DISCLAIMER: I don't own khr but I do own any ocs that are in here. also this au. sort of. technically. not really?
A/N: more crossposting from ao3, meaning some slight formatting changes for those who have read it on there already. this one is a 6-part piece and will probably leave more questions asked than answered. most of those questions will be explored in the mainfic, once I get that up.
will reiterate this again from the series profile: there is no character bashing here. if you were expecting/want to read a fic where nana or iemitsu are bashed you can find another one because that is not this fic. they are not the best parents, but they are not godawful either. same goes for nagi/chrome's parents.
QUICK RUNDOWN OF SETTING: namimori is a town set on an island officially known as Kakishima (lit. oyster island). it's shaped a little like an oyster. or a clam. the island is roughly symmetrical and runs more or less vertical to the world to make it easier on us.
the Hibari Estate (of which all Hibari Main Family members are part of, as well as non-Hibari-folk) oversees the western half of the island. it's a bit more normal, more disciplined, more screwed up. namimori is in the northern part of the western half.
the Kokuyo Estate oversees the eastern half, which is tourism-based, entertainment abound, and just really weird. the town of Kokuyo proper is in the northern part, like namimori. Kokuyoland will be here but will probably not make much of an appearance for a while so there you go. koyano, the town that nana mentions, is a little bit south of kokuyo proper.
the heads of each estate are always addressed/referred to as Hibari Leader (not kyouya) and Kokuyo Leader respectively, barring informalities in which their actual names are used. the current Kokuyo Leader's surname is Jeong-Seo, which Iemitsu uses because he hates the island. he has reasons. the island more or less hates him too.
flames are public knowledge on the island. iemitsu is so confused when the mafia tries to tell him it's mainly a mafia thing and he literally grew up with it on a secluded island in the middle of the sea near japan. where there are no mafia at all.
SAWADA LEVEQUE NANA; or How He Stops Being Who He Is
Iemitsu is not there when Tsuna is born. He calls from an international number and coos over the phone three days later, and Nana is still too exhausted to be mad at him, too exhausted to do anything more than be glad to hear her husband's voice. The baby is named Tsunayoshi, out of respect for the tradition that the Sawadas had begun long ago, despite anything Iemitsu might have against it.
He is warm in her arms. So warm, so bright. Her attending physician practically glows with second-hand pride and wonder and makes a tentative mark on the clipboard being used to keep track of her newborn baby's health.
She has a good feeling about it.
. . .
Iemitsu is not there when Tsuna first opens his eyes. He does not see how bright and lovely and clear their boy's gaze is. Nana had read that babies are born with blue eyes, usually. That they change as time passes. She had been looking forward to watching that change, blue to brown, like hers and Iemitsu's.
Instead, Tsuna opens his eyes and they are amber. They are so beautiful that Nana almost cries. She calls Iemitsu and manages to get a hold of him after a few tries. The excitement has not dulled.
"He has the most beautiful eyes," she tells him. "I wish you could see them. I wish you were here, honey."
He says he wishes he was there, too. Take pictures, he says! Send them! He can't wait to see.
She doesn't.
She takes Tsuna to the Namimori clinic the next day instead. Dr. Ueda Koji shines a flashlight in Tsuna's eyes but ultimately finds nothing out of place. Tsuna's just... early.
"It will probably go away as he grows up," the doctor says, marking pupil response on the medical examination sheet. "I see a note here that he displayed a fiamma response a few days after he was born as well?"
"Ah, I.. suppose so?" Nana hums. Her own fiamma response hadn't kicked in until after she started school, if memory serves. "Is that what Dr. Arai had written down?"
"It was. Given that and Tsunayoshi-kun's eyes here, I can only assume that his.. development will start much sooner than most children. But that's fine, most of the Sawada children are like this."
"Even 'Mitsu?"
"If I remember, he was about 4 when he displayed a fiamma response. His father started at 6 and I believe the generation before that was around 8 years old. Sawada-san, if you're planning to use one of the clinic's calendars to keep track of Tsunayoshi's development, I'm afraid it's going to be quite useless," Dr. Ueda chuckles at the end, with good humor. "I'd give you one specifically for the Sawadas but it looks like Tsunayoshi-kun is blowing even that out of the water."
Nana doesn't know if she's proud or terrified.
. . .
She decides to be terrified and calls her aunt.
Or rather, she calls Iemitsu's aunt. Because the Leveques wouldn't know squat about raising a Sawada.
"Auntie, I don't know what to do!"
