Title: Miscommunication
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Aubrey/Beca
Rating: R
Summary: After giving birth, Aubrey doesn't feel attractive anymore.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 1,690
A/N: prompt from hailsbails01: after just having a baby aubrey feels the pressure to lose the baby weight for beca and feels like she's not beautiful or sexy anymore. So this took an unexpected turn. Hopefully, it's kind of what you were looking for.
Wiping the sweat from her face with a towel, Aubrey steps into the bathroom. She stops and listens for a moment, but the baby monitor is quiet. Evan is still sleeping. Despite feeling good about her workout, Aubrey doesn't look in the mirror as she strips. Aubrey knows that two weeks isn't enough for any noticeable changes to her body.
Ever since she gave birth to Evan, a few weeks ago, she's felt like a pathetic lump. She always knew that there would be extra weight after her son was born, but Aubrey hadn't realized how unattractive it would make her feel.
But what makes it even worse is the change that it has brought in her wife. It feels like months since they've made love. She'd been nine months pregnant and feeling disgusting, but Beca had still kissed her like they'd been separated for years instead of hours. And when Aubrey came, it was because Beca had been whispering how fucking gorgeous Aubrey looked pregnant.
Where is that enthusiasm now, Aubrey wonders. How can her wife claim to find her so incredibly sexy when she's pregnant, but then barely glance her way once Aubrey had given birth?
Aubrey wants to talk to Chloe about it, but she's embarrassed. When Chloe gave birth to Amelia last year, the red head never complained about Jason's interest in her sexually, dropping.
It makes Aubrey wonder if she made a mistake choosing Beca. The blonde always knew that Beca would eventually lose interest. She's just surprised that the brunette's interest lasted long enough for marriage and a child.
Still, Aubrey supposes she should be grateful. Her wife still dotes on her, calling her love, cooking whatever Aubrey wants for dinner, bringing home flowers, not staying too late at the office and in general being much sweeter than Aubrey thought possible.
The water feels good and she tries to enjoy it and not worry about how much weight she's losing. She hates her current obsession with her weight. But she also misses the hungry way that Beca's eyes used to follow her around the room.
Beca assures Aubrey that she's still beautiful and Beca may really believe her own words, but she's not acting like it. The only kisses Aubrey has received from Beca over the past month have been pecks to her cheek and it's left the blonde feeling like she's living with a sibling and not her wife.
Which is why she started her new intense workout regime last week. She's going to get back into pre baby weight, so that her wife will want her again. She worked too hard on her relationship with Beca to let it all slip away over something like this.
...
Despite being ecstatic about the birth of her son, Beca's feeling a bit overwhelmed. Work has been frantic, causing her to bring home as much work as possible, so she's not staying too late at the office. She kind of hates the idea of Aubrey being home alone with the baby for too long. And it's not like she wants to be at work, she'd much rather be home with her family, but Simon's finally starting to trust her instincts and let her make a lot more final decisions about various projects lately. She doesn't want to risk losing his trust by disappearing for a month or so for maternity leave. She would though, if Aubrey really wanted her too, but her wife had brushed off such offers.
Truth be told, Beca's feeling a bit off balance. She's torn between wanting to lovingly dote on Aubrey as the mother of their son or fuck her until they're both too exhausted to move because damnit, if her wife isn't really fucking sexy post pregnancy. Aubrey had been hot as hell when she was pregnant, but now Beca finds her hotter than ever.
She keeps this to herself. Aubrey just gave birth and sex is probably the last thing on her mind. After all, it had taken a great deal of effort to convince Aubrey how sexy she made pregnancy look. And even though day dreams of making love to her wife help her get through her long days at work, Beca doesn't say anything to Aubrey. She doesn't want her to feel pressured about sex.
Beca also wants to be around more because Aubrey seems to really be out of sorts. Beca can't really put her finger on why, but something's definitely bothering the blonde. Unfortunately, every time Beca wants to bring it up, it's never a good time: one of their cell phones will ring or Aubrey is obviously exhausted or Evan will start crying.
