Author's note : Hey,guys! I know I haven't been updating in awhile but I just wanna let you guys know that I'm still working on each of my fics. To those of you who have been reviewing and offering your support, I can't thank you guys enough. It means a lot and it does keep me going. As a sign of my appreciation and proof that I still intend to complete my fics, here's a one-shot fic about my favorite couple, Trowa/Minako. Hope you guys will like it.
Trowa Barton resisted the urge to sigh as Minako Aino snuggled deeper into his warm body. Her actions, though intimate it might seem, was not stemmed from affection or even the need to feel warm in the air-conditioned room. Instead, it was driven by the very fact that they were currently watching some horror film which she had rented earlier. Despite her insistence that they watched this particular film, she was unbelievably scared of every single scene that had a chilling music in the background. She kept burying her face in his neck and would risk a peek or two to watch the horror unfolding in front of her, only to cover her eyes once more and pleaded him to tell her when the scary part was over. Trowa maintained a glacial expression and his eyes were fixed obediently at the screen as she begged for him to keep a watch for the scary episodes but his thoughts were clearly not on the film.
Trowa glanced at the trembling beauty in his arms. She had one eye opened to focus on the television while the rest of her face was buried in the crook of his neck. It was not unusual for her to act so intimately with him like this. Other people might regard such an act to be confined solely within those who were in a relationship, not between roommates who shared nothing more than a common space and a friendly understanding of such an arrangement. But to him, it felt pleasantly natural. He liked the fact that she found his presence so comforting that he must stayed throughout this whole 'horrific' episode with her while she remained comfortably ensconced in his big, strong arms. He liked the fact that she needed him, whether it was to watch a horror movie, to fix the sink in the kitchen or to put out the fire during her cooking attempts. He was always there for her and he made certain she knew that, even though she may not be aware of the depth of his feelings towards her.
Her attempt to snuggle deeper into his chest jolted him from his thoughts, causing his system to run wild at having her body pressed so suggestively to his. The small confinement of the armchair had forced her legs to drape across his and she was practically cradled on his lap. She seemed painfully unaware of the effects her luscious body had on his as she stared fixedly at the television screen. When her body had found a comfortable position and remained perfectly stilled, he allowed himself to relax and sighed inwardly to mask an amused smile. Only her. Only his dearest roommate could make his system ran wild with a slight movement of her body. Her most innocent gesture could seem exceptionally seductive and enticing.
It was not unexpected. He had always known he was physically attracted to her ever since they first met. But the fact that he was pleased to soothe her whenever she needed the comfort had to do with something more than just physical attraction. His need to be the person to whom she could trust and rely on stemmed deeper than that. He acknowledged the strange, unwelcome, though not entirely unpleasant feelings which always attacked his senses whenever Minako portrayed a gesture that was more intimate than usual. Sometimes he wondered if she knew what she was doing to him. She was always a big flirt but strangely, she had never made any attempt to gain his attention. At least, not in an obvious way which only strengthened his notion that she did not feel anything about him other than friendly or sisterly affection. He was usually very observant, having lived in an environment which required him to be constantly alert of his surrounding and he could usually detect any changes of behavior but it became increasingly difficult to tell whether or not there was an underlying meaning beneath her casual gesture as his roommate.
Trowa felt her shifted slightly in his arms. Her head was now rested on his shoulders and her expression appeared somewhat relaxed now but he could tell she was still a little tensed. She seemed so fragile and small in this position. He felt a surge of fierce protectiveness and he instinctively tightened his arms around her. It was amazing how much their relationship had progressed in less than two years. It was even more amazing how she could easily threaten his stoic demeanor with just a smile. She had an exceptionally carefree attitude that dangerously rivaled Duo's character in many ways yet he had never found her optimism annoying or her positive outlook unrealistic. If anything, it only reflected how innocent she was. She appeared completely unaffected by the war. Unlike many people he knew, she did not seem to carry any scar that indicated a painful past. She seemed so pure and untainted, almost unattainable for someone like him. Yet he couldn't resist her. There was a certain charm about her that intrigued him. She always had a way of making him feel strong and vulnerable at the same time. She made him want to smile and laugh with her, she made him want to confide to her about things that he had never ever told anyone before, things that he had kept hidden all his life. He wanted to share everything with her, his interest, his past, his life…And he wanted her to feel the same way. He wanted her to share her life with him…
And that knowledge scared him, scared him more than he cared to admit. He was absolutely terrified. He had never felt that way during the war because he knew such indulgence had no place in the battlefield. To open up to someone would mean to give up a little part of him, making him vulnerable and more susceptible to suspicions, pain and betrayals. A soldier could not afford to have such weakness and it would undoubtedly be a distraction. The war might be over but a big part of him still held onto the notion that he was a soldier. He had been a soldier all his life and he had learned to live without what he wanted, which molded him into the sort of person he was today. His cold and distant nature enabled him to focus on his goal without any doubts or fears and he couldn't possibly give that up. If he allowed himself to give in to the temptation she represented, the 'soldier' part of him would die and he would lose everything that he believed, everything that he had known…
Minako suddenly looked up to meet his eyes, as though aware that he had been staring at her for quite some time. His expression softened involuntarily when she gave him a small smile before turning back to the film. No matter how determined he was to curb his growing feelings towards her, she had a way of gazing at him and forced his resolve to waver, reminding him over and over again why he had fallen for her in the first place. A part of him wanted to stay away from her. He had to stay away from her if he wanted to keep the better half of him. On the other hand, he was tempted to give in, to taste the pleasures that she offered, to be happy for once. Somehow, he knew being with her would make him happy. But at the cost of losing everything that he had known? Was it really worth it? What would he become?