"Nana, dear, calm down." As always, Iemitsu's side of the family is so calm and easy-mannered. Too laid-back, some would say. But at a time like this, it helps. It helps so much. When Nana's no longer mentally running around in circles, Sawada Yoshinao speaks up again. "Good. Now, slowly.. what's wrong, Nana?"
"Oh, Nao-san.. It's Tsu-kun. I took him to the clinic the other day and- Dr. Ueda says he's already showing signs of fiamma response!"
"Oh, so soon!" Yoshinao gasps almost delicately, but Nana knows better than that. "I didn't even know you'd had him already. It feels like just yesterday you were still carrying around that baby bump..."
"It.. was just yesterday, Nao-san. Oh, well, I suppose it was a week ago now."
"..Your son is only a week old and has already shown a fiamma response?"
"Yes!" Nana feels like crying again. Or yelling. And there is said baby, sitting in his carrier, staring at her with all the wisdom in the world when he should be napping. "I don't know what to do!"
"Wait- Nana! Nana. It's okay. Calm down, dear, calm down. Breathe, just like I taught you. Remember?"
She does. She breathes. Forcefully.
"Okay. Are you okay now? Thinking clearly now?" Nana makes a sound of something like affirmation. "Good girl. Now, again.. slowly."
"Okay." She tries not to whimper. Plasters on a smile that Yoshinao can't see, but Tsu-kun can, and hopefully he won't be to worried. He's only a week old. "Okay. Um... Nao-san, you know I've been.. preparing for a while now. 'Mitsu thought it was a good idea and helped, since he can't be home too often. I've got all the basic supplies ready."
"You have a closet full of diapers is what you have, Nana." Her aunt laughs quietly.
"Mou!" It smells fresh and clean in there, too. "I had a timeline all set up to mark Tsu-kun's growth too- I even have the screening appointment with Dr. Ueda already set up for next year."
"Nana, dear, I think you're overreacting."
"That's what maman[1] said."
"If your mother thinks you're over-preparing, dear, you probably are. You worry too much! I'm sure Tsu-kun will be fine. Is that his full name?"
"Oh! It's Tsunayoshi. Sawada Tsunayoshi."
"Not Leveque?"
"Oh, god, no," Nana replies with a burst of incredulous laughter. "There are enough Leveques on the island, Nao-san."
"Nonsense. No such thing as enough family members."
"Says the one whose family line has taken over the southwestern half of the island with adopted siblings."
"See? Never enough."
Nana doesn't realize until she's sinking into the couch, breathless laughter spilling from her lips. It's a relief. She'd forgotten how much Iemitsu could make her laugh.. how much his family could. It almost makes her wish she hadn't moved to Namimori alone.
Well, okay. She's not technically alone. Iemitsu helped with getting the house set up through the Kokuyo Agency. But she's still here alone, and until Tsuna is a little older, she won't really be able to spend a lot of time on her own. Maybe Tsuna can help her make friends though...
Excuses, her mind tells her. You're just afraid.
She is. She is so afraid.
"..I'm scared, Nao-san."
"Of what, dear?" Yoshinao's concern colours her tone, light as it is.
"I'm scared for.. Tsuna. The doctor says he'll be advancing quickly and I- I don't know.. I haven't heard from 'Mitsu since he called last. That was.. a few days after Tsu-kun was born."
"..Do you need me to come over, Nana dear?"
"Oh, Nao-san," Nana begins, murmured and soft. "You're a wonderful aunt and I would love to see you again, but I really wouldn't want to impose.."
"Nonsense," Nao-san says again. Nana stifles back a laugh. "The Hibaris take care of everything these days. I can call for a ride and escort before you can pry open an oyster. And I know you're very good at oyster shucking, dear."
"Tied with Tsuyoshi-san for first place. In Namimori, anyway." Which was as good as saying the whole island. Yamamoto Tsuyoshi had come to be renowned as such by most of the island's denizens.
"I've been telling that boy he could make a killing with the Kokuyos. Taking that lovely wife of his away from her limelight.."
"Nao-san," Nana says chidingly. "Ya-chan had her baby 6 months ago. She's fine with taking a little break."
"It's been 6 months already? God, no one tells me anything anymore. Oh, that's the car- Okay, Nana dear, you stay put. I'll be there soon."
"Wait, Nao-san, you don't have to-"
"Already on my way~"
"Auntie!"
"À bientôt!"[2]
. . .
