a/n:hello readers. I am finding myself so obsessed with this new season of VD the days leading up to the new episodes seem to take so long. My muse has been a little distant in terms of Delena, but I'm working on bringing her back. I've always been fascinated with the emotion of jealousy and the effects it can have on all the people around those that feel it. This idea came to me quite randomly while writing another fic and I figured I may as well get it off my chest. So here goes. Happy reading!
_Lockwood Mansion _
Elena's POV
I could feel his eyes on me, burning into the back of my neck as I wrapped my arms around Matty. The music Mrs. Lockwood had chosen for this charity event ball was doing nothing to heighten anyone's moods in the house, but Matt had looked so sad leaning against the wall I couldn't help asking him to dance. There were a few other couples in the ballroom that had followed us out, but Damon just stood there, his arm around some nameless red-head glaring at me.
What right did he have to be jealous. It was have been incredibly easy for him to ask me to go to this stupid ball with him. But no, he'd avoided me for days, and now he thinks he has the right to glare at me and make me feel guilty for spending time with one of my friends. Sure, Matt was holding me a little closer than necessary and I couldn't help occasionally glancing over at the vampire hotness, but still. If Damon was so upset about how we ended up here tonight, he could do something about it.
"Are you alright?" Matt asked, looking between me and Damon. "He seems pretty pissed."
"I don't care what he is."
The raise in Matt's eyebrows told me he didn't believe me. "Damon and I are on kind of a time out." I didn't really know what else to call it. We'd been getting so close in the past few months, and now that Stefan had gone back to Klaus I'd thought deep down one of us would make a move. Since I wasn't about to do it, that left the job to him.
"Caroline said you guys were practically together as it was."
"Not exactly, it's a bit more complicated than all that."
"Don't use Stefan as an excuse Elena, we all know how that turned out. You can't possible still have feelings for that monster."
I thought back to the last time I'd seen Stefan, to the horrible things he'd said. To all the things he'd said. He thought I was pathetic for thinking I could save him, he didn't love me anymore and he didn't want me. He had no emotions to want or love me with, so in reality that hadn't really been any reason for me to keep holding that. The conclusion to let Stefan go hadn't come easy but it was one that I knew I had to make.
"I don't, but I did love him at one time Matty. That kind of connection doesn't just go away overnight." I laid my head on his shoulder and let him spin me slowly. "I feel so comfortable with you. Like I can tell you anything and I know you won't judge me."
"Well we have been through a lot together."
"Do you think it's wrong of me to want Damon so much? I mean, he's Stefan's brother and he's done a lot of bad things, but most of them have been to protect me and keep the people I love safe."
"Honestly Elena, I think you need to give the guy a shot." Matt shifted me so I was looking up at him. "I'm almost afraid at any moment that he's going to come over here and beat me to death for holding you like this."
I smiled and hid my face in his chest to muffle the laugh. I hoped that Damon wasn't eavesdropping on the conversation I was having with Matt. "If he really cared about me, he would have asked me to come here tonight with him instead of that...harlot."
"Harlot huh?" Matt smiled, his eyebrows raised.
"That's the nicest, rude thing I could think to call her." I smiled a little more and pressed up on my toes to kiss his cheek.
Damon's POV
"She's just trying to make me jealous." I said for the tenth time in the last hour. Matt's hands were all over her like he owned her. Sure they'd dated at one time, but that was like a hundred years ago.
"Then why don't you do something about it..." my date sighed and slumped against the wall. I honestly couldn't remember what her name was, and I didn't really care. "You've been whining since we arrived and frankly I'm bored."
I turned on her, ready to tell her to fuck off, and then an idea came to mind. "Want to play a game?" I asked, hopefully placing a seductive smile on my lips.
"What kind of game?" the red head's interest peaked a little as she sipped at the wine in her glass. "Anything has to be better than standing here watching those two."
I ignored the jab and focused my eyes back on Elena. I could always use compulsion on my date if she wasn't up for going with the plan. "I want you to go over there and ask Matt to dance."
The red head considered her options and pursed her lips. "I don't know Damon, he's not really my type."
