AN: So this is my first time writing Kennett, hope I got the characters down well enough. (Also I'm a very bitter Bonnie stan and Kol stan so the annoyance that they may feel for the other characters may be my resentment of how they've been treated on the show towards the writers)
ANYWAYS!
Happy reading! : ) Reviews are always lovely, especially since I've never written this couple before!
Bonnie always felt not quite there. She was both alive and dead, she was in between worlds -a state which couldn't be remedied by the thoughtful words her friends imprinted on her. Bonnie ached, she was in constant throbbing pain from each passing supernatural being. The pain was the only thing she had to cling to in a world where she was a mere shadow.
It hurt to walk, to talk and even to breathe. She tried to fake a smile and pretend that she wasn't constantly tip toeing around on pins and needles but Bonnie wasn't invincible, sometimes her walls broke. Being around people for too long -people who believed her to be perfectly fine- sometimes became overbearing and more work than it was truly worth.
She wanted Jeremy to understand why she recoiled when he reached out his hands to touch her, or when she pulled back as his lips crashed against hers. But he couldn't. So Bonnie told him to stop trying and eventually Jeremy listened.
Her friends tried to understand but they were so caught up in the rest of the drama unfolding around them that it appeared Bonnie's constant unnerving pain was placed on the back burner. Not that Bonnie blamed them -she hardly complained so why would they question her happiness?
It was the nights that were the hardest, when Bonnie had to rage a war to keep her eyes closed because if she opened them there would be somebody there. A witch, a vampire, a werewolf -it didn't matter. They all wanted to cross over and Bonnie needed her sleep.
The night that started it all however, was one that Bonnie remembered with certain clarity. She had been laying in bed for hours, trying to block the begging sounds of a young vampire who'd been recently staked when another voice broke through. "Let the Lady be." He commanded.
Bonnie felt something inside of her stir, the voice sounding familiar. Her eyes opened to watch the vampire retreat into the blackness of the night. In his place stood a tall man, brown hair, smirking down at her nearly sleeping figure with amusement. "You alright Darling?"
"Kol." Bonnie whispered, not all to sure that she could fathom somebody as psychotic and murderous as the Original before her, turning out to be her knight in shining armour.
His peered down at her, seemingly fascinated by her reaction to him. "Get some rest Bonnie."
And then he left and Bonnie slept.
-o-
Over the course of the week Bonnie got a better night sleep than she ever had in her entire existence. She couldn't call it a life anymore -because technically there was a body with her face on it buried within the dirt beneath the high school. So Bonnie chose to call it an existence, understanding that her presence in the material world was fragile.
She'd never admit it to her friends -the ones that actually noticed how much more delightful she'd been the past few days- that Kol was the reason she'd changed. He appeared whenever the sun went down, perching close to her but not near enough to touch so that no other supernatural being dared try to break her sleep.
Bonnie should have felt unsettled by his eyes glued to her like a glorified watch dog but oddly enough -he comforted her.
In the morning he'd be gone with the sunrise. She almost felt dirty about the unspoken truce they had, like a one night stand that turned into a friends with benefits relationship. Though they never exchanged two words to each other since he first appeared to her.
Perhaps that was the real issue.
Why had he suddenly decided she was worth watching over? Why did he think that she'd welcome his protective position with open arms? Unless he had been watching her, seeing the tired eyes they she had been hoping nobody noticed.
But that raised another question, why did he care so damn much?
Bonnie realized that she was never going to figure it out for herself unless sheasked him herself. He'd always been smirking and floating around town like he was higher than everybody when he'd been among the living -she prayed he wouldn't be as obnoxious to talk to in death.
That night when he appeared she made sure Elena and Caroline were fast asleep. Both exhausted from their recent Augustine problem that day. Kol perched near the foot of her bed, face lit softly by the lamp on her bedside table.
Bonnie glanced up at him, appreciating the roundness of his face, like a child that had yet to fully grow, it played a large role in reminding her of how innocent he had once been as a human. How innocent all of the Originals had been. Though his jaw betrayed his boyish cheeks, it was defined enough to establish the man in him -the vampire that killed. However it was his eyes that caught her attention the most. They seemed endless to her, pools of dark brown that travelled through centuries. Kol managed to look both saddened and hopeful, curious yet distant and it amazed her. How could one person posses so much inside of them?
