A/N: This was a secret santa gift for alchemyminiamv on tumblr and I posted it on ao3 a while ago, but thought I might as well just throw it up here as well. Can be read as platonic or having hints of romance, even though I wrote it more with the second one in mind.
"…Killua? I'm sorry."
They're lying in bed, and Killua was just starting to doze off when Gon's voice broke the silence. Cracking an eye open, he gave the other boy a long look before rolling over onto his back so that they weren't lying face-to-face.
"Didn't I already tell you? It's fine – it doesn't even hurt that much."
He already knew what Gon was apologizing about, and he didn't want to hear it. In any case, there wasn't really anything to apologize for. Killua didn't have any regrets about what had happened this evening, after all.
Even as his bandaged hands stung and throbbed, will continue to throb for weeks to come, there was not a single speck of regret in him. Physical pain was nothing new, nothing special; he could endure it all. And unlike all those times when he endured it for his family, he was actually doing it of his own free will this time. This time, it was for Gon.
It has to be Killua!
Gon trusted him. He wanted nobody but Killua to hold the ball, and Killua wouldn't have passed up that chance for the world.
But from the sound of blankets shifting, he could tell that Gon wasn't about to just drop the matter. "Liar," the shorter boy dragged the word out, pouting. "You were complaining when Bisky bandaged your hands earlier! Obviously it still hurts."
…Well. Killua slid his hands further down and under the blanket. "Seriously, it's fine. I've been through worse." That wasn't even a lie.
"I shouldn't have asked you to do it, though," Gon insisted, ever stubborn. "I wanted to win and I was upset that Razor almost killed you. But I shouldn't have hurt you-"
"I wanted to, alright?" Killua cut him off, abrupt and sharp. Stop apologizing. I don't regret it, so why should you? I don't want you to regret choosing me. "It's no big deal. I helped you because I wanted to!"
Gon's choice made him feel wanted and important. Some physical injuries were a small price to pay for that, right? It wasn't anything worth making a big deal over, not in Killua's opinion at least. He would do it again without a second thought.
Silence fell between them. Then Gon made an unhappy sound, and Killua felt the mattress dip as the other boy shuffled a little closer on their shared bed. "Ne, Killua." Gently, he poked Killua on the arm. "I won't ever, ever hurt you again. And I promise I'll take care of you while your hands are injured!"
"Huh?" Killua rolled over on his side again and looked down at Gon's outstretched pinky with something like bemusement. "Don't be so dramatic, Gon. Only my hands are hurt – you're making it sound like I'm crippled or something."
"Ehhh, that's not true!" Gon whined, shoving his pinky forwards insistently. "I just want to help!"
The atmosphere felt lighter now, and Killua chuckled slightly at the childish gesture. "Fine, fine. I'll take your word for it – I can't do a pinky promise when my fingers are all bandaged up, remember?" he added, then leaned forward and knocked their foreheads together playfully. "Just go to sleep, Gon."
Gon grumbled slightly, but didn't say anything more. A comfortable silence fell over them, and lulled both boys to sleep.
When Killua woke up the next morning, the space next to him was empty. That wasn't unusual, though – unlike him, Gon was an early bird and would usually have been up for an hour by the time Killua began to stir. What was unusual was the fact that it was almost ten in the morning and Bisky wasn't screaming at him to get up yet.
The white-haired boy allowed himself the luxury of staying in bed for another five minutes before pushing the blankets aside and finally dragging himself up and getting dressed. Putting on his clothes turned out to be a challenge when every accidental brush made his hands sting with pain, but he managed – albeit with some difficulty. He was just starting to try turning the doorknob with his elbows when the door swung open of its own accord, revealing Gon on the other side.
"Killua, you're up!" the enhancer's face brightened as he walked in with a heavily-loaded plate of food. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving!" Killua confirmed, nudging the door closed with his foot and following Gon back in, eyes trained to the plate and face quickly splitting into a huge grin as he saw its contents. "Chocolate chip pancakes, awesome!"
"I got the last batch," Gon confirmed, setting the plate down on a table and dragging over two chairs for them to sit on. "I already ate downstairs, so these are all yours!"
