When Harry met Katie, Lizzy and Jenny
By Katie, who is BORED
Disclaimer: none of the HP characters belong to me, all of my friends are themselves!
A/N: If you read this and are not one of my friends do not review it saying 'oh there all silly and unbelievable' its MEANT to be like that! I don't really care what people like that have to say! I wrote it for my friends, not you!
"Hey Ron," said Harry to the boy that he had loved ever since he'd first set eyes on him.
"Yeah brother" answered Ron, looking up from his game of wizard chess with his 'girlfriend' Hermione. She wasn't really his girlfriend, well technically she was but in his heart she wasn't.
"Ron, stop it" scolded Hermione, "you're not black." Ron glared at her, he could be 'street' if he wanted to be, just like he could love Harry if he wanted to…
"Well I was just thinking," said Harry, thoughtfully, "you know, now that Voldemort is dead" the other two shuddered at hearing the name, "that we should go to Diagon Alley or something. Like a fun day out! Anything's got to be better than being cooped up here all day"
The three of them had been staying at the Burrow for months now, Harry didn't have anywhere else to go and Hermione wanted to be with Ron, much to his annoyance. The house wasn't as lively as it had once been. Bill had gone to live in France with Fleur, Charlie had set up a Dragon Protection Society in a 'secret location' in England, Fred and George lived above shops in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade respectively and Percy had died a horrible and violent dead, and was not really missed. As for Ginny, she had met the love of her life, Draco Malfoy, and had eloped, they hadn't seen her for a while.
"Yeah alright then" said Ron.
"Sounds like fun!" agreed Hermione, enthusiastically.
The three of them gathered their bags and shit and went downstairs to the fireplace. The Floo networks were once again safe to use, they were no longer being intercepted by Death Eaters. The only problem was that some of the networks had been damaged in the war against evil and they hadn't all been linked up properly yet.
Harry went first, "Diagon Alley" he said clearly, throwing a handful of green powder over his head. He felt the familiar sensation of nausea but knew almost immediately that something had gone wrong. He felt a bump and rolled onto a carpet, 'hmmm that's funny,' he thought, 'I don't remember the Leaky Cauldron having carpets THIS clean…'
He looked up, dusting the Floo powder out of his hair, and found himself in the living room of an unknown house, faced by three girls.
They all had dark hair and were awesomely pretty. The one on the left was mentally skinny and wore stupid emo clothes. At the sight of someone rolling through the fireplace she immediately started crying. The one in the middle was also uber skinny and had amazing fashion sense. She was completely speechless at the sight of a guy in the middle of the floor. The one on the right, though, was by far the coolest! She had too many freckles and hit the girl who had started crying "Crikey Moses Jen, do you cry at everything?"
"Shut up! I do not!" Jenny shouted back, knowing full well that she does.
"Guys!" said the middle girl, who was called Lizzy, "there is a random man in the middle of the carpet when we are trying to watch Flashdance. I know it's got a stupid story line I mean she's a welder that wants to be a dancer and she turns into a man at the end, but its worth watching for the comedy value!"
"And for the dancing!" added the third girl, who was called Katie and was wearing awesome legwarmers.
Harry looked at the legwarmers suspiciously, even in the 80s they hadn't been cool.
"Ok! I know what you're doing! And seriously, don't judge the legwarmers! I'm bringing them back!" she said.
"Katie, you're not fooling anyone!" laughed Jenny.
"Whatever, Lenny, whatever" Katie replied.
"So, back to the problem at hand!" said Lizzy, "Who are you?" All three of them stared at the boy.
"Oh, I'm Harry, Harry Potter" he said. Suddenly there was a BANG and a ginger haired boy came out of the fireplace and landed on top of Harry.
"Woah Harry mate, where are we?" he said, not moving.
"Well, for a start, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!" Harry said, the girls laughed but Ron just looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Are you two gonna move?" Jenny asked, looking at the way they were sort of sat on top of each other.
"Yeah, you look a bit gay!" laughed Katie, "Sorry Carl!" she added.
The two boys laughed nervously, not looking at each other and stood up.
"Whose Carl?" Ron asked.
"Carl's our gay friend! He's super cool!" Jenny said, "You should meet him!" and before they could stop her she got her phone out and started dialling. "Hey Carl! … We've got some friends we want you to meet! … I don't care if you're watching One Tree Hill! … Yes I realise that it's a brilliant tv programme … yes, I fully appreciate the hotness of Chad Michael Murray as well … Carl, just come to Katie's house … you're with Sarah and Jo? Well bring them too!" she hung up the phone and turned to face the others, "yeah, they'll be here soon!"
"So," said Lizzy, diplomatically, "are you the Harry Potter then?"
"Woah woah woah! You've heard of me?" Harry looked very shocked.
"Yeah, everybody has! You're an institution!" Jenny said.
"Some mental woman called JK Rowling wrote a load of books about you, she said that you just strolled into her head. Maybe she's a stalker!" Katie said.
