It's Show Time
"No, No, No, I don't……."
"What, don't you do DiNozzo?" he questioned.
"Theatrical……….I mean……….I might look queer."
"Yep and I'm the fairy" Ziva retorted.
"But you're a girl………."
"I'm still a fairy and you're still queer." turning sharply and hitting Tim in the face with her wings.
"Boss, these shoes hurt………"
"McGee, you hurt……"
"Boss, please……….."
"Oi, all of you silence now. Look, listen and learn. This is for a good cause……"
" 'Cos, what and why" Tony asked smiling.
"Not that type of 'cos DiNozzo" receiving a slap on the head. " The NCIS children's Pantomime. The kids love it."
"Yep, so they can cast it up to us the rest of the year."
"Cast, that's a good pun Tony, must remember for my next book."
"If you live that long McGee" under his breath.
"And you are who Gibbs?" Ziva asked defiantly.
"I'm Director……."
"In you dreams Jethro, or are you suffering from amnesia?"
"Jen. Nice to see you." as he turned and smiled his irresistible smile.
"I might just have made you the back or front end of dobbin, if it hadn't been that Mr Palmer and Agent Lee have volunteered to be the horse."
"Wonder, who will be the front and the back?"
"Heard that Tony. No, thought stage management, Jethro, that way I can keep an eye on you" Director Shepard had announced.
Cinderella was the play but the script was different. They looked, and read……….
"Who wrote this?" Gibbs snarled.
"Actually Jethro, I did." Ducky responded appearing from the sidelines, the wings.
"Oh no you didn't, did you?" they all shouted in unison.
" 'Fraid so."
"She's behind you" Tony shouted, as Abbs crept up behind Ducky and slapped Tim on the head.
"Ouch. And who are you going to be?"
"Ducky says I can be the Wicked Stepmom."
"So that leaves you Jen, as Cinders." Gibbs replied.
"I thought I would, and as an extra, and if you were really good, might just let you be Prince Charming."
"Well I ain't good and I don't do bit parts."
"So, its Santa Gibbs for you then Jethro………Not a lot of HOHOHO tho' " Director Shepard replied, prodding him in the tum.
"OK. OK Jen you win. Just don't make me wear that beard."
"Look team its Christmas……….." Jen had ventured. "Goodwill towards men"
"I'm Jewish and I don't celebrate."
"We know, but you are still the fairy." Tony shouted.
"I'm not, but Kevin in IT is." she replied.
****
The curtains opened and Cinders is sweeping the floor.
"Oh I wish I could go to the ball? Why am I always the wallflower and never the rose." she cried to herself.
The dynamic duo or should have been the terrible twins, entered from stage left.
"So are you going on the game?" Tony had asked McGee.
"No, I was going to the ball, but if you want to go gaming that's alright with me. I could probably get a dance with Prince Charming." trying not to laugh.
At that point the wicked Stepmom appeared. She looked at the terrible twins and smiled to herself. She was wearing a long black dress, the seam split up the side, and the safety pins holding it together. In fact it reminded everyone of that dress Liz Hurley had worn. She held a set of handcuffs, which she rattled.
"Well boys, are you both ready to escort your charming mother to the ball?" Abby questioned, as she slipped her arms through theirs. Each wondered who was going to get cuffed. "I just hope I can get Prince Charming in a quick compromising position."
Cinders just sat by the fire and cried.
What appeared next, was not for the faint hearted, a poof or should that have been powf of dry ice, followed by an even bigger expanse of white. Kevin coughed, Ziva coughed and as the smoke settled, she looked about. Jen was crying, with laughter, she was sobbing with mirth.
"Cinders, Ella, I feel your pain. I would like to help." flapping away the dry smoke, "But we need to work together, again." Ziva spoke.
"Not Cairo, I don't want to see another camel." Jen replied, through the tears.
"Ok, dobbin, oi here now, Directors orders" Ziva ordered. As the pantomime horse clopped into sight.
"That's not in the script." Ducky said, looking at the words.
"No Duks, I think the Lunatics just took over the Asylum." Jethro replied laughing, " I would join in if I were you."
"Jethro, I don't understand?"
"Ad lib Dr Mallard, ad lib." Gibbs just could be right, as Donald watched him stride off into the back scenes.
"Dobbin, I will wave this magic wand and turn you into the most beautiful horse there has ever been. You will have a beautiful carriage at your back. You will take Ella here to the ball-game, sorry ball, where she can play the field, is that not another name for the game?" Ziva questioned.
Ducky threw the script in the air. "Jethro you have a lot to answer for. You rewrote didn't you?"
"Hell Duks, do you think I'd let Jen get away with being on top…………..Don't answer that………..it's not what I meant…….."
