Lizzie shivered under her peacoat as she exited the BART station. It was late and unseasonably cold for San Francisco which made the last two blocks to the apartment feel more like miles. It didn't help that they now lived at the top of one of San Francisco's infamous hills.
After a week of anxious sleep, fueled by a decision she may or may not have been avoiding making, all she wanted was to snuggle down under the soft, warm covers and sleep until morning. She hoisted her bag higher up on her shoulder and fished her keys out of a side pocket, opening the door into the warm glow of home.
"What's going on in here?" Lizzie asked, lowering her laptop bag to the hardwood floor, her keys dangling from the lock.
William was standing in the middle of their living room, holding up a kitchen stool. He twisted around to look at her, the space between his brows furrowed slightly.
"Oh. You're home early," he said.
He placed the stool in the center of the room and shoved his hands in his pocket.
"Yeah the girls wrapped up early because they have finals this week. What are you doing?" She gestured at the scene in front of her.
There were two stools side-by-side in front of her old tripod. It was the same one that had a wobbly leg ever since that incident with Kitty. The brown, suede couch was shoved into the corner and the coffee table barricaded the entrance to the kitchen. The room looked like a disaster considering Lizzie had to practically bribe William to move the chairs when they had company over.
"But everything went well?" he asked, walking over and closing the front door behind her.
Lizzie came home later than usual on Wednesday nights. She was leading a seminar for high school girls exploring new and emerging digital media over at City College. Wednesdays were the only days that William beat her back to their Nob Hill apartment. Usually that meant coming home to Night Beds playing on his iPod and pad thai takeout boxes. This? This was new.
"It went fine. They started editing today. Are you ignoring my questions?" she asked.
Will smiled and shuffled his feet slightly, blocking the disaster zone from Lizzie's view.
"I thought we could make a video," he looked down at her. "You know, for old time's sake."
Lizzie peered around William's torso.
"What brought this on?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"I miss missing nostalgia," he dead-panned, but his eyes begged her to go along with it.
She tugged lightly on one of his suspenders. His shirt was still buttoned up, the knot of his tie pulled tight around his neck. It was like he had just stepped in the door. He must have been working on whatever this was ever since he got home. Lizzie was intrigued.
"Okay weirdo."
William smiled and Lizzie felt her heart beat a little faster.
"Just a moment, excuse me."
William stepped over the coffee table and headed toward their bedroom at the end of the hall.
Lizzie was left standing alone with the all too familiar set-up. She stared at it for a moment before walking over to the tripod and extending the legs a bit. The camera was tilted slightly so she adjusted it until it was parallel with the floor. It had been two years and five months since the 100th Lizzie Bennet Diaries episode, but the production details were tattooed on her brain. Instinctively she knew the shot was too tight and the lighting too dark.
She dragged over the corner lamp and adjusted the head to create a makeshift key light. The overhead track lighting could be dimmed to make something akin to a backlight. It had been while set she built a DIY set and her body thrilled slightly as the scene came together on the camera's display.
She sat down on the stool to the right and stared into the camera sitting up, straight backed, with her hands in her lap. It felt right, but different. Not quite comfortable, but also natural. The red stand-by button blinked back at her.
William returned with a canvas bag and stopped in the doorway. He knocked lightly on the inside frame of the door.
"What?" asked Lizzie. She had finally got him out of the habit of knocking before entering rooms in their own apartment. But there he was, standing tall behind the camera with a slight smile and eyes that asked permission to enter.
"I don't know, I just felt like I was intruding all of a sudden," he laughed. His laugh made her melt a little in her seat. It was one of her favorite sounds and knowing she caused it never got old.
He sat down on the stool beside her.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"Yes."
Lizzie stood up and carefully pressed record. She sat back down and looked over at Will who was staring at her expectantly.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She laughed. "This was you're idea!"
"Yes, but these are your videos. I'm a guest, remember?"
Lizzie sighed. Making a video with no idea where it was going was not exactly unusual, but it had been so long she wasn't quite sure how to start. Not that it really mattered, it's not like anyone was going to see this. This was an exercise in indulging the rare whim of William Darcy and her natural need to figure out what the hell was going on.
She turned away from Will and stared into the camera's lens. She visualized Charlotte standing off to the right, with headphones on for sound control and diligent note taking on where to make her edits.
Well, there was nothing else to do, but dive right in.
"Um, hi everyone, long time no see. Really though. It's been years since I've made one of these video, but here I am. Or, I guess, here…we are?"
