With the recent "Angst of the Amethyst" theme the show seems to be treading through now, a few obscure ideas I've had on my mind for a while, both angsty and laugh-inspiring, but which I didn't know quite what to do with, have begun to come together more coherently. As I started writing this, I began to realize that, rather than the one-shot I'd had in mind at first, it might work better if I make this a three-parter, or such. Here's the first part, and as you'll see, this one is predominantly angst. Not to worry, though, the humour evidenced by the genres on the label will come along later.
Copyright for Steven Universe and all characters used belongs to Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network.
"So, you're still holding on to that puny runt, Rose?" Jasper taunts in her typical excessively-bravado way.
Speaking up for herself, Amethyst challenges, "Seriously, dude, can't you think of any other insult?"
"If the helmet fits, wear it, Runt!" comes Jasper's unfeeling reply, said with her arms pillowing her head as she lies back in a very smug manner, atop her corrupt "pet".
"Okay, you are so gonna regret that," the purple gem growls, priming herself.
"I guess you didn't learn your lesson the first time..." Jasper grins, having absolutely no inkling as to how cliched she sounds. She hops down from the corrupt gem to reiterate her previous "teaching" to Amethyst, when the beast bolts like a shot in the forward direction. At the very least, it's enough to distract the stripey soldier.
"GET BACK HERE, YOU!" she bellows, spin-dashing to catch up with and intercept the creature, who by this time has made it quite close to the beach house attached to the Crystal Gem's temple. It in fact gets as far along as rearing up to paw at the deck for whatever reason.
"Gotcha!" Jasper pounces atop the beast's head. Steven, Connie and Amethyst race to catch up with her, their objective being to bring a stop to her way-too-close-for-comfort proximity to the temple. The beast, in the meantime, swipes down a potted plant that was recently placed on the deck, amidst its frantic flailing of its paws. Jasper steadies her "pet" within the next several seconds, only to find herself suddenly adorned with a potted-plant hat.
"Ugh! What the -" Removing it, she glances it over, then smirks derisively. "Huh. So even your Earth vegetation, Rose? What is your fascination with runts, anyway?"
Connie, now atop the deck together with the others, is the one who answers, "That's a bonsai tree! Bonsai is an ancient Japanese art of cultivating small trees in containers in a way that mimics larger -" By now, she's holding up a guidebook with the word "BONSAI" in bold capitals on the front, her finger pointing to the term – she'd brought the tree and the guide over earlier, due to Steven having expressed interest in learning the art when it came up in conversation. At this point, however, she stops herself, wondering out loud, "Wait, why am I even explaining this?"
It comes to be that she has two good reasons to second-guess the choice. First off, the stripey gem couldn't care less about the "arts" practiced by any human culture. Secondly, something about the term "bonsai"'s meaning did however serve as a point of intrigue...
Having eyed the title of the book before it was drawn away, Jasper grins with menacing mischief as she turns to Amethyst, calling up to her, "I see now. Rose doesn't keep you because of your fighting capability – since you haven't got any. She keeps you as a form of art!"
"What? No!" Steven protests, while Amethyst goes in seconds from stunned to seething.
"Oh, I'm gonna have fun with this," Jasper mutters out loud to herself. Tossing the plant carelessly back up to them - somehow it lands perfectly upright and unharmed - she drives the monster back to the ocean, calling over her shoulder, "Thanks for enlightening me about your... bonsai quartz!"
The three watch Jasper sink out of view again. "She sure comes and goes a lot," Steven mutters, bemused and fairly suspicious.
"I'm. Not. A. Bonsai!" Amethyst growls under her breath, turning around and stomping inside the beach house.
"Don't listen to her, Amethyst!" Connie calls, only to get a slammed door as a response. "Well, at least it's a politer sounding term than 'runt'."
/
Amethyst's attempt to appease her troubled mind with slumber that night ends up failing miserably. Pretty much as soon as she gets comfortable on one of her junk piles and drifts into sleep, her dreams become filled with torment inspired by the outcome of their latest Jasper encounter:
She steps outside, just to breathe in the fresh sea air. As soon as the door is closed behind her, suddenly Jasper's giant form shadows over her...
