"Best case scenario?"

"I win a Nobel Prize."

"Worst case scenario?"

"We tear a hole in the fabric of the universe, which is much less likely to happen than the Nobel Prize. I mean, look, the risks are nothing compared to the potential benefits. Elizabeth will listen to you. I have never asked this of you before, but I think I've earned it. Trust me."

"I do, Rodney."

"So, are you going to help me convince Elizabeth?" McKay's voice was full of hope.

"I'll think about it. Good night, Rodney." Without waiting for a response John closed the door. When it had shut completely, he rested his head against the cool material and sighed.

"What was that all about?" The voice made John smile and remember why he hadn't allowed Rodney to come inside.

"McKay's asking me to trust him."

"But you already do, don't you?" Carson stepped behind John and slid his arms around his waist.

"You don't understand." John turned in the embrace and took his lover's face into his hands. "He wants to continue with the Arcturus project."

"What? One of his scientists was killed by tha' bloody machine!" Carson made no effort to conceal his shocked face.

"I know. And he feels guilty about that. And he said he knows how to fix the machine. And he told me a story about some guy named Daghan or something. He apparently worked on the Manhatten project."

"Harry K. Daghlian. Aye, I know the story. But it won't help Rodney to outwit tha' bloody machine now. I've been in the meeting, I have seen tha' poor lad who died, he was only exposed for a few seconds to tha' radiation and he had severe burns all over his body. I have no idea what radiation hit him. I don't know about any radiation tha' kills someone in mere seconds." Carson was getting agitated.

"I know, Carson." John's voice was low. They had lost another member of the expedition team today. Another ambitious try to handle Ancient technology had backfired. He was getting tired by having to deal with the consequences of yet another failure. The only fact that gave him some comfort, although it was not fair, was that it wasn't his fault this time. It wasn't a dead body he was responsible for, not yet another one he had to burden himself with. But still…

Instead of saying something, Carson pulled John closer. He was probably the only one who knew remotely what was really going on in John's head. He had seen him in his weakest moments. He had held him, when the nightmares were chasing him.

John clung to his lover and was relieved to let go a bit. With Carson he didn't have to be the strong military leader all the time. Carson understood what was going on, and he never judged him. He didn't always agree a hundred percent with the decisions John had to make, but he understood that most of those decisions were made to keep the safety of Atlantis.

They stood for a long while, just holding each other until Carson backed off a bit. He tilted his head so he could look into the green eyes in front of him. "What are you going to do now, luv?"

"I don't know." John sighed and looked aside.

"Come on." Carson took John's hand and led him to the bed. "Maybe you can think better, when you had a good night's sleep." He helped John to get rid of his clothes and pushed him under the covers, following suite.

John shifted onto his back and held his arm out so Carson could take his usual position with his head on his shoulder.

"Your hair is still wet," John stated when the thick black strands touched his bare arm.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting to go to bed that early." Carson said and almost instantly wished he hadn't and bit his tongue. "Sorry John, that didn't quite come out the way I meant it."
John sniggered. "It's ok, I was hoping for another course as well." John sniggered even more.

"What is it?"

"Rodney's face was priceless, when I said 'no'." John couldn't stop himself laughing now.

"You said 'no'?" Carson was obviously confused.

"Rodney asked if he could come in. And I said no. You were still in the shower and I wasn't in the mood outing us to Rodney. I'm just hoping he hasn't heard the shower."

Finally filled in on the joke, Carson giggled as well. "Oh aye, that would have been quite the show if I would have chosen that moment to come whistling into the living room, only wearing my boxers and rubbing my hair dry with a towel."

Another laugh escaped John. "That would have been perfect. You would have given him a heart attack."

"Maybe, but at least I'm a doctor so I could have revived him. Explaining everyone why I was doing that in only my boxers would have been a whole other story."

John chuckled. "Yeah, that would have brought all that gossip of the kiss to a whole other level – ow! What was that for."

"I thought we had agreed on never mention that again?"

"Sorry."

"Ok, I let it slip this time. Now, let me kiss you better." Carson bend over John's chest and kissed the spot where he had pinched him. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you. But I think there is another spot that hurts."

Carson chuckled. "Where?" Following John's finger with his eyes, he smiled when John touched down on his right nipple. "Ok, let me take care of that as well." With a smooth move Carson rolled onto John and gently kissed the nipple, full aware of the muffled moan coming from its owner. Paying the nipple more attention he circled with his tongue around it and slowly sucked it in his mouth. When he heard a guttural growl he smiled again. "Better?"

