Title: Night
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Chapter: 1/1
Wordcount: 2,781
Rating: R
Warning: Top!Dean, Evil!Demon!Dean, slight dub-con, bad language, reference to pre-end-of-deal established relationship
Summary: The night is darkest just before the dawn. This is when Sam reflects.
Disclaimer: After that season finale, no way would I even think of claiming this. You're a brave soldier, Kripke.
Author's Note: This was done as a request from fullonswayzeed who wanted Sam/Evil!Dean with Dean coming to terms with being a demon but still wanting to be his brother's protector (and lover, obv). Also, send her lots of cookies because it's thanks to her un-official beta-ing that this fic isn't completely crappy. ;)
When the night is silent, when Sam lies awake then in his bed, when the people on his side of the world sleep peacefully…that's when Sam sometimes wonders. He thinks the thoughts that he pushed away during the day, sees images that he suppresses by sheer will during the week.
In the dead of night, when nothing moves, when the emptiness is thicker than the blood coursing through his very veins, Sam lets go and thinks.
***
No one's allowed to touch him.
When they go to a diner for breakfast, when they to a gas station to fill up, when they walk around outside, when they pay for a motel room, no one's allowed to touch him in any way.
After Dean first came back, Sam wasn't even allowed to look at other people, let alone let them look at him. Every day, all day, all night, all week, was spent inside a motel room watching crappy television, sleeping, and sometimes thinking.
Sam spent almost a month in the same motel room, having gone outside only once.
He had gone out to pick up some breakfast from the breakfast area the motel had. Dean had been in the shower and although Sam was loathe to leave him, considering it had only been a few days since Dean had returned, Sam's need for coffee and food was too great.
He had walked into the dining area with the intent on getting some food for himself and Dean and going back to the room. Instead what happened was he got sidetracked when an elderly woman asked him to help her with her coffee and then her waffles and then the eggs and then help her carry them back to her table and then 'Oh deary, you must sit down with me' and for some reason, he had. Maybe it was because Sam was feeling happy, joyful, hopeful…accommodating.
Regardless, he ended up staying with the sweet woman for the better part of an hour, before excusing himself. He grabbed some muffins and another cup of coffee along with sugar packets and walked back to the motel room.
The sight that greeted him when he opened the door with his key while balancing the food in his other hand was one that would haunt him 'till the day he died.
Dean…and a gun…Dean with the gun…
Against his temple.
Sam thinks some nights about how he dropped the food and the coffee; thinks about the feel of the coffee burning him as it spilled against his jeans; thinks about how he didn't even notice that it had burned until that night when he had showered and saw the bright red skin because the burn and fear for his brother was far greater.
Sam had run to his brother, grabbing the gun out of his hand before Dean even had a chance to react. Sam took the gun and threw it to the side, crouching down next to his brother by where he sat on the bed. He couldn't even begin to fathom what the hell Dean had been thinking, but when Dean's eyes finally tore themselves away from their place on the floor where he had been staring silently, Sam almost lost it right then.
Wild; the only way to describe the look in those eyes as they met. Wild, hysterical, panic filling the irises and diluting the pupils until they were almost black.
'You left me', Dean had said simply. Sam felt his heart clench at the pain that sounded in his brother's voice.
'No Dean, I swear! I just went out to get some food and-
'LIAR!' Dean's roar had frozen Sam instantly. Dean had pushed away from Sam, shoving his fists against Sam's chest as he stood and walked away, his footsteps almost stomping from the sheer emotion that he exuded.
'You were gonna leave me Sam, weren't you? Leave me here by myself!'
'No, I promise you Dean I just went to get some food from the breakfast area…'
'For a fucking hour? God-fucking-damnit Sam, if you wanna leave, give me a better excuse than that! What, did you forget your stuff? Huh? That it? Came back to pick up your clothes and shit and get the hell away from me?!' Dean had turned around from where he had been standing and looked Sam squarely in the face and the look he sent Sam was murderous. For an instant, Sam felt a tendril of fear run up his spine seeing the furious expression in Dean's eyes…
His eyes…
Black eyes…
Sam had sat frozen on the ground, his own eyes wide in shock. It couldn't be…Sam knew Dean had come back a demon but now…seeing the very eyes of a demon…it took all the willpower Sam possessed not to reach for the holy water and begin chanting the exorcism. And in the time Sam had sat in a daze, Dean had moved.
When Sam's eyes focused again on Dean, he saw Dean with the gun in his hand again. He waved it around like a toy, a manic smile on his face, and in that moment, Sam didn't even recognize his own brother.
'I swear Sammy…If you leave me, I'll kill myself. I'll kill this body and go somewhere else and wreak havoc there. I'll go where you won't even be able to recognize me, and from then on, during every fucking exorcism you read, you'll always wonder if it's me, your brother, you're sending back to Hell.'
