Because I never knew how to find the pain in your eyes and because I never did notice.
Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or February Song by Josh Groban.
Summary: At times, their feelings came unbidden to the surface and when events like the Annual Military Ball came to push on those feelings, more unbearable became their pain.
Author's Note:
BLUERAINANGEL;
Well, it's been great writting with my close friend, City. Honestly, it's been tons of fun writing this, so I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writting it. Personally, I am quite pleased with this piece because we spent a lot of time at the beginning deciding exactly what we were trying to convey in the first place, and I thought it actually turned out quite well. So, happy reading. Oh yeah, this piece is not Havocai. But apparently, City's rather smitten with him, but of course loves Royai too much to make Havoc and Riza romantically involved.
XX.CITYOFANGEL;
HAHA. I just noticed, both our pennames have the word 'angel' in it! :D. I think I have issues. In any case, it was AWESOME writting this with Mehkana and though at one point we went completely blank and had no idea how to continue this piece, but we finished it. (:
SO THEY DANCE
written by: xx.cityofangel & thebluerainangel
xx
The Annual Military Ball had always been a bittersweet matter for the two of them and she knows this year will serve as no exception.
She twirls in front of the full-length mirror. Despite her friends' insistence that a red dress would bring out her carmine eyes, she'd decided on a white dress. She already knows what colour he will be wearing. Although most military men wore royal blue suits to the ball, Roy will be wearing black. He always will. It is like their own unspoken little tradition, unspoken like so many other things between them.
She finishes the last touches to her hair and perfects the light dusting of make-up on her face. Her eyes turn to her reflection in the mirror and unknowingly, her hand brushes her face in the mirror. She just wishes her eyes aren't so sad as she tries on a smile.
xx
Havoc arrives at her doorstep. Like all of the past balls, he will go as her date and like all the past years it will mean nothing. He knows the routine, they will go to the ball and nodded demurely when they receive compliments from the other couples. They will tell them they are such a lovely couple, and they will question why they have not hooked up for real.
They are right, he supposes, but if they made a 'lovely couple', she and Roy really were something else. He was not blind, when she and Roy were together, they were delicate and exotic and beautiful. And they were a miracle if there ever was one. Yet, they were far from perfect.
Perhaps in a sense, he, himself and Riza would have made a perfect couple. With their matching blonde hair and contrasting contours that complimented both parties, they would have been perfect, and had the world been a perfect place maybe that would have been enough. But there were too many people searching for perfection already, maybe it was imperfection that Riza and Roy were reaching for. Still, they were mystical with his burning eyes and her bold quiet mystique.
Besides, he could never think of her that way. She was like his adopted sister and Roy was someone he dearly respected.
He smiles as she opens the door and she spins in a circle so he can see all of her. He grins and claps appreciatively, leaning forward to give her a one armed hug as his other is currently occupied by flowers. She returns the gesture with both of her arms. "You are beautiful." he whispers into her ear, "He will love it." He can feel her hand clinging to the material of the back of his suit and he strokes up and down her back reassuringly.
He just wishes they did not bear such sad eyes.
xx
She curls distastefully away from the glamour of the building in Havoc's car as they arrive, but she is drawn towards the building.
She grips Havoc's arm as they enter and are almost instantly surrounding by couples greeting them with politely interested glances. They had become something of a favourite couple at the Annual Ball. She feels his hand gripping her waist encouragingly. Her nervousness peaks as she glances around the room inconspicuously, leaving Havoc to answer the inquires of admirers.
Her breath catches when she sees Roy's radiant eyes glancing at her behind a curtain of blonde hair, in the arms of his dance partner. His partner held him close to her and was probably more beautiful than her but her heart has no place for jealousy, not when she knows he cannot love another but her. He holds her eyes for a moment more before shifting back to those of his partner, smile considerably more sweet now.
She feels the eyes of Roy's dance partner searching their little group for the one Roy's eyes held, but undoubtedly she is looking for the more beautiful of the group as Riza turns her gaze and attention back to the conversation at hand, replaying those short seconds that she had held his gaze in her mind. He had not slicked his hair back, she never had liked it slicked.
