empty
pairing: Liam/Harry
It's a freezing cold, but sunny, October day, beautiful actually, scenic in its clear magnificence and Liam can appreciate the view from his windows, but it doesn't touch his emotions like maybe it should. Like it would have once, less than a year ago.
It's been four months since Harry left. Or rather, since he stopped coming home. Four months since Liam was last able to breathe properly. It's been even longer since he was genuinely happy.
He stopped crying when summer turned to autumn, stopped hoping that Harry would come back, and he also stopped living and started becoming a pathetic shadow of the person he used to be. It's unfair, cruel even, that this is what he gets for loving someone that much (too much? no, absolutely not).
They were always a bit of an odd couple, at least in the eyes of other people who didn't know them. To Liam they made perfect sense. It was the playfulness in Harry's wild eyes and the calm strength of Liam's arms that had them gravitating towards each other when they first met and the uniquely different ways they loved but in equal measures that kept them together for as long as it did.
But it wasn't to be. Or perhaps it was, but then life with all its temptations got in the way of fate. Fate should have fought harder for them, Liam thinks, they deserved to be fought for and they deserved a different kind of ending.
They were no longer teenagers exploring the world and themselves and each other. They were older now, and wow, it's amazing how ten years can go by and no one seems to get any older. Except for maybe Liam.
Harry started going out without Liam. Not really anything exceptionally unusual about that, except he also went out without the other boys and that was not usual at all. Liam didn't want to worry about it (but he did, he couldn't help it) and he trusted Harry (in theory), but most importantly he loved Harry (so much, still does) and wanted him to do whatever made him happy. And if Harry needed to go out to clubs and bars and drink and dance then that was fine with Liam, it really was, because he always came home to Liam, sometimes not until the morning, but he always came back, and they loved each other, Harry told him so every day, and he would never do anything or anyone he wasn't supposed to. He would never break them because they were supposed to be together forever. Beat all the odds.
Louis said it was just Harry wanting to enjoy being a celebrity and getting to hang out with his cool celebrity friends. He said it was just a phase, something Harry needed to get out of his system, because, he was sure that Harry had big plans for him and Liam. Louis said a lot of things.
Months went on like this, but Liam's confidence and happiness started to disappear. He started doubting Louis' words because it felt like Harry was distant now, farther away from him every day. He realised finally that yes, they had actually gotten ten years older and maybe, maybe, maybe he wanted a little bit more than they had now (a different kind of commitment, a family), but it didn't appear as if that was something on Harry's mind at all anymore.
But he always came home to Liam. He always crawled into bed next to him, kissed him and cuddled him and told him he loved him.
Until one night he didn't.
(His name was Nick).
Liam is empty now. He has cried all his tears and he has screamed all he could, he's been hurt and angry and scared and lonely and now there is only emptiness left. He has overheard Louis and Zayn talking about him – depression, they say. They don't know anything – Liam just wants Harry – his body needs him and he can't function without him. He realises that he would even let Harry have as many affairs and flings as he wanted if only he would come home. He made the mistake of expressing that thought out loud. That's when Zayn slapped him, a horrified look on his face, and then he started talking about seeing someone, a therapist or someone to help him, because this was not normal.
Zayn has apparently forgotten that Liam stopped caring about normal when he met Harry.
He stopped caring about a lot of things when he met Harry, like what people thought about him and what they said about their relationship.
He stopped caring about everything else when Harry stopped coming home.