He would be vulnerable, he decided grimly. Being a soldier, he could not afford to feel that way. He would be forced into a foreign position which threatened his security and she represented all things that were foreign. He clearly never had to deal with such conflicting emotions before and he had never been in such a confusing state. His mind was no longer intractable, his strength and resolve would falter where she was concerned. Not that he would easily give in but it would be exceptionally difficult for him to analyze the situation without having his feelings clouding his better judgment and he was afraid it would only be a matter of time before his feelings took over him completely. To be anywhere near her would be to stand on dangerously treacherous ground and to allow himself to love her…a part of him would die. He would lose a part of what he had been holding onto strongly, the part that helped him survived the war and made him fearless and strong…
But he would be happy, a tiny voice suddenly whispered. To know her and what it was like to love someone and perhaps, be loved in return. He would be happy for once in his life and he would feel…alive. If he could just take this chance, then maybe he wouldn't feel so lonely and miserable. He would lose a part of him that he knew and held onto strongly but he would gain something in return. He would gain so much more in return…He would learn to accept that other part of him that had been denied from knowing happiness and laughter, that part of him that was deprived from feeling anything, deserved to feel something now. He had known the harsh side of life that knew nothing more than sorrows and miseries. Now it was time that he knew the other half, the one that offered him luxuries as simple as having a companion to love and care for. He no longer had a reason to deny the things which were forcefully taken away from him in order to survive. He no longer had a reason to turn away from the pleasures life had to offer. It did not necessarily mean he would be weak, it did not mean his strength would be ripped apart and his insecurities exposed. Instead, it could make him stronger. No, it would make him stronger. If he must have a reason to live, why couldn't it be her? If he must have a reason to fight, then let it be for her. Why shouldn't it?
Because for once in his life, he would be doing something for himself. Not for the colonies or his friends or sister but for once, he would be able to live his life the way he wanted. The way he should. And he remembered vaguely someone telling him to act on his emotions. It did not matter if she did not feel the same way. All that mattered now was taking the step, acknowledging the chance that he could be happy. There were risks and he might even get hurt in the end. But then he had always been a risk-taker. So surely, he would also recover from it and learn to live again. She might not feel the same way but it would still be worth it. Just the thought of her made him feel alive and she made him want to live. She made him want to live his life the way he wanted. And the life he wanted had always involved her. He wanted to be with her. Because he was in love with her…
Trowa closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath and for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to revel in his feelings for her. The intensity of his own emotions startled him but now he realized he would not have it any other way. It proved that his heart was not completely destroyed by the war, that he was still capable of feeling something, wanting something…When he opened his eyes, he was slightly taken aback to find Minako, who moments ago had held onto him in fear and had been at the verge of ripping his shirt, was now sleeping soundly in his arms. Her features had softened and her chest rose and fell back into a deep slumber, leaving no trace of fear or tension from her previous ordeal. Chuckling softly, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked in his arms. As he pulled her closer to him, he brushed his lips gently against her forehead, his eyes gazing longingly at her angelic features.
They had known each other for merely two years but it felt to him as though she had always been a part of his life. Because of her, he woke up in the morning feeling as though he could take on anything life threw at him. Because of her, he found himself noticing even the smallest, slightest changes in anything and everything. Because of her, he was determined to survive each of his missions and appreciated what life had to offer. Most importantly, because of her, he could not wait to come home. Because he knew no matter how far or how long his mission would take him, he knew she would always be there in their apartment, waiting for him. And that made him feel belonged. It made life seemed so promising and he couldn't resist entertaining the idea that she might feel the same way…
Yes, he decided silently as he grasped her hand and brought it to his chest. He would live his life the way he wanted.
Because of her…