"Can't sleep Darling?" He noticed her watching him, fingers tapping on the edge of her bed as he examined her. Bonnie sat up almost immediately, feeling more exposed when she was laying down like a child. "What's eating at you?"
Her voice was low, knowing that having vampires for roommates would get her in trouble eventually. "You."
Kol's expression was fist surprise and then smugness. His feet made no sound as moved to sit on the edge of her bed, the sheets didn't wrinkle under his weight and Bonnie felt herself being reminded that it was only the curse of being an anchor that she was able to leave those impression in the human domain.
"What have I done?" He smirked at her with such intrigue Bonnie felt frozen. Why did he care for her so much? Why want to know her feelings? Why watch her as she slept?
Bonnie crossed her legs under the blanket, wanting to put as much distance between herself and the Original. Kol had been sitting near her feet, though he no longer was. "Why have you been looking out for me?"
His smirk morphed into something Bonnie was surprised to see: a smile. Kol appeared genuine in his expression, tilting his head as if she were a rare species to him. Bonnie felt like an ant caught in the sunlight of a microscope when he looked at her. It burned but she couldn't escape. She found herself not wanting to.
Kol shrugged his shoulders slowly, keeping his expression steady on his face. "You're mysterious to me Little Witch." Bonnie shivered at the nick name.
She tried to hide her reaction to his endearment, finding it easier to confront him when she believed she had the upper hand. Though Bonnie was not clueless - Kol would always have her in his grasp. "Why? Because I'm the anchor?"
His chuckle was light, barely there. If Bonnie had been surrounded by a large crowd of chattering college kids she wouldn't have caught it. But she wasn't. Bonnie was sitting with Kol Mikaelson in the middle of the night with her best friends sleeping unaware merely five steps away.
Kol glanced at the floor before catching her curious eyes again. "I've been watching your interactions with your so called friends." Bonnie didn't appreciate the way he regarded her closest comrades, but she decided to let it go because she needed an answer from him. "You've been in such pain Bonnie and none of them have spared you a moment."
She felt the need to defend them because Kol knew nothing. "They have their own problems." Bonnie watched Caroline's chest rising and falling, knowing full well she didn't actually need to breathe but it was a habit. She thought of how twisted their lives had become, how vampires were the one constant in her life she could count on. "I don't want to burden them."
"I noticed." He spoke playfully but Bonnie heard the serious undertone. Something inside of Kol was angry that she had been neglecting her own feelings for the benefit of those around her. But it had always been that way. Bonnie had been the witch -the one with all the supposed answers- and so when there was an issue they called her. They pushed her, pulled her, prodded at her powers until they left her crumpled like a rag doll in the ashes. So when they didn't notice her struggle each day she merely accepted it. "You deserve to be surrounded by people that care for you."
"Are you suggesting you do?" Bonnie snapped at him, her growl not going unheard to the Original. She was protective of those she loved -no matter the unfortunate way they disregarded her feelings.
Kol's smirk returned with a vengeance. He oozed confidence and cockiness, knowing that he was having an effect on her. "I'm suggesting I would."
Bonnie opened her mouth but the words were forgotten, nothing was coming out. Her brain was screaming a million different ways she could respond to such a foolish statement when they became irrelevant. Kol dissipated into the blackness of the room before Bonnie had the chance to speak anything.
Her head rested against her pillow gently. Even though Kol wasn't in her vision she knew that he was somewhere very close watching her. Always watching her.
-o-
Friendship was a flexible word and very, very hard to clearly define. Caroline and Elena were Bonnie's best friends, they had been with her through every hardship she'd encountered and she loved them more than anything. But sometimes Bonnie couldn't bother to care about their issues, and she didn't feel like hanging out with them to watch a movie. Sometimes Bonnie was angry with them, boiling hot rage that consumed her mind until she busted. But Bonnie knew that they felt the same way for her sometimes. No friendship was perfect.
