Stupid Rose Bushes

James wanted Lily to make up her mind - and she did. / pairing: James + Lily / raiting: T / words: 3400 / written by Enele

"Lily, I'm being serious. I love you, the whole school knows that. But this situation is getting out of hand, I don't understand what you're doing. I'm so done with this. Tell me – do you love me?"

"Whoa, no, no, you're completely wrong!", she laughed, sneering. "I do not love you. What gave you that idea?"

"Bloody hell!", he cried. "I don't believe you! I'm not blind – you follow every little step of me and keep making eyes and touching me all the time. But on the next day you treat me like I was, I don't know, Mulciber or someone like that! It freaks me out! Pull yourself together and finally make a decision!"

She looked outraged.

"Look," James said calmer. "I'm open to everything. Mates, best friends, girlfriend and boyfriend, enemies, whatever. I just need clarity. Otherwise you hurt me. Find out what you want, pal."

He turned around and ran down the corridor.

There he was. Dinner was about to start and he sat together with his Quidditch team mates at the Gryffindor table. They were having a lively discussion and suddenly burst into laughter because of something he had said.

He had been hard to her and she doesn't know if she is still welcome. She took a deep breath and walked to him. Upright. She was so very, very nervous but she didn't want anybody to see it. She, although she was full of emotions, would . Not. Cry.

She was a Gryffindor after all.

She finally stood behind him and quietly raised her voice. "James …?"

He quickly turned around. When he recognized her, he looked surprised. "Lily!"

She looked into his face, saw his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his eyebrows. Suddenly it was very difficult to speak.

"Yes?", he asked.

She swallowed and said: "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yes, sure!", he said and waited for her to speak.

With a look to the Quidditch players around him she whispered: "Alone."

He nodded and left his friends. He took the lead and manoeuvred them, with a hand on her back, through the crowd of hungry students arriving in the Great Hall. She couldn't see his face because he was taller than her and looked ahead. With every step, she lost her nerves more and more.

As they walked trough the Entrance Hall, they were accompanied by whispers. James took his hand from her back. Suddenly she felt rejected. She had to admit that she had liked the feeling of his warm hand on her back and the naturalness, the implicitness. Now he lead her to the Grounds as if this was simply business. She tried to put on a business face as well and failed miserably.

She was crestfallen and she could not blame him. After how she dealt with him, it was a surprise that he agreed to talk to her at all. He still had his arm around her – he had didn't touch her but she could still sense his hand close to her back.

"So?", he asked as he stopped next to some rose bushes. The grounds were dead, everyone was at dinner.

They looked at each other. He was not as grim as she expected him to be, no, his face looked rather soft and warm and gentle. And he had agreed to talk to her; so maybe there was a slight chance after all. A minimal, tiny chance that – Oh god, she was such a nervous wreck. She tried to pull herself together. "Well … eh … I ..."

He gave an annoyed groan and ruffled his hair. "Lily, just say it!"

She grimaced slightly. How was she going to do that? She had never done anything similar before, had no experience whatsoever. And James didn't look very easy, now, too? The only way she could do this was to go for it.

She took a deep breath and said: "I … I've been thinking a lot in the past few days … and weeks."

James breathed in and out. "About what?", he asked.

God, didn't he know? She tried to avoid his eyes. They made her go mad. They were so deep, so brown. Like a deer. "About … you and me, us … I wondered a lot about it." She found a small dirty spot on his shirt at her eye level and started to stare intensively at it. "And I think I finally made a conclusion."

She could see how James' Adam's apple jumped as he swallowed. "Oh-kay", he said. "Which conclusion did you make?"

Looking him in the eyes clearly was a mistake. Why the hell was this so hard? She let out a squeaking noise.

"IrealisedthatIdoloveyou – anddecidedthatIreallywouldliketobeyourgirlfriend?"

"What?", James said. "Wait, what?"