If Nana ever had any fears about aging, it's all thrown out the window by just watching Sawada Yoshinao whisk in her house in a flurry of cloth and colors.
As it is, she spends a good portion of the day with her (Iemitsu's) aunt, holding up baby jumpers against Tsuna to see how he'll look when he gets to wear them in a few years. Nao-san loves dressing up the children and has done so for her 4 nephews and nieces (in-laws and all) and likely intends to do the same for all her grand-nephews and grand-nieces.
After seeing her little Tsuna in an oversized panda hooded cape, Nana doesn't blame her. She can't wait for Tsuna to grow into it.
And judging by the way his eyes seem to twinkle and shine brighter, she thinks he can't wait to grow into them, too.
. . .
Iemitsu does not come home until Tsuna is 6 months old. He stands in the doorway, awestruck, as Tsuna slowly crawls his way over, cooing and bubbling happily under a floppy tiger hood. His hair is still growing out, but what has grown out is so fluffy. He is so fluffy. So gentle, so soft.
Tsuna's eyes have dulled to a normal brown by then, but they light up when he smiles, and they still do. They still do. He is a Sawada, and so they always will. Just like Yoshinao's does when she looks at the children she has helped, like Iemitsu's does when he looks at Nana.
Then one day, a few weeks after Iemitsu leaves, Tsuna actually lights up. Like a Christmas tree. On fire.
Nana remembers dropping the newly-washed plate in her hands in surprise. A shard nicks her exposed calf and she winces- and just like that, the fire on her baby boy's head goes out as that happy, gurgling laugh turns into a confused and worried mumble.
She isn't sure if she should tell Iemitsu. Babies aren't supposed to... light themselves on fire. Or just their foreheads. Or anything? She's quite sure? She did a lot of reading while pregnant. Lots.
Happy babies with burning foreheads was not mentioned anywhere in those texts. Not even on Kakishima.
Nana immediately checks for burns, for heat, for anything to prove that she hadn't been hallucinating, but there's nothing. Not even a single singed hair on her child's head.
Fatigue, she decides. Just fatigue.
Then it happens again. Usually, Tsuna is smiling or laughing, and every time Nana checks, it doesn't seem like the fire is.. hurting him. He doesn't even seem to realize it's there. Every time, her child's eyes glow again, with that same soft, gentle amber color.
She can't seem to get him to do it when Dr. Ueda is around. The doctor doesn't seem to think she's lying though, and is thoroughly interested in trying to make this 'fiery forehead' incident happen again. Kokuyo Leader had informed her that she wasn't imagining it, so Dr. Ueda believed her too.
Then, one day, just as the doctor is leaving, Nana asks what Tsuna thinks of having hamburger steak for dinner.
The flame is bright on her boy's brow, and Dr. Ueda is waving a measuring prong over it with an expression of wonder. It's happiness that triggers it, she realizes.
Pure, unadulterated joy.
"He's the light of my life," she whispers to Iemitsu one night when he calls, with a teary smile. Tsuna is almost 2 years old. "He's so beautiful. I wish you could watch him grow, 'Mitsu. I wish you were here."
She doesn't say anything about the flames to him. Nor of how ecstatic Dr. Ueda was, how pleased the Kokuyo and Hibari leaders were when they received the report.
Yoshinao, too, is delighted.
. . .
Tsuna grows. Tsuna learns. Tsuna learns fast. He starts making word-like sounds far sooner than he probably should, starts trying to walk when he should still be crawling. Nana almost shrieks when she sees him bumbling an attempted run in her direction.
To soon, she tells herself, her instincts screaming against all pride and wonder she might be feeling. He's running too soon. Not yet. Slow down, Tsuna.
Tsuna does everything too quickly. Dr. Ueda had been right when he said Tsuna would be blowing those milestones out of the water.
"He's barreling through them like a bull in a China shop, 'Mitsu," she sighs over the phone, both proud and worried. "I think he's trying to read those books you brought back last year."
"But they're in Italian," Iemitsu sputters on the other end, a little distracted.
"He said 'boo joorno' to me this morning, honey."
"That's not even in those books!"
Tsuna's 2nd birthday is spent full of nonsensical baby babbling of Italian-Japanese between father and son, and a smattering of simple French words that Nana has been trying to teach him. She has a hunch that Iemitsu doesn't even really know how old their child is.
Nana learns how to correct Tsuna's pronunciation of buon giorno[3]. He says it every day now while giggling and cooing happily at the Italian books Iemitsu leaves lying around. She can't wait for him to start school, though she's a little nervous about it, too.