"Where's Hermione?" asked Harry, realising that the burden of his life wasn't there.
"Don't care" Ron said, offhandedly, "I mean… not here!" he quickly corrected himself. Harry eyed him suspiciously.
Then the doorbell rang, it was Carl, Sarah and Jo. Soon they were all crowded in Katie's ridiculously small living room talking about magic, muggles and stuff.
"Did you say you were headed for Diagon Alley?" Lizzy asked, she had remembered this because she is good at remembering stuff, like the Irenaen Theodicy and why Frankenstein is a homoerotic novel.
Harry and Ron both nodded. "Why didn't you just apparate there then?" Lizzy asked. The boys looked at each other in amazement, why hadn't they just apparated there?
"Oh my God!" shouted Jo, "why don't we all go to Diagon Alley together?"
"And how are we supposed to do that?" asked Ron, who looked at her like she was stupid.
"The good ol' fashioned muggle way! On the train!" Jo replied.
Several Hours Later
"It's the Leaky Cauldron!" Carl shouted. "Let's all get pissed!" He ran inside where he bumped into Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. "Woah, sorry guys!"
"That's alright mate, what you drinking?" Seamus asked once he saw that Carl was with Harry and Ron. They showed him to their table.
"Anything alcoholic boys! Let's get drunk!"
The others rolled their eyes, knowing what Carl was like! They carried on through the pub, into the courtyard and out into Diagon Alley. It was totally 62442!
"This is so EXCITING!" Katie shouted. "Come on Lizzy! Let's go look at books!" They ran off towards Flourish and Blotts, because they are both bookish yet sensual.
"It's Oliver Wood!" whispered Sarah excitedly to Jo, "and it looks like he's with his Puddlemere United team mates!"
"Quidditch players! Oh my goodness!" said Jo.
"Even better than rugby players!" Sarah added as they marched off to go flirt with them.
Jenny was stuck with Harry and Ron, who were looking at each other rather too inappropriately for her liking. 'Great' she thought ' I'm stuck by myself! Am I that much of a loser?'
"Guys, I'm off to go look at Eyelop's Owl Emporium, I'll be back later" she said, knowing that they weren't listening and went off to see the animals.
Meanwhile Katie and Lizzy were excitedly flipping through magical spellbooks and history books.
"This one has a full account of how Dumbledore defeated Grindelwand in 1945, at the end of World War Two. It's so strange how wizard history coincides with muggle history. I mean look at it this way, the Ministry is leading a campaign against Voldemort at the moment and his 'weapon', its like so totally Iraq!" Katie said.
"Yeah and get this! The first war with Voldemort coincides with the Gulf War! Crazy!" Lizzy added, they were two smart girls.
"Ah that's always nice to see" came a voice from behind them, "two young people who are interested in history. You don't often see that in wizards today."
They turned around and saw Remus Lupin and Sirius Black stood behind them, Sirius Black hadn't died when he fell behind the veil, he had merely gone to another world, but he was back now.
"Oh, we're not wizards I'm afraid" said Lizzy.
"Yeah, unfortunately for us, we're muggles. But we're keen to learn EVERYTHING about wizards…" said Katie
"…. That we don't already know" added Lizzy.
"Yeah, some lessons about lycanthropy might be nice," said Katie, looking hopefully at Remus Lupin. Who, it must be said, is the same age as Snape and in the sixth book Snape is said to be 36 so he isn't that old!
Remus didn't ask how the girl knew about werewolves but they went and sat down somewhere and talked about it anyway.
"So," said Sirius to Lizzy now that they were left alone, "anything you want to know about?"
"Animagi?" Lizzy said hopefully. Sirius laughed and sat down next to her to teach her the finer details of becoming an animal at will.
In Eyelop's Owl Emporium Jenny was wandering around the cages of animals, admiring the beautiful owls and stroking the rats. She moved onto the glass bowls of toads, "you're not as beautiful as the others are you, but I still like you!" she said to them, because she's mental.
"That's not something you hear every day!" said a boy who was stood near her, "a girl who's not scared of toads!"
"I like every animal, apart from spiders and that's only because I'm silly" she said.
"Hi, I'm Neville Longbottom, want to see my toad?" he asked.
"As long as that's not a euphemism, because you have to know that I'm a bit prudish!" she said.
He laughed, "so am I, come on let's go sit in the sunshine!"
Ron and Harry were wandering aimlessly around the street.
"You know Ron, I really like you" Harry said.
"Harry mate, I like you too, otherwise I wouldn't let you stay at my house!" Ron laughed.
"Yes Ron, but I really like you"
"But I'm a boy!"
"That shouldn't make any difference to true love"
"And I have a girlfriend"
"She doesn't really like you that much anyway"
"And I'm pretty poor!"
"I have enough money for the both of us"
"And I'm ginger"
"Nobody's perfect!"