A Forksummer Night's Dream

Persons Represented.

Billy THESEUS, Duke of Athens.

Charlie EGEUS, Father to Hermia.

Jacob LYSANDER, in love with Hermia.

Edward DEMETRIUS, in love with Hermia.

Old Quil PHILOSTRATE, Master of the Revels to Theseus.

Sam QUINCE, the Carpenter.

Seth SNUG, the Joiner.

Quil BOTTOM, the Weaver.

Embry FLUTE, the Bellows-mender.

Paul SNOUT, the Tinker.

Jared STARVELING, the Tailor.

Tiffany Call HIPPOLYTA, Queen of the Amazons, betrothed to Theseus.

Bella HERMIA, daughter to Egeus, in love with Lysander.

Leah HELENA, in love with Demetrius.

Carlisle OBERON, King of the Fairies, the creatures of the night.

Esme TITANIA, Queen of the Fairies.

Alice PUCK, or ROBIN GOODFELLOW, a Fairy.

Rosalie PEASBLOSSOM, Fairy.

Tanya COBWEB, Fairy.

Jasper MOTH, Fairy.

Emmett MUSTARDSEED, Fairy.

PYRAMUS, THISBE, WALL, MOONSHINE, LION } Characters in the Interlude performed by the Clowns/PACK.

AN: A while ago my beta challenged me to write a crossover Shakespeare Twilight fic. She wanted a Midsummer night's dream in particular. It had a bit of merit as there are two guys in love with the same girl, groups of people, a mismatched marriage, wolves and creatures of the night.

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer or William Shakespeare - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.

Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] and Feebes86 for betaing and pre-reading.

SCENE: La Push, and a wood not far from it.

ACT I.

La Push. A room in the Palace of THESEUS. Aka Billy Black's kitchen

Enter Billy, Tiffany and old Quil.

"Four days until we get married Tiffany! It'll be the new moon then. I am so excited; I swear the last few days seem to be moving so slowly. You make me feel like a young man again."

She bent down to kiss him as he sat in his wheelchair.

"I've been watching it too. I know just what you mean. I worry that these four days will go so fast. The days seem so long, but the nights pass quickly. I seem to be dreaming all the time; as soon as my head hits the pillow and then the alarm is going off." She kissed him again and squeezed one of his wide shoulders. "I too will be pleased to see the thin new moon on the night of our wedding. Such a great idea to get married at night!"

"Old Quil, I have a job for you: I want you to get the wolf pack to organise some bonfires. This is a time of celebration. Those boys can organise a party at the drop of a hat. This won't be any trouble for them."

"I'll speak to Sam." Old Quil left.

Billy looked at his bride to be. "Oh Tiffany. I know I won your heart a long time ago and I am sorry it has taken so long for us to be together. But I promise that the unhappy recent years will be forgotten when we marry with the biggest party the rez has seen for a while."

A car door slammed. Charlie, Bella, Jacob and Edward knocked; calling out as they let themselves into the tiny home. Billy frowned, but the vampires had renegotiated the treaty after some debate between Bella Jacob and Edward. Each man professed to be in love with the tiny brunette.

"Hey chief," Charlie greeted his best friend. "How's it going?"

"Excellent Charlie! And you? How's it hanging?"

Charlie blinked. "What the?"

"New lingo. I'm down with the kids you know Charlie."

"Uh huh."

"Whassup?" Billy asked again. Jake snorted. Bella covered a smile. Edward looked perplexed. He was never very good with jargon and language changes.

"Bella is trying to make me crazy," Charlie announced.

"She is?" Billy checked.

"Yes… Edward," he waved a hand at him and the tousle headed youth stepped forward meekly. "Edward wants to marry her. But this boy," he pointed at Jacob now. "He is causing problems."

Billy raised an eyebrow and studied his son.

Charlie continued, "Last night I caught him climbing in her window. Her bedroom window," he emphasised.

"Did you shoot him?"

"No out of respect for you."

"Okay… next time just fire."

"Noted. But in any case, Jake here has been giving Bella little gifts; hand made bracelets woven from his hair with little wooden wolves attached to them. He writes her these awful love notes. I mean they are awful in that they are just half scribbled out mostly and his writing is appalling… I suppose the content is heartfelt but she is eating it up. And I've given my permission for her to marry Edward Cullen. She can't behave like this! And I know she led Edward on for months. He's even given her his mother's engagement ring. And she wears it, so she has accepted the reality of the arrangement. My civic reputation is at stake. If the mayor loses popularity points because of the way she is behaving, it'll cost me my job. No one has faith in a police chief who can't control his own daughter! If she can't choose which one she wants, then I, as her father, should get the final say. This double dating 'oh I love them both' thing has to stop. She has to marry Edward or she can go back to Florida and live with her mother; I'm not putting up with this shit anymore."

