Title: Closer
Rating- PG-13
Parings: H/Hr, mentions of past R/Hr
Warning: character's death, scenes of sexual nature.
Summary: And so it is The shorter story No love, no glory No hero in her sky
A/N: this story was greatly inspired by the wonderful song - "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan. I truly recommend reading this fanfic while listening to that song (if you don't get too confused, of-course ;)
I don't know why it came out the way it did; this story basically wrote itself.
Closer
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
She was alone. She was in pain. And he didn't care. He couldn't.
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
"I love you Hermione"
"I love you too Ron."
He smiled warmly at her and closed the clasp of her necklace.
"It's beautiful Ron, thank you" she whispered, holding the heart shaped locket in front of her. "You're welcome" he said softly, wiping a tear off her cheek with his thumb.
"I didn't even realize I was crying" she laughed self-consciously, wiping away her tears herself.
"Don't" Ron stopped her, taking her hands in his. "You are beautiful just like that".
They stared at each other and Ron took a step closer and kissed her.
There they were. Kissing. Loving. Oblivious to anything except for themselves.
And there he was. Watching. Loathing. Unacknowledged.
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
"Hermione get up" he looked down upon her and offered his hand.
"Go away, Harry" she didn't even bother to look up.
"You've been lying there for a couple of hours now, we must leave".
She turned to look at him, her face full of hatred and loathing. "Go Harry. Just go. I don't need you here."
He looked at her, defeated. He could feel his gusts tearing apart. He took a few steps back.
"He is not coming back" he said. He tried to remain composed but his voice gave him away, he was broken. "He's not-"
"I heard you Harry!" she got up from the ground, his grave, dusting away dirt from her cloak. "Don't you think I know that? I know, goodness I know!" tears were now pouring freely from her eyes, her cheeks were colored crimson and her hair a tangled mass of curls. "Get out of my sight, Harry. I need you to leave me alone" she spat.
He didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at her.
"I'll never leave you" he whispered before he apparated. And just before he vanished he could swear he saw something else in her eyes besides hatred.
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
"Oh Hi Harry! Didn't expect to see you here, Ron said you had gone off with Moody for a couple of hours.. Is something wrong?" she asked concernedly and sat beside him on Ginny's bed. He looked at her for just a second before answering, her cheeks were flushed, her brown curls neatly lying on her shoulders, her eyes were shining.
"Err.. No. No, just finished early" he said quickly, staring at his hands.
"That's great"; she smiled at him. He was still looking at his hands.
"Everything alright Harry?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. It burned where she touched him. It burned just to look at her. He wanted to tell her, to tell her everything he possibly could. Only that he couldn't, it would ruin everything. It would ruin her.
"Harry?" she asked him again, putting more pressure on his shoulder. "Look at me" she demanded. "Is something wrong?"
He turned to look at her; her features were in a frown, she looked concerned.
"Why?" he finally managed to choke up. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what Harry?" she asked him softly
He didn't say anything. Just kept looking at her. He knew she could make this out on her own.
"I don't-" she began, then stopped. Her pupils got bigger and she put her hand on her mouth. "You mean.. You mean Ron and I?" she murmured. "How do you know?" she asked, not looking at him anymore. She put her hand in her hair, biting her lower lip. She always did that when she was confused and needed more answers.
"Does it matter? I saw you the other day. Why couldn't you just tell me?"
"It's complicated Harry, you must understand." She took his hands in hers. "This was very new to us and we weren't sure how you would react. We.. We needed some time to-"
"How long?" he demanded, taking his hands out of her grip.
"What?" she was confused by the sudden pull of his arms.
"How long, Hermione? He urged, fighting to stay with a straight face.
"For almost 2 months, since Ron got back"
He had to get up. He had to run. He was so angry, so upset. He began pacing the room. It was so small all of a sudden.
"Harry-" she began. He stopped pacing and spun to look at her.
"Shut up! Just shut up" he yelled at her, he realized he was shaking.
"Harry please.." her lip was trembling and a small tear got caught in her eyelash.
"You have nothing to say! Nothing. Do you think it's easy? Do you? To be trapped here in this horrible place, knowing that you guys don't care? Knowing that I'm alone? That I'll have to do all this by myself? That-"
He couldn't continue because he was suddenly wrapped up in Hermione's arms. Her smell filled his nostrils. Smell of vanilla and quills and old books.
"We care Harry, I care" she told him shakily, her voice muffled against his shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
He was so confused; he completely forgot what he was yelling about. He didn't know what to do so he cautiously wrapped his arms around her too.
"You're not alone Harry, you're never alone" she said tenderly, it sounded to Harry like she was beginning to cry now. He awkwardly stroked her hair, careful not to get caught in her curls.
"You know I love you Harry" she whispered softly, almost inaudibly. He couldn't help the smile that was spreading shyly on his face, it was the first time anyone said they loved him. "I love you too" he admitted, a tear making its path down his cheek. She looked up to him and Harry suddenly became very conscious of their position. She was so close, so close.
He didn't think about what he was doing but he knew it felt right. His hands cupped her face and he leaned closer.
It was a tentative kiss, shy and sweet and chaste. Harry's hand curled slowly around the nape of her neck, his thumb brushing against her jaw, and she leaned instinctively into his touch, tilting her head to one side. When his lips softly parted, she followed, both of them aware of nothing more than the feel and the taste of each other. When her teeth scraped against his bottom lip, his breath caught in his throat. When the tip of his tongue touched hers, her whole body was suffused by a rolling wave of heat that instantly shocked her out of her languid torpor.
Then Hermione literally tore herself out of his arms, she took two hasty steps backward, her palms pressed against her hot face.
"Harry we can't" she said shakily, staring hard at him.