. . .
She takes Tsuna to the park frequently, when other mothers are out with their children too. None of their neighbors have kids Tsuna's age and Nana is wary of letting Tsuna start school without knowing how he acts around other children. She needn't have worried. Tsuna teaches half of them how to say ciao within the first day.
They flock around him like birds of a feather, building sand castles and playing make-believe. The power of the imagination is strong. The Namimori Disciplinary Committee loves him for being so well-behaved.
"He's so small for his age," they tell her as they watch the children from the benches. "When is he starting school?"
"Oh," Nana says, hesitant and forlorn. She's proud of Tsuna, but she won't deny that his progress is... very advanced. "Not for a while yet. He's turning 4 this October."
"So young!"
She hears both envy and jealousy mixed in with the genuine wonder and praise. Sometimes she can't help but feel the same towards Tsuna, even if she knows it's unfair.
"So young and so clever! I wish my boy were so wonderful... Tsuna looks so well-behaved, too."
He is. Such a lovely, wonderful child. Her wonderful son.
. . .
"'Mitsu, he's starting school next year! I know you can't be there for that.. but can't you come home for his birthday this year at least? It's been 3 years since he last saw you. I don't want him forgetting his father's face!"
"Nana, you know I'm busy at work.. Construction projects can't just stop for a few weeks because I want to take a vacation and visit my adorable wife and super adorable baby boy. Ah, I miss you two so much!"
"Oh, honey, you're making me blush!"
Iemitsu chuckles on the other line.
"I'll see what I can do for you, my dear sweet wife. Take care, okay? Love you!"
"I love you too, 'Mitsu."
. . .
He's not in construction. Nana knows some mothers whose husbands are actually in construction and they don't make nearly as much money as Iemitsu does. Michiko says her husband is usually home for a few weeks after projects are done, and her husband has never heard of construction projects going on for years and years.
Nana suspects Iemitsu is lying about his work, though she doesn't say anything about it. Or he's working on some really, really, really big construction projects back to back. He could be a manager.
No. She's quite sure he doesn't actually work in construction at all. After all, there's plenty construction being done on Kakishima, and no need to go off the island.
Nao-san says he'd insisted on leaving the island early to find better opportunities on the mainland, and that, for some reason, Kokuyo Leader had let him go. From there she heard he had hopped a flight overseas. And then nothing for 6 years, when he came home and suddenly introduced his family to his new acquaintance, fiance, lover. He introduced them to Nana.
He never talks about it. Nana doesn't ask. The money is transferred to an account for her and Tsuna like clockwork every week.
She doesn't even know what to do with it all.
. . .
Iemitsu comes home a week before Tsuna's 5th birthday with an elderly man behind him, wearing what looks suspiciously like a tacky Hawaiian tourist shirt. Nana wonders how they made it through security. Kokuyo Leader has such a strict fashion sense, after all.
But then again, Kokuyo Leader is also... well. Eccentric. Kokuyo in general is.
"Nana," he says carefully, "This is my boss, Timoteo."
"Oh! Your supervisor?" She feigns delight and surprise. Iemitsu hadn't said he would be bringing a guest. Guests. "Or- oh, my, is this the owner of your construction company?"
"Ah- yes. He's the owner. Boss... this is Nana. My wife."
"Ciao[4], ah, signore. Timoteo-san."
"My, my. You never told me your wife could speak Italiano, Iemitsu."
"Our son started learning from the books he left behind," she says delightedly. "I thought I should help him a little bit. I have so much free time, after all. 'Mitsu takes such good care of us financially... I wanted to surprise him when he came back again to visit!"
"Isn't my wife just splendid, sir? And my son! He learns so quickly! Oh, Nana, I told him about Tsuna and he didn't believe how cute boo goornowas."
Timoteo smiles the way a grandfather would smile, fondly and nostalgic. He's not the owner of a construction company. She didn't miss the slight pause Iemitsu had needed to answer her question, and she doesn't ask what he's doing here.
Nana misses her own father. And grandfather. And mother and grandmother.
"Oh, dear, where are my manners- please, Timoteo-san, come in. Would you like something to drink? We have tea, coffee, water.."
Iemitsu says tea at the same time Timoteo says coffee. They look at each other sheepishly, but Nana only giggles and steps aside to let them in.
"The living room is right this way. Shoes off, 'Mitsu."