"Hu? Uhm, yeah… but the other one… it hurts quite badly." John was already panting and Carson felt his arousal pressing against his stomach.

After making the other nipple "better", Carson kissed his way down John's belly. His lover's cock was already greeting him, but was still confined in the boxers. Carson gave it a soft nudge with his nose and earned a surprised yelp from John. When he tugged on John's boxers the hips were instantly lifted so he could pull the fabric out of the way. Carson wasted no time and took the proud member of his lover in his mouth, twirling his tongue around the head and sucking softly. His reward was another moan, coming from deep down John's throat. He started to lick along the length, following the vein. John automatically parted his legs to give his lover better access, when Carson reached his balls and sucked them into his mouth one after the other. Returning his attention to John's cock again and taking it almost completely in his mouth, he fondled with one hand John's balls. He knew he did it right, when John yelped again and lifted his hip. Carson didn't stop him from doing so, but let John fuck his mouth.

"Oh god, Carson." John was almost over the edge when Carson pressed his hip down and released John's cock from his mouth. A whimper followed that action along with a plea. "I want you inside me."

Carson smiled. His cock was rock hard by now and it took him only a few seconds to get rid of his boxers and fumble the lube out of the drawer. He sat between John's wide spread legs and admired the view in front of him. John smiled at him dozily and nudged him with his leg.

"Enough watching, I need some action now."

Carson laughed. "Ye naughty bugger." But he slicked his fingers with lube and stroked John's opening. His lover shuddered under the touch. Carson gently slid one finger into John and felt the muscles clenching and relaxing around it. He added another finger quickly and found the sensitive spot. Watching John rolling his eyes back and pressing himself down on his fingers, Carson smiled and added a third finger.

"Ahh, Carson… come on, I'm ready."

"Aye, luv." Pulling his fingers out gently he slicked his cock with lube and grabbed a pillow to shove it under John's lower back. A second later he held on to John's hips and slowly pushed inside him. The heat enveloped him instantly and the tightness almost tipped him over.

It was rare that he was the one on top. He didn't mind being the one who was fucked. In fact John was unbelievable as the top and giving him pleasure to no end. But this was about trust. Carson knew. And he was more than happy, John trusted him. He began to move slowly, building up a steady rhythm, only adjusting the angle a bit so he would stroke John's sensitive spot with every move.

Carson felt the tension building up and curled his hand around John's straight erect shaft to mirror his rhythm with his hand. Slowly stroking up and down.

John gasped at the new sensation and began to utter incoherent words.

Getting more and more light headed Carson quickened the pace and felt his orgasm coming, but fought to hold on to bring John with him. He didn't have to wait long, hence John's body trembled with every stroke and he pushed himself on Carson's cock. Increasing the pace a little more, John came with a shout and Carson felt warm wetness on his fingers. With John's muscles clenching around his penis and forcing the orgasm out of him, the world exploded before Carson's eyes and he let out a long moan.

He collapsed onto John's chest and lay there, trying to catch his breath.

"I guess, now you need to shower again." John chuckled after a while.

"Aye, I'm on it as soon as I can move again."

John ran his fingers through Carson's still damp hair. "You know, we can stay this way and take the shower together in the morning."

"Tempting, but I think I'd like at least to clean the stickiness on our bellies."

John could feel Carson smiling. "I could do that, but there is a little problem here."

Coming slowly to his senses again, Carson realized, he was still inside John. "Oh sorry!" But when he tried to prop himself on his arms, he felt John holding him down.

"It's ok. Actually it's sort of comfortable."

Carson could not help himself but smile again. He knew what John was talking about. He liked it to feel his lover inside him after they had sex, too. It was a strange comfortable feeling and bonded them together, beyond the sex. It was all about love, trust and safety. Carson always felt safe with John and he was happy John felt the same way with him.

"Aye." Carson said drowsily.

After a long pause, John spoke up again. "I think, I'm going to help Rodney. If he really is right, we can't pass up this opportunity. And I want him to know that I trust him." John's voice trailed of.

"I know, luv. Just be careful."

Slipping into sleep, they both didn't care about cleaning. There would always be time in the morning. For now they felt safe and settled into an undisturbed, relaxing sleep.