Me: Welcome to my domain!
Itachi: Hn, welcome
Tobi: -uses Uke no Jutsu- Hello! Welcome!
Me: AWZ! X3
Tobi: :D
Itachi: Oh brother
Sasuke: What?
Me: He wasn't calling you over Sasuke o .o
Sasuke: oh … -leaves-
Me: lolz! Ok Tobi, take it away!
Tobi: Elena owns only her Mercedes that Itachi wants to have. Kishimoto owns us, she only borrows us for a short while :3
Me: LOLZ! Well .. enjoy! :D
There is a God!
This is just a funny little one shot I've made ... SasuNaru and many others, though this time ... there is no SMEX! -cue dramatic music and freaky scream-
-TV static- "DAMN TV! WORK DAMN IT WORK!" Naruto yelled as the television began to make smoke.
"Uh … Dobe? It's not happening. Just start off the damn thing yourself so we can go have sex!" Sasuke growled as Naruto blushed and nodded, pulling out a clip board from under the Tv table.
"Alright! This is the first ever … There is a God: Naruto funny! … So let welcome our first performers!" Naruto yelled as the wall behind the Tv moved and the couches were removed to reveal a small stage behind it all. Gaara stepped out and stared at the audience.
"... Boo" Everyone runs away screaming as Gaara smirks and throws Naruto an "I told you so" look. Naruto face palmed as everything goes black
"What the fuck? He didn't even say anything BUT boo!" Everyone stared as Naruto said the word boo and went into panic mode as Naruto stared at them.
Gaara and Sasuke stared at the mass panic Naruto cause, Gaara's not even as destructive as what Naruto caused. "You have got to teach me how you did that!" Gaara said as he watched Naruto stare dumbly at the people.
"What the fuck! We were supposed to present the There is a God: Naruto funny! Where the fuck are all of these people going?"
"Didn't you hear? Naruto … said … BOO! Its the end of the world as we know it! Save yourself … SAVE YOURSELVES!" Kabuto said as he ran away straight into a wall.
"What the fuck, there wasn't even a door there for him to make that mistake on!" Naruto said as he watched Kabuto slowly slide off the wall and to the floor.
"Tobi says to be a good boy and Naruto wont eat us all and kill our bones!" Tobi said with his Chibi self all cute and cuddly.
"TOBI! … That is not how you do the uke no jutsu! You're doing it wrong!" Naruto said as he glared at Tobi. Tobi stared at Naruto and dispelled the jutsu and sat down with a note pad and pencil as Naruto explained.
"You go … Bunny … Cat … Puppy … THEN Sheep! Not bunny, puppy, sheep, cat!" Naruto said as he performed the jutsu and made a perfect chibi him, making Sasuke have a huge nosebleed and Gaara faint with blood gushing out of his nose as well.
"See! That's how you do it Tobi!" Naruto said as he smirked at Sasuke and Gaara, who were speechless.
"Oh thank you for correcting Tobi, Tobi will now use it to get Zetsu-san in bed with Tobi!" Tobi said as he skipped off, leaving a very confused looking Naruto, and a horny Sasuke.
"What the fuck?" Naruto said as he stared at people, who began to panic even more and run away.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]TV STATIC![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
We see the Earth from outer space as someone clears his throat. "Boom, boom, BOOM BOOM, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boo—"
"Shikamaru! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Someone yells from behind us. Shikamaru blushes and sighed, clearing his throat once more.
"Erm … Nothing. … Anyways … In a world, where SasuNaru sex is not abundantly shown, and Sasuke is called Sasu-nator. One man stands against it all. And that man is ..." The camera zooms down at a super high speed, hitting a guy in the face and making him pass out cold.
"Erm … CHOUJI! You went in too fast! You hit Itachi in the face and fucking made him pass out!" Chouji chuckled nervously as everyone stared at him. "Ehhehehehehe … Is he dead?" Shikamaru sighed and shrugged, getting out of his bubble to check on him. Shikamaru poked Itachi's leg with a stick and stared at him.
"I don't think he's ok Chouji." Itachi's leg twitched as Shikamaru said that and Ino face palmed.
"Um … you guys want to go get some coffee?" Ino asked as Shikamaru and Chouji stared at her.
" … "
" … "
"HELL YES!" They both said together as they ran away, leaving Itachi and his twitching leg on the ground with a small puddle of blood forming beside his head.
