The sun is streaming through the balcony as I open my eyes. My stomach growls as I look over and see that its 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Exhaustion and the time change are reeking havoc on our sleep schedule. Not to mention the most amazing sex of my life. Looking around the room, what was incredibly romantic last night is looking pretty messy this morning. I have a strong urge to get up and clean. But it can wait.

I glance over at Josh. He's still completely out. My husband. I can't believe it. That happened slowly. Then all of a sudden. I find myself wanting to shout it from the roof tops, but at the same time I'm perfectly content sharing this secret with him and wanting to keep everyone else out of it.

I wonder what people will say. Our friends haven't been completely oblivious, but like us, unable to properly define our relationship.

Lou had just assumed that we'd had an affair and that I'd left him when we broke up. One of the things I like about Lou is that she's pretty matter of fact. She asked me outright if it would be a problem working for my ex. I had quickly informed her that Josh was my boss and that we were just friends. I had blushed as I insisted that we had never slept together. Her response had been "Why the hell not?" She'd just raised an eyebrow when I'd said "it's complicated."

My parents. Ugh. Speaking of complicated relationships! They'll be slightly pissy that we eloped, but not unhappy for us generally. My Mom has always been closer to my sister. They don't really see eye to eye with me on a lot of things. They didn't mind me dropping out of college, what they minded was that I moved in with Dr. Freeride without getting married. Then they questioned my judgment when we broke up and I ran off to join the campaign. When I came back they assumed Dr. Freeride and I would finally get married. As I was leaving again two weeks later, my Mom had asked me what happened- but her tone of voice told me that she already knew- and didn't really want it confirmed. So I just said "It didn't work out. It's over for good." After Josh and Colin left Germany, my Mom had said- "What is it with you and men?" But I was too tired to answer, and I don't really think she expected one. Yeah, My Parents will be happy I'm married and once they know there are pictures to show their friends, less pissy about not having been included.

Josh's Mom on the other hand will be thrilled. I adore her. She hasn't been subtle about wanting grandchildren. oh god. Having Josh's baby?! I'm not going to think about that right now. But I look at him again and an image of a small boy with curly hair and dimples makes my heart about stop.

CJ is actually the one that has me most worried. I consider her a friend but she intimidates me. She's so strong. So Sure of herself. Our conversation about my world revolving around Josh changed everything. I didn't want to hear it at the time, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. In hindsight, I might have taken things too literally. Look how the fling with Colin worked out. If Colin hadn't shown up at the hospital, things would have been a lot different. I think. That time is so fuzzy to me. All I really remember is Josh came. Josh stayed. Josh was the only one I wanted there.

When I came back to the White House things were different, and not in a good way. Peace talks, Leo's heart attack, watching myself for PTSD, dealing with Josh and Toby as they were trying to deal with CJ. The craziness of the White House wasn't energizing any more. Nobody was really happy. There would be moments. Glimmers of the way it used to be. But more often than not the banter fell flat. It became clear that we couldn't go on that way.

I wanted to talk to Josh about both my career and the possibility of a relationship. Each time he blew me off felt like a blow. And the phrase "Pathetic need to be coupled" kept turning through my head. I had to get out. I wanted a career and Josh but if I didn't do something I wasn't going to have either. I had hoped he'd come after me, but I wasn't that surprised when he didn't. The first time we'd seen each other after I quit had been a little awkward- um, ok if I'm being honest, a lot awkward. But the way he'd stared at me HAD made my heart stutter. It had given me hope. He did miss me. He wasn't angry at me. There was still a chance for us. Later he'd said I should be with him. I agreed inside, but I wanted to be with him in a different context on different footing. I'd opted for the banter- at the same time reminding him that professionally what I was doing made more sense. If it had been a serious conversation, I would have reminded him that he hadn't actually asked me to join him either personally or professionally. He'd just assumed I would. After Russell lost, I'd just assumed too. I thought he'd just take me back. I'd counted on his ability to forgive me and hadn't really considered it from a professional view point. I'd taken the rejection pretty personally- but Will had eventually explained it to me. Will really was a good teacher. But not as good as Josh. That reminds me- I owe him an apology for that crack. He owes me a few too. But that's what marriage is about. I may not be close to my parents but they do have a good marriage. I've seen them hurt each others' feelings- but its never been on purpose and they always forgive each other.

I take a deep breath. I've figured it out. I've forgiven Josh for the slights and insults of the past. Even though this wedding happened fast, I have no uncertainty. Josh and I are meant to be together.

My stomach growls, loudly, again. Josh opens one eye and says "gee- it sounds like I'm not doing a very good job of meeting your basic needs."

I smile at him. "Let's go get some food."

"Okay."