{Majo's Son}
{By Katra Winner}
~~~
It was a warm and sunny day, the kind of days that boys take their girlfriends out for lunch and then walk in parks. The kind of day that makes everybody feel happy and peaceful. It was on these days that even Inuyasha was able to forget all of the impending problems, and simply be. Exist without contemplating his right to life.
Also on days like these, Sango could act like an ordinary girl, giggling with Kagome as the future girl introduced her friend to the marvels of modern make-up, clothes, and everything else under the sun that was available in Kagome's time but not in the Sengoku Jidai. And so the ex-taiji-ya sat there, Kirara in her lap, leaning up against a tree next to Kagome, who had Shippou in her own lap. Inuyasha lounged up in a tree above, with Miroku sitting close to Sango. For a change, it was silent.
Kagome was reading a book, he noticed. Interesting. Whatever it was, it was probably something she had to read for a "test". Te-su-to. What a funny word. Those gaijin must confuse themselves trying to pronounce their weird language.
"What are you reading, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the group.
"It's a really sad book called Shizuko's Daughter. It's a story about a girl whose mother kills herself."
Inuyasha's ears pricked up slightly at the summary. He slumped against the tree, old memories surfacing. Unwanted, unneeded memories that reminded him of a dark time, when it wasn't even safe to play with some rocks if teenage boys were nearby. A time when...He shook his head to clear it. If he was going to be strong, it would be best to forget about those years.
"Tell us more about it, Kagome-sama," Miroku requested. "It's a good day for a story."
"I don't know," Kagome said hesitantly. "This is a really sad book. I don't want to ruin the day. It really is such a nice day."
"Come on," Sango urged. "Our stories are sadder than any book."
"True," Kagome agreed. "Inuyasha? You okay with hearing a story?"
"Bah."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Anyway, once there was a girl named Okuda Yuki. She was an only child, but very close to her mother. Her father she felt as though she barely knew – he didn't get home from work until very late at night. One day, after coming home from a piano lesson-"
"What's a piano?" Shippou interrupted.
"It's a Western instrument. A lot of people learn to play it. So after Yuki got home, the house smelled like gas. She went into the kitchen, looking for her mother, and saw her lying on the ground. After turning off the gas, she found out that her mother wasn't breathing anymore. Shizuko was dead. There was a note on the table addressed to Yuki from Shizuko saying that people will talk, but no matter what, believe that she will love her daughter and not to let this drag her down.
"A year later, her father remarried to his secretary."
"Only a year?" Sango asked, frowning slightly. "Not very faithful, was he?"
"Yeah, it turns out why he got home so late every night was because he was sleeping with his secretary," Kagome said, her tone disgusted. "But during Hideki and Hanae's wedding, Yuki smashed the sake bowl."
"Ouch," Miroku said, wincing. "Lively girl, wasn't she?"
"As Yuki grew up, she felt her mother's absence more than anything. Hanae, her stepmother, usually ignored her – and when she did speak, the words were cruel. Yuki was considered a fabulous stepdaughter – she was a sort of leader of her class at school, she was on the track team and won many awards, and she was an accomplished artist. But she felt alone in her house where her father ignored her and her stepmother disliked her simply because she was Hideki's last part of Shizuko."
"After graduating from high school, Yuki told Hanae and Hideki that she would be leaving from their house in the Tokyo Island to Nagasaki. There, she would attend college without their financial support.
"Soon after beginning school, Yuki's grandfather died. Heart attack. And that's as far as I've gotten."
"That is sad," Sango said. "I mean, Shizuko loved her daughter, but how could she kill herself? What kind of mother leaves her child alone? How old was Yuki?"
"Only twelve when Shizuko died. The book is at its saddest when Yuki is thinking of how people say things to her like, 'Your mother would have been very proud...' and she can almost hear them mentally adding on, '...if she hadn't killed herself.' ".
"She wasn't a very good mother, then," Miroku commented. "How could she just leave Yuki behind like that?"
"Bah." Inuyasha said, then stormed off angrily.
Shippou wrinkled his brow in confusion. "Who yanked on his ears?"
~~~
That night, Kagome sat reading by the fire long after the others had gone to sleep. Inuyasha, ever vigilant, watched her as the pages flipped slowly. "You should go to sleep," Inuyasha said quietly. "We're getting up early tomorrow."
"Uh-huh," Kagome said absentmindedly.
Inuyasha scoffed. "Why are you reading that book, anyhow?"
Kagome folded back the corner of the page, closed the book, and looked up at Inuyasha. "Because a friend of mine in America read it, and said it was really good. She translated the whole book by herself and sent it to me. I chose it for my book report."
"Why did it need to be translated?" Inuyasha asked.
"It was originally published my Mori Kyoko in America. The book was written in English. I know some English, but not enough to read a whole book the length and caliber of Shizuko's Daughter."
Silence. Inuyasha's face was half hidden by the darkness, the flickering lights of the dying fire embers highlighting what part of his hair she could see; bringing out his deep golden eyes. Over the time she had known him, it had gotten easier and easier to discover his real thoughts an emotions that he concealed behind that near-impenetrable mask of loneliness. Now it was child's play most of the time to correctly guess what he was thinking about. She could tell by the tense clench of his jaw and the sad anger and regret in his eyes when he was thinking of Kikyou.
