SQA

Lacrymosa

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight. Nor do we own the song, Lacrymosa. That's property of Evanescence.

..

"Bella, we're leaving."

Gone.

"Out on your own, cold and alone again. Can this be what you really wanted, baby?"

He was gone. Edward Cullen, the very essence of my existence had left me.

Edward Cullen, with whom I was irrevocably in love with... Didn't love me. He didn't want me.

Maybe he never had.

How could I be sure? His eyes had been solid topaz... Hard, and void of anything that might have contradicted his words.

His words...

... I am numb. Edward's face is a grim mask.

"I'm no good for you Bella."

I contradict him. I don't remember my words- all that matters is the fact they aren't working.

"My world is not for you."

I try to object, but it doesn't work...

"Blame it on me, set your guilt free. Nothing can hold you back now."

He'd gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't reach him, couldn't catch him. He could be anywhere by now. When he'd run, I'd tried to follow. I couldn't not. To let him go would have been to let go of everything- my love, my life...

But he was too fast, even without his stupid volvo.

There was nothing I could do...

He didn't want me. He'd said so himself.

It seemed I was back to being just Bella.

No longer... Edward's Bella.

Just Bella Swan.

Now that I'd know what it was to be with him, this seemed like a fate worse than death.

"Now that you're gone, I feel like myself again. Grieving the things I can't repair and willing..."

He doesn't look at me for the longest time. Then,

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

"To let you blame it on me, and set your guilt free. I don't want to hold you back now love."

If I wasn't good enough for him, why had he stayed so long? Why had he indulged me?

It didn't matter now, did it?

"I can't change who I am."

He is looking into the trees rather than at me.

"I'm... tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human."

I know that he's not human. But realization is beginning to dawn. Even as I protest, I know that it is of no use. My words can do nothing to sway him now.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

He knows I can't argue with this. If I live forever, I will never be good enough for him.

"Not this time, I wont lie to keep you near me. And in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up"

"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me."

My heart stops beating, for just a moment. I do not know how it is able to continue. I can't feel it anymore; my entire body is numb.

But he is still speaking.

"You can go on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed."

There is a problem with this. I will never be able to forget him. His existence has become vital to mine.

I love him...

...Once upon a time, I'd thought he loved me too. In my room, I found meaning behind his words. He'd taken anything I could link back to him. His CD, the pictures... He left no trace of his existence.

"My love wasn't enough."

His smile is gentle.

"Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

Is that so? I am unsure. I try to ask him about his memories, but am partially afraid for the answer. My voice comes out funny.

He is hesitant with his reply.

"Well... I won't forget. But my kind... We're easily distracted."

At least one of us can be happy.

"And you can blame it on me, and set your guilt free, honey. I don't want to hold you back now love."

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Goodbye, Bella."

Fin.