Our story begins with loss and pain, the Doctor had lost his Rose, and been left empty, nothing he could do could bring her back. Hopelessness weighed heavily on his hearts and he found himself despairingly lingering on any object, smell or thought that could remind him of his Rose. Whenever he was forced to pass her room in the Tardis he was filled with an aching sorrow, but in his most painful and agonising moments he took solace in there, comforted by his surroundings, the place which held the last essence of Rose. He would gaze longingly into the mirror, wishing hopelessly to see her smile reflected back at him from across the room. He would linger on the scent that was still held in her clothes, he would remember the moments that they had shared, he refused to forget, he refused to let her go.

We join our hero on one of these long and lonely nights where once again he had taken refuge in the only place he could feel his hearts beating once again. He had taken to the room to once again hold on to his Rose, but he also retained a firm hold on his drinks, which he was now consuming on a far too regular basis. As he started to drink, he tried to will himself into entropy, stasis, anything to numb the loneliness, but being a Time Lord, he had never quite learnt his own limits when it came to alcohol and soon found himself rather cheerier than he had been in a long while.

So we see him, struggling to just stay standing, drink in one hand and gazing admiringly – and somewhat blearily – into the mirror, his other hand pointing at his reflection as he winked and grinned like a maniac. There was also a very strange sound issuing from the Doctor, it was something like this,

"She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up,"

As he sang this he performed what appeared to be a very complicated impression of a seizure but what we have actually learnt to be his idea of dancing (although this is still disputed by anyone who can actually dance.)

"And said, 'Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say, Doctor,"

With every elongated repetition of the word 'doctor', he sashayed his hips in what he seemed to believe an enticing manner and nodded to his reflection in approval. His drink, at this point, was finding it increasingly difficult to stay within the confines of the glass. As he performed an elaborate and overly dramatic twirl, the contents of the glass sloshed over his partially opened shirt and the doctor fell unceremoniously onto his rather bony Time Lord backside. He felt around the floor trying to find a way of getting back to his feet, not quite understanding why this was proving so much more of a challenge than usual. One hand had become stuck under Rose's bed and as he attempted to wrestle it free, sticking his legs up in the air (with the uncanny resemblance to a dying fly) in the process, his hand found something. He wrenched himself free and to his feet, still holding his discovery and now pretending that he was a pirate who has suddenly unearthed a rare and lost treasure. With a cry of,

"Arghh, me maties, yo rum ho…bottle…uh…rum? All that jazz? No that's not a pirate…ummm…arg!" He looked down to see that he was holding a skirt that Rose had left behind. He could remember how she looked in it, back in London, 1953, her face alight with smiles and the skirt hanging in its pink folds around her calves. He held the skirt against his face and then in a fleeting moment of drunken stupor decided that there could be nothing in the universe better to do at that precise moment than find out how it would look on him. So he held it up against his hips and looking at his reflection gave an enthusiastic shimmy followed by an almighty chuckle.

"I look gooood," he declared "Next regeneration I have got to be a woman! I've never been a woman before, the bounciness could be exciting!" And with this exceedingly strange proclamation the Doctor sank onto Rose's bed and proceeded to pass out there, the skirt under his head as a pillow and his arm wrapped around a book that had been lying underneath him.

A.N. --- The book plays an important part in the next chapter...can you guess what it is? Banana daquiri's for anyone who guesses right...lol you never will! Anyhow what do people think? Reviews please or face the squirrelly wrath and the doctor becoming a chav! We have the power!