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Bonsai Quartz!"
"Shut up!" Amethyst yells, pushing past Jasper with ease. Where was this strength when she tried to fight her before?
"Aw, don't go away, Bonsai!" Jasper is back in her face – for some reason her head is twice the size it normally is, and is down at Amethyst's level.
"I don't wanna HEAR about it!" Amethyst snaps.
"Alright then," the Jasper head leers. "Why don't you feel it instead?!"
"What the?" Amethyst gasps, looking down at herself. Now stationed in the midst of a surreal background of strange, warpy patterns and lights, Amethyst is dumbstruck to find herself groin-deep in a soil-filled flower pot. "Whoa! How did I – GET ME OUTTA HERE!" she shrieks, struggling to climb her way out of the pot. Doubled over, attempting to hoist herself up by pressing down on the soil in front of her, she glances up again when she hears laughter from all directions.
"Let's hear it for the BONSAI QUARTZ!" Jasper's voice booms. With dismay, Amethyst now finds herself surrounded by myriads of faces – from behind Jasper are countless vague silhouettes of Homeworld gems she's never met, all laughing and chanting, "Bonsai Quartz! Bonsai Quartz! BONSAI QUARTZ! BONSAI QUARTZ!"
"No, no, stop it! Stop it! THAT'S NOT MY NAME!" she yells, then jerks her head up again when she sees, right in front of her, the most heartbreaking taunters that could have been present.
The Crystal Gems, along with Greg and Connie, are all laughing uproariously. All of them. Garnet, Steven, Pearl, Peridot – even Peridot is point and snickering at her.
"No... No!" Amethyst repeats herself, unable to take it.
"Remind me," Pearl says, doubling over with laughter, "why we took this long to tell her, hahaha, the real reason we took her in?"
"It was worth the wait!" Garnet cheers, leaning on Greg for support.
"Guys... h-how could you?" Amethyst murmurs, her eyes watering up.
"Oh, that reminds me!" A melodic, echoing voice announces, as none other than Rose Quartz herself steps out from behind Steven.
"R-R-Rose?" Amethyst's voice quivers, too shocked to comprehend much else.
"It's time for your watering, Amethyst!" Rose gleefully announces, the echoing effect of her voice reverberating ominously from all around.
"My what?" The purple gem yips.
Connie elaborates, as the chorus of laughter is put on hold for the moment, "Well, you've got to keep a bonsai watered, after all!"
As soon as she finishes saying this, a torrent that would drown any actual houseplant fifty times over cascades down atop Amethyst. Shaking her soaked hair off of her face, she glances up to see Lapis Lazuli, obviously the source of that downpour, cracking it up yards above her. More water then falls down, and a glance around soon proves this new downfall to be coming from Rose Quartz, now grown to an epic proportion and laughing so hard that tears are flowing freely from her eyes. Rose's healing tears. It's not likely they could ever heal this tremendous hurt.
"Guys, stop it. I'm begging you," Amethyst whispers now, her voice too choked up to be any louder.
Ignoring her pained pleas, the Crystal Gems, Lapis, their human friends, Jasper, Centipeetle and all the corrupt gems Amethyst has ever encountered, and the mysterious Homeworld residents all resume their loud chanting and laughter, united under a truce for the simple sake of mocking her.
"Bonsai Quartz! Bonsai Quartz! BONSAI QUARTZ! BONSAI QUARTZ!"
"Knock it off!" Amethyst groans. "Guys, stop it!" If anything, the cacophony picks up more. "I'm serious! Please!" Just plain enraged now, she gets her voice back and hollers, "BONSAI QUARTZ IS GETTIN' UPSET!"
AN: Yep. Lots of angst as I promised. There's going to be a bit more, as we move along, but I don't think it will be so intense in the next chapter. After all, along with Amethyst's last line in this chapter being inspired by a quote of George Costanza, from Seinfeld, much of my inspiration for the plot of this fanfic comes from the Family Guy episode, "A Fistful of Meg." Stay tuned!