Note from Disclaimer:
This story was based off a truely real love I have for my best friend & closet companion, Peter Lewis. In the year and a half that I've known him, he has been a constant inspiration, and a reminder to me, always, of how lucky I really am. He has taught me through good times and bad, there will always be us, and our love for each other to keep our sanity. That is of course, if we haven't already 'gone off the edge' already.
I don't know what I would do without his constant support in everything I do in life, his unbelievable loving guidance through the troubled times I have been faced with, when he was around, and the heartwarming laughter he brings into my life, each and every day I'm around him. He's truely one of a kind.
I love him than most living people on this Earth, and I dedicate this piece of writing to him, in honor of his happiness he has brought into both of our lives. It really means a lot to me.
I love you, Monkey.
Yours truely,
Sugarbob
PS: You taught me to say what I feel? Well, here it is....
"Fingido Amor"
( Make-Believe Love ) Digits Dream - Part I
By: Claire Thixton
DarkVoltoriz
His left hand touched my left, and as I turned swiftly, to evade his right - which lay below my chest - his fingers met my right hand, briskly. We were connected in every way, and it was as if our minds connected together, and we were able to tell what the other was thinking almost precisely.
"Try harder...," he whispered, his face near mine as he moved quickly downwawrd, turning so that his hand was to meet my side, and I turned with him, dropping lower and moving a leg outward to tripp him. He tripped slowly, falling gracefully to the floor, with a thump. I squatted down quickly, my hands met the floor beside his sides, my face inches from his - smiling lightly. "I believe that is what you call a victorious finish...". He looked up to me, haven not taken his eyes from mine since the second we had began training.
"Morpheus will be worried if we don't head back soon, James..," I whispered, looking down at him, my fingers tied like knots to the floor - refusing to move. It was funny how I had called him that, and he never seemed to argue with me about it - even though he had gotten on Neo and Link's case the moment they both started saying anything other than Bullseye. He looked as though he was just as ill-willed to move himself, brushing pieces of my hair that had fallen into his face, back behind my ears, lightly smiling.
I don't understand it sometimes, I suppose. Ever since I was little, I had always fantasized what it would be like. Falling in love. And even for a period of time, I thought I was in love with Tank. Then, when I finally realised what love truely was, I was afraid of it, and didn't want it as badly as I had when I was little. Lately, it had scared me even more, because of the feelings I had been getting toward James.
Your not what he needs, Elise.....
I heard the voices in my head, as I looked back to him, shaking the thoughts away and rolling off of him - so I sat next to him instead. He looked startled by this and sat up, looking to me curiously. I couldn't look back however. Those brown eyes got to me so badly, it made me ache.
"What's troubling you, Digit?", he whispered, a hand sliding under my chin - to lift it - so I was looking towards him again. I shook him away sadly, as my eyes drifted off to the floor again, my words easily read by the look on my face. "Your sca--".
"Bullseye", the projected, deep voice of Morpheus stung hard.
He stopped everything. It was if his mind controlled his heart - and his mind told his heart to stop caring the moment he heard his name called in such a manner. I became nothing more than the wind, as he stood up. He was a soldier after all. Duities to serve at will. No time for pettied little games with love. No time for me. But then again, wasting time daydreaming about love he didn't even know about, was usless - what was the point of wishing for him, when he didn't even know..?
"Stop fooling around in there. We've got buisness to attend to...," his voice echoed the walls of the trainning simulation. In seconds, green codes flashed through my eyes, and I was back - in the chair, where this had all started.
Bullseye had already disappeared with Neo and Morpheus, and I was left staring at Link from behind. He was chuckling from the way it sounded, and I scowled - arms crossing over my chest. "Whats so funny, Link?", I managed to ask, in a 'more-or-less' calm tone of voice.
Links voice was monotone, compared to its normal energetic 'perk', "You were going to... Wern't you?". I chose to ignore the question, simply staring at the wall in ackward silence. Link grew hesitant, but concluded his own responce to the question, and continued typing away at the computer, effortlessly.
It was driving away the edges of my sanity like slow cocaine. "Your just being paranoid, Elise," I mumbled. Link looked up again from his work, instantly drawing conclusions. "What did you say?", he wondered aloud, spinning in his chair.
I paused as I stood up, dark brownish red curly hair getting the best of me. "Nevermind, Tank...," I smiled a forced, pleading smile, edging toward the door. "I'm going to call it a night..." I could still hear the echoing voices of Neo and Morpheus, as I opened the door. "Tell everyone I said goodnight, Link," I murmured and he watched voiceless as I slipped from the room into the fridgid openess of the Neb.