Her nervousness is inexplicable and she feels Havoc's shoulder brushing hers and takes his hand out of need for reassurance. He squeezes her hand and there aren't moments that she is more glad her brother-figure is there.
xx
Havoc holds her close, and she trembles ever so slightly when they twirl close to Roy and his partner, his eyes catching hers again. Havoc mutters soothing nothings to her and she looks up to him with wide eyes when she can see Roy no longer. Her fear is irrational and his guiding eyes reassure her. His eyes are the only ones that can reassure her more than Roy's can.
The song finishes and somehow Roy is in front of them. Nodding politely, he asks Havoc for her hand in a dance. Havoc hands her to Roy and moves to join the rest of their subordinates at a table, but not before she grips his sleeve with almost panic-like eyes. He touches her shoulders and once again calms her fears as she is taken up in Roy's arms. The song begins and he begins to spin with her in his arms.
She does not have to watch her feet as he will guide her and wishes they weren't so closely tied together because political wars have no place for bonds like theirs. Her head is buried in his shoulder and she is drawn up against him. She peeks up through her lashes to look at his angel eyes. It was that moment so long ago when she'd peered into his eyes that they'd threaded their hearts together irrevocably.
(Just as a side note, if you didn't read the disclaimer, the song they will be 'dancing' to will be February Song by Josh Groban. And yes, it is way out of their time zone, but it fits. I highly recommend you listen to the song if you have not heard it before, and if not, read the lyrics because they really are beautiful and apply so well to Roy and Riza, and Maes, for to me he is the 'old friend' in the song. But maybe I'm just insane. --thebluerainangel)
Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes, opens his eyes
Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life, into this life
She feels his lips next to her ear, "You are absolutely brilliant tonight, Lieutenant." he whispers and she tilts her head up to look at his face. "Thank you. You clean up quite nicely too, Colonel." They both smile wryly. That the military has binded down their wings even in the one moment within the whole year that they can be this close is absolutely infuriating.
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day
The whirl around to the music, and she feels him tugging a strand of her hair fondly, he always had loved doing that. His arms around her waist are comforting and she can feel his weariness. Her heart aches as she knows his does. It should have been their right to be able to be allowed to hold each other as they wished like this. But the military was not a force of justice and they know it.
He runs a hand through her hair and she wishes that their hands didn't have strings pulled by the military tied onto them.
Morning is waking up
And sometimes it's more than just enough
When all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
It's in front of your eyes
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
Sometimes it's hard to find the ground
Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away
From this crazy world
"We are bound." she says on impulse, and he looks strangely at her.
"We are bound." he agrees and the wetness in her eyes is not acknowledged by her as it is not acknowledged by him, either. His blue moon eyes are pained and the silence in strained.
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day
Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes
The song finishes and and he pulls away from her to look at her, between their song and the next were a few seconds, and within those seconds he had never felt the urge to kiss her come on so strongly before. It would be so easy to give them both what they want, all he would have to do is lean in and do that which they have longed to do for so long.
It would be so easy. Her eyes are pleading and in that second he knows for the moment their roles have switched and he is the stronger one, for the time being. He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss against her cheek. It is smooth and rough at the same time as he knows it would be.
"I will not let them bind our wings forever, but I will also not be the one to take away your wings and let you fall into their grasp." he whispers into her ear before bowing with his usual smirk plastered on and leaving her.
She only wishes above that smirk such sad eyes did not reside.
xx
Havoc strides towards her calmly, taking her arm and leading her to the balcony. "You all right?" he murmurs and she turns her eyes from him. She never does like to let anyone see her crying. He leans in to hug her, "If it helps any, you two were absolutely radiant on the dance floor. It won't always have to be hidden like this, you know."
"Mmm." she murmurs, "It would be easier if he did not love me."
"He would not be Roy if he did not love you."
"He would not hurt so much if he did not love me."
He takes her hand and leads her back to the dance floor, he just wishes the day that their eyes no longer are sad will come sooner.
xx
Authors' Note: Finished! We hope you enjoyed that, and read and review! Hope it wasn't too bad!
-- xx.cityofangel & thebluerainangel