Jessica Stanley- The Untold Story
By Sheldon Conch
Two months before Bella's arrival- Jessica Stanley sits at lunch lazily eating her salad and staring at Edward. She takes no notice of the lunchroom commotion going on around her. She only has eyes for Edward.
Oh my god. He's looking at me. He is totally looking at me. I can tell. Like, he's not LOOKING at me but he sort of glanced over here and gave me a look. I mean, he's obviously sitting with his entire family so he can't just stare at me, but he definitely wants to. I get it; he is just playing it cool. I bet he's going to come up to me during English. I mean, he always sits two seats away. Right next to me would be SO obvious, so he has to sit two seats away. That way he can look at me and see everything I am doing but no one will be like, "OMG Edward loves Jessica". He is so cool and brooding, he couldn't be that openly into me. it would ruin his mystique. Mmm, he's so mysterious and handsome and I want to touch his hair. I bet he's a really good kisser. Omg I bet he just sort of stares at you just before he kisses you. Mike didn't stare at me before he kissed me. I mean, okay he was kind of drunk and he might have been staring at me but his eyes were a little glazed over. That was only my second kiss. My first kiss was with Josh Du Pont during Seven Minutes in Heaven at Lauren Mallory's birthday party in eight grade. It was really weird and wet and he kept pinching my boobs. I bet Edward would NEVER pinch a girl's boobs, or if he did it would be like a cool "I'm gonna pinch your boobs but in a nice way" kind of boob pinch. I bet he's had sex before. I'd totally have sex with him. I mean, I'm basically a woman now; I should be having sex. I am 16 and a half. I am going to let my bra strap show during class today so Edward will notice. Or maybe take my bra off and stand outside in the cold for a while before class. He'd HAVE to notice that. I bet if I did Mike or Erik would notice though. God, they are SO immature. Edward is totally a MAN and they are BOYS. I need a man like Edward. Yesterday I saw Mike light one of his farts on fire. They are children. I am so much better than them. I am pretty enough to get with Edward. I mean, who else does he have to chose? Yeah, I mean his family is creepy and gorgeous and weird, but he can't date them. They are all already dating each other. I would say they are freaks but when you are that good looking the rules of society don't really apply to you so you can date your adopted sister. Jesus what if they adopt a new kid for him to marry? I bet she'll be blonde Maybe I'll push her down the stairs. Maybe she'll push ME down the stairs and Edward will save me and he'll pick my up in those big strong arms and look deep in my eyes and ask me if I'm alright but I'll be too faint to speak so he'll lean down and kiss me so passionately that I'll wake up and be completely healed them he'll carry me to his car, kissing me the entire way…. OH MY GOD HE'S LOOKING OVER AT ME AGAIN HE TOTALLY LIKES ME.
One month before Bella's arrival- Jessica and Edward are paired up together in English class for a project. They have to work together all week, much to Edward's chagrin. Jessica's constant internal stream of babble irritates Edward, especially as he attempts to let her down easily.
She is fantasizing about me again. This has been going on for months. At first it was only a mild annoyance, her ceaseless thoughts of me were easy to tune out. But after she watched The Notebook again and decided that she wanted to make love to me… well let us say that it might be time to end this.
"So… hey, like, what should we do for the project. I was thinking we should do our project on Pride and Prejudice. I mean I like didn't read the book or anything but the movie is sooo romantic and beautiful. You could come over to my house and watch it later if you want or something. I think my parents are gone tonight so we could really um… study", she said.
Studying was the last thing on her mind. I can't let this go on.
"I do not think I can make it tonight. Why don't you work on reading the novel and I will start my half of the project?" I pleaded that she would accept this.
Do not ask me to come over. I can read your thoughts. You have the disturbing mind of a sexually repressed Puritan. Please stop thinking about me.
"Yeah, I think it is reaaaally important that we get together soon to… finish the project. Maybe I could come over to your house? I've never been. I bet your house is sooooooo nice." I could tell she thought her voice was full of sexuality. She sounded like a cheap prostitute trying to make enough money to buy the kind of alcohol that would make her forget her life.
"No. In fact, Mike Newton asked me earlier if he could be your partner. Why don't we trade? It would be much easier if I could work with my sister on this project. You would be better off with Mike. I will not make a good partner. Mike. Not me. Mike." I don't think there was any lighter way of putting that. Mike Newton has been dreaming about her for weeks, so I am sure he would be willing to work with Jessica.
Oh my goodness. She thinks I am asking to trade partners in some kind of twisted plot to let her know that I love her. She is imagining our wedding. I may miss school for the next few days if I have to listen to this swill.
