Author's Note: This Mary Sue parody is based off of crazyroninchic's "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" (a hilariously AWESOME read!), as well as other fics like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. However, I (unfortunately) own the Mary Sue and the Suefic the Titans are reading.

Chapter One: The Doom Has Come

It was a little over a week since the Brotherhood of Evil was defeated. Most of the Titans had gone back to their respective homes, but Jinx, Kid Flash, Kole, and Jericho were still staying at Titans' Tower for the time being.

"What is this?" Raven asked one morning in the middle of breakfast. She was holding something in her hands.

"Uh...a book?" Beast Boy suggested, a bit warily.

He had good reason to be. The book was a bright shade of pink and covered with pink heart-shaped stickers.

Everyone stared at the book as Raven continued. "I found it in my room. I don't know how it got there, but there doesn't seem to be any dark magic in it..."

"Dark magic or not, we're burning that book," Robin said suddenly.

Kid Flash laughed. "Yeah, nothing good can come from that much pink."

"What's wrong with pink?" Jinx wanted to know.

"It's only a color," Kole added.

"I don't like pink," Jericho signed. Eight pairs of eyes looked at the mute boy strangely; Kole in particular looked rather miffed. "What?"

"If we are going to do the burning of the book," Starfire said after an awkward pause, "perhaps we should read it first to find out what it contains."

"Let me see that, Raven," Cyborg said. Raven gave the half robot the book. He opened it and quickly skimmed the first few pages.

Cyborg snickered. "Robin, you better hope this is a girl for your sake."

The Boy Wonder felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. This book did not have anything good for him, he was sure of it.

Beast Boy took a peek at the book, and let out a short laugh. "Dudes, we're SO reading this!"

Kid Flash grinned, ignoring the glare Robin was giving him. "All in favor of reading it, say, 'Aye.'"

"Aye!" the others (not including Robin) chorused, with the exception of Jericho, who nodded. Hey, it wasn't everyday one got to see the leader of the Teen Titans embarrassed.

"Not you, too!" Robin complained to Starfire. The Tamaranean's face reddened as she smiled sheepishly.

A few minutes later, the nine Titans were in the living room. Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, Cyborg, Kid Flash, Jericho, and Kole were all sitting on the couch, and Jinx was sitting on a chair in front of them with the pink book in her hands.

"Everyone will have to read a chapter," Jinx said.

"Uh, hello? Aren't you forgetting something?" Jericho asked. He pointed at his throat.

Jinx rolled her eyes. "Fine, everyone but Jericho will have to read."

Robin scowled at Jericho. He just looked on innocently.

"But won't some chapters be longer than others?" Cyborg wanted to know.

Jinx shrugged. "If the chapter gets obscenely long, the person currently reading can give the book to the next reader."

"And what if it's just obscene?" Kid Flash asked, grinning.

Jinx shot him a dirty look. She then addressed the group as a whole. "Any more questions? No? Good." She opened the book and started to read.

A New Titan

By RobinLuvver34

"This is starting to sound like a Mary Sue," Raven interrupted, her eyes widening slightly.

"A Mary what?" Beast Boy asked.

"A Mary Sue," Raven repeated. "The annoyingly perfect girl who becomes a Titan and sleeps with Robin. Or Beast Boy." She grimaced. "Or sometimes both."

"I do not believe we should continue!" Starfire exclaimed, not liking the idea of Robin with another girl, even if said girl technically didn't exist.

"Now you side with me," Robin muttered.

"Will all of you shut up?" Jinx snapped.

Once there was a seventeen-year-old girl who was the most beautiful girl to ever exist.

Raven shifted in her seat, mumbling something about how her Sue senses were tingling already.

She had wavy chocolate brown hair

"So her hair's edible, then?" Beast Boy joked. No one laughed.

that fell to the middle of her back, and her green eyes were like a pair of bright, piercing emeralds. Her skin was a creamy white, and she was very slender and very curvy. Her hands were smooth, slim, and altogether flawless.

"Jeeze!" Jinx exclaimed in frustration. "This girl spends about five paragraphs going on and on about exactly how pretty she is!"

"Mary Sues love to describe their supposed unmatched beauty," Raven said.

The girl went by the name Angel, and although she was Slade's daughter,

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Jericho burst out. The others stared at him. Jericho had jumped out of his seat and was now glaring at the book as though it had seriously offended him.

"Jericho, what's wrong?" Kole asked.

"I never had an older sister!" he signed furiously. "Unless there's something Dad's not telling me! Then again, he didn't tell me a lot of things, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised."

There was a short pause after Jericho stopped his little rant.

Robin, who was looking at Jericho with his eyes narrowed, was the first to speak. "Wait a minute--are you saying Slade's your father? And you didn't say anything?"

"Damn it!" Jericho cursed. "This story has me swearing and revealing secrets. This isn't good."

"Are you done?" Jinx asked. "I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."

she did not want to follow in her father's footsteps by becoming a villain. She wanted to be a hero.

"That's my thing!" Jericho complained. "Doesn't she have any originality?"

"Dude, are you gonna blow a gasket every time Slade's mentioned?" Beast Boy asked.

"And Mary Sues," Raven added, "can't be original to save their lives."

Specifically a Titan.

"We will never allow you to join us!" Starfire shouted at the book, as though Angel could somehow hear her.

In fact, Angel was on her way to Jump City right now for that very purpose: to join the Teen Titans as its sixth member.

"Like Starfire said, we wouldn't let you on the team!" Robin exclaimed. "And you're not coming within a hundred miles of me!"

"That's the end of the chapter," Jinx announced, ignoring Robin outburst. "Who wants to read next?"

No answer. Apparently, everyone was determined NOT to read.

Finally, Jinx tossed the book at Kid Flash and it landed in his lap.

"Thanks for volunteering, Kid Flash," Jinx said in a cheery voice, getting up from the chair.

Kid Flash groaned, looking like the book had burned him. It probably did, but that was beside the point.

Author's Note: And that's the first chapter! Sorry if it wasn't all that great--writing that Suefic gives me a headache. And speaking of that, I'm going for all-out Mary Sue here, so if anyone has any suggestions on how to make the Sue more Sue-ish, let me know via review or PM, please.