The aroma is absolutely enticing and it's been a while since Killua was able to indulge in sweets on Greed Island, so he's ready to dig in as soon as they sat down. Only when he reached for a fork and found it near-impossible to hold anything without his fingers screaming in protest, did he realize the problem.
…This was going to make eating difficult.
Undeterred, Killua tried to grab the fork anyways. He's no stranger to pain, so surely he could withstand it long enough to feed himself! But as it turned out, the most important problem lied within the fact that his hands were so damaged they weren't working like he wanted them to. It was physically impossible for him to pick anything up.
Giving a small growl of frustration, Killua redoubled his efforts. He was so focused on his little self-assigned task that he didn't realize the forkful of pancakes being held in front of his face until he looked up and almost bumped into it.
"Here," Gon smiled at him, and the strange light in his eyes – a shadow of yesterday's guilt, perhaps – was gone when he blinked. The black-haired boy pushed his fork of food out until it nudged against Killua's lips. "You can't use your hands, right? So I'll help."
Killua jerked back so fast it was almost as if he'd been burned. "Wha – no! I don't need you to feed me!"
"I'm not going to let you go hungry! Pleeeease, Killua?" Gon dragged the word out, his bottom lip protruding in an endearing pout that he knew Killua was weak against.
"No way!"
Gon's brows furrowed. "Why? It's just for a little while, until your hands get better!"
Honestly, the thought of that alone was too embarrassing already. But the mouth-watering scent of chocolate was tempting, and what's left of his defenses was being quickly worn down by Gon's big puppy eyes. After a few seconds, Killua gave a huff and crossed his arms, looking off to the side.
"F-Fine. I guess I'll be able to eat faster this way, at least."
"…"
"…"
"…You have to open your mouth if you want me to feed you, Killua." Gon raised an eyebrow and gave a pointed look at Killua's closed lips.
The white-haired boy recoiled again, blushing pink all the way up to the tip of his ears. "I know that! Don't be so impatient…"
Gon beamed at him. "Say 'ah!'"
"Like hell I am!" Killua snapped back, face flushed. Ignoring the frantic, anxious thump-thump-thumps of his heart, he took a deep breath and opened his mouth, leaning forward. There was an urge to close his eyes because Gon was looking straight at him and he felt like his face was hot enough to have burst into metaphorical flames.
Gon was just helping him eat. This should be no big deal, and Killua felt absolutely ridiculous to have gotten so wound up about it. But at the same time, he couldn't stop.
Gon was mercifully quiet throughout the entire thing, and soon Killua was pulling back with a mouthful of deliciously sweet pancakes. As he chewed, Gon speared another slice onto the fork and held it out again. "How is it?"
"Mhm…good," Killua swallowed, blue eyes darting briefly between the offered food and Gon's face before he leaned forward again. This time it was a little easier, and the next time even easier still. By the time they've worked through most of the plate, Killua was significantly more relaxed and no longer wound up like a spring every time he leaned forward again. Humming in satisfaction, he swallowed a mouthful of fruit and opened his lips again. Gon leaned in a little as well, offering him the last of the strawberries.
And of course, it was at that moment that Bisky chose to slam the door open.
"Alright, boys–" then she stopped, blinking at the scene before her. A teasing smirk made its way onto her face. "Well, well. You two certainly seem to be enjoying yourselves."
Killua burst into a violent fit of coughs, having choked on his bite of fruit when Bisky appeared. It was hard to tell whether the colour on his face was because of the choking or the embarrassment. Beside him, Gon smiled innocently up at their mentor and set the bowl down. "I was helping Killua eat, since he couldn't use his hands! We're done now."
"Yes, I can see that." Bisky grinned, amused by Killua's reaction, then gave a dismissive wave and turned around. "Well, now that you're both ready, come meet me downstairs and we'll begin the training! We don't have much time to prepare for Genthru's group, so there's not a moment to waste."
"Osu!" Gon's reply was enthusiastic as he began gathering up the used plates and utensils, eager to follow Bisky down and commence training. Still, he paused to smile at Killua. "I'll do the same for you tonight, okay?"
"…Yeah, okay." Killua rubbed at his nose with the back of his hand, slightly abashed, but the corners of his lips tilted up into a matching smile as well. "Just until my hands get better."
But really, it hadn't been so bad. He supposed…that he wouldn't mind, after all.