Iemitsu is surprisingly well-dressed this time around. Usually when he comes by, he's wearing that strange construction outfit, dirty, muddy boots, and toting around a pickaxe of all things. Nana has learned not to question it. She already knows it's just a front.
While they're getting seated in the couches, she calls out into the hall, "Tsu-kun! Your father's home. Can you keep him and our guest company while I get the drinks?"
To her surprise, there is already the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen. She had put the kettle on, but Tsuna couldn't have- he shouldn't know how..
"Tsu-kun?"
"Coming, maman." And there was her boy, carefully maneuvering the baby stroller he had used years ago around the edge of the door. There is a tray with two steaming mugs balanced on it already. Iemitsu and Timoteo are both intently watching the soon-to-be 5 year old boy approach them.
The cups are hot. But Tsuna seems to know that and has put them on little plates meant for teacups, not mugs.
"Papa, genmai cha[5]."
"Oh- Tsuna! My favorite!" Iemitsu looks torn between shock and surprise and delight and wanting to pick Tsuna up and swing him around. Unfortunately, Tsuna has the plate and mug in his hands, so her husband can only do the first three as he takes it.
Tsuna is trying very hard not to beam.
No flames, Tsu-kun, she had told him when Iemitsu confirmed he would be coming back. It's our secret. Don't let Papa see them yet, okay? We don't want to distract him from work.
Next is a mug of dark brown liquid. Tsuna frowns as he picks it up, something he didn't do with Iemitsu's tea. Maybe the smell of it?
"Sig... signore. Signor Timoteo."[6]
Ah. Nana can't help smiling then.
"Caffè!" The elderly man watches with wide eyes, holding his hand out to receive the coffee like an offering. "Sorry we don't have any espresso."
"Oh, grazie[7], Tsunayoshi-kun."
"Ara, Tsu-kun!" She picks him up carefully, giving him a tight squeeze. Tsuna laughs, throwing arms around her neck. "You should have told me you already had them done."
"Surprise! I can't reach the snacks, though."
"And what a lovely surprise it was." Nana tweaks his nose gently. Iemitsu coos happily behind her at the sight they make. "Did you two want anything to go with the drinks, 'Mitsu, Timoteo-san?"
"I think we're fine, Nana-san," Timoteo says, gazing down at his mug with a distant look. "Thank you. Tsunayoshi seems to work quickly."
"He is my pride and joy," she smiles, bright and happy. "Ah- let me put this away before someone trips over it. Please, excuse me for a minute. Tsu-kun, you have coffee grounds on your cheek..."
She shoos her son off to the bathroom and rolls the walker back into the closet they had stored it in, collapsing it to fit it back into its box. Maybe one day they'll need it again. Maybe.
Nana pops into the kitchen to make sure nothing is still on or about to burn down the house and finds everything neat and tidy, if not for the chair pushed up against the counter, no doubt so Tsuna could reach the kettle and the coffee maker.
She worries for a moment that Tsuna might have burnt himself on the kettle, and makes her way down to the bathroom to check up on him.
"Tsu-kun, you didn't burn yourself getting the tea, did you?"
"I was very careful!" Tsuna is sitting on the lid of the toilet and holds up both arms to show that there's no burns. Then he says in a quieter voice, "I don't have coffee on my face either, maman."
"I know." She leans in conspiratorially, whispering. "Tsu-kun, how did you know which drinks they wanted? Did Papa tell you when he spoke to you over the phone?"
Tsuna shakes his head. "I just knew."
"..How?"
His eyes glimmer then, with that same light and amber richness from when he first opened them.
"The same way we know Papa doesn't work in kan.. kansatsu. And Timoteo-san doesn't either."
"Kansetsu[8], Tsu-kun," she corrects gently, her lips thinned. She doesn't know what Tsuna means by that, but... she knows. She doesn't question it. After seeing her child's forehead on fire countless times, Nana isn't really sure what to question anymore.
"Danger," Tsuna says, solemn.
"You think his job is dangerous? Maybe he's just trying to protect us..."
"No." Her son shakes his head, eyes wide and bright. "He's dangerous."
Nana blinks. But before she can do or say anything else, Tsuna jumps off the toilet and climbs up the steps to the sink, turns it on, and starts splashing his face. Startled, Nana can only cluck her tongue.
"Tsu-kun, you're getting water all over yourself!"
A soft chuckle behind her makes her and Tsuna both jump- though hers seems more genuine than her son's.
"Looks like our little boy wants to be a tuna fish," Iemitsu says with a warm, eye-crinkling smile. It's sharp.