"I'm not saying you have to go home with him, just get him away from Elena." The growl in my throat no doubt gained her attention for she looked over at me, her eyes slightly wider than the lazy gaze I'd come accustomed to from her.
"Oh, there's no need to get your fangs in a twist." She said, patting my cheek and handing me her glass. "If it helps you quit whining darling, I'll do it."
I refrained glaring at her as she walked toward Matt and Elena. I watched the way his hand slid away from her back as they parted, the way Elena's grip tightened on his shoulder as if she didn't want him to go. I saw him lean down and whisper something in her ear, squeeze her waist and push her toward me slightly. I saw her bottom lip between her teeth as she stepped back from the dancing pair and then her turn to me, nervous and the smallest hint of excitement in her eyes.
She took a step toward me, the tight dark blue fabric of the dress she was wearing hugging her body. The skirt cut snug across her thighs, the neckline low but tantalizing whereas most of the girls here had gone for stripper chic. Two thin straps held the material to her shoulders, and with her long hair pulled back and up she'd left her neck on perfect display for me. At least, I'd like to think it was for me. She gracefully dodged a drunken teenager with a bottle of beer and slid over to the bar.
When she joined me against the wall, I could sense her hesitation at being this close to me. We'd been trying to keep our distance from each other since the night Stefan had left, at least I thought that's what she wanted. She didn't speak for a few minutes, which was fine with me. I had to bury the white anger I'd felt when watching Matt hold her and search for words that wouldn't send her running back to him. The unfortunate fact of her being so close was making it hard to form simple sentences within my mind and I found myself unable to think of much else than getting her out of the dress.
Elena's POV
Why wasn't he saying anything? I knew he'd been watching me, and if it hadn't been for Matt coaxing me into coming over here to talk to him I would have gone home and spent another night staring at the ceiling thinking of the vampire brother I wasn't supposed to be attracted to. I'd noticed the red head on his arm probably as quickly as he'd noticed the fact I'd come to this party with Matt, and I would be lying if I said the sight of his arm around her waist hadn't made me furious. Wasn't he supposed to be in love with me?
Maybe his brother's disappearance had left him time to think and he'd come to the conclusion that I wasn't what he wanted after all. If that wasn't the case than what the hell is wrong with his tongue? Normally the Damon I knew would have made some quick comment about Matt or the fact that Caroline and Tyler had disappeared half hour ago and were no doubt going at it somewhere vampire-hybrid style. But he just stood there, his eyes not really staring at anything, not even drinking the practically untouched drink in his hand.
"So, this music is pretty good huh?" I said, feeling instantly foolish for using that as my opening line. Thankfully there was a trace of sarcasm in my voice that caught his interest.
"If you like living in an old folks home, I'm sure it would be fantastic." His tone was quick and dry but held none of that attitude I'd come to find so oddly charming.
There was definitely something wrong with him, and simply asking would get me no where's. I would have to trick it out of him. "You could always compel the dj into playing something worthwhile."
That made him look at me, his eyes sharp as he contemplated how serious I was being. We both knew that I'd always be less than pro-compulsion. "What's gotten into you?"
I shrugged and pressed my back against the wall. "I could ask you the same thing, but I know I wouldn't get a real answer."
He watched as I sipped at my drink, looking for any signs of disgust or burning from the bourbon. The night of Stefan's attack he'd given me some and I'd become slowly accustomed to the taste, but it still felt like fire rolling down my throat. Thankfully my eyes cooperate and refused to water. I didn't risk another sip yet though and settled for looking out at the dance floor. "My date seems quite interested in yours." He said after a few minutes and I looked up to find him staring at Matt.
"Jealous?" I asked, more curious than anything."
"Hardly." He drained the drink and set it on a small table next to him. "I'm going to see what I can do about this music."
"Good luck." I smiled into my glass and pretend to take a bigger drink.
As he strode over to the dj's table, I watched him plant his hands on either side of the man's laptop and lean down. The familiar glazed look came over the poor, helpless jockey's eyes as he murmed back the instructions Damon was giving him. The dark blue suit Damon was wearing brought out the glow in his eyes that I only noticed when he walked back to me, a satisfied smile on his lips. I looked down at my dress and wondered how we'd known to dress in similar colors.