There it was. Out. She said it. She didn't dare to say it again or to do anything else. She pressed her lips together and watched him. He was so close … she could see every pore of his face, his sunburn, every hair of his eyebrows, eyelashes, laughter lines, even some freckles. She could hear and feel his breathing, the movements of his chest, the airstream out of his nose. She could see how he slowly realised what she had said, how his posture changed, that he held his breath. Her own heart beat excitedly, she was kind of short of breath, too, and started to breath through her nose faster because her lips were still pressed together.

"Wait a sec ...", James said and hesitated. "Did I get that right? You – you, Lily Evans … want to be my girlfriend?"

She nodded. He looked puzzled and his mouth stood open. He breathed hard. Then he wet his lower lip with his tonque and asked: "Are you sure?"

She nodded again and said: "Absolutely."

James blinked twice. Then he said "Whoa!" and stepped back. He covered his cheeks with his hands, said "Whooooohaaaaaaa...!" once more and looked into the sky.

Lily bit on her lip, still looking at him from down there. He looked surprised, stunned, his whole body was tense. But he didn't do anything more, he just stood there, puzzled, staring into nothing. Maybe that was it, maybe she should just leave. But he was so close to her, she could smell him, she never wanted to stop smelling him now, and who thought brown eyes could be so appealing? She could easily lay her whole hand on his chest, she wanted to do it, she wanted to touch his cheeks, his arms, feel his heart under his chest – and then he looked back to her, into her eyes, and she could see her own reflection in his damn brown eyes and she had to swallow. She had to know where she stood, now.

"Do you ..." She didn't know how to say it. She started newly: "Are you still interested in me?"

James took a step back, looking shocked. "What?", he shouted disbelievingly. "What?"

She froze. Well, there she had her answer. That was as good as a no. She panicked: "I'm sorry, I -"

"But of course!", James interrupted her and laughed. "Oh Lily, what did you think?"

She looked at him with a tortured, evaluating facial expression. "Well, you … were so rejecting when we came here and -"

"Oh, screw that!", he shouted and grinned with his whole face. He started to move, to turn on the spot back and forth, to make big gestures with his arms. "Of course I'm still interested in you and of course I love you and – oh, bloody hell, how desperately I want you to be my girlfriend!"

He stood with outstretched arms in front of her, smiling, with sparkling eyes, and Lily was flabbergasted. Numerous students had probably predicted something like this but to her, this was something she never thought would actually happen. The things he just said made her go weak at the knees and as he stood with these outstretched arms in front of her, slowly starting to realise what his outburst really meant, something in her chest started to ache and she finally knew what she wanted.

She looked down, took a step forward and before she even knew what was happening, he put both of this arms around her. Their torsos didn't touch but she was surrounded by his warmth, his smell, his breath. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and as she opened them again, her eyes fell on that dirty spot on his shirt from earlier.

"You've got some dirt there", she said, looking up with a mischievous grin. James let out a laugh and she felt his whole body shaking. She bubbled over with laughter a bit, too, and accidentally touched his chest with her head. It felt so good, so right, so perfect that she rested it there for a moment. She could hear how fast his heart was beating, his smell was everywhere and she wanted nothing more than staying like this forever.

"Oh, Lily!", James mumbled and hugged her tighter. She looked at him again and was completely taken by his skin, freckles and hairs. They stayed a few moments like this, looking at each other with tight, explorative faces, completely absorbed in the little moment between calm and tension before the storm. They couldn't believe what was actually happening.

A flurry came and brushed through their hair and Lily's strands got all messy. James took one between his fingers. He wore that expression he also wore in the library when he did his research, he was excited, fevered on the search of new information but careful with the old books. Intense, concentrated. Occasional lip-biting. A line between his eyebrows, sparkles in his eyes. Tension in his wide shoulders. Completely in his thoughts.