'Okay, okay Dean. I swear to you, I'll never leave you, I swear, just please, put down the gun…'
'Not good enough Sammy.' Dean had said simply. Sam shuddered, Dean's voice carrying through the room darkly.
'You're mine Sam. You belong to me, and I swear to God, I'm not letting you go.' Sam didn't know how it happened then. One minute he was sitting on the ground, the next he's got a mouthful of Dean's tongue.
They had ended up on the bed, Dean on top of Sam, attacking and ripping apart Sam's clothes. Dean's hands had grabbed a hold of Sam's shirt, his hands tearing the cloth apart as easily as paper, the buttons strewn everywhere, flying off the bed and hitting the ground silently.
Dean, who had been plunging his tongue furiously into Sam's mouth, biting harshly at the full lips and bruising them, tore away from Sam's mouth abruptly and began attacking the newly revealed flesh. Not bothering with removing the shirt all the way, his lips nipped and bit hard at Sam's chest. His lips traveled to one dusky nipple and all but ate at it, tearing at the sensitive nub until the skin around become a bruised red color and swollen.
Sam cried out, mostly from pain as his skin was hungrily taken.
Dean didn't stop though. He tore his lips away from Sam's body momentarily. He sat up, stared at Sam's flushed face, his lips swollen obscenely, his hair matted down; Dean's eyes followed a bead of sweat as it traveled down Sam's face, slipping inside Sam's open and panting mouth. Sam, whose eyes had been closed, opened them and stared back at Dean.
A wave of possessiveness, hysteria rose up in Dean's chest, threatening to suffocate him.
His hands flew to Sam's jeans, opening them in record time and pulling them forcefully down, then moving to his own pants and releasing his hard, swollen cock from its confines.
Sam could do nothing but stare.
'You like that Sammy?' Dean's voice spoke softly, all but growling. Sam didn't say anything, didn't know if there was anything he could say. Dean didn't hesitate even for a second though.
'I know you want it, Sam. I know you're aching inside to feel me fill you up.' Dean abruptly shoved three fingers into Sam's mouth, down his throat, almost causing Sam to gag at the unexpected intrusion.
'Suck'em Sam. Suck them hard, 'cause they're all you're gettin',' Dean spoke, his eyes filling dangerously with desire, still black. Sam groaned, unsure whether Dean meant the fingers were the only preparation he would get or if Dean meant it literally.
Before Sam could decide though, Dean tore his fingers away, slick with Sam's spit, and moved them down, brushing harshly against Sam's leaking prick, before plunging hard and fast into his hole. Sam threw his head back and all but screamed at the feel of three fingers entering him at once.
His fingers gripped the bed sheets tightly, as his ass clenched painfully against Dean's fingers.
Dean began thrusting them quickly, shallowly. His middle finger suddenly brushed up against the sensitive bud inside Sam, and Sam was lost in a wave of pleasure.
'That's it Sam. Give yourself up to me.' Dean growled as his fingers rubbed incessantly against Sam's prostate. Sam couldn't keep in the moans that had been threatening to escape before. Sounds emanated from his filthy mouth, obscene sounds that almost made Dean shoot right then. Sam's head thrashed from side to side, completely giving himself up to the pleasure that Dean was wreaking through Sam's body.
Just as Sam felt his release coming on though, Dean pulled his fingers out.
'God, such a whore Sam.' Dean spoke, before grabbing his dick and guiding it to Sam's puckered opening.
'Dean!' Sam keened, missing the feeling of Dean's fingers inside him but already eagerly awaiting Dean's cock. As Sam felt it prodding and rubbing against his opening, Sam had a momentary feeling of fear. Dean's cock was enormous and hurt Sam entering him even when he was properly slicked and prepared. Now though, with nothing but three spit-coated fingers to open him up, Sam knew it was going to hurt like hell.
He was right.
As Dean harshly shoved himself into Sam, Sam threw his back and cried out, pain erupting blindingly inside himself.
'You're such a slut for this aren't you? Can't even keep your screams in.' Sam's eyes prickled with shedding tears as Dean began thrusting inside him.
After a few shallow thrusts though, Sam felt Dean rub against the sweet nub inside him again and slowly, pleasure began to cover the pain.
As Sam once again started thrashing his face wildly, Dean starting thrusting inside him faster, harder.
'Dean! Fuck, right there, God, nonono-Don't stop…Pleasepleaseplease…more…'
Dean's thrusts sped up. His hands grabbed Sam's and pulled them up roughly, gripping them above Sam's head before Sam could grab a hold of his own cock.
'No Sammy, you're gonna come without anyone touching your cock, just me shoving inside your slutty little ass.' Sam let out a loud groan, half out of desperation and half out of ecstasy.
As Dean continued his relentless thrusting, Sam's jeans, which hadn't been properly removed, rubbed against Sam's thighs, Dean's own jeans rubbing deliciously near Sam's cock. Dean bent down, mouth attaching itself against Sam's neck, bringing their bodies flush against each other.