The day of Bella's arrival- Jessica's adoration of Edward has waned slightly. She now has her sights set on Mike, a much easier prize. Edward is still her secret love, but Mike is more willing. Plus, she thinks Edward might be gay.
Oh my god, literally ALL I have heard people talk about today is that freaking new girl. Blah, blah, blah, ella this and ella that. Jesus, she's not THAT special. I mean, yeah, I haven't met her or anything but just because she's from Arizona doesn't mean she's the fucking queen of the world. oh my god, here she comes. She is so PALE. She is from Arizona! How did she never get any sun there? She is almost as pale as Edward. Not nearly as beautiful, though. NO. NO. He is gay. I mean, he didn't get any of my advances. He must be gay. What kind of teenage boy doesn't get that a girl wants to sleep with him?
Later
She was in my Trig AND my Spanish classes. She is probably stalking me. I was nice enough to let her come to lunch with me, even though she is obviously a bitch. I mean, I've been talking to her non-stop and she barely says one word. I am just trying to help her understand this school and how everything works around here and she is just being a stuck up bitch. We get it, you're new, that doesn't mean you are better than the rest of us. She's the WORST. But every single freaking boy is OBSESSED with her. I mean, Mike won't stop staring at her. She's not even that pretty. Even if she got out of her coffin once in a while, she's nothing to write home about. But still, I am getting tons of attention by being her friend. I obviously have the low down on how horrible she is so everyone will want to talk to me. This is better than the day I saw Aaron get an erection when Ms. Callahan leaned over and her top slipped down and everyone wanted to hear the story. Still, why do they care about her? GOD. Ugh, the Cullens are here. Stop wafting around. I am in a bad mood today. Edward IS handsome, but whatever. I mean all gay guys are handsome right? Omg, she's asking me about them.
"Who are they?" Ella or whatever asked
I started giggiling at her. Of course she was in love with them already. "That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." I said it quietly because I always felt like the Cullens could hear everything. Like they knew people were talking about them. Stuck up.
"They are… very nice-looking." She said. What a freaking understatment. Hello, they are like super models. I mean, judging by YOU they don't make them very well in Arizona.
"Yes!" I said trying not to laugh at her, "They're all together though -Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." The Cullens didn't do much, but the idea of them was awesome gossip. I mean, we're like 16, who lives with their boyfriend at 16? And dating their family? Freaks. Gorgeous freaks, but whatever.
"Which ones are the Cullens?" She asked. "They don't look related…"
"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins — the blondes — and they're foster children." I said
"They look a little old for foster children." Oh my god, she's so stupid. Just accept it and move on.
She made me explain like their WHOLE story. This is the most she's talked to me all day. She's the worst.
She is just staring at them. Creep. If she was pretty she'd belong right in their little freak gang. Mike is looking at me. I'm definitely not going to look back. I am too good to look at him.
"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" She asked. Of course she was interested in Edward. OF COURSE.
"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." That should put her off. She thinks she can get with him. I mean, if I can't then a nobody like her DEFNITLEY can't. OMG. He is looking at her. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.
Three years later- Jessica is sitting in her chair waiting for Bella and Edward's wedding to start. She is with Mike now, but she still harbors some resentment towards Bella for stealing Edward away.
Who gets MARRIED at 18? I mean, she's obviously pregnant, but still. I hope you can see her baby bump in her dress. I mean, GOD, how could she do that to Edward? I bet he didn't even want to marry her. I bet her weird cop dad made them get married. I bet she is secretly creepy religious. Oh my god, what if she is in some kind of cult? What if the Cullens are a cult? I mean they moved away all of the sudden then just moved back and Bella went NUTS when it happened. I bet they brainwashed her and left her to test her devotion and now they are marrying her into the cult. They are so weird. I hope their baby comes out ugly. I can't even believe I had to come to this. I don't even like Bella that so much. And I had to come here with MIKE. I mean, he's fine and whatever but I bet the Cullens have really hot cousins and I am here with boring Mike. He might actually be the least interesting person I know. And the sex isn't even that good. I bet Edward and Bella have really good sex. God. She is so horrible. My life was great until she came along and ruined everything. Everyone always talks about her and wonders what she's doing and why she's so weird and mysterious. I bet she and Edward are both just secretly boring people who want everyone to think they are cool so they act like they have all of this really important stuff going on. I mean, at least Mike doesn't hide how lame he is. I hope their boring wedding leads to a boring life until boring Edward has an affair with hot, successful, rich future me… Omg it is starting. I hope she looks fat in her dress. I hope she trips. My spanx hurt. Mike keeps poking me. There she is. You can't tell she's pregnant. But she does have those dead eyes. She's not even that pretty. God ,I hate her.