Lizzie gestured at Will, who was still staring intently at her. It was funny how even after all this time he was camera shy.
"Now you might be wondering what I'm doing making a video. Unfortunately I don't have an answer for you because this was not my idea."
She looked over at Will.
"Do you want to jump in and add anything?" she asked.
"No, I think this is going well."
"O-kay. In that case," she adjusted her seat and held her head up high. "I'm Lizzie Bennet and Darcy really wanted to make a video."
The words roll of her tongue with natural ease. She can feel her face contort into all sorts of funny expressions and it's unnerving how easily she reverted back to calling Will "Darcy". The whole thing is surreal.
"Sorry, I meant, Will wanted to make a video. It's so weird how much this set-up throws me back to an entirely different time. I'm sure Prof. Gardner would have something to say about this and the way we form identity through media. Uses and Gratifications Theory has a lot to say on the subject," Lizzie paused and pulled a face at the camera. "But I also know that no one was ever all that interested in my thesis so...moving on.'
Will stared at her, smiling and looking down at his feet throughout her rambling intro. She's glad he didn't flinch when she called him Darcy. For a while she's had been trying to use Darcy as a moniker for more enjoyable situations, but she still feels like the name is charged with not so great connotations.
Her mannerism came back easily. Not that she had changed much over the past two years, but there had been some growing up in there. And after not being in front of a camera for so long, she's highly aware of everything she says and does. Being a producer and director has the perks of making creative decisions without necessarily sharing every personal thought with the rest of the world. It also meant she was a lot more wary of what she discussed on camera. Age had made her slightly wiser in disclosing the details of everyone else's lives.
"I honestly have no idea what to talk about," she said.
Will cleared his throat and leaned toward her conspiratorially.
"Well, I actually did have something in mind." He reached inside the canvas bag he had brought from their bedroom.
"Here," he offered Lizzie a balled up plaid shirt. It was her Lizzie costume. She fingered the soft flannel and tried to smooth the deep creases as she unfolded it. She has stowed it the corner of her sock drawer because she couldn't bring herself to wear it outside of her videos, but there was no way she could get rid of it. It had lived in drawer limbo ever since.
Her throat was thick with emotion.
She looked up at Will who had taken off his tie and flipped up the collar of his dress shirt. A un-tied bow-tie was slung around his neck.
Lizzie reached over and grabbed either end of the fabric and began to wrap the red and black patterned fabric. He had worn it several times since her "Hyper-Mediation in New Media" video, but it had been months since she had seen it. She bit her lip and carefully tugged at the two, symmetrical bows. She placed her hand on his chest and stared at the buttons on his shirt, gathering herself before she realized the camera was still on. Thank god she her editing skills had vastly improved.
Will was staring down at her with that look in his eye that told Lizzie they had better keep moving if they didn't want this video to completely implode due to animal instinct.
"So," her voice cracked as she turned to address the camera, "Costume theater?"
Will took his newsie cap out of the canvas bag and placed it on his head.
"Yes. I always enjoyed that part of your videos and so did you're viewers. I don't think it would be a proper Lizzie Bennet Diaries without it. And, of course, for the benefit of verisimilitude."
"Of course. So, I guess I'll play me and you'll play you?" Lizzie asked.
She tried to keep composed for the sake of the camera, but the parallels were making it difficult for to keep a straight face. She had to twist her mouth and bite her lip to keep in her smile.
"I figured the costumes would be easier to obtain that way."
"By digging through my sock drawer?"
He broke first with a grin and a slight snort.
"Yes. By digging through your sock drawer."
"Right," They composed themselves again. "Well, do you have a script for us today, Darcy?"
"Nope. I figured we'd wing it."
She rolled her eyes and tugged on her Lizzie shirt.
"Right."
They sat staring at each other, backs straight, for a moment, each waiting for the other to begin.
"So, you spoke with Jane today?" Will said, arching his eyebrows at Lizzie.
"Yes, she called. Wait, how did you know?"
"She is married to my best friend, Lizzie. I know that they got back from their honeymoon last night."
"Well in that case, yes, I spoke with Jane. She's back in New York, getting ready to start production for Fashion Week. Basically, she's kicking-ass," Lizzie smiled proudly at the camera.
"Did you tell her your news?"
Lizzie broke eye contact with the camera and stared at her hands, worrying her lip a bit.
"I…I'm not sure I really want to talk about this yet," she said. She could feel Will staring at her.