Dean bit hard against the tender skin, almost tearing off the piece of flesh. Satisfied with the sound that was released from Sam's mouth as he did so, Dean moved his mouth against the shell of Sam's ear above the skin he just bruised.
'You're mine Sam! You belong to me, your body mine to do with what I want. No one will ever touch you again, even if I have to kill them with my bare hands!' Dean growled, his voice husky as it whispered the words in Sam's ear.
Sam's body arched against Dean, seeking friction for his straining cock that was trapped between their bodies. He felt his release so imminent but just out of reach as Dean slowed down his thrusts.
'Say it.' Dean demanded. Sam knew what he wanted to hear, but couldn't seem to make his voice release the words.
'Say it!' He said again forcefully. When Sam was still unable to speak, Dean stopped his body immediately.
Sam all but thrashed, his body opposing the cessation of pleasure, rutting painfully against Dean's body for any relief.
'Please Dean! Oh God, just you, only you, pleasepleasepleaseplease!' Dean began moving inside Sam again, causing him to breathe out a whine at the relief.
'Again. Say it again!' Dean demanded.
'Yours Dean…God only yours!'
'Again!'
'Fuck me Dean, I'm yours, just you! Please just fuck me!' Dean sped his thrusts to the point where the entire bed began shaking, thumping against the wall in a steady beat.
'Louder Sam! I want the whole fucking world to know who you belong to.'
'Just you, only you! Yours, so yours, I'm yours Dean, fuck me-fuck me!'
'That's right Sam…Mine-all mine, no one else gets this, no one else gets to see you like this!' As Dean spoke, Sam wrapped his legs however best he could around Dean's hips, arching up to meet Dean's thrusts.
Finally, it was too much as Dean rubbed steadily and hard against the pleasure bud inside Sam. Sam let out a long groan as felt himself release.
The clenching of his muscles around Dean's swollen member was too much, and within a few thrusts, Dean was coming hard inside his brother.
Even after Dean's essence spilled inside Sam, Dean continued to thrust in him, pushing his seed deliciously deeper. Dean finally pulled out, a bit of his seed dribbling out and down Sam's thighs. He collapsed onto his left side, his right arm and leg wrapping possessively, protectively, tightly, around Sam.
Dean bent his head forward to whisper into Sam's ear, 'You're mine Sam. Don't ever forget that.'
Sam lay panting heavily, staring up at the cracked plaster above.
After that, Sam was all but locked inside that motel room for 2 weeks. Dean went out in the morning to get breakfast and lunch. For dinner, Sam usually had Dean's cock in his mouth and spilling down his throat. Occasionally, Dean would order out, pizza or take out. When that happened, Sam had to be in the bathroom or with his back to the door.
On one particular night, Dean had called and ordered pizza. They started watching TV for a few minutes, when suddenly Dean couldn't keep his hands off of Sam. They ended up fucking on the dirty carpet. Afterwards, when a knock had sounded that Dean had heard with his acute hearing, Sam continued to lie on the floor, too spent to move.
Dean had opened the door and started paying for the pizza. Sam's not exactly sure what happened next. All he knows is that the air in the room suddenly tensed and crackled as Dean grew angry. He stepped outside and slammed the door shut. Before it did, Sam caught Dean say something that sounded suspiciously like '…fuck did you say about him'? When Dean came back after 20 minutes, he didn't have the pizza.
There was blood on his clothes.
***
It hadn't always been like that.
When Sam thinks about it sometimes at night, he realizes that Dean was pretty much the same until the day when he thought Sam had tried to leave him.
In the first few days of Dean's return, he been just like his old self. He was afraid of what he'd do now that he was a demon, had asked Sam to kill him because 'I'd rather be dead then be a demon'! But slowly, Dean started coming to terms with the fact that he was a demon. Sam would now go so far as to say Dean embraced it, but he would never say it out loud.
***
It's been 1 year, 4 months, and 6 days since Dean came back from hell. He's different of course. He wakes up at night from nightmares. He can't remember Hell exactly, but at night the terrors seize his mind all the same.
They still hunt together but it's dangerous now for Sam. The evil sons of bitches in the night are strongly attracted to Dean, so Sam has to be extra careful now whenever he does go out. Of course, if anything so much as breathes the wrong way around Sam, Dean'll try to kill them.
Dean loves Sam and Sam loves Dean, but the love now is different. Dean expresses it differently. Only once has Sam ever thought about their love for each other. When he did, somehow the thought 'Dean's a demon and demons can't love so…' passed through his mind. He didn't think about that ever again. There's no need to because it doesn't matter. Even if it's not pure love between them, the feelings the share for each other are stronger than almost ever before.
Besides, Sam's got better things to think about at night.
***