Don't own them, but it's fun to mess with them anyway. :)

Enjoy -Coffee

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Lucius Malfoy had a problem. A very big problem. A problem that a thousand cold showers and late night flogging sessions could not fix...

He was in love.

Of course, this was no ordinary love. This was the product of some twisted deity playing a sick game with his emotions.

Naturally, the object of his passionate affections had no idea, and Lucius was sure he could never make his feelings known, because of course, he hadn't fallen for a normal person.

There was no way in hell Lucius Malfoy would ever admit how those bat-like ears turned him on, or how those watery tennis-ball eyes made him want to prance about like a pony in heat.

Yes, it was true. He, Lucius Malfoy, had fallen for none other than Dobby, the house-elf.

Lucius slumped into his favorite chair in the living room of his mansion. How could this have happened to him? Every time he thought about that hot little elfin body clothed in the dirty pillowcase...

The door behind him opened and Dobby entered the room with a feather duster in his hand.

"May Dobby dust the room, Sir?" asked the squeaky voice Lucius heard in his dreams.

"Yes," he replied gruffly, silently wishing that Dobby would use the feather duster on his naked body instead of the end table he was currently working on.

Lucius cursed his luck. It didn't help that he hadn't had any sex in nearly a month, not since that one time he'd asked Narcissa to play "House elf and Master." She'd been greatly offended when he'd cried out "Oooh! Spank me HARDER Dobby!" and had only just begun speaking to him again.

Dobby had finished dusting. He turned to look at Lucius, blinking meekly.

"May Dobby begin polishing the furniture, Sir?" he asked timidly.

"Get on with it then!" hissed Lucius. He watched as Dobby took a clean rag and began to wipe down the rich wood furniture in the room. Lucius caught himself drooling as he imagined Dobby performing those same movements on certain parts of his body.

He wished he didn't have to be so mean to Dobby, but he was afraid that if he were to be nicer, he might accidentally blurt out that he wanted to ride Dobby like Shamu the Whale, and then there would be trouble.

Sighing, Lucius wondered if he would ever be able to let Dobby know how he felt. He was so tired from keeping it all bottled up inside. He wanted a hot piece of house-elf ass, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Dobby was still polishing when Lucius suddenly made up his mind. He was going to let Dobby know how he felt, and he was going to do it now.

Lucius waited until Dobby was finished cleaning all the funiture. The house-elf moved to leave the room when Lucius spoke.

"Dobby,"

"Yes, Master?" Dobby asked, turning to face him.

Lucius cleared his throat nervously.

"Erm, there's one more thing I'd...er...like you to polish," he said, and unzipped his trousers.

"Oh!" cried Dobby, looking surprised, but pleased. "Dobby is going to need a bigger rag!"

The End.