"I'm going to swim in the ocean one day!"
Tsuna squeals with a laughter that only visits his eyes, enough for Iemitsu to fall apart into a mess of family-loving goo that Nana remembers marrying him for. Her husband picks Tsuna up, wet hands and face and all, and gives him the most exuberant hug Tsuna has probably ever had.
And ever will have.
"Ah, Nana- actually I came to find you to ask if you were going to cook dinner tonight... I do love your cooking, after all! And I want to show you off to my boss! But I want to spoil you at the same time and take you out to a nice, romantic dinner..."
"Is that why you're wearing a suit, papa?"
"Eh- why, yes! That's exactly why." Tsuna gives his father a grin and a peck on the cheek before he's set back down on the ground, scurrying back out to the living room. Nana wants to tell him to change his shirt first, but then Iemitsu has her hand in his again, just like he did all those years ago. 6 years ago. "Nana, love.. I think it's time for us to go on a date."
"Oh." She's breathless. Wary and cautious as she has been about Iemitsu and whatever strange and suspicious things he's been up to, she is still a romantic at heart. And Iemitsu has always been a good romancer. "..Oh, but what about Tsu-kun?"
"I, um.. if you're okay with it, Nana- Timoteo could watch over him." She blinks in surprise. "His- he has four boys back in Italy, all grown and out of the house... The youngest passed away recently."
"Oh!"
It almost sounds like a ruse. Something to garner sympathy for an old man who couldn't possibly be doing the sort of work they say he's doing, to avoid suspicion.
"I thought.. I hoped- he's a good father, and he said he didn't mind watching Tsuna for a few hours."
Well. Two can play at that game.
"I don't want to impose anything on him, 'Mitsu! Tsu-kun can be such a handful sometimes."
"Four sons, Nana." There's a twinkle in Iemitsu's eyes that isn't quite a lie. "He'll be fine. They'll both be fine."
"But.."
"He passed the interview with Jeong-Seo when he arrived." Well now Iemitsu just seems desperate. Hibari was there too."
The last time her husband said anything about the Hibaris or the Kokuyos, it was about how much he hated the island. Still hates it, most likely. And yet here he is.. visiting.
Dangerous, Tsuna had told her. He's dangerous.
The man is dangerous and Iemitsu wants to leave their child with him while they go on a-
"Date, maman?" Nana leans over to see Tsuna peering up at them from around the corner of the door with a smile. "You're going on a date with Papa, right?"
"Oh, Tsu-kun.. Maman would love to, but there's no food left in the house for you and Timoteo-san to eat."
"We'll go to TakeSushi! Yamamoto-san makes the best sushi on the island."
Nana smiles, fond and relieved. "That he does, Tsu-kun."
He also happens to be have been a very proficient swordsman at least, maybe even an assassin, before he was accepted into the island. Nana would trust Yamamoto Tsuyoshi with Tsuna's life.
With a flash of a grin, Tsuna bounces off back down the hall. Nana takes her hands back and nudges Iemitsu out of the bathroom.
"Alright, 'Mitsu, you win. Now go keep your guest company while I get dressed."
It begins like this.
It begins when she comes home with Iemitsu 4 hours later. They find Tsuna and Timoteo in front of the fireplace. They are wrapped in blankets and, judging by the puddles on the floor, had come in soaking wet.
Tsuna had bumped into some other children on a bridge while they were walking back home, Timoteo says. They were walking a small dog, a chihuahua. Timoteo thinks that Tsuna had been frightened and stumbled through the railing and into the water. In his own panic, Timoteo had jumped in after him.
Crashed in, really.
So, that was the long story short of it.
"Yamamoto-san does make wonderful sushi, though," Timoteo smiles, in that old, grandfatherly way. Tsuna is curled up next to him. "It's unfortunate the day had to end this way."
Not really, Nana wants to say, but bites her lip. He wasn't frightened of that dog and it wasn't an accident. It could have been worse.
She knows. She's seen the way the town treats her boy, the way the other children do, once they were old enough to know how to do so. Once they were old enough to say the same things their parents said. Tsunayoshi the Outsider, the half-citizen. Tsunayoshi, the boy whose father wanted nothing to do with his homeland.
But Tsuna knows how to swim. They live on an island, after all. If no one is around when Tsuna accidentally falls into the water again...
"Darling," she whispers, giving Iemitsu short pats on his back, "will you fetch some towels from the washroom? Drop them on any water spots you see. I'll clean them up later."
