Kunimitsu Reads Fan E-Mails

Manji Clan Village, Yamanashi Prefecture,Japan…

Kunimitsu is now the new head of the Manji Clan after the unfortunate demise of Yoshimitsu. Now a mother, Kunimitsu has chosen to live a more recluse life amongst her fellow ninja fellow who once banished her for not fulfilling the duties of the clan. Because she saved the world from total destruction, now the clan feels indebted towards Kunimitsu and has accepted her as their boss. A reporter from a famous magazine decided to enter the village one day, because of Kunimitsu's involvement with the last King of Iron Fist tournament and her growing legend about killing the vampire Stella. Once the interview was complete, Kunimitsu was instructed to read fan emails from people across the world about what's been going on with her life. So let's take a look.

Kunimitsu (thinks): "To think the average person would eventually know about me. Oh well, I guess this might be interesting. Here it goes."

Email #1

Question: "How many years have you spent on the run as a renegade kunoichi?"

Kunimitsu: "About 22 years. I finally stopped two years ago since I replaced the old head of the clan."

Email #2

Question: "Is it true that you have a child? And if so, who is the father? Can you describe him?

Kunimitsu (sighs): "Yes. I do have a child, he's a boy. His 2nd birthday was last month. He's not full Japanese, but somehow his hair is a mixture of mine almost. His father's name I won't reveal. He works as a special agent for a secret company and it's a dangerous job. The dad visits when he has time off. I still love him, but it's hard because I fear for his safety every day. I don't want him to die suddenly without me." (Tearing up).

After 10 minutes, Kunimitsu calms down, and regains her composure.

Kunimitsu: "Forgive me for crying. Let's keep going."

Email #3

Question: "How is life as the leader of the Manji Clan now?"

Kunimitsu: "It's great. I mean the people have accepted me and for the most part they listen to my advice. I don't personally go do missions nearly as much as I used to since I'm a mother now. I let the more experienced members of our clan perform the missions I ask them to do, while the younger ones I keep a closer eye on because I don't want them to get off track like I did or their old master Yoshimitsu. Overall life is slower and boring at times, but I get an urge to go out and help my clansmen help the needy and poor when it's necessary."

Email #4

Question: "Do you ever take off your fox mask?"

Kunimitsu: "Only when I'm at the house. Very few on my clan know my real face. Oh, and the father of my son."

Email #5

Question: "Who was your toughest opponent in your fights?"

Kunimitsu: "By far it was Heihachi in his younger days. I briefly fought against him during the first tournament, but that was to steal his nice pretty watch he was wearing while he sat in his office unaware of my presence. I had no chance against him in strength. To escape I had to use my stink bomb in order to get without a hitch. For some reason he never went after me about it since. Oh well."

Email #6

Question: "What are your measurements?"

Kunimitsu: "No!"

Email #7

Question: "What ever happened to Yoshimitsu?"

Kunimitsu: "He was corrupted by the mythical god specter Ogre. I was forced to slay him. Then another ninja took his title but I killed him too for he was influenced by another demon called Stella. So yeah."

Email #8

Question: "Did you hear about Kazuya's mother being revived?"

Kunimitsu: "I did. I don't know what's going to happen with the Mishima family, but whatever it may be, it will affect the entire world in a bad way. My clan is bracing itself for any ambush done by the Zaibatsu or Kazumi herself. For some reason I don't think her intentions are all that bad. Not sure why."

Email #9

Question: "What is the most expensive thing you have stolen?"

Kunimitsu: "A 22 carat diamond ring I stole from a snobbish politician's wife in Europe. I forget the country, but that was totally worth the steal. I still have it in my collection. Never pawned it for cash. Taking things was so much more fun back in my younger days."

Email #10

Question: "What is your record overall in the tournaments?"

Kunimitsu: "6 wins, 11 losses. Not the best record, but at least I lived to tell about them right?"

Email #11

Question: "Did you always have red hair or is it dyed?"

Kunimitsu: "Believe it or not I am a natural redhead. I also dyed my hair to make in redder, but other than that I'm natural."

Email #12

Question: "Are you really attractive? Why keep the mask on?"

Kunimitsu: "Do you wanna die coward!"

Email #13

Question: "People say you stole clothes from the First Lady of the United States five years ago, is that true?"

Kunimitsu: "No it's not true."

Email #14

Question: "How difficult was it to train in ninjitsu? Was it hard or easy?"

Kunimitsu: "Ninjitsu is very stressful on the body and mind. Its best to train at a young age otherwise you won't be able to fully master and understand certain evasions, spells, or chants. Mental training was probably the worst for me for I was an above average athlete in terms of passing physical exams. It took much concentration and spiritual guidance to pass the mental exams. If you are over 12 years and don't know the basic of ninjitsu I suggest you quit while you're ahead. You won't match the ninjas who have been training since the ages of 3 to 5. You'll get overwhelmed and embarrassed."

Email #15

Question: "Can you estimate how many people you have killed over your career?"

Kunimitsu: "Some ninjas keep a kill count for records. I don't. I know I've killed hundreds if not thousands of adversaries throughout my wandering years."

Email #16

Question: "Do you have children now? If so will you let them become a ninja?"

Kunimitsu: "Yes I have a child, a boy. He will become a ninja in order to survive in this chaotic cruel world."

Email #17

Question: "Kunoichi's can't fall in love can they?"

Kunimitsu: "In the past it wasn't allowed to fornicate with fellow ninja. There were exceptions like using women from other clans as mistresses and wives. Nowadays those rules are no longer necessary. And of course even someone like me can fall in love." (Blushing.)

Email #18

Question: "Kunimitsu will you marry me please?!"

Kunimitsu: "No! Creep!"

Email #19

Question: "Will you return to fight one day?"

Kunimitsu: "Not right now. I'm satisfied with my life currently. Now my duty is with the people of this village. Their protection comes first."

Email #20

Question: "What is the diet of ninja? I need to lose weight really bad."

Kunimitsu: "Avoid foods that will give you body odor like pizza or something. Eat vegetables and rice. I like rice balls personally. Drink plenty of water too and of course workout."

Email #21

Question: "Hey Kunimitsu what are your hobbies now?"

Kunimitsu: "Watching my child play. Doing administration for the village. Fix broken machines. And every now and then recite poems."

Email #22

Question: "Can you really spit fire?"

Kunimitsu: "I don't literally spit fire, I blow it. It takes practice, but anyone can learn to spit fire."

Email #23

Question: "Who do you think will win the next tournament?"

Kunimitsu: "To be honest. I don't know. I'm rooting for Lars personally."

Email #24

Question: "Will you bestow us the honor of showing your boobs?"

Kunimitsu: "Absolutely not!"

Email #25

Question: "Kunimitsu! I'm your greatest fan! Can I please come visit you to make a baby with you! Just one time please?!"

Kunimitsu: "Damn you sickos! Are all my admirers' pervs or something? Ugh!"

Kunimitsu storms off out of her sunroom, leaving the reporter and the laptop behind. We don't know if she will come back to answer more questions in the future. Let's just leave her alone for right now. : /.