Which was why Bonnie knew the definition of 'friend' was complicated and Kol Mikaelson managed to weave his way into the cracks of the word somehow.
He started to appear to her in the day light after their talk. During class he'd sit beside her, cracking jokes about the professor that made her laugh. She'd bite her cheek to stifle the giggle but it was useless. Elena and Caroline always managed to catch her uncalled for reactions. Even when it wasn't her friends it was a classmate who had to think Bonnie was off her rocker. Bonnie found herself not caring.
Sometimes he'd watch movies with her in the lounge, talking about how he had met the actor once before and if Bonnie said she thought he was hot -Kol instantly called him a prick. It was kind of endearing the way his eyes glowered at the screen, the way his eyebrows knitted together in -jealousy? Bonnie's only response was to laugh.
He helped her with history when she got stuck, he told her beforehand whenever she was going to have a major assignment due -because he was a ghost, he could spy on her teachers- and as always, he watched her at night.
But just because he protected her in the night didn't mean that the day was alright. They all still found her, still begged them to help her and Bonnie obligated. The pain was excruciating each time, it never ceased to amaze her that every vein in her body could be set on fire yet still make it through unscathed. However, Kol was always there. He watched with horror as she tried to hide her tears, tried to keep standing upright. Because if there was one thing Bonnie Bennett hated feeling it was weak. Kol always smiled after she was done and said, "Look at you Little Witch, strong as ever."
Then Bonnie didn't feel so helpless.
It was odd that he could stand beside her in a crowd of people and nobody suspected he was there. Caroline would ramble on for hours to her, sitting on her bed with her hair in a bun and her eyes wide with emotions and she'd be utterly clueless to Kol Mikaelson leaning against the wall only a few meters away.
Sometimes Bonnie thought about divulging her little secret to Caroline. Out of her and Elena, Caroline seemed most likely to understand the Original allure. Klaus had tried to charm the pants off of her and she could argue it all she wanted but Bonnie knew Caroline had though about him once or twice.
But no. Her and Kol's whatever is was had to remain what it was. A secret.
It wasn't out of shame or embarrassment that she was talking to him, but more because Bonnie liked having somebody that she could talk to who her friends couldn't make her feel guilty about. Elena couldn't wiggle a finger in her face and chastise her for taking comfort in Kol, and that relieved her more than she had realized.
-o-
Drinking to Katherine's death seemed tacky and distasteful to Bonnie but she went along for the ride anyways. Part of her was glad that Stefan stood up for the former vampires -even if she did deserve every second of death she was going to have.
Kol sat beside her on the couch beside her, unannounced to her friends of course. None of them knew that he was commenting on how much of an ass Damon was being or how death was horrid for anybody -no matter how awful they'd been in life.
"That Doppelganger is annoying." He commented, watching Elena down a shot saying that she had suffered the most at Katherine's hands. Bonnie glared at him from the corner of her eye, trying not to catch anybody's attention. "I wonder if Katherine will enjoy the other side."
Bonnie wanted to ask him why he cared about Katherine's passing, but she knew that it would get her caught, so she kept quiet and watched Damon take another shot that she knew he'd regret in the morning.
The day became even more complicated when Matt went missing at the hands of Nadia and search parties were sent out. Bonnie and Caroline had decided to take off together, making sure they escaped before Jeremy could tag along.
"Thanks for taking pity on me and my ex-boyfriend issues." She smiled at her friend, thankful Caroline had sense her unease without a word having to be spoken.
Caroline shrugged nonchalantly, "No problem Bon, we've all had the ex-boyfriend issue."
Bonnie could hear Kol speaking behind her, his feet kicking at gravel without a sound. "Poor Jeremy, hung up on you." She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but refrained.
She and Caroline eventually decided to split up, seeing as Caroline's ears could pick up more than hers ever could -plus the blonde was faster. Bonnie wondered around for a while with no success - having to get through listening to Kol's questions about why the commoner was worth so much of their time- before she headed back to the boarding house.
Surprisingly she found Matt there smiling -but she didn't see Caroline anywhere.
"Where's Caroline?" Bonnie asked, pulling Matt in for a bone crushing hug.