"We'll be able to send him in tomorrow, Neo," the voice was easily recognised as Morpheus's. I had never heard such a tone to his voice before. It was like - if a hawk could talk before a hunt, he would sound exactly like Morpheus had sounded at that precise moment. "We'll send him in, and he'll be the one to distroy her..." I had stopped, in the middle of the hallway, and as suddenly as Morpheus had stopped, I felt the tingle of a stare on the right side of my face. I turned, in ackward surprise, to find Neo and Morpheus both staring, four eyes - on my two, that slowly edged toward the floor. "..I..was only off to bed," I interjected, "But...I guess I wanted to tell you guys goodnight.." The unplesent looks to their faces faded slowly, as I scooted past them. Neo resorted to associating me with a pat on the back, and once again I left in the presence of an unsettling silence.
I tried to relax. If not for myself, then for him. He'd want me not to worry about him, but I couldn't almost help myself for worrying. He was almost everything I had. My view infront of me, as I walked became fuzzy and I felt the tears dripping down the sides of my face. I began getting angry with myself, not understanding why I had attached myself to him so quickly. He was just..James. Just Bullseye. This crazy kid I had met not but just a year ago, and just befriended him, because he needed someone to care about. My sudden outburst made me frow in disgust at the thought of it. Why did he have to care about me..? Why couldn't he have cared about some other Zion girl.. or someone besides me?.. Why did such a wonderful person have to give his heart to me?.. I'm getting to much of a bother, I thought. I was supposed to help, to be a strong, fearless fighter. All I had managed to do, however, was try to keep myself from falling hoplessly in love with my allies. Did this just make me pointless to have around..?
I slowed down, as to I almost passed up my door, reassuring myself, with a decent amount of sleep, everything would be fine. I stared at the circular lock that latched my room closed tight. I wondered for a second, if it really was the right thing for me to be here or not, but I shrugged it off quickly. Letting my hand slide through the latch, the sensors began to click, as I relaxed my palm. Then slowly, as if by magic, the door crept open.
Much to my surprise the room was already partially lit - apparently someone had decided to camp out in my room for the night. As I strolled in, I noticed Bullseye's unmistakable shadow bellied over ontop of my bed, arms over his face, breathing rather loudly.
"Hey," I whispered, rather loudly, sliding the door shut with my back, and hearing it clank shut, and the lock latch back over. I gave myself a second to get used to the darkness as well.
"Hey.", he replied, voice emotionless. He didn't make any effort towards noticing my presence, never-the-less in my own bedroom, and I fidgited, holding back a slight bit of irritation that throbbed my temples. I had to be calm with him. Being irritated was being irrational, and that wouldn't solve anything.
"Whats the matter?", I whispered, a little softer. It was hard for me not to run to his side, and comfort him, like I often would do. But I managed to keep my composer. I don't know what I must've done to make him move, but finally he was rolling on his side, facing me, his head propped up by his hand. He gave me the same intent stare as earlier, brown eyes met brown eyes and they were bound together - unmoving.
"I've been worried," he managed to admit and I raised a brow - surprised how assertive he had been to my question. He was almost never like that, a 'beat around the bush' and 'crack jokes to lighten the mood' type guy. Not blunt and right to the point. Something in my stomach churned, as I moved closer, sitting on the bed next to him. "Bullseye...", I whispered, reassuringly, "I'm sure everything will be fine tom--".
"I'm afraid I'm going to die, Digit," he blurted out, finishing my sentence. Something deep inside me, at that precise moment gave me control over my fingertips, that brushed lightly over his hand - and for a breif moment I lost control of my thoughts. He continued to stare at me, as I looked back to him. I could get lost in those eyes, I thought, my head in a happier place.
"I'm just some scared kid," he stared at me, as if I had the answers to all his problems. I wanted to help him so badly.." I know, Bullseye. You and me both are...".
I felt his muscles in his hand tense, as he formed a fist under my fingers. "I'm supposed to be brave", he scowled, "I'm supposed to be the fearless warrior Morpheus and Neo--". I cut him off, my lips getting close to his, and a finger lightly touching his, so that he could no longer speak. "I know your brave, Bullseye," I whispered, that odd mysterious smile reaching the corners of my lips and it glazed over my dark brown eyes that stared into him, like he had to me, moments earlier. Supposedly, my first reaction was to hesitate before speaking again, but instead I just spoke what my head and heart told me to, "I...I..love you..", I stammered slightly, but the tone of my voice welded power and meaning. "..I love you, and..I'm going to prove it to you".
