the one that really got me suspicious was when he started asking me about my previous boyfriends, or if I had any before. I told him that I had a couple of relationships before, but nothing too serious, and no, I jokingly said, that I am not gay or interested in other women! Then before I knew it, I was thinking about why he had taken some interest in my love life. Could he be interested in me? And I think it was from that moment on, that I started toying with the idea that we could possibly hit it off together as a couple. (I never wanted Nymphadora to feel any pity towards Remus. That kind of relationship, one that is based on pity, never worked in real life. I always thought that more than anything, Nymphadora feel admiration for Remus, and feel that he is someone who is dependable and trustworthy).

Remus' POV:

What are my first impressions of her? Ah….she was really friendly, and although she was the youngest member of the Order, she always managed to draw attention to herself, whether tripping over something, or breaking some plates... (laughs) She was certainly not lady-like, and not shy, like most girls, and enthusiastic and confident almost to a fault. She was also gregarious, and her presence always seemed to lit up the room, with all that ever-changing colored hair, and she always seemed to make the mood of the meetings somewhat lighter. The war is brewing in the background, and yet, she seemed able to find some silver lining behind every cloud, telling jokes, laughing without a care. I remember the first time I met her was in the first meeting of the Order, when Dumbledore introduced all of us, and that took place in 12 Grimauld Place, Sirius' house. There was nothing memorable about that first encounter, really, since everyone was quite devastated about the news that You-Know-Who had returned, and preoccupied with strategizing. (I would guess that Remus never found her particularly beautiful or attractive, since JK Rowling never wrote anything of her beauty, except that she was less attractive than Fleur, but who isn't, right?)

From then on, we went on night duties together, and at some point, I began to look forward to the small talks we had during those nights. She was always curious about my being a werewolf, was always full of questions about the past. I particularly like talking about the kids to her. I regarded her as one of my students naturally, and took it upon myself to teach her about things. But after a while, I think she began to grow on me. I do not know how to describe the feeling. I started noticing little things about her, how her eyes were wide with wonder when I recount my old battle stories, her infectious laughter, the way her face flushed red with anger when I called her "Nymphadora" and how she slapped my back, and said, "Wotcher, Remus!" like an old friend. Finally, there was that day, when we had to squeeze in a very narrow space, off the path of an alley to avoid being seen by a Death Eater, and we were face-to-face, and standing right up against each other. I wanted very much to wrap my arms around her, and pulling her even closer, but my courage failed me. I was watching her face, but she never looked up at me, not even once, only at the alley, looking for a chance to slip unnoticed, and then, the moment was gone, and we had to be on the run again. I knew then that I was deeply partial towards her. I was quite sure that she could not possibly harbor any romantic feelings towards me. I am old and decrepit, and I am poor on top of that, and she definitely should not have children by me, lest I passed this werewolf traits on. She deserved someone better, really. (I think loving Nymphadora for Remus, while giving him some hope and happiness, was also a constant reminder of the wretchedness of his situation. Unlike her, he is now a grown man, his youth stolen by the years lost during the First War and now the Second one is coming. Even when there is not a raging war going on, he lived a life in hiding and poverty, while mostly grieving for the friends he had lost. Being stigmatized as a werewolf had also stolen any kind of opportunity he could possibly have in order to build a successful career or lead a normal life in the wizarding community.)