Matt laughed, pressing his temple against the face of Bonnie's face. Bonnie supposed being trapped in a safe would leave a human more damaged but Matt seemed nothing but his happy self. "No clue, Rebekah got me out."
She pulled back, "What's Rebekah doing here?" Matt shrugged.
Bonnie looked around for input from Kol but he was nowhere to be found. Normally he'd be ride beside her, eyes wide, smug expression, ready to tell her every last juicy detail of his sisters misadventures but this time he was absent. Bonnie decided to let it go, figuring he'd return later to tell her.
-o-
He did appear to her again as Bonnie had been sure he would. This time he looked mischievous -his inner demons finally making the grand appearance Bonnie had been awaiting ever since their 'relationship' had began. She sat beside Jeremy on the couch, trying to ignore the way his eyes were setting flame to the back of her head when Kol materialized beside her.
Bonnie jumped.
"What's wrong?" Jeremy asked with concern. Stefan looked at her then, along with Damon. Both of them seemed concerned but she knew that they were only waiting to hear confirmation of Katherine's death -and nothing more.
She waved him off with a flick of her wrist, "Just a witch passing over." Kol started to laugh at her obvious lie -but what else could she have done? The truth was not an option.
Kol's laughter quickly died down, his body regaining it's control that it once had. He took his place on the other side of her, looking ready to burst with scandalous news. "You'll never believe what I've just seen." Bonnie's eyes flickered to his before they went back to the door. "Caroline has finally given into my brothers charms."
Bonnie tried her best not to react to the news what with so many people in the room but she couldn't help the way her eyes widened and her body stiffened. That's when the front door opened and in walked the blonde in question, pulling a leaf out of her hair as if it being there was an every day occurrence.
Not being able to help herself Bonnie stood from the couch, "You slept with Klaus?"
Caroline looked mortified as everybody in the room turned to stare at her in shock. Including Tyler walking through the front door.
-o-
Bonnie couldn't blame Caroline for being upset with her, she had stepped over the line. She'd used Kol's information in the most treacherous way a friend could. But did she feel guilty? No.
It was sad that whenever she thought about how Tyler had nearly wolfed out at Caroline -before Stefan stopped him- Bonnie didn't feel responsible. She hated the way that Caroline felt the need to constantly try and win back Tyler's affections and how she'd come home every day disappointed that he'd rejected her. But not once did Bonnie feel like the guilt was laid on her.
She blamed him for that.
"You're turning me into a monster." She declared when he sat with her on the bench in front of her dorm building. Bonnie had wanted to be alone for awhile with her feelings -to trying and make her brain some to the conclusion that yes, she was in the wrong. But nothing was happening and she felt as though she was grasping at air.
His feet crossed near the ground, his arm draped along the back of the bench. Bonnie couldn't tell if he was offended or relaxed. Many of his facial expression coincided.
"Now Little Witch I wouldn't say that." He peered at her with those eyes of his and Bonnie felt herself drowning in them once again. It seemed that almost once a day she was lost in the sea of emotions he contained in those brown orbs. The waves of his anger, his hurt, his longing, his happiness, his pain, his joy, and his lust nearly pulled her under until there was no escape. How did he manage to hold such power of her? Bonnie Bennett was stronger than Kol Mikaelson -at least that's what she told herself to make it easier. He had become a fixture in her life without Bonnie even noticing, and that made her weak.
"No?" She countered, trying to build the power in her voice back up once again.
Kol cocked his head to the side, "I'm only showing you that your friends are no better than you." Bonnie rolled her eyes at his notion. Ever since their first talk in her bed Kol had been determined to show her that she too was important. "Caroline shagged my brother, Elena and Jeremy killed me." He emphasized the last few words in bitterness.
And Bonnie couldn't really blame him.
When she died it was because she wanted to. At the time bringing Jeremy back for Elena was the only thing that mattered, and if she was going to go out then having it be on her terms seemed like the best way to Bonnie. Kol however had been -recklessly and violently she might add- been killed because he was merely trying to protect them from the hell Silas would unleash unto all of them. Bonnie had concluded long ago that she was on team Kol in the matters involving his death.