Naruto face palmed from back stage as Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino ran away. Sasuke couldn't hold in his laughter as he watched Itachi's lifeless body begin to twitch.
"I'm not cut out for this damn job!" Naruto said as he threw his hands up in the air.
Sasuke chuckled and watched as a manure truck came down the street.
"Should we help him Sasuke?" Naruto asked as he noticed it too.
"No, he needs it." Sasuke said with a very evil smirk as the truck came closer and closer to his bother's twitching form.
"BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP" The truck said as it rounded the corner Itachi was still unconscious on, splashing him with manure and making Sasuke laugh his ass off as the now cow-shit covered Itachi twitched awake.
"W-Wha? What happened to me? I remember a camera then it got in my face … then nothing." Itachi said as he stood up, then seeing how he was he began to stare at himself. Sasuke laughed even more as Itachi stared at himself, trying to figure out how he got covered in cow-shit.
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHO COVERED ME IN COW SHIT?" Itachi exploded, making Sasuke fall on his ass and hold his sides as Naruto joined him. "I'M SERIOUS WHO DID IT?"
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]MORE Tv static[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
Barney enters the room, with a bunch of kids all happily smiling and cheering about him finally being here as he makes his way over to Gaara, but then thought it better. (LOL! I couldn't resist! XD … You all know I don't own this so shut it!)
Barney made his way over to the children and hugged them all tight. "Hello my dear children! Its so good to feel you again!" Barney said, making Gaara raise a nonexistent eyebrow at what he said.
"Don't you mean SEE them all again?" Gaara asked as Barney hugged a little scared looking Asian boy.
"Yes … I mean that! Let's play and make friends!" Barney said as he eyed Gaara and secretly licked his lips at the thought of "Seeing" Gaara.
"I don't even know why Temari made me come here in the first place … you're clearly a child molester." Gaara said as Barney slowly made his way over to Gaara, and more importantly his ass regions.
"I Love you … You love me! We're a happy family!" Barney sang as he circled around Gaara, making him grow in anger for the purple monstrosity. Barney smirked as he swooped in for the kill, hugging Gaara as he sang.
"For great big hug and a kiss from me to you!" Gaara could feel the purple monstrosity's hand on his ass as it groped him with vigor. Gaara's eyes grew wide as he felt a bulge being humped onto him. "Oh HELL no!"
Gaara turned around, judo kicking Barney in the face with his foot as Barney tried to grope him more.
"Noooo! It hurts! What was your problem! If you didn't want that, then why the hell are you even here?" Barney yelled as he swooped in on Gaara. Gaara gritted his teeth and smashed his foot in the purple monstrosity's face. "Alright that's it! You're going to die you ugly monstrosity!" Gaara said as he let his sand come out when all of a sudden, the door was blasted down and in came Itachi and Deidara, both looking pissed off.
"Uh-oh … this isn't going to end well for Barney" Barney said with a big Goofy-style laugh at the end as Deidara and Itachi entered the room with an evil smirk that scared the hell out of the children who sat in horror the whole time.
"Barney … your time is up, un! No more shall you rape innocent children … OR US,UN!" Deidara yelled as he let out some of his clay birds. Itachi smirked as he called upon the flames of Amaterasu to destroy Barney.
Barney gulped as all three looked upon him with all the evilness and sexiness the world would ever give up. Sand entered his body, going straight for his heart and squeezing it as bombs blew off his arms and legs and black flames consumed him, even his very soul.
"!" They all evilly laughed as Naruto tried to kill himself behind stage. "What the fuck! I told Kishimoto that no one would die if I took charge for at least one time! And now I have a dead Barney! … Well actually that's an improvement to the world." Naruto said as he chuckled and watched as Barney withered in pain and agony.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Gasp, it's the ... STATIC![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"Temari my love! Marry me, marry me now, on live television!" Temari had tears in her eyes as Shikamaru was proposing to her, him on one knee and her hand in his. Suddenly the back door was busted open and in came a fuming Ino.
"You bitch! I saw him first!" Temari growled and smacked her. "Shut up you Whore!"