Today's reaction to Miroku and Sango's comments probably touched him inwardly. Most likely something to do with his mother. Perhaps his mother had killed herself, or died when he was young. Kagome mentally slapped herself over that one. Well, duh, she died when he was young! That much she had gleaned from what little information he was willing to share, Myouga-jiji, and their encounter with Mu-Onna.
"So," she said casually. "What made you so upset earlier today? Was it something somebody said?"
He grunted in response. Kagome rolled her eyes. "Answer me, Inuyasha. It's not like I'll tell anybody. How long have you been traveling with me? Six months, right? Yeah. You can trust me! I'm not Sesshoumaru or something. It's just me."
"Ofukuro drowned herself when I was five years old," Inuyasha said softly. "She jumped into the pond on the palace grounds. Normally, she would have lived, but she had her court kimono on, and she was tired. She chose to die right after I went to sleep."
Kagome covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought the book here, and it was stupid of me to, I'm just so sorry, and, um," – and from there, she just babbled, her words running together. Inuyasha reached over and shook her.
"Kagome," he said firmly. "Shut up." Abruptly, her mouth snapped shut. His sensitive ears caught the faint click of her teeth.
"So...so you were the one who found her body?" Kagome asked, her voice humble, yet curious.
"No," Inuyasha said bitterly. "She'd forgotten that she had a hanyou son. I heard the splash. I went running just as she slipped under. She told me that there was a note for me on the table. I tried to save her, but I was too young. If I had been just a year older..." his voice trailed off here.
"I'm sorry I brought it up," Kagome whispered.
"It's okay," Inuyasha mumbled, closing his eyes. He smelled her scent envelop his air space, felt her head drop onto his knee as she sat on the ground near him, half leaning on the log he sat on, half on the hanyou. Tentatively, he reached down and buried one of his hands in her soft raven locks. He continued stroking as he began to speak. "I was always just 'Majo's Demon Son' in court. They didn't recognize that I had a name. I was blamed for her death. That was when life really started to suck."
He was silent for a long time then, the crackling of the fire a slight distraction. "Tell me more," Kagome muttered sleepily, her head drooping. Inuyasha reached down and propped it up slightly, continuing his caressing of her head.
"Go to sleep," he said softly.
"No," she argued tiredly. "I want you to talk to me. I want you to trust me. I want to always be by your side."
"But..."
"Kikyou is dead," she scolded firmly. "And when she dies with you, what little soul she has left will return to me. You'll be all alone. I don't want you to be alone."
"I'm not worth worrying over," Inuyasha replied sadly.
"Idiot. You're more than worth worrying over. What did that note your mother left you say?"
"That she loved me. A sketch of my father. A bunch of other stuff. What does a mother tell her six year old son in a letter stating that she's going to kill herself, leaving him all alone?"
"Do you still have it?"
"Yeah. I stole one of your plastic bag-things and put it in there so it won't crumble away. It was already in really bad shape anyhow."
"Can I read it?"
"I'll read it to you." Inuyasha pulled a plastic baggie from his hakama pocket, then opened it and unfolded an old piece of paper. He cleared his throat.
" 'If you are reading this, then I am already dead, and you have probably discovered my body. I'm so sorry that this had to happen when you were so young. The sad truth of the matter is that I couldn't stand going on. I, Majo, have given up. I realize that this is unfair to you and that I should probably wait until you are aged fifteen years, the legal youkai age for maturity and leaving your parents behind. But I just can't put this off for five years. If I did, it would be put off forever and I would suffer. I beg you to understand, my baby, and to believe that while I am sad that you will grow up alone, I am happy that my own suffering will soon end. I love you, forever and always. Please understand that neither your nor your father is at fault. I love you..." here the hanyou's voice cracked, and he began breathing deeply, trying to fight tears.
Tears were for weaklings. Kagome reached up and cupped his face to her palm. "I love you too," she said softly. I know why she had to leave you, and I think she wouldn't want you to die. Not with or for anybody – and that includes Kikyou. Majo-san died for herself, because she could not withstand the pain of life anymore. I guess it was the pain of seeing you growing up being treated like a monster. I-I don't want you to die. Not for me, not for Kikyou, not for anybody or anything. You deserve life."
Inuyasha stroked Kagome's hair again. "I promised her, Kagome..."
"You promised an empty shell of hatred and evil. She lives again in me – a separate part of me, and dying for her is pointless. What would you do if she were to suddenly die?"
"Go back to becoming a true youkai, I guess."
"You guess?"
"...Yeah."
"Don't die."
"I'll...think about it."
"Good." Kagome rested her head on Inuyasha's leg. "If you die, I'll kill myself," she mumbled drowsily.
"Why?"
"So you won't be alone anymore..."
~~~
Wauw – I managed to write a fanfiction that wasn't anti-Kikyou! I really like this one. Shizuko's Daughter is a real book, by the way. It's a wonderful story. You should try and get it. As stated in the fiction, it's by Kyoko Mori (this is the Western placing of her name; I thought the Japanese style was more appropriate for this story).
As always, review.
-Katra Winner