RAWR! I'm back from the dea-a-a-ad... (mimics a rather sickly zombie and wanders about for a moment)
(notices that everyone is staring at me incredulously) ... Okay, fine, so I've never been dead and probably won't be for a long, long time. Oh well.

For anyone who's wondering what happened to Skitsish (what the karzanhi are you doing here, then?): my computer... died. And it took my stories with it. Have I been depressed? Heck yes. I had a good line in Skitsish that will never be used, now. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT. I've got a story now!

This thing took me only an hour or two, because it's short and I type fast, but I had fun writing it so WHO CARES ABOUT THE TIME, EITHER.
Credit for the idea goes to my Dad, who has had a surprising number of good ideas lately. I'm going to have to look into that.

Also, I don't remember what the "You-Just-Got-Another-Probably-Useless-Item" sound, err, sounds like. So the "song" in the first line, well, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's actually the "YOU JUST CAUGHT A POKEMON" noise from Pokemon Blue. If you know what the sound actually sounds like, PLEASE tell me so that I can change it. Thanks.

DISCLAIMER:
I do not own ANYTHING that belongs to Nintendo, such as the Lens of Truth, Din's Fire, Link, or Zelda. Heck, I don't even own Ganondork, which is probably a good thing because I'd probably get him into so many embarrassing situations he'd be insane by now. So don't sue me, mm-kay?
Also, stealing ideas is bad. So don't steal mine. 'Kay?

TriForks
A "build-up" story—at least, that's what I call it—by me.

Dedicated to my very own Dad,
who's the master of funny "build-up" stories
and gave me the idea for this, besides.
Thanks, Dad!

"DAH, dun dun dun dun dah DAHHH"

The tall teenager sighed as the familiar music played, again, for what must have been the fiftieth time that week. Strange tunes seemed to be the norm in this world, following him wherever he went, the strangest of the little tunes seemingly activated whenever he opened a box, or found something on the ground, or beat a rather tough monster, or...
The teen shook such thoughts out of his head. No matter how annoying the music, he couldn't help but feel excited. Somewhere in this room, was a door. Hidden, maybe, but a door that he now had a key for, thanks to the largish chest he had just opened. A most beautiful, important, intriguingly mysterious key.

Of course, first he had to listen to that annoying voice tell him all about keys, as if he were a particularly idiotic two-year-old. That was another thing that followed him around in this strange world: a disembodied voice that spouted over-obvious nonsense.
The poor, annoyed fellow would have almost—almost—preferred a fairy. A fairy! Certainly one of the most annoying creatures he'd ever met. At least with a fairy, well, you could force it to shut up. It's at least a physical being with a mouth that can be muffled or clamped shut or something.
With a disembodied voice, well... what could a person do to shut a disembodied voice up, if it was apparently deaf and ignored even the worst sort of insults that you could fling at it? Sheesh!
The green-clad figure shook the thoughts out of his head again. Honestly, he was letting his mind wander away with him far too much these days.Time to find that door.

Several minutes later, the severely annoyed teenager was at his wit's end, tossing bombs randomly at the walls.
'I can't believe this,' he thought to himself as he waited impatiently for the recently-tossed bomb to go off, 'I manage to beat Ganondork—again—only to be beaten by a stupid hidden door? What in the world is wrong with this place? Don't they know any of the rules? It's supposed to be: kill the idiot who's trying to take over the world, instantly get some sort of magical item and/or praise and/or save the world. That's the way it works, not: kill Ganondork again, spend rest of life tossing bombs at walls...'

The bomb still hadn't gone off by the time he was done ranting to himself about the unfairness of such a world that refused to let him be done already. Grumbling, the impatient teen moved forward to use Din's Fire and set the darned thing off himself, but—
BOOM!

The poor, bashed-up fellow was quickly thrown backwards by the blast, getting tossed through a wall and up against...
... the door.

"Great. Just, great," the battered teenager grumbled as he tested his arms and legs to make sure nothing was broken, "here I've been wasting tons of bombs, when I should have been using the Lens of Truth to search for fake walls. Fun!"
Never the less, the boy was pleased that he had found the door at last, and he did still have some bombs left, thank goodness. Now, to see if the key would work...
Clink. Thunk. Ka-chink!
The boy grinned widely as the door swung open and the key disintegrated. He had gotten used to keys suddenly disappearing by now; it happened every time he opened a door. The joy that came from opening a particularly tough-to-get-to door hadn't faded away yet, though.