"NEJI, NEJI, NEJI, NEJI, NEJI, OHHHHHH!" Neji smirked as everyone calmed down. "And welcome back to the Neji Springer show ..." Neji lowered his voice as a stage crew spoke to him. "Oh, it's not the Neji Springer show? … Copy writes to the name? … Go with the flow? … Sexy Bitch by Akon? … well Alright then." Neji stood straight and gazed into the camera. "I'm sorry, there has been a mistake. It's not the Neji Springer show … seeing as how Jerry took that name, it's the Neji Hyuuga show." Everyone laughed as Neji chuckled and looked at the frozen people below and quirking an eyebrow.
"Mr. Shikamaru, can you tell me why you have a dog biting your head?" Shikamaru blushed and leaned over to the side. "KIBA! Get Akamaru off of me!" There was some rustling before a guy ran out and got the dog off of Shikamaru. Neji sighed and shook his head, the audience laughing their ass off at every single thing that happens.
"Alright then, so today's topic is ungrateful bastards. Our guests today are Shikamaru and his girlfriend, Temari. Shikamaru has just proposed to her, but he also has something to say to her. Take it away Shikamaru." Shikamaru nodded and turned to Temari.
"Temari my love … I cheated on you … with your little sister … and I've cheated on you with Akamaru." Temari's eyes widened as Shikamaru told him this. "WHAT? You CHEATED on me … and with a dog?" Ino bursted out of her seat and glared at Temari. "Who are you calling DOG?" Temari face palmed and sighed.
"He just said he cheated on me with AKAMARU as well as you, you idiot!" Ino sweat dropped and sat back down.
"Well that must have been fun, did it let you butt fuck it?" Shikamaru stared at Neji, then shook his head no. "Ohhhhh you were the bitch then … um … er … lets move on, shall we?" Shikamaru sighed and nodded, looking over at Temari and getting on one knee again.
"Temari, even if I did that, will you marry me?" Ino shot out of her seat again and pushed Temari out of her seat, making her tumble down.
"Damn … that looked like a rock slide … let's hope there wasn't one." The audience busted up in laughter as Temari glared at Neji.
"You BITCH! You pushed me!" Temari said as she kicked Ino in between her legs and making her pass out cold.
"Damn … she fell like that tower in New York, I mean she went down like Wooooaaaaaah boom!" Everyone laughed harder as Temari kicked Shikamaru's ass and walked over to him.
"YOU Neji Hyuuga, will be my man now! And I say … it's time to beat my little bitch up now." Neji gulped as everyone ran for their lives and the cameras were knocked over, the last image was of Neji's terrified face, running away from Temari.
"DAMN! There goes another one, what the hell?" Naruto yelled as Sasuke put on the Jaws movie theme and turned off all the lights, stalking Naruto and making him squeal in fright.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Le'more static![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
A strange voice comes out of nowhere and begins it's talk, freaking a bunch of people out … This is it's story.
"On Today's episode of Naruto's Order: Criminal Hilariousness. We find ourselves with Detective Naruto as he tries to solve … The case of the missing boxers! Dun Dun DUNNNNN!" Naruto's eyes open wide as he hears that voice again.
"Oi! Where the hell is that voice coming from? … It's creepy and it sounds like those voices you here on movie trailers!" Naruto yelled into the air as Kiba stared at him. "O … kay then. Um … Detective Naruto, we have a new case for you to solve," Kiba slammed a folder filled with photographs of mutilated, murdered, and horrendous … boxers! DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!
"These are the latest victims of the Boxer Killer. And it's the fifth one this month! We need you to find the culprit, and put a stop to it before we all run out of boxers!" Naruto gasped dramaticly as he gazed upon the cum covered boxers, each one having X's as eyes and their mouths drawn on.
"Alright Chief! I'll get the job done but before I do … HINATA AND NEJI HYUUGA! Stop using your Byakugans to stare at peoples nakedness!" Hinata and Neji both stepped out of the closet, both with drool seeping from their mouths and their Byakugans activated. "I swear you guys are so perverted an—WHAT THE FUCK? You're staring at me right now with those Byakugans! STOP IT!" Naruto yelled as he futility tried to cover himself from their perverted eyes.
"Use your eyes for good, not evil!" Naruto yelled as he pointed at them.
"But we are! We are stealing your boxers for our goo—I mean um … Jiraya said he wants cookies! I should make them" Hinata said as she ran out, pulling Neji and his drooling along with her.
"Chief … I think we need cookies too!" Naruto said as he pranced out with Kiba behind him smiling"
"WAIT! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Naruto turned around with fear in his eyes as Sasuke came into the room.