[AN: in the play she was to be put to death or sent to a nunnery; Florida… same difference]

Billy looked thoughtful. "Bella?" he asked. "Your father is right. You are his daughter and you should respect his opinion. He has chosen wisely for you with Edward and you yourself said that you love him."

"But I love Jacob too," she stated.

"True, but if you love them both and cannot decide, then perhaps you should let your father choose for you. He is older and wiser and his choice should also be yours."

"But I can only see Jacob now," she whispered. "He's sort of beautiful. I wish Dad could see that."

"Looks aren't important here, your father's judgment is."

"I'm sorry Billy. I know I am usually meek and mild and not argumentative at all. But you can't agree to send me to Florida! That's a fate worse than death! To have to live with my mother again."

"It's Florida… or a nunnery. If you are having such man troubles at such an early age it might be better if you became a nun. Won't have to deal with men again, you'll be a bride of Christ. You can sing can't you? They sing a lot of hymns I heard." He gave each boy a withering glance. "And from the looks of it, you're still a virgin…" Edward looked horrified. Jake blushed. Bella made a startled squeak noise. "Better and better; to grow, live and die in a virgin state. It's the highest level of blessing for a nun. They'll grab you; an eighteen year old virgin in La Push. Those are pretty rare, you know."

"What?" Bella protested. "I can't even get Edward to kiss me properly. I've got no hope of losing my virginity to him. I refuse to be married as a virgin and to him… what if he's a dud fuck? He's a 106 years old for goodness' sake. And my soul will be in peril if I marry him." She leaned forward and whispered, "He wants to make me a vampire you know. I shouldn't be an eternal virgin… what if my hymen keeps growing back?"

Billy sighed. "Four days. You have until the next new moon to think about it. When Tiffany and I are getting married. On that day you will tell your decision; marry Edward or go to a nunnery. And remember he's rich; nuns are poor. A life of austerity awaits you."

"Why the new moon?" she asked.

"I don't know, but it sounds good don't you think? It would make a good book title."

Edward spoke, his cultured tone sounding superior. "You are mine Isabella," he announced. "Cease and desist, Jacob!" He glared at the taller boy. "You are insane if you think you can win this battle."

Jacob scoffed, "If Charlie has the hots for you so badly, Edward, why doesn't he marry you?"

"Hey Jake," Charlie blustered. "I can't speak for Edward but I'm not inclined that way at all." He studied the marble skinned youth. "Although the hair is kind of a give away isn't it." He frowned. "But in any case, I've made my decision. I'm choosing the money. Oops sorry, I meant I'm choosing Edward as Bella's husband."

"Hey," Jake argued. "I'm as pretty as he is in a hunky, muscular body like a god kind of way. Pasty white boy here has nothing on me in the looks department. I have heritage and tradition on my side. My people have been here for thousands of years. He just seems like he's a thousand years old. I may be poor, but the biggest thing in my favour is that I love Bella." He glared at Edward. "And maybe I shouldn't say this, but… the last time I was on patrol I heard him."

"Heard him?" Charlie checked.

"The Wolf mind is shared," Billy explained. "They can hear the thoughts of others when in wolf form."

"But Edward isn't a wolf," Charlie pointed out.

"No," interrupted Jake. "But Leah is."

"Leah?" Bella gasped. "What were you doing with Leah?"

"Don't listen to him love," Edward pleaded.

"It sounded to me like they were..." He stopped suddenly and turned to Bella. "I'm sorry honey. I should have told you. I hate you to find out like this."

"W-What were they doing?" she whispered.

"Fucking," Jake baldly stated.

"What?" She turned on her fiancée. "You bastard! You told me you were saving yourself until marriage. You lying, cheating wretch!"

Edward looked caught out. "I was weak, it won't happen again."

"With Leah?"

"I had heard that rumour," Billy said. "I had forgotten it. I thought they must have meant Paul and Leah not Edward and Leah." He shook his head. "In any case, Charlie, Edward, I want to talk to you both privately." He glanced back at the fuming Bella. "You have a decision to make young lady. Edward or Christ; those are your choices. Come out on the front porch you two. Tiffany, do you mind pushing my chair?"

"Of course not sweetie."

Jake and Bella were left alone.

"Bells? Are you okay? I've never seen anyone go white with anger before."

"I am so angry, I feel like crying."

"Oh honey, don't worry about it. What's that old saying? The course of true love never did run smooth. They say I'm a native American…"

"and I'm a hokwat a white girl," she said

"And I'm too young to know who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Yes, and I am older than you now."

"And the pack won't be happy," Jake finished.

"I know. But to have my father choose my husband? Ewww."