"Eh?"
"Meanwhile, I have some hot chocolate to make for these two. I hope they've changed out of their wet clothes at least..."
. . .
That night, Tsuna lingers at the edge of the bathtub a little too long, distracted and looking a little more... less. Nana thinks, hopes, that it's just the lingering chill from being all but dumped into the river.
He's five years old. He's smarter and cleverer and better than others his age.
Tonight, he lets Nana help wash off the lingering clumps of mud and dirt, scrub out the bits of moss and grass that had managed to get into his hair. He lets her bandage the few cuts and scrapes he had gotten, rub cooling ointment on places that are starting to bruise. He even squeaks and giggles when she washes his face.
"Ara, Tsu-kun, what's this on your forehead?" There is a small mark, like an old scab. Nana has something like it on her arm from vaccines and immunizations and so does Tsuna, but she doesn't recall any reason why he would have one on his head.
"That's where my flames came out from, maman."
"Is it? I never noticed it before." But then, Tsuna's fringe is usually long enough to cover it. It's been years since Nana brushed them aside this much. "..Did they push you in, Tsu-kun?"
For once, Tsuna doesn't answer her. Or rather, he does answer. But he says
"I don't remember."
which Nana doesn't understand, because Tsuna always remembers. He remembers the first time he saw Nana's face. He remembers the first time he saw Iemitsu's face, 6 months after he was born (and scowling as babies do, because he already knows that his father should have been thereearlier).
Sawada Tsunayoshi remembers every day he has lived so far with a clarity that astounds Nana. Not only clarity, but accuracy. Longevity. He remembers, and he remembers so well...
"You must have been so scared, Tsu-kun," she says quietly, and leans in to press a kiss on that blemish on her son's face. "It's okay. You're alright now. It's okay..."
The bathwater sloshes. Tsuna trembles and shakes, sniffles under her hands. Shock, Nana tells herself. He's coming out of shock. The rains have been plentiful lately and the river water must have been deep. He could have drowned. He could have-
"Cold, maman," Tsuna whines into her now damp shirt. "M'cold."
Nana makes soft shushing sounds, gentle hums, and starts rinsing suds from Tsuna's hair. This is wrong, she knows, her son doesn't whine or complain or cry he never cries but
but
it makes her feel like a mother now. A proper mother, with a proper son. A 5 year old child who is petulant and whining and has trouble putting his clothes on and scowls so very cutely while doing so.
A child who trips on his way out the door and has to steady himself against Nana's leg with a yelp. And it would be so normal, so normal, if Tsuna didn't look absolutely terrified out of his mind at that very moment.
Tsunayoshi is never terrified. He chases the monsters out from under his bed by himself.
In that moment, Nana is scared, too. Scared at how normal this must be and how wrong it feels instead.
But then Tsuna looks up at him, fear receding into an undercurrent of newfound anxiety, his brow furrowed in concentration. And he smiles. Shaky, and small, but it is the same. It is the same as all his smiles have been, and yet so different.
"I'm okay, maman." Something fades away. Nana sees it in the way Tsuna's shoulders bunch up like they never have before, drawing closer to himself. Making himself smaller. "..I'm okay."
She doesn't believe him.
But she still says "Okay," and she still gives him a quick hug and another kiss to his forehead, earning a disgruntled whine that is starting to really grow on her. "Then it's off to bed for you, little mischief maker."
Nana wishes she noticed the signs sooner, before Iemitsu and Timoteo left. Before everything fell to pieces and had to be put back together again.
. . .
"Oh, Timoteo-san, have you had a tour of the island yet?"
"I don't expect to be here for too much longer, Nana-san. An old man like me isn't much one for sightseeing or.. all those newfangled entertainments."
"Kokuyo has quite a number of affordable luxury resorts for all ages. I've been to a few of them myself. Very good for unwinding and relaxing."
"Oh? Do you visit that side of the island often, Nana-san?"
"My family lives there. I used to live there myself until I met 'Mitsu."
"What made you decide to move here to Namimori?"
"I loved Koyano.. I grew up there, so it will always be my home. But I had a feeling that Tsu-kun- well, he wasn't born yet, but it's motherly instincts, right? Somehow I knew he wouldn't really.. fit in. 'Mitsu thought Namimori would be better for Tsu-kun, too."
"Do you think about moving back after Tsunayoshi is all grown up?"