This story was based off a truely real love I have for my best friend & closet companion, Peter Lewis. In the year and a half that I've known him, he has been a constant inspiration, and a reminder to me, always, of how lucky I really am. He has taught me through good times and bad, there will always be us, and our love for each other to keep our sanity. That is of course, if we haven't already 'gone off the edge' already.
I don't know what I would do without his constant support in everything I do in life, his unbelievable loving guidance through the troubled times I have been faced with, when he was around, and the heartwarming laughter he brings into my life, each and every day I'm around him. He's truely one of a kind.
I love him than most living people on this Earth, and I dedicate this piece of writing to him, in honor of his happiness he has brought into both of our lives. It really means a lot to me.
I love you, Monkey.
Yours truely,
Sugarbob
PS: You taught me to say what I feel? Well, here it is....
"Fingido Amor"
( Make-Believe Love ) Digits Dream - Part I
By: Claire Thixton
DarkVoltoriz
His left hand touched my left, and as I turned swiftly, to evade his right - which lay below my chest - his fingers met my right hand, briskly. We were connected in every way, and it was as if our minds connected together, and we were able to tell what the other was thinking almost precisely.
"Try harder...," he whispered, his face near mine as he moved quickly downwawrd, turning so that his hand was to meet my side, and I turned with him, dropping lower and moving a leg outward to tripp him. He tripped slowly, falling gracefully to the floor, with a thump. I squatted down quickly, my hands met the floor beside his sides, my face inches from his - smiling lightly. "I believe that is what you call a victorious finish...". He looked up to me, haven not taken his eyes from mine since the second we had began training.
"Morpheus will be worried if we don't head back soon, James..," I whispered, looking down at him, my fingers tied like knots to the floor - refusing to move. It was funny how I had called him that, and he never seemed to argue with me about it - even though he had gotten on Neo and Link's case the moment they both started saying anything other than Bullseye. He looked as though he was just as ill-willed to move himself, brushing pieces of my hair that had fallen into his face, back behind my ears, lightly smiling.
I don't understand it sometimes, I suppose. Ever since I was little, I had always fantasized what it would be like. Falling in love. And even for a period of time, I thought I was in love with Tank. Then, when I finally realised what love truely was, I was afraid of it, and didn't want it as badly as I had when I was little. Lately, it had scared me even more, because of the feelings I had been getting toward James.
Your not what he needs, Elise.....
I heard the voices in my head, as I looked back to him, shaking the thoughts away and rolling off of him - so I sat next to him instead. He looked startled by this and sat up, looking to me curiously. I couldn't look back however. Those brown eyes got to me so badly, it made me ache.
"What's troubling you, Digit?", he whispered, a hand sliding under my chin - to lift it - so I was looking towards him again. I shook him away sadly, as my eyes drifted off to the floor again, my words easily read by the look on my face. "Your sca--".
"Bullseye", the projected, deep voice of Morpheus stung hard.
He stopped everything. It was if his mind controlled his heart - and his mind told his heart to stop caring the moment he heard his name called in such a manner. I became nothing more than the wind, as he stood up. He was a soldier after all. Duities to serve at will. No time for pettied little games with love. No time for me. But then again, wasting time daydreaming about love he didn't even know about, was usless - what was the point of wishing for him, when he didn't even know..?
"Stop fooling around in there. We've got buisness to attend to...," his voice echoed the walls of the trainning simulation. In seconds, green codes flashed through my eyes, and I was back - in the chair, where this had all started.
Bullseye had already disappeared with Neo and Morpheus, and I was left staring at Link from behind. He was chuckling from the way it sounded, and I scowled - arms crossing over my chest. "Whats so funny, Link?", I managed to ask, in a 'more-or-less' calm tone of voice.
Links voice was monotone, compared to its normal energetic 'perk', "You were going to... Wern't you?". I chose to ignore the question, simply staring at the wall in ackward silence. Link grew hesitant, but concluded his own responce to the question, and continued typing away at the computer, effortlessly.
It was driving away the edges of my sanity like slow cocaine. "Your just being paranoid, Elise," I mumbled. Link looked up again from his work, instantly drawing conclusions. "What did you say?", he wondered aloud, spinning in his chair.
I paused as I stood up, dark brownish red curly hair getting the best of me. "Nevermind, Tank...," I smiled a forced, pleading smile, edging toward the door. "I'm going to call it a night..." I could still hear the echoing voices of Neo and Morpheus, as I opened the door. "Tell everyone I said goodnight, Link," I murmured and he watched voiceless as I slipped from the room into the fridgid openess of the Neb.