She bit her lips and suddenly, every inch of her longed for him stronger than before. Her skin prickled, she got hot, it got difficult to breath and her chest, oh, her chest pressed and tightened and cringed. James' breath got fast again, too, he shivered slightly and everywhere was his strong, warm, soft body. She wanted to be touched by him so bad, she wanted to feel his big, rough, strong, careful fingers on her face, everywhere, the fingers with which he caught the Quaffle, held the broom stick, which he jammed into the air when he scored, the ones he held tiny quills with and the ones with which he cut potion ingredients into perfect little pieces.

She looked into his eyes, pleading, she never thought she would plead with him for something, and she saw how his eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open and the only thing which could save her now was being kissed with these soft, warm, perfect lips.

He moved closer, she let go a sigh, one of his hands was under her jaw now, bending it towards him. She pressed her body against his, she felt every bone and muscle, she finally felt his heart running under her hands on his chest and was ready, oh, she never had been that ready before, his mouth came closer, she could see every colour in his eyes, she could count the freckles but she would probably have ages to actually do that. And as their noses touched and the mouth would be the next contact between them, Lily closed her eyes and James murmured:

"Not just girlfriend. I want you for always."

And with these words he pressed his lips on hers and the only thing Lily could do was to open her lips for him. He slowly started to play with them and she leaned in. Her hand got independent and ran over his shoulder, his neckline, his neck and the touch of his bare skin made her knees go weak. James hand stayed at her jaw, his other one landed on her hip and the sparks the touch sent through her body made her go mad and he pressed her even more towards him and she didn't know where she should go because she already was so close but she needed to get even closer, closer.

And they caught their breaths and continued, they couldn't stand being parted from each other, and her lips searched for his again and found them and caressed them again. His hand on her hip stroke up and down her back and his other one moved behind her head. His touches made her see stars and flashes. And she stretched herself and she ran her hand through his hair, his messy, messy hair nobody is allowed to touch and now she was crumpling it and it was so soft and smooth. She moved up and down his back with her other hand and couldn't quite comprehend all the muscles and bones she could feel there. And James was still there, still kissing her, still holding her.

And she was wrong, that kiss didn't save her, that kiss demanded more. Her hunger wasn't stilled and the fire in her didn't extinguish, it burnt even stronger and demanded to be fed. And it would take it's combustibles and she was happy to give them to it. Because that's what she wanted. James freaking Potter and no-one else. She wanted him to smile at her with a smile that was only hers. She wanted inside jokes with him, moments with him, only him. She wanted to tease him, to laugh with him, to be with him. Because there, in his arms and kissing him, she found a home she could stay at forever. They mattered.

And, most importantly, she wanted to feel him more. This wasn't quite enough.

She moved her hands over his chest, to his belly and to this trousers. While James bit on her lower lip, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it upwards. He shivered but groaned into the kiss and started to ruffle her shirt on the back. She could finally feel James' skin under his shirt, felt how her strokes caused goose bumps on him and had to groan as well. His lips left hers, only to strike along her jaw and down her neckline.

Lily noticed where this was going to, her breath went faster and she pulled her upper body backwards to give James more space. He followed and he kissed her neckline further down and leant more and more forwards. Balance became difficult – her feet were too close to his – she didn't want to step back because she craved his touches – she thought he was holding her but he didn't because he thought she was holding him – her upper body was already too far back and she fell backwards – there was no hold – James came after her – she fell and fell and there still was no hold – and with a thud she fell into the rose bushes –

And before she could even realise what had happen, James landed on top of her – there was only pain, piercing and dull at the same time – both of them let out a noise of shock – Lily made a deep cry of pain and James jumped off her –

"Did we seriously fell into rose bushes?", Lily snorted. "Ah, that hurt ..."

James was too shocked too laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn'-

"Urgh, help me up", Lily demanded.

He took her hand and did so. She groaned in pain and James started to examine her. Her clothes were dirty and in tatters. Where her clothes hadn't been, there were lots of scratches. None of them bled but there were thorns everywhere. Her hair was messy and full of leaves.