Sasuke glared at the poor blonde as he spoke, "You forgot your lunch honey muffin!" Kiba sweat Dropped as Naruto stared at Sasuke with a horrified look.
"SASUKE! You forgot to put on your apron! What will the neighbors think when they see you without the apron?" Sasuke stared horrified at the thought of what the neighbors would think.
"OH NO! What will we do honey?" Naruto purged his lips before he was smacked in the back of the head.
"ITAI! What the fuck Sasuke?" Sasuke rolled his eyes and ripped off Naruto's badge, putting it on himself and putting the maids outfit on Naruto.
"That's much better. I. Don't. Do. Uke. That is you dobe!" Naruto pouted but nodded none the less as Kiba sighed and smacked Sasuke with the file and leaving them be.
"WHAT THE FUCK? … Those are the dobe's boxers!" Kiba halted his walk as he heard what Sasuke said.
"Then that means … WE MUST GET MILK WITH THOSE COOKIES! … AND HINATA AND NEJI QUIT USING THAT KEKKE GENKAI FOR YOUR PERVERTED LIKINGS ALREADY!" Kiba yelled as he watched the cookie crumble with dryness.
"TO THE BAT MOBIEL!" Naruto yelled as he jumped on Neji and Sasuke and Kiba followed.
"NARUTO! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Neji yelled.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]MORE STATIC? GASP![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"And now back to the soap opera, Days of our Kakashis."
"Kakashi! Don't go!" Ayame said dramatically as she picked up his bowl of ramen from the counter.
"But I must! I've already paid and I have an appointment," He said as he walked out, leaving a crying Ayame behind him.
"OH NO!" Someone yelled dramatically as a someone sobbed and Kakashi made his way over.
"Doctor! Tell me it's not true! Tell me I'll live!" Sakura wailed as Tsunade shook her head.
"No I'm afraid not … you've lost the game so you lose, naturally you start over at level one!" Kakashi sweat dropped as Sakura nodded and picked up a PSP.
"But doctor, I loved him! He must not die!" Sakura wailed as she stared at her PSP.
"I-its ok Sakura-chan. I-I will survive, I p-promise!" Sakura looked at Lee as he gave her a thumbs up and smiled at her.
"Oh, I don't care about you! I'm playing the new Naruto game and I was promoted to Kakashi! But then I killed him and I loved him so much! He was PINK! Pink I say! It's so hard to get ANY character pink!" Sakura wailed as Kakashi sweat dropped.
"KAKASHI! Tell me its not true! Tell me he is ok!" Naruto said as he began to sob.
"I'm sorry Naruto … he is gone." Kakashi said as he walked away, heading for his apartment and away from all the drama.
"NO! NO! NO! Why Sasuke, why did you have to go and be gone! WHY?" Kakashi nodded and walked up to Naruto, a single tear escaping him.
"I -sniff- I know how you f-feel Naruto. I didn't want him gone either, but he is!" Kakashi wailed as he finally let his sadness out, crying with Naruto about how Sasuke was gone.
"What the fuck is wrong with you all? I'm fucking gone for a fucking minute and half of Konoha is crying? And Who the fuck is gone?" Sasuke growled out as everyone stared at him.
"SASUKE! YOU'RE BACK!" Everyone yelled as they tried to hug Sasuke, but to no avail.
"Of course I'm back! I had to take a leak you idiots!" Sasuke yelled as he activated his Sharingan.
"Oh Sasuke! We missed you so much! How could you do this to us? After all we've done for you, you just leave just like that?" Naruto said with tears in his eyes.
Sasuke sighed as he rolled his eyes at Naruto. "Kami-sama dobe! You do this every time I go somewhere. I don't even leave the fucking village! I swear you and Kakashi do this just to piss me off!" Sasuke growled as they hugged him.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]G-A-S-P![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"We now return to The Sasuke Hunter" Naruto comes out in a forest, his face covered in dirt and he is wearing shorts, boots, and a shirt.
"Ello blokes! I'm Naruto Uzumaki and We're out hunting … SASUKES! Today, we're hunting Sasuke in a very peculiar habitat. Seeing as Sasuke usually is more comfortable in a habitat with couch-trees and Tv-shrubs. But he is here in this dense forest, and I'm goin ta tackle em down and take a good look at em, before I release em back into the wild. Now comon, lets go!" Naruto said in his Australian accent as he walked through the small forest.