"Bonnie," he called to her through her thoughts, ironically anchoring her to the present moment, "Your feelings are no less important then the hypocritical Mystic Falls Gang!" Normally Bonnie would defend her friends -she really did want to. She wanted to slap Kol across the face and inform him that those were her friends he was insulting- but she was tired and for once Kol's argument didn't sound so preposterous.
Quietly she thanked him, allowing herself to fall trap once again to his bottomless gaze. "Thank you Kol." She licked her lips as she watched his mouth curve into a smile. "I'm sorry you died."
He said nothing but he didn't have to. Bonnie saw all she needed to in his face -and she'd be the only one to every see it again.
-o-
Bonnie didn't know when it happened but one moment Kol had been laughing beside her ear at a joke she'd told him, and the next was trying to resist the urge to turn her head slightly and pull him towards her lips.
She was not that kind of girl -ever. But Bonnie began finding the line between friendship and romance blurring each time Kol made his presence known to her and it was terrifying. Not because it was Kol -no Bonnie had gotten over the Original title he held, the vampire state he had been cursed to and the constant sass he protruded.
No, she was scared out of her mind because Kol was dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. Bonnie had no chance of being with him because he wasn't among the living anymore. She could dream of holding him to her, him kissing her hair as they cuddled in her bed, the way he'd grin down at her and tell her she worried too much after a hard day. But it would never happen.
Even if Kol did want her the way she wanted him it was impossible because the moment they touched -Kol would be gone to the other side.
So when he found her laying still in bed, clutching her pillow to her chest he was worried. By then he knew her inside and out. Kol could instantly tell that something was breaking her heart without Bonnie having to utter a word. "What's wrong Little Witch?"
Bonnie had spent much of her life in the shadows of others. She was always second in line when it came to being protected, it was her that suffered the most to meet the goal her friends craved. It was safe to say Bonnie was selfless. But sometimes she wanted to grab the bull by the horns and take something for herself.
So she did. "I think I'm in love with you." Her voice was barely audible when she announced her feelings, knowing that only the ears of a vampire could hear her.
Kol froze where he stood, his grin so wide that crinkles formed at the sides of his eyes. Bonnie had never seen something so devastatingly handsome, and also heartbreaking. She'd never be able to run her fingers down the side of his face and admire the way he let his smile reach his ears, and his stubble would never scratch along her skin as he kissed down her neck. They'd never be together in the ways Bonnie craved and it felt like a punch to the gut.
"Did I hear that right?" He asked incredulously, obviously caught off guard by her admission. "Is Bonnie Bennett in love with little ol' me?"
Bonnie's smile was weak, "tragedy isn't it?"
Kol sat on the edge of her bed, careful not to make contact with her. "The true tragedy Bonnie is that I too have fallen in love." She glanced at him wondering what angle he was playing. "You're a pretty special woman, how could I not?"
Bonnie shook her head, she hadn't wanted to hear that. "But we can't be together." Knowing that Kol felt the same way for her was a curse, it was hard enough to deal with their romance never happening when the feelings were unrequited but now that she knew Kol wanted her the same way she longed for him -everything started to ache.
A tear slipped from her eyes.
"Hey now," He comforted her as he watched the water stain her delicate skin, "don't cry over me. I'm not worth it." She found irony in that. All this time Kol had been pleading with her to see the meaning in her own self -yet he carried no pride for his own. Bonnie would have laughed if she hadn't been so damned depressed. "Why don't you sleep?"
Bonnie eyed him curiously, "I can't."
Kol shook his head at her foolishness, the same face she'd seen a million times converting into that of a young boy. A boy in love. "I'll be here in the morning Bonnie I promise."
"You won't leave?"
"Never."
Strong be damned! Bonnie didn't care if she was a puddle at his feet or a prisoner in his heart she loved him. She had never felt so connected to a single person before -probably because nobody had paid enough attention. But Kol cared and more importantly he didn't do it because she made him, it was all on his own accord.
To Kol, Bonnie was worth it and something about that was so beautifully human that it made her feel almost alive.
Ahhhhhh! Hope you enjoyed it! Kind of angsty I'm so sorry!
Reviews are greatly appreciated!