The tall, green-clad teenager slowly drew his sword and held his shield at the ready as he entered the room. Normally he would just walk in without worrying about enemies, but this world hadn't followed any of the usual rules so far. For all he knew, Ganondorf would reappear again in this room, though he'd already beaten him twice in this world, and that should, technically, be the end of it.

Halfway across the room, however, he quickly sheathed his sword and placed his shield back on top of the sheath, staring in shock at the object floating in the middle of the room, filling the large area with a soft, golden light. There were no enemies here. There could not be.

Now, your average Earthling would probably not understand what was going on, unless he or she had played video-games, and a lot of them. They would look at the most important object in that world and say, "What of it? It's just three, floating, golden triangles. A bit abnormal, but nothing to stare at after all the things this fellow has gone through."
Well, too bad for them, then. To our battered adventurer, this was the most important moment of his whole journey. He had finally found it, the legendary object which he had fought so long and hard for: the Triforce!

The adventurous teen slowly approached the powerful triangles, eyes wide with shock. For what must have been ages in the normal flow of time, he had chased this sacred thing through world after world, always one step behind—but now, now he had found it. His quest was almost complete. He slowly reached out for the Triforce, the mark on his left hand glowing strongly as it approached the object it symbolized—and then, he had it. It sat in his hands, looking as innocent as the small carvings of it all over every world he had been through.
But this was no carving. This, this was the real thing. His quest was complete, only one thing remained.
The tall adventurer breathed a sigh of relief once the power-filled triangles were safely tucked away in the deepest corner of his bag. Now, to go home. Home! It had been, or seemed to be, ages since he had seen it. Hyrule was calling, now, and he was eager to return to it.

Meanwhile, back in Hyrule, a smallish young lady sat patiently in her garden, waiting for someone. She had been waiting for a long while now, of course, and she wondered why it was taking so long—but, if it would get her the object she so desperately wanted, well! She could wait. After all, it wasn't as if that object was easy to come by. At least, not in Hyrule castle, it wasn't. Why else would she have sent someone else off to get it?
"Princess!"

The young lady looked up, eyes shining. Finally! "Link! You're back! Did you get it?"
The green-clad adventurer, Link, grinned proudly. "Yes, Princess Zelda. I got it." He dug into his bag eagerly, searching for it beneath all the other, now useless objects he had picked up on his travels, then—he held up the Triforce, eyes glittering with joy as he gently handed it to the Princess, waiting patiently for whatever might come next—
"What? Link! I asked you for a Trifork, not the Triforce! Whatever would I want with such a thing?"
Link stared, horrified. "What? A trifork, your highness?"
"Yes. A three-pronged fork, Link. For salads." Zelda glared at Link, handing back the Triforce.
Link gulped, and nodded. He knew better than to argue with the Princess, as she had a terrible temper and the power to make anyone's life miserable. "Um, okay, I guess it'll be easy to get a trifork now. But what am I supposed to do with the Triforce?"
Zelda sniffed dismissively. "Whatever you want. Sell it, name it, take it for walks, I don't care. Just get me that trifork!"
"Yes, Princess. Right away, Princess." Link sighed as he stuffed the Triforce back into his pack and stomped off to find a trifork, hoping only that it wouldn't be half so hard to find as the Triforce...

Yay. Comments? Complaints? Fangirlish rants about how mean Zelda is to Link? Flames about how I shouldn't have made Zelda so darned mean? Go ahead. Review!

NOTE: Thanks to a kind reviewer, I've been alerted to the fact that the Triforce should NOT have been all together— seeing as Link, Ganondork, and Zelda each hold their respective pieces. Okay, I admit it, that was an awful mistake. I meant for there to be only TWO pieces, as my definitition of "defeated" is "dead", and I doubt the Triforce piece of Power would hang around a dead Ganondork— I'm sorry, I meant Ganondorf, of course. And then Link's piece, Courage, would be there as well. I could, of course, edit it now... but I'm frightfully lazy, so here's my explanation: in this alternate otherworld, Ganondorf had all three pieces. Why, I don't know, but he did... until he was killed by Link, of course. So there you are! No more complaints, please!