Lily let go some more curses. She bent forwards, tried to catch a breath and said hoarsely: "You're way too heavy, James. You should eat less."

"I'm so sorry", he muttered. He felt responsible for her injuries, guilty because he fell on her.

"These bloody thorns are everywhere!", she mumbled enervated.

"I'll charm them away!", James said and pulled out his wand.

Lily saw how he shivered. "Eeer ... it's okay, I'll do it. You're hand is too uneasy right now."

"But-"

"Seriously, James", she said with a hard look. "I don't want you to accidentally kill me." She smirked and got to work. "They seriously are everywhere! Ouch!"

Slowly but steady every thorn disappeared and James started to calm down. In the end, Lily let him charm away the thorns she couldn't reach easily. The earlier tension between them had vanished, every move Lily made hurt and she was actually embarrassed. She though that, as seeker, James was used to much more difficult injuries than these ones and he probably wouldn't whine the way she did. But hell, these scratches really hurt a lot. And every damn bone hurt. Her own fall, plus the one of James' on her, took their troll.

"Where does it hurt most?", James asked.

"My skin hurts like hell", she admitted.

"Hmm", James made. "I know some good healing charms, especially for scratches and scars. We use them often and they always work very well."

"We?"

"Eh, the Quidditch team." James looked to the ground.

"Okay, heal me", Lily said and hold her arms up in the hair.

James laughed and said. "Good, but Peter is actually better –"

"Please, James", Lily said softly. James promptly started to perform the series of spells. Lily sighed with relief as the scratches stopped hurting, started to heal and slowly vanished. James was so close to her, she loved his light touches and she could already kiss him again.

When he was finished, she cleaned her clothes, brushed through her hair and starrted to look like new. James' healing spells worked really well indeed and he countered her admiring expression with a grin. She checked on James and noticed he only had one or two scratches but hell, he was a seeker and hence it wouldn't attract attention. Not everyone had to know about the rose bushes.

"We should go to dinner", Lily said. "Sirius is probably already wondering where you are."

"Probably", James answered grinningly and they both laughed.

She would never get her fill of James laughing. She couldn't stop staring at his cheeks, his sparkling eyes, his laughter lines. She couldn't stop grinning. She took James hands and intertwined their fingers. James moved closer.

"I'm really sorry, Lily", he said once again.

Looking at that dirt on his shirt once again, thinking that it would probably always stay there and that she likely would be sad if it didn't, she said: "Don't be ridiculous, I still love you."

She only realised what she said as James gasped and put a huge smile on his face. She smirked at him. James smirked back. And as she looked into his sparkling eyes, the fire flared up again and she leaned in to kiss him. This kiss was slowly, soft, not as wild as their first one. The only thing which touched were their lips and hands. In Lily's stomach, butterflies went wild. It felt just as nice and good.

As they felt ready to face their friends, class mates and teachers, they went back to the Entrance Door – hand in hand and beaming.

Lily indulged in memory of what had happen, how she had felt, what she had wanted, what she had decided. She realised what could have happen if they hadn't have fallen into the bushes. There had been no-one around, no witnesses whatsoever, they could have had all the freedom in the world. And she noticed that the thought of it didn't scare her. It rather rekindled the fire in her and made her wanting to go on.

Still holding his hand, she said:

"James?"

"Yes?"

"Will we meet tonight?"

He looked at her. They grinned at each other and James said: "Yes. I'll think of something."

Lily squeezed his hand.

"Oh, and James? They don't have to know about the stupid rose bushes.", she said.

"Oh, no, they really don't." James grinned.

And with these words they walked into the Great Hall.

(AN: Thank you a lot for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Thanks a lot to my wonderful beta readers jimhawkinns, inkdeaeth and vablastky for correcting my awful mistakes.

There is also a tumblr post with a photoset of this oneshot, maybe you'd like to check it out: littlewhitesnowowl[...]tagged/stupid-rose-bushes

Have a great day! - Enele)