"We'll be able to send him in tomorrow, Neo," the voice was easily recognised as Morpheus's. I had never heard such a tone to his voice before. It was like - if a hawk could talk before a hunt, he would sound exactly like Morpheus had sounded at that precise moment. "We'll send him in, and he'll be the one to distroy her..." I had stopped, in the middle of the hallway, and as suddenly as Morpheus had stopped, I felt the tingle of a stare on the right side of my face. I turned, in ackward surprise, to find Neo and Morpheus both staring, four eyes - on my two, that slowly edged toward the floor. "..I..was only off to bed," I interjected, "But...I guess I wanted to tell you guys goodnight.." The unplesent looks to their faces faded slowly, as I scooted past them. Neo resorted to associating me with a pat on the back, and once again I left in the presence of an unsettling silence.
I tried to relax. If not for myself, then for him. He'd want me not to worry about him, but I couldn't almost help myself for worrying. He was almost everything I had. My view infront of me, as I walked became fuzzy and I felt the tears dripping down the sides of my face. I began getting angry with myself, not understanding why I had attached myself to him so quickly. He was just..James. Just Bullseye. This crazy kid I had met not but just a year ago, and just befriended him, because he needed someone to care about. My sudden outburst made me frow in disgust at the thought of it. Why did he have to care about me..? Why couldn't he have cared about some other Zion girl.. or someone besides me?.. Why did such a wonderful person have to give his heart to me?.. I'm getting to much of a bother, I thought. I was supposed to help, to be a strong, fearless fighter. All I had managed to do, however, was try to keep myself from falling hoplessly in love with my allies. Did this just make me pointless to have around..?
I slowed down, as to I almost passed up my door, reassuring myself, with a decent amount of sleep, everything would be fine. I stared at the circular lock that latched my room closed tight. I wondered for a second, if it really was the right thing for me to be here or not, but I shrugged it off quickly. Letting my hand slide through the latch, the sensors began to click, as I relaxed my palm. Then slowly, as if by magic, the door crept open.
Much to my surprise the room was already partially lit - apparently someone had decided to camp out in my room for the night. As I strolled in, I noticed Bullseye's unmistakable shadow bellied over ontop of my bed, arms over his face, breathing rather loudly.
"Hey," I whispered, rather loudly, sliding the door shut with my back, and hearing it clank shut, and the lock latch back over. I gave myself a second to get used to the darkness as well.
"Hey.", he replied, voice emotionless. He didn't make any effort towards noticing my presence, never-the-less in my own bedroom, and I fidgited, holding back a slight bit of irritation that throbbed my temples. I had to be calm with him. Being irritated was being irrational, and that wouldn't solve anything.
"Whats the matter?", I whispered, a little softer. It was hard for me not to run to his side, and comfort him, like I often would do. But I managed to keep my composer. I don't know what I must've done to make him move, but finally he was rolling on his side, facing me, his head propped up by his hand. He gave me the same intent stare as earlier, brown eyes met brown eyes and they were bound together - unmoving.
"I've been worried," he managed to admit and I raised a brow - surprised how assertive he had been to my question. He was almost never like that, a 'beat around the bush' and 'crack jokes to lighten the mood' type guy. Not blunt and right to the point. Something in my stomach churned, as I moved closer, sitting on the bed next to him. "Bullseye...", I whispered, reassuringly, "I'm sure everything will be fine tom--".
"I'm afraid I'm going to die, Digit," he blurted out, finishing my sentence. Something deep inside me, at that precise moment gave me control over my fingertips, that brushed lightly over his hand - and for a breif moment I lost control of my thoughts. He continued to stare at me, as I looked back to him. I could get lost in those eyes, I thought, my head in a happier place.
"I'm just some scared kid," he stared at me, as if I had the answers to all his problems. I wanted to help him so badly.." I know, Bullseye. You and me both are...".
I felt his muscles in his hand tense, as he formed a fist under my fingers. "I'm supposed to be brave", he scowled, "I'm supposed to be the fearless warrior Morpheus and Neo--". I cut him off, my lips getting close to his, and a finger lightly touching his, so that he could no longer speak. "I know your brave, Bullseye," I whispered, that odd mysterious smile reaching the corners of my lips and it glazed over my dark brown eyes that stared into him, like he had to me, moments earlier. Supposedly, my first reaction was to hesitate before speaking again, but instead I just spoke what my head and heart told me to, "I...I..love you..", I stammered slightly, but the tone of my voice welded power and meaning. "..I love you, and..I'm going to prove it to you".