"Well that was a waste of energy." Damon said crossing his arms.
"Why's that?" I asked, turning towards him slightly. I could smell the cologne he'd put on earlier and resisted the urge to move closer to him.
"The boy's so bored out of his mind that he decided to get high during his last break. Compulsion is like hypnosis, sometimes it doesn't always work. Especially if the subject's conscious is out of reach or clouded with a haze resembling Woodstock."
"Which I supposed you remember completely?" I teased and tried to imagine Damon in the middle of all those naked, dancing hippies. Somehow it didn't seem that odd.
"Most of it." He tilted his head to look at me and winked, the old Damon I'd begun to truly miss showing himself for a moment. As quickly as it came, it went and he moved back to staring at the floor.
"Either way he does take requests and I managed to get him to agree to play something a little more lively."
"I suppose you'll want your date back then." I said, pushing back from the wall. "I'll go get Matt away from her."
"No." His cool fingers wrapped around my bare arm and held me in place. I resisted the shiver that racked my body from his touch and instead turned slowly to look at him.
I wasn't sure how long our eyes stayed connected in an epic battle of one of the most intense staring contests I'd ever been involved in, but when the speakers began the blast one of the current dance hits, Damon gave into the blinking that was threatening to water both our eyes. The singer's voice rose as the tempo did and I felt Damon's fingers slide down to wrap through mine. I looked down at our joined hands for a moment, then back to his eyes.
His gaze seemed to be daring me into refusing him, and we both knew that I couldn't. The jealousy that we had both felt earlier that night had powered our anger and now it moved to power our excitement. The rap bridge that always seemed to accompany these kinds of songs nowadays began as he pulled me onto the dance floor and pressed me close to him. Baby I like it, the way you move on the floor. Baby I like it. Come on and give me some more. Screaming like never before. Our bodies moved together as more dancers joined the group from their places around the room.
With talents and smoothness I'd found tempting Damon spun me out, quickly spinning me back into his arms so my back was pressed to his chest. I felt his hips roll against mine, one hand slipping down to my hip to hold me in place. I tilted my head back to smile at him, and for the first time in days he actually looked happy. The overwhelming urge to feel his lips against mine was beginning to take over and as the song slowly died out I turned in his arms to face him.
It was have been so easy, just tilt my head to the side and press up on my toes slightly but when I moved he didn't close the distance. Now I really was confused, how could he dance with me like that, hold me like we making love and then when faced with the chance to close the deal freeze up? I'm sure he saw the hurt in my eyes, but he only squeezed my hand in his and turned away disappearing into the crowd of people that had begun to leave the floor now that the song was over.
I chanced a glance at Matt who was currently leading the redhead out the back door onto the terrace. At least someone was getting lucky tonight. I looked back at the door to find Damon glancing back at me before he moved around the corner and out of my sight. I was crying, and I didn't even know it, and that frustrated me. I'd lost too many damn tears over the Salvatore brothers and now it seemed like neither of them wanted me. I needed to be alone, just for a few minutes to compose myself. Then I would go home and...be alone.
Damon's POV
Well, now there was a dick move if I'd ever done one. As I stalked to the car I berated myself for surely making her feel like crap. She'd felt so incredible in my arms, warm and soft and all the things I'd imagined her being like. She'd wanted me to kiss her, I'm sure of it but what if it had only been the moment. Moments pass, and when they're all over you are left with the consequences of actions taken in those moments. I wasn't sure I could deal with the look of regret in her eyes that would surely follow a kiss like the one I'd wanted to give her.
As I climbed behind the wheel and slammed the car into gear I remembered that I'd left Maggie (yes that was her name) inside, but from the look Matt had on his face when he led her outside, she was in good hands. The tires spun as I peeled away from the mansion ignoring the curses and mutterings from the valet's Mrs. Lockwood had hired to watch the cars for the night. I would drive home as hard and as fast as I could then drown myself in some good liquor and real music. That was the plan anyway, but as I came to the set of lights and the turn off for Elena's house I knew I was screwed.
