March 15th, 1978

The only thing heard in the boy's bathroom on the 2nd floor at that time was his sobs. After all, it hurt. He hadn't known that though. If he had known how much it hurt, he would have never done it. There was no time for regretting, because there was no getting out of it now. Although the young Black was the only person in the bathroom, he had made sure of that before he started bawling, he hardly felt alone. He even hid his tears, or at least tried to. Ever since it happened, he had never felt quite alone. It was always there and always would be, forever haunting and taunting. It was like someone was watching and guiding him, and occasionally prodding him in a certain direction. Of course that was understatement, but Regulus didn't know any other way to describe it.

One of the worst parts was that he himself had asked for it. He, with his bony fingers dabbing at his puffy pink eyes, had forced himself into it without really knowing of the repercussions. As he sat huddled in the corner, his handsome black hair matted with sweat and tears, the only thing on his mind was regret and pain. Regret for going to far into his little plan. Regret for having his brother hate him. Then there was the awful pain that would come and go. He heard the others in his common room talking about it. Occasionally, Regulus was sucked into these conversations. But possibly, the pain was worse because Regulus was trying to fight it. He didn't want it anymore. He wanted to go back in time so badly, a month, only, that he'd do anything. Regulus just wanted it all to stop.

It would never stop though, certainly not now, and Regulus knew it. There was no more hiding from it; no more pretending it wasn't there. It couldn't just be an act anymore, like he had planned. He had to actually live that life now, and that possibly hurt more than the physical pain. Sirius hated him. He had heard, and Regulus remembered what his older brother had called him. The name burned fresh in his memories, and the way Sirius snarled it would never leave his head. Death Eater. That's what Sirius had called him. Sirius, the older brother Regulus loved so dearly before Hogwarts. The one who had been so nice to him, who had played with him, who had helped him survive his parents and cousins, all before Hogwarts. Those were the key words, really. Before Hogwarts. Because before Hogwarts meant before James Potter. It also meant before the plan. It meant before Sirius had been disowned at age 16 and the plan had to go even further, to an extent that Regulus cried every night because of the damn plan.

Regulus liked to blame James Potter for the creation of the plan. If James Potter had never existed, Sirius might not have gotten into Gryffindor. He wouldn't have been so mean to Regulus when he came home that first summer, and he most certainly wouldn't have gotten disowned. Yes, Regulus decided, it all started with James Potter and that first summer after Hogwarts. Sirius had come home, and Regulus was thrilled. But Sirius wasn't. He shut himself in his room, ignoring his younger brother. All Sirius did was send letters to the most beloved James. Of course, Sirius mentioned his other friends often enough, but none as much as James.

The Potters were blood-traitors, of course. Sirius couldn't have befriended a pure-blood. He couldn't have thought for one moment what might tarnish the Black family name. After all, Sirius was the oldest Black son, wasn't he? The heir to the fortune. Well, he was, before his was disowned. Now all the responsibility of keeping the Black family name respected fell to Regulus. Sirius became a blood-traitor himself when he ran away to live with his beloved James. Regulus really tried to be a good son for his parents, but he would never be Sirius.

Sirius was always the favorite. There were obvious reasons for this. Every family wants their firstborn to be handsome, smart, and lively. Sirius was all of those things. That wasn't to say that the Blacks were an unattractive family. Regulus also had the wavy black hair that so many girls fawned over, and the sharp features and mysterious eyes the Blacks were so well known for. But it all looked so much better and Sirius, as if it was magnified. Regulus was also bright. He did well in every class, but not without effort. Sirius Black put next to no effort in anything he did, and yet he was still excellent. Regulus practiced for so long to be seeker on the Quidditch team. Sirius, on a whim, and gone to tryouts with James one day and made the team. Liveliness, being social, was never Regulus' strength.

Regulus, as hard as he tried, was not Sirius. His parents always pretended around other pure-blood families and family members that they were so proud of Regulus. Honestly, they hadn't been truly proud of their second son until they learned he had the dark mark. At home, when Regulus was all alone with his parents, they never treated him like they had treated Sirius. Regulus just didn't have as much potential as his older brother, and his parents only saw that. They didn't see how hard Regulus tried to impress them, and they didn't know how good a son Regulus really was. No one truly did, actually. No one really knew how much devotion Regulus put into being the best Black son he could be. Even at school, Regulus was overshadowed by his older brother. All professors compared them. Even the Slytherins talked about Sirius more than Regulus.

If anyone actually knew what Regulus was doing, they wouldn't think so little of him, for Regulus had taken up a very noble task indeed. For the first year Sirius was away, Regulus just acted like he normally did. But after having Sirius home for the summer and seeing his parents distraught over his actions, Regulus began to form an idea. He wanted to make his parents happy, of course, but after Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, Regulus knew that his family's name was slowly being more tarnished with everything Sirius did. Regulus took up the job of being the perfect Black.