But what worries Beca the most is how clingy Aubrey seems to have become. They'll go to sleep spooning, like usual, but in the morning, Beca will wake up on her back with Aubrey on top of her, wrapped around Beca so tightly, that the brunette doubts that even a piece of paper would fit between them. She's not complaining, but it's something she never expected from Aubrey. Even when they first started dating, Aubrey would just tell Beca what she needed. The brunette supposes that she had to, because Beca tended to be a bit clueless about things in the beginning. Beca quickly lost track of the number of times Aubrey called her an idiot and explained what she meant versus what Beca interpreted. And since Beca seemed open to her elucidations, Aubrey continued sharing them.
Beca wants to offer reassurances, but without knowing what specifically is bothering Aubrey means that Beca might unintentionally say the wrong thing and make things worse. She just needs to make a better effort to really talk with her wife. But until she does, she'll just have to work on making sure Aubrey knows how much Beca adores her.
...
Beca's being even sweeter than she was when Evan was first born, which Aubrey didn't think was possible. Right after Aubrey came home from the hospital, Beca had waited on her hand and foot, not wanting her to tire herself out. Beca had backed off a bit after a few days, but she seems to reverting back. Which just seems to reinforce Aubrey's belief that Beca is no longer attracted to her. She feels more like a favored relative that Beca's trying to impress.
She finally loses it during dinner one night. Beca had insisted that Aubrey just sit and look pretty while she serves the food. The comment gave Aubrey hope that maybe her wife still finds her attractive, but then the brunette had set a plate of chicken stir fry in front of Aubrey and kissed the top of her head.
It's really the last straw. Aubrey tries to calm herself because she knows her temper is worse than normal because of the hormones, but as she watches Beca quietly eat across the table, she can no longer hold back.
"Are you still attracted to me?"
"What?" Beca says, her month full of food.
"I said," Aubrey replies. "Do you still find me attractive?"
"Of course I do."
"Are you sure?" Aubrey asks. "Because you've been treating me more like your sister lately than you wife."
"I... I have?"
Aubrey nods. "So if you think I'm fat and ugly now, you should just say so."
"What? How did yo— what?"
Aubrey sighs. "I know the baby weight makes me repulsive to you—"
"It doesn't," Beca interjects.
Aubrey holds up her hand. "It's okay. I've had time to accept it. And I'm fine with it now."
Beca is staring at her and Aubrey watches her expression go from disbelief to confusion to sadness to resignation and finally determination. The blonde's not quite sure how to interpret that.
She's about to reassure Beca that it's fine, when the brunette jumps up. Before Aubrey can response, Beca has pulled her up by her shirt and pushed Aubrey against the nearest wall. She grunts at the unexpected impact, but before she can berate Beca, she's being kissed, well more like devoured. Aubrey wraps her arms around her wife and pulls her closer, their bodies melding together.
As Beca's hands slide under her shirt and cup her breasts, Aubrey lets out a moan, glad that she's not wearing a bra.
"Do you have any idea," Beca says, her fingers eagerly thumbing Aubrey's nipples. "How fucking hot you are? It's taken every ounce of control I have not to jump you constantly."
Aubrey lets out a strangled "What?!" as Beca's leg slips between hers.
"Hell yeah," Beca growls. "I thought seeing your pregnant was bad, but god, now you're so fucking tempting that I have to take a cold shower every morning."
"That explains your shorter than usual showers lately," Aubrey manages just before Beca is yanking her pants down.
"Well now I can get my revenge," Beca grins before dropping to her knees and pushing Aubrey's left leg over her shoulder.
"It's not my fault that— oh my god, yeeess..."
It's been far too long and Aubrey is coming sooner than she'd like. However, Beca doesn't stop and soon Aubrey finds herself coming again, crying out as Beca keeps licking to draw out her orgasm. Feeling boneless, she leans against the wall, trying to catch her breath as Beca pulls Aubrey's pants back up and has her sit back down at the table.
As her heart rate slows, Aubrey watches Beca sit back down, lick her lips and fingers clean and then return to eating dinner.
"What?" Beca exclaims. "Now that I got to eat what I really wanted, I can concentrate on my food."
Aubrey chuckles and reaches for the glass of water in front of her. She gulps most of it down and watches Beca eat, predatorily.
"You should eat," Beca tells her.
"That's not what I'm hungry for right now," Aubrey retorts.
Beca grins. "Maybe not, but you're going to need it."
"Oh?"
Beca nods. "We have weeks to make up for, Bree. And you totally owe me."
"I owe you?"
Beca just offers her a challenging smirk.
"Oh, it is so on, Mitchell."