Basically everyone in Mystic Falls was back at the party so the empty streets gave the impression of a ghost town. As I illegal switched lanes to the flashing green arrow that was pointing me to her home like a beacon I swore. Why was it that I continued to make mistakes, knowing full well that they would only come back to bite me in the ass. No doubt, by the time Elena got back to her place she was would be fuming with anger at me. And if she wanted to yell, I would sit there and let her.
I parked down the street and walked to the front door, knocking even though I knew no one was at home. I'd seen Elena use the hidden spare key more than once, and when no one answered the door, I let myself in and made my way to her room. There were three different dresses strewn over the floor and her jewellery box was sitting open on her vanity, pearls and various necklaces spilling out of it. Either she'd been in a rush to get ready or she'd tried on a ton of outfits in order to look amazing.
I smiled at the memory of her walking toward me as I sat on the edge of her bed. My heightened senses picked up on the scent of her shampoo on the pillow, the perfume that hung in the air of the bathroom and a smell that was entirely hers. I wasn't sure entirely how long it would be before she came home, if she even ended up coming home at all so I settled myself against the pillows and closed my eyes, wondering if she ever laid here thinking of me.
Elena's POV
After I'd kicked Caroline and Tyler out of the powder room, hoping they would find another room to hook up in I settled for letting the tears fall. I was done with crying for those men. If they didn't want me, then I would show them; or at least Damon just how much I didn't need them. I knew I would never be able to handle the sight of Damon with another girl, but if he could pass up the simple chance at kissing me when I was obviously so willing, then he could go to hell.
A few minutes later the fuming anger of rejection and jealousy turned into a dull throbbing pain and I fixed the mascara that my tears had destroyed in their descent down my face. There was a sick feeling in my stomach as I searched through the faces for Matt. When I found him wrapped around Damon's redhead on the dance floor the dull ache turned to sharp pain and I felt the threat of more tears. I wasn't so much jealous of the girl for having Matt, but at both of them for making a connection I couldn't seem to hold onto with anyone.
Damn, jealousy could be a real messed up emotion if one let it rule the rest of their emotions in the way I was beginning to. I couldn't stay here anymore, looking at the happy smiles and dealing with smiling politely to people I had nothing in common with anymore. The handful of my friends understood what I was going through, but now that Bonnie was back at her dad's for the month and Caroline was busy dealing with her own hybrid boyfriend issues, I was all alone.
Hell, even the thought of finding Katherine and asking her how she had handled being involved with the Salvatore's crossed my mind, but I had no way to get in touch with her anyway. Besides, she would only make matters worse for both me and Damon. There was no need to bring another vampire back into town when we'd just gotten rid of three. The valet handed me the keys to Aunt Jenna's car, which had now become mine and I sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes debating whether or not to go home or the Boarding House.
Damon would no doubt be there pouring himself another glass, maybe even sucking the life source from a helpless sorority girl. He'd refrained from such actions in months, but there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that kept her from going there. Home, that big dark empty house was where she belonged. If she had to, she would spend another night up with Ric in the living room watching old movies and trying to keep him distracted from thoughts of Jenna. If nothing else it would keep her from thinking of Damon too.
When she pulled up to the house she saw that all the lights were off and that the spot where Ric normally parked was empty. Jeremy was doing God knows what with the ghost of the night, so she would have to settle for the empty bed after all. But when she locked the door behind her and toed off her shoes, she sensed a presence in the house that set off the internal alarms inside her. Not the ones of fear and self protection though. The familiar scent of cologne she'd been tempted by earlier hung in the air and she followed her instincts up the stairs and into her bedroom.
Damon's POV
I heard her car pull up outside and had seriously considered jumping out the window before she found me, but there were things both of us needed to get off our chests, and if that including clothing I wouldn't complain. When she opened the door to her bedroom and flicked the light on, I sat up doing my best to paste a comforting smile on my lips. She didn't look surprised to see me, but she did look a little angry and the slightest bit frightened. I pushed away from the mattress to stand next to the bed, hoping that she would kick me out before I said what I had to.
But as she closed the bedroom door behind her and stepped toward me, I forgot completely all that I'd planned to say while laying here waiting for her. After a minute of saying nothing she bent to begin picking up her clothes and cleaning the mess she'd made before the party. If I wasn't going to say anything, what was she supposed to do other than wait for me to start the conversation? When she turned back from hanging the dresses in the closet, I was standing behind her. The light gasp that slipped from her lips told me she was more excited than scared.