"His eyes have been blinded by the credit cards of the Cullens. The sparkling of them all has bewitched him somehow. Charlie isn't usually like that. He's just reaching suddenly for the shiny pretty things before they disappear from his view."

Bella sighed. "If we really love each other Jake, maybe we have to be patient. A lot of people have to wait for a little while before they get married and you are still young. We have plenty of time for thoughts, dreams, wishes and sighs."

"Jeez bells. Not if Charlie sends you to a nunnery, we won't." He hugged her in against him in one of his trademark rib crusher hugs. "I've got a rich aunt. She lives in Seattle. She and Billy don't get on. I have kept in touch with her and I told her about you. She said she would leave me everything she has in her will. We could run away and get married there. We have to do it soon though; tomorrow night. Will that give you time to pack?"

She smiled tentatively at him and nodded.

"I'll meet you in that clearing behind your house… you know the one where Leah and I met you once on pack business? You know the one I mean?" He kissed her quickly. "I'll wait for you there."

"Oh Jake," she sighed. "I promise by every promise ever made, that I will meet you there and go with you. We will run away together."

"Good. Can't wait." He bent down as if to kiss her again, then his head shifted. "Leah's coming," he growled.

Leah barrelled in the door slamming it behind her.

"Hey Leah," Bella greeted her; determined to give nothing away of their hopeful plans. She and Leah had become friends recently.

"What the fuck Swan?" Leah barked at her.

"You look good," Bella tried.

Leah's eyes narrowed. "Not good enough for Eddie though, eh? He just goes on and on about your big brown doe-like eyes. The sweetness of your voice. And how adorably clumsy you are. So are you telling me that if I behaved like you? Sounded like you? Fell over and hurt myself all the time like you, that he might love me more than you?"

"I don't want to marry him. You can have him. But he keeps insisting."

"Yeah. I heard. Still trying even though you refuse him." She shook her head. "I don't get it. Is it the trying hard to get thing? Or is that because he's made of stone it takes him a while to change?"

"I cursed him and he still said he loved me."

"I get sex but not love."

"The more I tell him to leave me alone, the more he follows me around." Bella looked momentarily horrified. "He watches me sleep!" she blurted out.

"If I try too hard, he pulls away form me," Leah argued.

"If he's too stupid to see how beautiful you are Leah that is his problem, not yours."

"I wish I was like you," Leah breathed. "Then he would love me."

Bella resisted pointing out that he would still be in love with her on Leah's outside.

"Jake and I are running away…" she ignored the frantic waving of Jake behind Leah. "So when I'm not around, he'll take more notice of you. … probably. … maybe." She beamed at Jake. "Once I really saw Jake … when he took his shirt off and I saw that body… I mean he has some kind of gift to make rainy old Forks seem as hot as hell."

"Honestly, Leah," Jake added resigning himself to Bella already having blown the secret. "Middle of tomorrow night, we are out of here."

"Yes," Bella sighed dreamily. "We are going to meet in that clearing. The one where you and I used to lie in the wildflowers and have girl talks. And then we have places to go and new friends to make, because I won't be coming back here again." She looked at her friend and held her hand. "Look Leah, if you want Edward, I really hope that it works out for you. But can you keep this a secret? For us? It's probably best that Jake and I not be together before then, just so we don't give anything away."

"Dammit Bells. You're right." He kissed her quickly. "You need to go, I can hear Charlie's patrol car starting up."

Bella left with a final longing glance at Jake. Leah rolled her eyes.

"Leah I heard you two fucking. Edward seriously has the hots for you. You've got nothing to worry about. I think it's just that whole vampire werewolf issue. I'm on patrol now. See you later." He punched her in the top of the arm and loped out the door.

Leah sighed. "Maybe, but I don't look like her. His fragile, delicate little… 'singer' what the fuckever that is. Everyone tells me I'm beautiful or striking, that's the word they usually use. They don't mean pretty; not like her. He keeps going on about her and I let him do it. I'm so in love with him I am behaving like a child. And I was there first! He told me he loved me a long time ago. Before Bella ever moved to Forks. He promised me. He said we just couldn't be public; because of the treaty. And I believed him. She melted his stone cold heart. So I'm the queen bitch. I'm going to tell him his little singer is swanning off with wolf boy. And once he gets over her betrayal; he'll be mine again." She looked oddly pleased with herself. "Yep, that'll work!"

Scene 2

La Push Sam's house.

The pack except for Jake and Leah were assembled in Sam's living room; their usual haunt for pack meetings.

Sam spoke, "Is everyone here?"

"Jeez Sam, why don't you call the roll?" muttered Quil.

Sam ignored him. "For some reason known only to old Quil, he has insisted that we do a play for Billy's wedding."

