Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Author's Notes: I'm, uh, not sure where it came from. But now it's here. And it probably won't go away.
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There are lies Seth tells, words that don't convey feeling, paragraphs that pile on sentences that pile on syllabls, saying so much and nothing at all. He whispers, laughs, and quips these untruths, weaving them and boasting them with a smile and sad eyes. Every moment that he breathes, every wasted second, is another deception.
Seth lies and doesn't even realize it.
Ryan, of course, sees this. He understands that Seth does not understand truth anymore, that things such as honesty and reality are now foreign and too far from reach. He watches as Seth manufactures his life, and he doesn't say a word.
Seth tells himself that he is on the outside, that he doesn't want to be inside the circle of Newport, that he doesn't want to be another chest shaven, water polo playing, emo geek beating boy.
And Ryan knows that Seth would give anything to be accepted by the shallow, two deminsoal figures haunting his dreams and nightmares.
Seth tells himself that his mother is okay, that she can get better, that his family and his life will somehow fix itself, create another bubble and click back into place.
And Ryan knows that Seth understands, that he gets that the family around him is deteriorating and won't come back.
Seth tells himself that Summer is his everything, that she is beauty and love, that he has been waiting, dying for years to get close to her, and with her hand that slips so perfectly into his, he's finally gotten everything he ever wanted.
And Ryan knows that Seth doesn't love this girl, that he can't even admit to himself let alone the rest of the world who he truly cares for.
Seth tells himself that he is brave.
And Ryan knows that Seth is a coward.
He doesn't hold it, though. He doesn't feel hurt or anger or betrayal towards Seth, because he knows that the other doesn't even get it, doesn't even comprehend that this is a lie. He doesn't let the frustration, the trials of watching Seth watch him, of loving Seth loving him, get to him.
It is difficult, though, and sometimes it's hard to take it.
Sometimes it's almost too wearing to explain to a boy who thinks the world is gone that he is the only one really living in it.
But Ryan knows, a great many things that people don't give him credit for, and he gets that he needs to wait.
So he does.
He waits, forever, and longer, for Seth to get it. For Seth to catch himself as he lies and doesn't even realize it.
He waits, and he smiles, watching Seth slip through the doors, speed talking and waving arms and smiling despite the dishonesty.
Seth is saying 'Ryan, Ryan', and he doesn't mean it, but Ryan takes it anyway.
He's used to waiting by now.