"I'm sorry about earlier." I said, thankful my voice was low and even. Being this close to her tended to do things to me, and there was no reason for her to see how affected I was being her proximity.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She smiled lightly and pushed past me. So, I'd hurt her so much by rejecting the kiss that she was going to pretend that it didn't even happen. I almost would have preferred her yelling at me than letting me off the hook for hurting her. At least I wouldn't feel so damned guilty.
"You were never a good liar Elena." I said, following her around the room with my eyes as she smoothed the wrinkles on the bed I'd made while laying there. If I got my way we'd be making a lot more than wrinkles there before the night was over.
But first I had to get her out of this cold anger she seemed to be holding onto. Where was the fire I'd seen in her eyes when we danced, when she'd offered herself to me only a few hours before? "On the contrary, I'm an excellent liar." If she meant by lying to herself, than yes she was, but she'd never been able to slip one past him. "I'm tired Damon, it's been a long night."
The comment was meant to dismiss him, but he would not be thrown so easily. "Then we better get through this fast. I'm not leaving Elena, I promised you I would never leave you again. I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier."
"You didn't." She pasted a smile on her lips and turned to the window. If I hadn't been paying close attention to her every movement I might have missed the slight shudder of her shoulders or the sudden shallowness of her breathing as she fought for control of her emotions. "If anyone should be sorry it's me."
"How did you get that?" I asked, coming closer to her but keeping the bed between us. When she turned back to face me I could see she'd gained composure over the pain I'd made within her.
"It was foolish of me to try and kiss you. It's clear that I wasted to long waiting for Stefan to return to me, and in that time I lost your heart. I'm sorry for not seeing it sooner Damon."
Oh God, I thought as she tightened her hold on her arms. The sight of her hugging herself was almost enough to break my heart. She actually thinks I don't love her anymore. I was across the room and next to her in an instant. "You couldn't be any more wrong Elena." I promised, cradling her face in my hands. We'd been in this position, in this room so many times before and this once tonight was going to end in my favour.
"I think you should go Damon." She said, but she didn't step away or move from my hold.
"I'm not leaving." I repeated and brought her closer to me. With one hand on her waist, clenching the silk of her dress and the other still on her face I brought her lips to mine in a kiss I felt I'd been waiting a century for.
She sighed in surrender against my lips as our first real kiss took over both our minds. At first we were painfully slow and gentle with each other, gauging the others reactions. I felt her palms fist in the fabric at the front of my shirt and tug me down, closer to her. She was almost bent backwards trying to get us closer together and quickly I rushed us against the wall. The bed was closer, but I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment. She gasped at the force, and her eyes opened.
"I don't want you to leave Damon."
"Good." I smiled, actually smiled and let my fingers tangle in her hair. "I'm going to have you tonight. I've waited so long to have you, and I can't wait any longer."
"Good." She repeated and pressed tighter against me.
I slipped the zipper of her dress down her spine and stepped back so she could slink out of it. When it slipped to the ground I saw that she was wearing only a small black lace thong beneath it. She moved to cover herself as I looked over her hungrily, but I pinned her arms against the wall and shook me head. "No hiding Elena, not anymore."
She nodded and even though she was biting her lip she allowed me to look. When I'd tortured myself sufficiently, I slid my hands down her waist to her hips and under her ass. She allowed me to lift her and wrapped around me as if her life depended on it. She clung tightly as I kissed her, the gentleness we'd been practicing before gone as I discovered the soft velvetiness of her skin. She seemed desperate to feel my skin against hers, but refused to break the kiss as she loosened my tie and slipped the suit jacket from my shoulders.
"I need you Damon." She whispered as I carried her to the bed. We would have to save the long, slow teasing love making for another night. Tonight the passion we'd both been trying to bottle up and hold down was coming to the surface and I knew the moment we were naked, the little calmness we had would be lost.
"Those aren't the four words I want to hear right now." I teased, undoing three buttons on my shirt, but too impatient to do anymore. Instead I pulled it off over my head and threw it behind me.