"What play?" asked Quil.

"Some ancient thing called 'the death of Pyramus and Thisbe'," Sam grunted. "Personally I think he's been getting into the mushrooms or the herbal tea again." He raised both eyebrows. Paul snorted.

"Does anyone know the story?" Sam asked.

"Oh I do," Seth answered enthusiastically. The whole pack rolled its eyes.

Seth either ignored them or failed to notice the looks they gave him. "It's a story of forbidden romance," he whispered. "The play upon which such classics as Romeo and Juliet are based. The two Roman lovers fall in love through a hole in the wall between their two houses…"

"I fell in love with Nancy Smithton after making a hole in her wall," Paul announced.

"… they arrange to meet at a famous tomb," Seth blithely continued. "But she arrives early and is attacked by a lion. She runs away and when he arrives, he sees her bloodstained scarf and thinks she is dead. He falls on his sword, and when she comes back she sees he is dead and she kills herself with his sword. Their blood stains the white berries on the mulberry tree. And in remembrance of their deaths, the gods changed the mulberry fruit to red, to forever honour their forbidden love." Seth looked dreamily up at the ceiling.

"So that explains why mulberry stains are so hard to shift, then," Jared stated.

"Okay, so who plays which part?" Quil asked.

Sam frowned. "He's given me a list." He pulled out a piece of paper. "He was right weird about it."

"Come on Sam, who gets the lead," Paul asked. "It should be me right; the lover."

"Nope," said Sam. "He's got Quil for Pyramus."

"Quil? He's mated to a three year old," Paul blustered.

"Fuck you Lahote," Quil defended his imprint. "Clearly I am the right person for this role; it's a tragedy."

"Imprinting on a three year old is a tragedy," muttered Paul.

Quil heard him and growled at him.

"Give it up guys," pleaded Sam.

"I can act," Quil argued. "Listen to this:

The raging rocks

And shivering shocks

Shall break the locks

Of prison gates:

And Phibbus' car

Shall shine from far,

And make and mar

The foolish Fates."

The pack stared at him.

"What the fuck, Quil!" Jared said. "Where on earth did that come from?"

"See! I'm a natural," Quil looked pleased with himself. "So who plays the girl? Leah?"

Sam growled at him now. He checked the paper and grinned. "Nope. Embry does."

"What? Why am I the girl?" Embry wailed.

Paul snorted again. "'cause you wail like one, Em."

"I can't play a woman," Embry argued. "Look I need a shave." He pointed at his chin.

Sam studied it. "Even with my eyes, I can't see anything Embry. Not one whisker. You're the girl." Sam gave him another look when he continued to protest. "Don't make me alpha order you."

"Fine," Embry huffed.

"See. Girl," said Paul to Jared. "Fine is such a girl word."

"Shut up Lahote," Embry spat at him.

"I'll do it!" offered Quil.

"Do what?" Sam asked.

"Play the girl as well. See I can do a good girl voice." He shifted his tone to a high quaver, "Oh Pyramus it is your Thisbe," he squeaked.

"Jesus!" said Sam. "NO. Embry you're Thisbe. Quil you're Pyramus."

"If you insist," Quil agreed. "Who's next?"

"Jared. You're Thisbe's mother," Sam stated. Jared opened his mouth to argue, but Sam gave him such a fierce look he just quickly shut his mouth. "Paul, you're his father and I am Thisbe's father."

"Ohhh so you're married to Jared," suggested Quil.

Another glare from Sam.

"What part do I get?" asked Seth.

"You…" Sam checked the paper again. "You're the lion."

"The lion?" queried Seth.

"The lion," repeated Sam.

"Does it have a speaking part?" Seth asked.

"Nope. Just roaring."

"You can learn those lines quickly, eh Seth?" teased Paul.

"I'd make a good lion," suggested Quil. "I'd be so good that Billy would ask me to roar again."

"You'd probably roar too loud and scare the fuck out of the bride," Sam stated. "And Billy would neuter us all."

"Oh yeah," the pack chorused.

"I can roar quietly," argued Quil.

"What the fuck, Quil. Give it up. You can't play all the roles. You're the hero. Aren't you happy with the lead role? It's the one your grandfather wants you to play," Sam argued.

"All right but I need a beard."

"A what?" Sam spluttered.

"I think a nice blond beard would look good," Quil continued.

"NO!"

Quil huffed and folded his arms.

"Okay. We are not practicing here. Emily will laugh so hard, she'll dislocate something. We will go to that clearing in the woods. The one near the rez. And for Christ's sake, bring some pants. We are not doing rehearsal bare arsed."

"Got it!" Quil said. "Not naked. Clearing. Rehearsal. I'm good."

FF_2154210_ - 21/12/2011 03:47:00 PM