CHAPTER ONE

Clarke left Bellamy's embrace. She dared to look at Camp Jaha one last time before taking a slow and final turn away. She did not know when or if she would return. The only thing she knew was that her decision would weigh down on her for the rest of her life. She could not look into the eyes of her mother or her friends without seeing those she had sacrificed for them.

She began to walk into the forest. With the Mountain Men and their Reapers gone, Clarke didn't think she had anything to fear. But would the Grounders still honor the alliance she made with Lexa? The thought furrowed her brow and slowed her pace. She tried thinking as a Grounder. Are Sky people still the enemy to them?

The thought didn't last long. She was interrupted by a vision of a young boy, laying on the ground and covered in blisters. She quickened her pace, running to the boy. He needed her mother's medical attention. But she stopped as she realized she had seen the boy before. He was from the Mountain. Clarke bent down, now at the edge of the tree line, cautiously advancing toward the boy. She felt her eyes swell with tears. She felt a pain in her chest that had been there since the Mountain, but now grew fiercer as if it would take her whole. Her hands floated above the boy's broken and lifeless body.

"I didn't have a choice!" Clarke sobbed. "I had to get my people out! Their lives were in danger! I had no choice!" Her voice broke into a scream that drifted into the forest. Birds flew out of the trees, disturbed from the shrill. Clarke remained there, on her knees, sobbing for a moment. The boy locked eyes with her. She thought she saw resentment in his eyes, but as they looked at each other, she realized it was pity.

She closed her eyes, trying to get the image out of her mind. Instead, when she opened them she was surrounded not only by the dead boy, but of Mountain Men - and Mountain Women, and Mountian Children - sprawled in the glade behind her and the trees before her. She sat on the ground, her sobs still stifling her screams. She grabbed her knees in front of her, and rocked herself gently.

When Clarke's tears ran dry, the sun was already declining. She hesitated. Do I turn back? I will have shelter and food. But I will have to face my mother. I can't bear it. She instead got up and pierced through the trees. She was heading no where in particular. Her actions were thoughtless and robotic. The blistered bodies still surrounded her, popping up before her to be constantly in her sight. But she was able to swerve through them in the forest, keeping her gaze on the ground in front of her. She kept reminding herself of Lexa's words, repeating them over in her mind, trying to find the strength to overcome her emotions. Sacrifice. I did what was necessary to save my people.

Clarke had already been on the move for hours, but she felt no hunger or exhaustion. She instead felt like a shell of a human being, hollow on the inside. I do not deserve to feel pain. Not after the pain I've caused. Instead, she kept moving.

When the sun finally set, Clarke snapped out of it and realized where she was. While her mind was within itself, her body had taken her to Tondc. She stopped in her tracks. The shell of what it once was, Tondc was eerily quiet. The hole in the center of the town pulled Clarke to the ground, where she once again began to sob, this time quietly to herself.

While she was taken away by another pang of guilt, Clarke heard footsteps approaching. She collected herself and stood up, facing Indra.

"Clarke of the Sky People. What are you doing here?" Indra demanded.

Clarke hesitated. She truly didn't know why she had ended up here, or where she was meaning to go. She decided to reveal that truth to Indra. "I couldn't face them. Not after what I've done."

Indra stiffened. "What have you done?"

"After the retreat, I stayed behind. We were able to get them out. But not before we killed every single person in the Mountain. Everyone is dead."

Indra scoffed, "So much for your rescue mission. Like I said, Blood Must have Blood." She awaited Clarke's argument, but was disappointed. Clarke only looked down at her feet and furrowed her brow, trying not to break down for a third time that day.

"I should inform the Commander that the Mountain Men are gone, and our deal is off."

Clarke's head swiftly came up, her face displaying a deep hatred upon hearing the Commander mentioned. "She's here?"

"Of course. The funeral for those killed by the missile is being held this evening. The Commander felt it necessary to attend. I don't suppose I have to tell you why." Indra answered.

Clarke began toward Indra. "I need to talk to her." Indra hesitated, but let her pass. She wanted to see how this would pan out.