"Yes Agent Gibbs" he replied. Oh how he hoped it would turn out fine. As the curtain closed.
****
The next scene was well………ugly. The Ugly sisters, were ugly or were they just angry. Their shoes hurt and the corsets were tight. It was hot under the stage lights. They stood on stage, Tim waving his fan, back and forward. DiNozzo was getting into the act, and began to flutter his eyelashes at Jeanne, and blow kisses to her.
"I do so hope that I get a dance with Prince Charming." Tony had said. " I would just love to see his face as I put this stiletto……heel….. through his foot."
"Not so fast, my dear sister. I for one, and one for all, and I mean all of us, would like to see him fall foul of the Director."
The King entered from stage left. He wore a purple robe, trimmed with ermine, and a crown on his head. Looking to the audience.
"My dear subjects. I am honoured to be here tonight at this Christmas Dinner Dance and hopefully get rid of my son to one of you beautiful abet handsome women." as he looked at the ugly sisters. But in the mean time" looking at Abby, "Could I interest you in a Dashing White Sergeant?" looking at Abby.
"OOooooooooo, you mean Gibbs"
"No, I was thinking of the dance, followed by a Gay Gordon and then Strip the Willow." beginning to look surprised at what he had said.
"Father" Jethro shouted, "I will not be followed by a Gay Gordon, or even Kevin. But if you tell me, who Willow is, I might perform"
Back stage, sounds of a fanfare herald, and Jen appears down the stairs in the middle of the stage. She is wearing a long silver dress and glass slippers. Her hair sparkling with glitter and a silver feather boa. Looks like Kevin OTT the make up again. Gibbs stepped forward and offered her his hand. She took and smiled. As the music turned into a waltz, they took to the floor. Well, what really happened was that one of Jethros' two left feet stood on Jens gown and they both fell to the floor. The children laughed.
"I should have made you Santa." Jen muttered under her breath.
"Hey you wanted to be Ella."
As Tony and Tim helped Jen to her feet . Abby helped Gibbs, only to find himself locked to her wrist. She smiled at him seductively. In a split instant he had removed a safety pin from her dress and was free. He blew her a kiss. The next thing the clock on the stair began to strike, well there is a credit crunch on and it was needing more money.
"Oooppps forgot to say get a cab at midnight or it all falls apart." the fairy said appearing from the side with dobbin, as Ellas dress began to fall apart at the seams. Jen rushed off stage left, with Jethro holding a silver shoe.
"I will travel the length and breadth of my fathers Kingdom, to find the fair maid, well make that the red-headed beauty who has just filled my void better than a bottle of Jack."
"Who wrote this script?" DiNozzo muttered to McGee from behind the fan.
"I would say, if I'm not mistaken Tony, Gibbs' No1 fan." reading the words printed on his own fan.
"So, it was…………." as Kevin shut the curtain.
*****
Next morning there was a chap at the door. Well not so much a chap as an almighty knock and then this chap appeared.
"I have travelled this kingdom to find the owner of this silver shoe. Whoever it fits will be my Princess."
"OOohhhh Me me me" shouted the ugly sisters, pushing each other and elbowing each other.
" Oi, no, as your mother," as Abby slaps Tim on the head, "I go first." as she grabs the shoe and tries to push her foot into it.
"See, it doesn't fit." DiNozzo shouts, "Let me have a go." as he can't even get his toes into.
"Have you no other daughters?" Gibbs asked.
"No, none" Abby replies, which is technically correct as she is the wicked stepmom.
At that point Jen enters from the side. Her rags dirty, well she had been dusting.
"Who is this?" the Prince asked.
"Oh her, she's only Ella, the scullery maid, or my step daughter."
"I said I would let every woman, girl in the kingdom try the shoe." as he offered Jen the shoe. She slipped it on her foot and from her apron pocket she took the other and placed it on her left foot. They fitted like a glove, which is pretty stupid as you don't wear gloves on your feet unless they are called soxs.
"My Princess," Gibbs said "Would you marry me and be my future Queen?"
"Like hell, your highness. I'll get even with you Gibbs, your highness." she whispered under her breath) " With your track record in marriage we'll be having another dance next year. So no, I will not marry you but I will live with you in Sin, where-ever that is." she replied.
As Gibbs took Jen in his arms and kissed her, the audience booed.
*****
The cast now stood in line. Bowing to the audience. The children threw cotton wool snowballs at the cast as they tried to duck. Tim stepped forward and raised his hand for silence.
" I would just like to say on behalf of the cast and from the script writer of this epic script a very merry Christmas to Everyone, have a Happy Holiday."
As the curtain came down………..in more ways than one.
"KEEEEVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN" they shouted. The navy blue velvet curtain moved in waves as the cast members tried to get out from under.
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