"Oh. I just thought, maybe this would help," he said. "Lizzie, I didn't want to be presumptuous—"
No. That was the point of costume theater. However pathetic of a crutch it might be, costume theater had always made Lizzie more brave. Lizzie looked back him.
"I told Jane," she said breathlessly. "I told her about the job."
He took a deep breath, staring at her expectantly.
"And?"
"And…she was thrilled and excited and proud and sweet and everything Jane is when you get good news."
"That's good."
"Yes, it is good. It's great. It's exactly what everyone has been. No one more than you."
She reached out and took Will's hand in her own.
"Then what's the problem."
She had been trying to find the right way to explain it ever since she got the call last week. But there was no eloquent way to say that, once again, she was scared of change.
"I love my life here. I love my production team, I love this city, I love working with the girls at City College…I love the life I've built here."
He laced his fingers through her own and brushed his thumb along the soft skin between her thumb and her index finger.
"I know," he said. "But it's only six months in New York and three months in DC and I know part of you has already said yes."
God. There is was. The secret she thought she'd been keeping so well. Lizzie had already starting planning who to interview at the U.N. headquarters and where to shoot and the possible narratives to follow, knowing full well it would all change on that first day of shooting. She had never thought that she would work in documentaries, but she had been sidling that way ever since the city's local station picked up the videos her girls were producing about growing up in the bay area.
"You don't have to decide anything this second; you know that you have time. I just, wanted you to talk to me about it."
Lizzie knew he was right. She had been avoiding it. They still had a lot to talk about, but with the subject broached she knew they would be able to figure it out. That they would figure it out together.
"I also wanted to talk about something else," he said. "Something I've been meaning to talk about for a while."
"Are you finally going to admit to being in a boy band?"
He snorted.
"God, no. I swear to you Lizzie Bennet, I was never in a boy band."
She looked at him with exaggerated disappointment.
"You're happy Lizzie?" he asked, nervously.
"Yes," she said emphatically. "So happy. Ridiculously happy."
He stared down at their entwined hands.
"And your family?"
"They're all fine…" she said, slightly confused.
"And my aunt?" he asked.
"And…your aunt is still your aunt," Lizzie replied through gritted teeth.
"Yes, Gigi told me about the incident."
"She did?"
Lizzie had been visiting Charlotte and Gigi for lunch in Menlo Park when Catherine de Bourgh stormed into the café. She confronted Lizzie for being secretly engaged to William. This was especially shocking to Lizzie who was, as far as she knew, not engaged to anyone, let alone Catherine's only nephew. Lizzie also may have lashed out a bit considering all the stress over the new job offer.
"Gigi also told me that you refused to say that we would not become engaged," he continued. "And that in the future you would make decision based on what made you happy and not based on the opinions of those so wholly unconnected to the situation. Also that she should begin preparing for that disappointment sooner rather than later."
"Yeah…not my finest moment."
"I wish I could have been there."
"Really?"
She had a hard time believing that. It was a really awkward encounter.
"Yes, if only so I could do this as soon as you finished."
William reached into the front pocket of his dress pants and pulled out a black, velvet box.
"Elizabeth, Lizzie, Bennet. Will you do me the honor, of marrying me and spending your life with me, whether you're taking the east coast by storm or here in this city or wherever we might be in the years that come?"
Lizzie was sometimes a woman of words, but in that moment she was a woman of action. She grasped the back of his neck and brought his mouth to her own. He reached up and held her head in his hands, the ring box pressing into her cheek. She swiped at his bottom lip with her tongue and began to delve deeper, her body pressing up into him as her other hand held onto his shoulder for support.
"Do you even want to see the ring?" he smiled against her mouth.
He opened the box and there sat a vintage looking ring with a simple white gold band and diamond in the middle surrounded by small diamonds and metal leaves keeping the stones in place. It was beautiful.
"It was my mother's. I wasn't sure about the size…"
Lizzie kissed him again and he slid the band onto her left hand.
"So, who should we call first? You're aunt?" she teased.
After a while Darcy stepped outside to call Gigi and put her out of her misery, she had sent at least 30 texts in the course of the evening.
Lizzie needed some time to process it all before she could face calling mom so she did what any normal person would do. She booted up her laptop and began transferring the video into FinalCut Pro.
She couldn't stop smiling as she imagined the surprise that would be waiting in her subscribers' inboxes in the morning. She text Charlotte asking for the mp3 for the end music and a jpeg of the opening title.
Next thing she knew Charlotte was calling her and she knew she would be okay on matter what changes life threw her way.