this is what a sick dork would write. does that mean i'm a sick dork? maybe. or maybe it means i'm too embarassed to put this up on my other FF account.

once upon a time, eragon was walking along when he realized that his pants were down. 'oops,' he said, 'i did it again.' then he started acting like britney spears and then took all his clothes off and walked thousands of miles to the elves forest.

a lot of people stared at him

'hi,' he said cheerfully. whenever the person was a hot girl he would go up to them and say, 'wanna share my bed?' looking at his incredibly sexy, muscular chest they would say, 'yeah,' and then they would go someplace and have sex, where he would stick his penis on their breasts and they would have lots of fun.

when he got to du weldenvarden he went to arya's house and waited until she got home. when she locked the door, she went to bed and took all her clothes off.

then eragon, who had been hiding under her bed, jumped out and got into bed with her.

feeling for the first time eragon's incredibly sexy and muscular chest she said in a high-pitched girlish voice, 'rape me please eragon!'

he said, in a deep sexy voice, 'yes of course honey. i love you.'

she said impatiently, 'just rape me, NOW.'

'of course.'

then the had sex for twenty thousand hours straight, because they were both in love and had to have lots of sex.

a detailed journey into their sex:

first, they pressed their incredibly sexy bodies together and started muttering sweet nothings into each other's ears. then they got really pasionate and had fierce lusty sex, in which first arya wrapped her legs around eragon, and eragon started to kiss her, and their tongues fought for domination in each other's mouths. arya won, but eragon didn't mind because he still got to have sex with her.

well, slightly detailed, anyway.

anyhow, the queen got really anxious and started raping the trees in anxiety because she hadn't seen Arya in twenty thousand hours (and sveral seconds).

then she broke into arya's room and found the two assholes having fierce lusty sex and she cried out, 'me too! me too!"

she dove into the middle of their fierce lusty sex, taking her lcothes off in the process.

then they all had sex for the rest of their lives

THE END!