"Well I'm now in the forest called "Sasuke's Backyard", which is a very peculiar place to find a Sasuke. Now remember folks, you must be an expert to do this. If you find a Sasuke near you, be careful not to aggravate em, for Sasuke is known to bite and Katon your ass." Naruto said as he stalked Sasuke from behind a tree.
Sasuke was laying in a hammock, relaxing the day away as Naruto taped him and planned how to capture him.
"Alight, lets go catch us a Sasuke!" Naruto said into the camera as the camera-man nodded in agreement.
Naruto carefully crawled near Sasuke, trying very hard to not disturb the creature from its resting place. "Now, Sasuke is known to eat tomatoes, and we are not fortunate enough to catch him when he is out hunting, but when he is, he is a predator of the finest. Meaning, each and every time he attacks, he attacks with precision and NEVER misses his target. Now me and Kiba, my camera man, are professionals, so once again … don't do this at home folks." Naruto said as he crawled in even more, Kiba staying back as Naruto crept his way over to Sasuke. He knelt beside him, his head raising over his body as Naruto carefully calculated his chances of surviving.
Naruto threw Kiba one look and nodded before he pounced, tumbling the now newly awakened Sasuke on the floor and securing his hands over his head and Kiba coming up to tape the capture of Sasuke.
"There you have em folks, ain't he a beaut! Look at em … gorgeous! And he is healthy he is. Should have felt all that raw strength he used to try to get me off of em." Naruto said into the camera as Sasuke gave both him and Kiba a "WTF" look.
"NARUTO! Get the fuck off of me! What the hell do you think you are doing!" Sasuke yelled as the back door of his house opened revealing Itachi and the rest of the Akatsuki.
"Uh-oh! Seems we've stumbled across a nest of Akatsukis! Run Kiba Run!" Naruto yelled as he ran over to the confused Itachi and ran around him.
"Now calm down boys, we aren't trying to steal your female, we just wanted to study er." Naruto said in his Australian accent, confusing Itachi even more.
"HOLY MOTHER OF TACOS! Its a Kisame! Hell Kiba, Run faster! Those suckers are known for biting your head off they are!" Naruto yelled as he ran away with Kiba on his tail, leaving a very confused gang of Akatsukis.
(No offense to Steve Irwin, I loved him so much .. he was my fave persons on the telly! May he be in peace? O .o?)
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Change of the Tv station[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"The Akatsukis!" -Simpsons theme song-
"Konan I think Psycho Madara is after me again!" Itachi said as he watched Madara place his face on the glass and stare at him with a knife in his hand.
"Oh that's such nonsense! Now eat your cereal before your father comes down." Konan said as he fed Tobi his bottle of milk.
"Konaaaaaaaaan! Itachi broke my Malibu Clay-Bird doll's head!" Deidara yelled as he ran down stairs with the broken clay bird in hand.
"ITACHI! … Go get your father!" Itachi sighed as he walked up stairs, leaving Deidara and Konan below to argue.
"Hey Weirdo, the big man down stairs says get your fat ass up and down there!" Itachi said to Pein as he walked out of the bathroom.
"ITACHI! Why you little!" Pein said as he jumped over to Itachi to strangle him.
"Hahahahaha!" Itachi said as he slid down the railings and grabbed his lunch box as the bus came and Pein ran after him with his pants nowhere in sight.
Itachi and Deidara were both safely on the buss as Pein ran after them, falling several times and screaming, "DOPE!"
"Hey Kakashi my man! Hows those drugs treating ya?" Itachi asked as Deidara made his way over to his giggling friends, Naruto and Ino.
"Oh Deidara! You have the hottest, most coolest brother in the entire school!" Deidara rolled his eyes and glared at Itachi as he sat down with his nerdy friend, Kisame, and the bully, Kakuzu walked over to him.
"Hey, Itachi. Wheres my money?" Itachi shrugged and looked out the window as Kakuzu stared at him then gave up.
"Hey Itachi, did you study for Mr. Sasori's test? I'm hearing it'll be hard!" Itachi's eyes widened as he remembered the test.
"OH SHIT!" Itachi said as he ran off the buss and slammed straight into … "Principle Danzo! Fancy meeting you here … ehheheheh." Itachi said as Danzo glared at him
"AKATSUKI! You ruined my car! What do you have to say to this?" Just then the announcements came on and a recording of Danzo's voice came on.