By the time Sirius came home from school the second time, and Regulus was ready to go to Hogwarts, he had entirely changed. That's when Sirius began to hate him. Regulus wanted to follow in Sirius' footsteps, though. He had always admired his brother, and looked up to him. But Regulus kept his plan alive by telling himself that it was for his family name. For his parents. The parents who never would truly love him. Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, of course. The sorting hat had actually been pondering where to put Regulus, but he had stubbornly asked to be put in Slytherin. It was all essential to the plan. He had to stay the perfect son. It was necessary. It became even more so when later in the year, his cousin Andromeda was disowned for marrying the mud-blood Tonks. Regulus begun to hang out with the other Slytherin pure-bloods whom he thought idiotic and blood-obsessed. He sneered at every mention of Sirius, although he still loved his brother. When Regulus began to hear Sirius complaining of him to his friends, he knew the plan was in motion.

During Regulus' first summer home from Hogwarts, he made it his duty to annoy his brother even more. He actually enjoyed having his parents dote on him all the time to make Sirius angry. Only Regulus hadn't seen that his parents' love for him had been fake, and they just wanted Sirius back. Regulus had been too obsessed in the plan to see what was really going on. Sirius began to truly hate Regulus, thought his younger brother never stopped loving him. Although, Regulus had actually become to be annoyed at Sirius. No longer could he find comfort in his older brother. He had to work everything out on his own, and it was all because Sirius had been too pigheaded to see what was best for the family. He just had to put his own concerns above his family's. It didn't matter if the Black name was tarnished, as log as Sirius got his way, Regulus told himself with a hint of scorn dripping from his words.

It was during his fourth year that Regulus had to take the plan up a notch. Sirius was becoming completely lost. Regulus was getting completely lost himself. Lost in the plan, Regulus was unable to see what was truly happening to him. He was slowly becoming more immersed with the children of dark wizards. He tried to ignore the signs that something was wrong. He just had to carry out existence through the plan. The more he snapped at Sirius, or pleased his parents, or the more dark curses he learnt, the better. After the school year ended, Sirius ran away. The family disowned him. Regulus was blindsided. He hadn't seen this coming.

First it had been Andromeda, who now had a half-blood daughter, so Regulus was told. That had been more expected; Regulus had seen it coming. Sirius leaving was like loosing the family gold, and now Orion and Walburga Black were stuck with the silver. Regulus was silver. Sirius was the tarnished gold. That's when Regulus started to pretend to wallow in awe at every mention of the Dark Lord. Honestly, Regulus did believe pure-blood held supremacy, but that was what Slytherin was for. Half-bloods and mud-bloods could go in any other house and live whatever life they wanted, Regulus really couldn't care too much. But to the rest of the Black family, it was more than just supremacy. They wanted annihilation. Although Walburga and Orion were not death eaters, it was obvious that they had those views. By Febuary of 1978, Regulus had no choice. He had been pretending he wanted to follow in the Dark Lord's footsteps for years. He finally had to take action.

Death Eater. Regulus winced, sobbed, and pulled up his sleeves to look at it again. He had to make sure it was real, and that it hadn't all been some awful nightmare. But it was right there as it had been the night before, staring up at Regulus. Maybe it was just in his head, but Regulus was sure that it was darker. Getting the dark mark was the most selfless part of the plan. He had finally won over his parents fully. In fact, he remembered them beaming as they told the rest of the Black family that Regulus had finally done it. He remembered the smile on his strange cousin Bellatrix's face when she had heard over the holidays that he was thinking of becoming a Death Eater.

Regulus was still choking with sobs. His body was wracked with emotion of fear of what was to come. He had heard it from Mulciber—There was no turning back. Regulus already felt like he had gone in too far, and that's when a strange feeling flooded over him. For the first time since he received the mark, Regulus felt alone. No one was really on his side. No one, not even Kreacher, the lowly house elf who understood Regulus more than anyone, knew what he was going through. His brother hated him. His parents always wanted Sirius, not him. His friends weren't loyal like Sirius'. They'd leave if Regulus did anything against their beliefs.

The last of the tears subsided, and Regulus sighed as he turned on the faucet and bent his head into the freezing cold water. Most likely, this was going to be his last year at Hogwarts. All of his "friends" were going to leave to join in the death eater raids, and Regulus was expected by everyone to follow blindly. Some days, Regulus wanted to throw in the towel. He had enough. Rising from the sink, he spat on the bathroom floor and reached for a rock in his pocket. He felt its smooth, cold edges as he wrapped his fingers across the small grey stone. Cold non-living. That's how Regulus felt. With a loud, angry yell, he threw it across the room, shattering a bathroom mirror. Regulus panted heavily, and walked against a wall on the far left side of the bathroom. He felt the arm with the dark mark pulsing, and he slid his back down the wall so he was once again sitting on the floor. He then curled up into a ball, stretching his lanky arms over his legs and hurrying his face into his knees as he wept. It was just another day.

Author's Note:

This is a new story I have been thinking of for awhile now. So far, all I have is the prologue, which is what is currently posted. I am going to wait to see what kind of interest there is in this story. I will continue to work on my other story with the marauders reading the third book, this will simply be a side story for the time being. If you wish to see more of this story, please review. Thanks, I do hope to work on this though.

Unti then,

-coloronthewalls