Title: On the Topic of Sorting
Word Count: 543
Characters: Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff
Pairings: If you squint you can see hints of Salazar/Rowena

I've been wanting to do something with the founders for a while. I suppose this is actually a preview for a longer, multichapter fic I'm debating. If you would like to see more of the founders, let me know; in fact, let me know what you think anyway! Please review!

Disclaimer: Really, must we?

"A hat?" Salazar asked in obvious disbelief. "The future students will discover which house they belong in from a hat?"

Godric simply nodded. Rowena looked displeased by the item of choice - perhaps if she had her way, Salazar thought, it would be a diadem rather than an old wizard's hat - but agreed nonetheless.

Helga smiled, clasping her hands together. "I think it's a lovely idea, Godric. Heaven knows it would terrify the new students if the sorting were anything more extreme. What exactly did you have in mind, Salazar? Wanted them to fight a troll?"

Salazar scoffed at her. "Keep a dirty troll in the castle? Of course not! But perhaps something more noble. At least a crown of some sort if it must be a type of headwear." He was determined to not let future Slytherins embarrass themselves by having a simple hat tell them where they would be sorted. He shook his head. A hat? What had Godric been thinking? Sometimes he swore the man was quite mad; brave, perhaps, but mad nonetheless. He had to wonder which quality the hat would find qualified future students as Gryffindors.

"A hat is better than a crown, Salazar," Rowena said, fixing her stern gaze on him. "We don't want future students becoming too vain and proud. It wouldn't do well to encourage them by crowning them upon arrival."

Salazar grinned. "By all means, think of something better then, Rowena. Surely you don't want your intelligent Ravenclaws to have their minds searched by something as ridiculous as a hat."

Rowena narrowed her eyes at him, giving him a look that he knew quite well. It was Rowena's way of telling him to kindly shut his mouth and agree with the others. He had seen the look a few times too many for his liking.

"Well it's decided then," Godric said, smiling and ignoring the glare Salazar sent his way.

"Not quite," Salazar said quickly, before Godric could get too carried away, something he knew his friend was likely to do. He rolled his eyes at the stern glare and scolding frown sent his way from the women. "I'm not disagreeing, mind you," he assured them. "I merely have a question: after students place this Sorting Hat on their heads and it decides upon their determining qualities, how exactly is it supposed to announce it's decision?"

He had directed the question to Godric; it was Helga, however, who answered. "Why, it can shout it," she said happily. Rowena looked too tired of the whole topic to do anything other than agree. Godric nodded his consent.

Salazar, however, scowled at the ridiculous thought of a talking hat. He supposed he would put up with it; if not just to end the argument and move on to other topics, but perhaps also because Rowena was giving him that look again and he wanted to do what he could to stop her directing it at him.

While Salazar did not voice his opinions on the talking Sorting Hat for a while, he was certainly less than pleased when Helga showed him the charmed hat a few days later and exclaimed rather happily, "It sings too!"