"Attention students. I, Danzo, am a big old fart with a giant ass and don't know when to shut up. There will be no school today for I need to scratch my butt on all of your desks … go home! The end." The announcement went off and Danzo stared at Itachi as he made his get away to the bus.
"AKASTUKIIIIII!" Danzo yelled as the bus sped away.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Change channels[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
All is quiet in the house of little Deidara. "I'm so thirsty, un!" Suddenly there was a loud explosion and the wall was blown away.
"OH YEAH!" Screamed a big bowl of talking fruit punch as he entered through the wall.
"OH GOD, UN!" Deidara screamed as he jumped out of the couch and fell to the floor, face first.
"OH YEAH!" The Kool-Aid man said as he entered and stared at Deidara, more like his ass.
"What the fuck? Get out of my house, I told you not to come here anymore!" The Kool-Aid man stared at Deidara as he got up and glared at him.
"You and your crazy tights are always getting in here! I don't like that, I don't like it when juice wears tights, un!" Deidara said as he pointed at the Kool-Aid man and Naruto entered the room.
"Oh no! It's that guy again!" Naruto yelled as Deidara motioned for Naruto not to say that.
"OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEEEAAAHHH!" Deidara face palmed and stared as the Kool-Aid man came closer to him, making him back all the way up to Naruto and stare as the Kool-Aid man stop.
"Fix that wall before dad gets home from that mission!" Naruto yelled as the Kool-Aid man stopped and stared at him.
"YEAH! He's going to beat us up, and he's NOT going to believe a talking bowl of fruit punch entered here like that, un!" Deidara yelled out as well as the Kool-Aid man stared at them both.
"Coming through the wall was real fucking cool! Using the fucking front door is even better!" Naruto yelled as the Kool-Aid man began to walked up to them again.
"Don't come near us you beverage! Stay back or I'll fucking blast a clay bird between those tights you always fucking wear, un!" Deidara said as the Kool-Aid man made to grab Naruto.
"Oh Yeah!" Naruto stared disgustedly as the Kool-Aid man came nearer.
"You fucking perverted drink! I bet you're filled with rape juice your naughty Kool-Aid!" Naruto yelled as the Kool-Aid man finally grabbed him.
"Don't touch me you drink! Your all sweaty and condensating and I don't fucking like it! Now get your ass on the move and FUCKING FIX THAT GOD DAMN WALL!" Naruto yelled as the Kool-Aid man stared at him.
"That's it, un!" Deidara said as he pushed his hands into his pouches.
He produced two small birds and threw them at the Kool-Aid man. "KATSU, UN!" Deidara yelled as they landed, making a HUGE mess of Kool-Aid man intestines on the walls and floors.
"That will teach you to fucking bust in through the wall you pervert!" Naruto and Deidara yelled as the door was opened and their dad came in.
"Room, pants and boxers off, and belt in my hand NOW!" Minato yelled as he observed the condition of his living room.
"There you have it folks, everyone loves Kool-Aid!" The commercial man said as the commercial ended.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Change Channels[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"And now we're back to … Real life stories, with your host … Gaara Sabaku" A voice says as the lights in the studio turn on and Gaara appears.
"Today on Real life stories, we're here with Hidan Akatsuki and he has a very interesting story to tell us. So Hidan, please tell us what your story is." Gaara said as he turned to Hidan.
"Well … the thing is. Oh Jashin, I need a tissue!" Hidan wailed out as Gaara handed him a tissue.
"Th-Thank you … it's just that … it's so painful to talk about it." Gaara nodded and sighed.
"It's alright Hidan, take your time." Hidan nodded as he closed his eyes.
"Well, I used to prank call people, messing with them and all." Hidan said as Gaara's left eye twitched.
"My favorite one to pull on people is when I whisper into the phone when they answer and say, "The Children … have you checked the children?" Then they would run off, scared for their lives. I used to love that one." Hidan said as Gaara nodded.
"Why do you said USED to? Why don't you love it now?" Hidan gulped and looked away, a small flashback cloud looking over the studio.
"Well ..." -FLASHBACK-
"Hidan is dialing the phone and chuckling as the phone is ringing.
"Hello?" A voice belonging to Naruto says. Hidan chuckled as he began to whisper.