Folding her arms across her chest she added "I'm with Ron now. We can't. I can't".
"Yeah I know.. We can't", Harry agreed silently, looking at the floor, trying to convince himself.
"Why now, Harry? Why? When I'm happy with Ron? Why are you doing this to me?" she howled at him. Her cheeks aflame, her hair wild, she looked as if she were about to burst in flames.
"I.. I'm sorry?" he mumbled, not sure what he should be saying. "I thought there was no use.."
"No use?" she breathed erratically. "I loved you Harry, but I gave up. I thought I was wasting my time on you. Dreaming that someday you would wake up and find me." She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "Instead, I woke up and there was Ron – waiting to be found".
Harry just stared at her silently, wretchedly.
"It's too late, Harry"
She turned to walk away but Harry caught her arm roughly before she could. "It's never too late" he whispered softly to her, a shade of hope in his voice. She gazed at him and for a moment Harry thought he had convinced her.
"I can't" she breathed and there was a sense of determination in her tone that made Harry let her go.
Before she disappeared behind the door she looked at him. It was the saddest look he has ever seen on her face. He assumed the look he gave her mirrored hers.
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
A knock on the door woke him up. He put down the empty bottle of firewhiskey and got up. The minute he did that he felt his head thumping between his ears. 'Fuck' he mumbled. He reached down to the table, fumbling for his glasses.
'Just a minute!' he called when he put his glasses on.
He ran clumsily to the door and opened it. And there she was.
"Can I come in?" she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor.
"Of-course" he replied, stepping aside to let her in. He was still hung over from the alcohol he gulped down yesterday and wasn't completely sure what he should be doing.
"Want something to drink?" he asked hurriedly, wiping his sweaty palms down his pants. "No, thank you" she looked at him and smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Well.. Err.. Come then" he escorted her to the couch. "Uh, sorry about that" he added when he saw her quirk her eyebrow at the sight of the empty bottle on the couch. He sheepishly took the bottle and placed it on the table.
She sat heavily down. She looked so withdrawn and weak, Harry felt he had to wrap his arms around her and rock her slowly until she's alright, but he knew better. So he just sat down beside her, careful not to touch her.
She put her head between her hands and drew shaky breaths. "I don't know what to do, Harry" she finally said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I didn't know what else to do, who to blame..." she drifted off.
"It's alright, I don't mind" Harry said quietly, tenderly putting his hand on her thin shoulder, not wanting to scare her off.
She looked at him sadly, her eyes full of empathy and endless grief. "I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it's not your fault, you are so good, so cherished.." she put her hand on his cheek. It felt warm and soft and precious.
He gazed at her "I'm okay" he murmured. "Really I am" he tried to reassure her, but he knew she didn't believe him, he didn't believe himself either.
"I really didn't know what to do, I'm so lost, Harry" she whispered, she sounded so despaired and withered. And Harry did the only thing that felt right. He kissed her. Hard and fierce and violent. He suddenly remembered the last time he kissed her, so long ago. But this was so different; this wasn't a tentative kiss, shy and sweet and chaste. This was yearning and hunger and pain.
She moaned into his mouth as his hands tightened on her hips when a shudder rippled through him. He could feel the frantic beat of her heart through her shirt, the ragged breaths she took and he knew.
He won. She was his.
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
Towers of smoke filled the putrid skies. It was cold and dark and Harry was exhausted. He was wounded and nauseous, and all he could think about was him.
He had to find him and he had to do it now, before it was too late.
'She would be alright, she's safe now. She could never know' he kept repeating in his head. He got up on his wobbly feet, dragging himself of the ground, his wand still held firmly in his hand.
"Harry.. I'm here!" a silent cry could hardly be heard from not so far away from Harry.
"Ron?" Harry called hoarsely from where he stood.
"I'm right here!" Ron called again, this time a little loader. Harry wasted no time and ran as fast as his drained legs could carry him until he found him.
"Thank god, Harry" Ron mumbled from the dirty ground when he saw Harry, his face filthy and covered with dried blood.
"Is she.. Is she.." Ron stammered; it was obvious he couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Alive? Yeah she is" Harry said unfalteringly. "I saw her being taken with the rest of the injured to Madam Pomfrey, she's going to be alright".
"That's.. Excellent.. Harry" his breaths were quite erratic now. "I think I.. Should better go to" he said weakly.
"Do you love her?" Harry asked suddenly.
"What? I.. Of-course I do, you love her too" he looked up at Harry, confused.
"I mean – are you in love with her?" he persisted, towering over Ron.
"I'm.. What? I don't see how-" Ron held his head as if he were afraid it would burst.
"Just answer the question Ron" Harry continued indifferently.
"Yes, I am" he finally said and continued with a new sense of determination in his hoarse voice . "I intend to propose to her in a few weeks; after.. After we are both healed from.. All of this" he added softly, nodding his head to the space around them, his gaze lost to the bodies surrounding them.
"That's all I needed to know" Harry said quietly, jerking Ron back to their current state. "I'm sorry Ron, but I have to do this. You must understand, she could never be with me as long as you're still here." He searched his eyes, as if wishing him to understand. To forgive.
"I have to make sure that she belongs to me.. that my life is worth living. I have to make sure this battle wasn't for nothing.." his gaze trailed off, then he looked back at Ron, his eyes the deepest shade of green.
"I'm sorry" he whispered, sounding so sincere that Ron almost believed he would fall to the ground and embrace him. But instead he pointed his wand at him.
"Harry, don't-"
But it was too late, a flash of brilliant green light emerged from his wand and Ron fell to the ground.
Harry's knees buckled and he collapsed to the ground as well, a broken howl escaping his mouth. He didn't want it to end like this, but there was no other choice.
He won. She was his.
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
Please review! Thank you =)