Bibbity-boppity-boo…
…And thus my curse began
Happily Ever After? Don't make me laugh. Look I danced one dance with him. We didn't even talk. He was only ever interested in me because I looked good and had a great bust. That is so much to build a relationship on.
So they whisk me back up to the castle, every girl's dream, right? Yeah, that dark and drafty old thing's where anyone would want to live. But don't worry about the stale air. I can't even breathe it because of my corsets. And, of course, there's manners training, I bet that's not in the little girl's fantasy. "Start on the outside and work your way in." Dull! The hours I spent learning how to dance- honestly! This is the stuff they should tell you about at the ball. And I "wasn't to worry my pretty little head over the affairs of state." "Don't frown, you'll get lines." "A lady never takes that much food!" What not? It'll just get thrown out later if nobody eats it. Never mind the starving people who die every day in this country.
But Prince Charming should make up for all that. Yeah, right. Don't get me started on him. After meeting with him a bit more I can tell you why we were headed out into the gardens. And it wasn't to talk. The thing that amazes me is that he managed to keep his hand on my waist when we danced. Granted it was a rather low part of my waist.
His Royal Highness has a mistress in each wing of the palace. There are nine wings. Not to mention his frequent trips to the villages to "meet with his people." Oh he meets with them alright. Half the girls in the nearby villages know his highness very well.
What's more, I don't have the right to divorce him. He can run off with my eldest stepsister, whom, yes, he is considering, but can I get out of this hell? …Yes…one way. That's what that knife is for. So to save the mortician some trouble:
Time of death: Midnight
Cause of death: Suicide
Cinderella
The girl who lived happily never after