"The children … have you checked the children?" Hidan asked as Naruto went silent.
"... I killed them. I killed the children" Naruto says in a whisper to Hidan as Hidan palled and began to cry for his mother. -END FLASHBACK-
"And that's what happened!" Hidan yelled out as he began to sob and wail in his seat.
Gaara rolled his eyes and looked into the camera. "There you have it folks, a real life story. Join us next time as Naruto tells us about his experience with a strange phone call." Gaara said as they did a close up of Hidan, crying in the fetal position.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]Tv static![~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
"The following commercial was approved by the Nutritional Society of Dumb asses!"
"Hello young people of the world! Are you tired of your boring cereals? Tired of the too sweet taste? Well We have a solution for you!" Said a voice from out of nowhere.
"emOs! It's the hottest new cereal out there! And it's approved by me, Sasuke!" Sasuke said as he walked out, a box of emOs in hand.
"So eat it now!" Sasuke said as the commercial ended.
"And now back to our programing!" A voice that sounds like Kakuzu said.
"Welcome back to What happens! I'm your host, Zetsu!" Zetsu said as he walked over to Orochimaru and Kabuto.
"Well … tell us your what happens Kabuto!" Zetsu said as he smiled, freaking a lot of the people in the audience out.
"Well … this is what happens when you look like some Moldy Wart." Kabuto said, uncovering a tall glass box and revealing Harry Potter.
"It's not MOLDY WART its VOLDEMORT!" Harry said as he pointed his wand at Orochimaru.
"DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!" Harry yelled as he smacked his wand against the glass.
"Seriously, who is this Moldy Wart?" Orochimaru said as the camera turned back to Zetsu.
"That's all for now! Join us next time when we talk about … SasuNaru sex obsessions!" Zetsu said as Harry tired to bite his way out of his glass prison but to no avail.
"I'll kill you soon Voldemort!" Harry yelled as Orochimaru's eye twitched in annoyance.
"I'm telling you that I am NOT a moldy wart!" He yelled as Naruto ran in and began laughing his ass off
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MOLDYWART! GOOD ONE!" He guffawed as Orochimaru glared off to the side and Sasuke came in.
"What the hell are you laughing about dobe?" Sasuke said as he watched Naruto roll around on the ground, holding his sides for dear life.
"Th-That K-Kid called O-Orochimaru … MOLDYWART! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto yelled as he tried to catch his breath and laugh at the same time.
Sasuke twitched and stared as Orochimaru glared off to the side and Harry kept yelling about "Voldemort"
"M-M-Moldy … wart? ..." Sasuke fell to the ground laughing a musical laugh as Orochimaru glared and turned to Harry.
"See what you've done you insolent brat? You'll die now!" Orochimaru yelled as he unleashed his snakes on the poor brunette, but was defiled as Draco came into the scene.
"NOT ON YOU LIFE, MOLDYWART! I LOVE HIM!" Draco said as he whisked Harry off his feet and held him close.
"And now … I'll take him and fuck him for all he's worth!" Draco said as he evilly smirked and pulled his now squirming, fear having brunette.
"That gives me an idea" said the now non-laughing Sasuke, whisking Naruto and running away.
"ITS SASUNARU TIME!" Naruto giggled as Sasuke ran away, leaving everyone seriously stunned.
[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]TV TURNS OFF?[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]
Me: OMAIGAWD!
Itachi: Well done little brother, well done.
Gaara: Where is the GaaNeji time?
Me: Er … in your room?
Gaara: … good answer!
Neji: Hey gu—ahhh! -gets taken into Gaara's room and gets molested-
Me: Does it ever end?
Pein: Apparently, no.
Me: LEADER-SAMA! -glomps- :3
Pein: … get this thing off of me.
Itachi: At least she isn't a shit load of cow shit.
Me: Awz! Itachi is still angry about that?
Tobi: -uses Uke no Jutsu- Pwease review!
Me: AWWWW! -glomps Tobi-
Tobi: I don't know why Leader-sama doesn't like it when she hugs him, Tobi enjoys it very much! :D
Me: AWZ! So damn cute!
Tobi: -blushes-
Me: AWWWWZ! X3
Tobi: Pwease review for Elena!
Me: LOLZ Well … that's it for now … see ya next time!
Yours truly, Bad Writer xD