Elena's POV
I'd felt uncomfortable under Damon's unrelenting gaze moments ago, but now as he displayed himself for me I couldn't help staring. I'd seen him like this before, but never in the situation where I was actually allowed to look, to touch. The familiar smirk I'd come to miss since he smiled played across his lips both infuriating and exciting me. I almost couldn't think when he bent over the bed to kiss me and when my nails scraped down his back, I was sure he knew that. I knew what he wanted to hear and for the first time since I'd met him I wasn't afraid to admit it.
There was nothing holding us back now, no outside force stopping us from being together, and if both Katherine and Stefan walked into the room now, I was sure neither of us would care. "I love you Damon. I love you so much it hurts and when I saw you with that girl tonight I was so jealous I could barely breathe."
He pushed up on his hands to look down at me, satisfaction and fulfillment all over his face. "I wanted to break Matt's neck for having his hands all over you. I told Maggie to go dance with him so he would stop touching you."
"Seems they appreciated the connection." I laughed a little and laced my fingers behind his neck. "When I left the party they were in the beginnings of starting their own."
"I'm sorry I left you."
I pressed my finger to his lips and shook my head. "Don't be sorry, just make it up to me."
"I can do that." He grinned wickedly and moved his lips to my neck, his fingers taunting and teasing my breasts. "First you have to tell me what you want."
"First you have to tell me you love me." I arched up into his touch and he pulled back again, moving me with him.
"I love you Elena Gilbert, and I promise that I'll never stop." He stood in front of me, my hands in his as he waited desperately for me to make the next move.
I slid closer to the edge of the bed and tucked my fingers into the waistband of his pants, pulling him closer. I pressed soft kisses along his hips as I worked the opening of his pants open and pushed them down his legs. The wonder I'd always considered of Damon wearing nothing beneath his clothes was proved to me, and a moment later I was as bare as he was. With the hard strength of his body above me and the soft, welcoming mattress beneath me I felt as if I was in heaven.
"Take me Damon." I gasped, wrapping my legs around him, gasping in pleasure when I felt the tip of his hardness brush against my clit.
A moan slipped from my lips as the swollen spot was teased and I found myself thankful the house was empty. Moments later we were laying in the center of the bed, Damon's hands holding my thighs open slightly as he waited for the final permission. I could only nod and cling to his arms as he slid inside me. The shock of finally feeling him made my cry out and he bent to kiss me, swallowing my moans as he began to lose the control I so desperately wanted him to throw out the window.
Damon's POV
She was so tight, so warm and as I moved faster within her my moans and sighs began to match her own. She cried out my name and I sighed hers, both of us murmuring incoherent demands and pleas as we brought each other closer to the edge. I felt her tighten around me more, felt her nails dig into my flesh as her first orgasm ripped through her. She called my name and rocked up against my thrusts desperate for more friction.
Not even when my fangs pierced the skin between her neck and shoulder did she stop moving beneath me. As her blood trickled down, over my tongue and we came together I held her tight against me. She was the thing I'd been waiting all these years for, and as she offered more of her life source to me, our connection strengthening I know this would be the first of many times we would prove to each other just how deep our love went.
Elena's POV
No more than an hour had passed before my desire woke me from my sleep and had me crawling onto Damon's still naked form. He chuckled as I playfully bit his shoulder and rubbed my slowly heating core against him. "Haven't you gotten enough of me yet?" he asked, letting his fingers walk and trail across my skin.
"I hope I never tire of you." I said honestly and kissed the center of his chest were his heart should have been beating. The lack of working organ did nothing to detour my belief that he loved me and as I bent to kiss him I looked forward to finding out just how much someone without a working heart could love.
a/n: there we are. My second story this week. This may be my last one for the month, but I will definitely have a thanksgiving one for November and hopefully a few other one shots to hold us over until the Christmas season sparks my muse and gives me some ideas about Delena and some miseltoe (perhaps). Hope you all enjoyed! And thank you to those that will take a minute more to comment!
p.s. thinking of doing another series to go alone with my holiday one...perhaps an emotion one. Any suggestions for another title? Lust, Greed, Despair...hmm. perhaps one of you will come up with an idea I can't resist!