"My, I don't know.. Namimori is starting to grow on me. Tsu-kun is growing so quickly though, he'll be leaving the house before I know it."
"Well, I hope he stays with you for as long as he is able."
"Mm, I hope so, too."
. . .
Tripping is a marvel and a half for one young Sawada Tsunayoshi.
It's a marvel and a damn right pain in the a- sorry. He isn't supposed to curse. Teacher's orders.
Tsuna has a hard time keeping track of the days and weeks and months between his father's visits now. It was so easy in the past, he still remembers it from those times back then. 6 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days from the day he was born. 1 year, 5 months, 1 week, and 4 days after that one. 3 more years after that. He was 5 years old.
Tsuna is 7 now and loses track of how many times he trips within the first few hours of starting the day. He's not even sure how or why he's tripping.
Dr. Ueda says it's something called sindrome fiamme sfollati. Displaced Flames Syndome. They say it's like trying to walk again after losing your legs.
Tsuna clutches at the cold, cold, cold deep in his chest and thinks, yes. Yes. That's exactly what it's like.
(He doesn't wonder why it's Italian though. He finds out soon enough, later.)
But knowing that it's real and not imagined doesn't help. Knowing what's wrong with him doesn't make it easier to explain. Knowing something is wrong doesn't make it easier to block out the chant of No Good Tsuna, No Good Tsuna, No Good Tsuna. Useless Tsuna, who can't run without falling over, who can't even do his multiplication tables anymore (he was so good at them before starting school).
He is useless but he is also 7 years old, and children say mean words and call him mean names, but they're still sticks, not quite stones yet. Not quite stones.
Not quite stones.
Tsuna's father is somewhat disappointed to find that Tsuna hasn't made any progress in his Italian in the past two years. Of course not. Tsuna can't even concentrate on his homework, never mind trying to read in another language when the house creaks late at night, and the house across the street always waters their lawn in the evening and the neighbor's dog won't stop barking.
Tsuna yelps when his father sneaks up and scares him and seems to think it's adorable and won't stop doing it every time he gets the chance during his stay. Even though Tsuna doesn't like it and tries not to cry, because he's a Sawada and a big boy and neither of those are supposed to cry just because they're scared. They're not.
(Tsuna cries at night when it's cold, so cold, but he's not scared. The cold doesn't scare him. It just makes him so lonely.)
Even Tsuna's mother tells him enough is enough after a few days. It's not cute anymore, just mean. Even if his father doesn't really mean to hurt his feelings. Tsuna sniffles and buries his face in his father's clothing when his father apologizes and he whines like a
like a petulant child being made fun of. Puffed cheeks. Pouting.
Tsuna's father smothers him in cooing kisses until Tsuna whines again and struggles to escape his father's death grip. It's never happened before- usually Tsuna accepts his father's affections with a brimming smile and a hug. Judging by his father's reaction each time compared to this time, it.. must have been odd. Perhaps?
The weather is cooling down again and Tsuna's cheeks are rosy, waving from the porch. Two Hibari escorts stand next to the rental car, ready to drive Iemitsu back to the airport. Tsuna and Nana are, as usual, not permitted to go with Iemitsu to see him off.
"I'll be back soon, Nana dear! Take care of yourself, little fish."
"I will!" Tsuna calls back. He rubs at a bruise under the sleeve of his arm, passed off as an accident from tripping on the stairs. It's not entirely a lie.
"I wonder how long he'll be gone this time," his mother sighs next to him. Not in disappointment or sadness, but something like resignation. They both know that he will, at some point.
Probably.
"He'll come back," Tsuna says, in a rare moment of insight. Rare these days, after he came home soaking wet and chilled to the bone. Chilled to the core. "..But it'll be too late."
"Hm?"
"Nothing!" Tsuna grins suddenly. He misses the feeling of fire flicking on his head, in his heart. "Just that maman will probably marry someone else who's actually around and helps with housework and takes me to school and makes food so maman doesn't have to do everything."
"Tsu-kun!"
. . .
He doesn't mean it. Not really.
[1] maman: (french) mother, mom. nana is actually part french here.
[2] À bientôt: (french) good bye, see you soon
[3] buon giorno: (italian) good morning
[4] ciao: (italian) a greeting, and a farewell.
[5] genmai cha: japanese brown rice tea.
[6] signore: (italian) sir, mister. it's signor when using it like 'Mr. Timoteo', as opposed to something like 'thanks, mister'
[7] grazie: (italian) thank you
[8] kansatsu means observation ; kansetsu is construction