Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Another Swan Queen fic, post midseason finale…this equals very angsty. Femmeslash, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Please review if you have time :)

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Regina sat in front of her father's grave, just thinking. The day was ending, the sun setting behind the trees. The curse - her curse - had been reset almost a year ago. It had been a year since she had seen Henry, since she'd been forced to give him up because he was what she loved most. However, she'd also lost someone else. She'd lost someone else close to her heart. No one had known she had lost her; they'd kept their love a secret. But she'd lost her all the same.

Emma.

Rumplestiltskin had warned her of the price of the curse she'd enacted for revenge against Snow White. He'd warned her of the consequences of such a dark act. But she'd not heeded his warning. As a result, she lost the two people who meant more to her than anything in the world.

It had been a whirlwind for the two of them being together. At first it had been for sexual release, a way for them to relieve pain and ignore what was going on around them for just a little while. They'd been together everywhere when they were sure to have privacy. The police station on top of the desks, in her Mercedes — both in it and on the hood of it — the woods down by the bubbling stream when it had been warm enough. But it hadn't been for love. Both of them had agreed to that.

Regina entered the empty police station and looked around. "Ms. Swan?" she called out expectantly. The two of them had been having relations for several weeks now, and she was coming to the station now to get her fix. It was a mutual arrangement for them; they wanted release, so they gave it to each other. Quite willingly.

Emma appeared from a supply closet and nodded to her. "Good," she said. "You came."

"Of course," Regina purred. "If I recall correctly, I was the one who called the meeting." She set her purse down and strode fiercely towards Emma. She grabbed her roughly by her jacket's coat collar and kissed her fiercely. Her lips commanded her's and her tongue slipped into her mouth, sliding against her equally velvety one. She tasted of mint, and Regina wanted nothing more than to drown in her taste. Pushing her roughly against a filing cabinet, she grasped her breast with one of her hands and squeezed it tightly, eliciting a moan from Emma's mouth. Her lips began to trail down her neck and down her sternum, searing the flesh of her skin. Emma's fingers slid into her raven colored hair, and she tangled her fingers in it. She tugged slightly on her scalp, sending wonderful tingles down Regina's body.

"Desk," Emma ordered. "Now."

Yanking her backwards, Regina dragged them both towards the desk and continued to kiss her with all her strength. When she slammed into the table, Emma forcefully pushed the blazer off of her and hastily ripped the buttons of her blouse, revealing her lacy, sheer black bra, the same color as her hair. Through it, her dusky rose nipples were diamond hard buds and Emma ran her thumbs over both of them simultaneously. Regina threw her head back and hissed in pleasure. She immediately began removing Emma's clothes until she was completely topless, her perky breasts standing at attention and begging to be touched. Regina smiled wickedly and grabbed her by her nipples and pulled her forward. It was clear by Emma's moan of delight that she loved the rough feeling.

Slowly, Emma began unzipping Regina's skirt and yanked it off, the panties following close behind. She dropped to her knees and began licking up the inside of her snowy thigh, cleaning up any juices that had slithered down them.

"Oh God, Emma!" she moaned, hardly able to stand the anticipation of Emma's mouth being on her center. But Emma was intent on making her suffer apparently. Her lips slowly trailed up towards her pussy, and she pulled her head back to look up at Regina, a smile playing upon her lips before she blew on Regina's sensitive clit and latched her mouth down on it.

Afterwards, the two of them lay on the desk, Regina draped over Emma. She leaned up on her elbows to look down at the beauty beneath her and moved a lock of rumpled hair from her face. "This isn't for love," she said. "Just fucking."

Emma trailed her fingers up Regina's spine and she nodded. "Not love at all."

But that wasn't the case at all. At least not anymore. The moments before the green smoke had engulfed Storybrooke, she had realized something vital: she did love Emma Swan. Only she hadn't realized it until it was too late. She should have told her, she should have told her everything about how she felt, even though Emma's memories would be gone in a matter of moments.

She'd signed up for this. She should have realized that at some point Rumple's prophecy of her having a hole in her heart would become real. Of course, she hadn't anticipated falling in love with someone who wasn't Daniel. She hadn't anticipated finding someone who she would dream about nightly. So not only had she ruined the inhabitants of the Enchanted Forest's lives, but she'd ruined her own.

She'd decimated her own life.

Her dark heart had finally caught up to her. And it had done it by not letting her realize she was in love with Emma Swan until she had to let her go.

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

Emma sat up in her bed and glanced at her alarm clock beside her bed. It was four o'clock in the morning, and a dream had woken her. Her dream last night had been about a strange woman who felt oddly…familiar? Something about her rose red lips and raven hair was striking to her, and she wanted to know why she felt so attracted to her. Why did she feel like she knew her in the most intimate ways possible, too? She wanted to feel her skin and lips against her's.

But the woman was nothing more than a figure she'd conjured in her dreams.

Wasn't she?

"Ugh, I'll just go back to sleep," she muttered to herself. "Just a dream."